October 22, 2011 - Pre-Recorded Show

Tormented "Rotten Death"
Seplophile "Pale Horse"
Loudness "Survivor"
Immolation "Illumination"
To the Deep "Capsized"

Worm Quartet "The Laudromat of Sin"
Woods of Desolation "The Inevitable End"
Boguslaw Balcerak's Crylord "Ante Bellum Overture / Blood of the Prophets"
Careless "Blackened Walls of Freedom"
Golden Ressurection "The End of the World"


October 15, 2011 - Randy gets Hypnotized

Recap by The Metal Wulf 
Had a very strange night in some regards. Azkath from The Last Exit For The Lost had paid a brief visit, and for some reason I get a little fuzzy-headed when he's around. No worries, though... not like the guy can hypnotize me or anything... Still, it sure would be nice to know how in the Hell I was capable of sprouting a furry, claw-covered paw. Talk about messed up! Then the guys tried to convince me I was a werewolf, which is utterly ridiculous, of course. Those goofy fellas, I tell ya...
There was also some confusion regarding the return of the Plant From Hell. Honestly, wasn't sure if it was the same spiky-leafed monstrosity in a different planter, or if it was the terrible Spawn Of Plant From Hell. Whatever the case, I wasn't getting too close. I've still got the scars on my butt cheeks to remind me not to fool around with that thing in the room... Talked about last weeks Primus show at the Main Street Armory in Rochester. Great show, and as predicted most of us spent the week with Les Claypool bass-lines playing in our heads. Some folks may have been a little disappointed with the setlst, which was kind of sparse on hits, but everything was played to perfection. That, and we got two full sets of music, as the entire new album (Green Naugauhyde) was played front to back. Overall, no complaints!

One of the funnier moments in the show last night came during a discussion of Thanksgiving. This was a prime example of just how far off the beaten path we can get, and end up spiralling downward until we crash and burn. Honestly, I dont' remember how we got to discussing Thanksgiving, but from there I mentioned something about Turducken. If you've never heard of it, Turducken is a multi-bird roast, and is a pretty hot item among Cajun-style foods. Literally, it's a de-boned chicken, stuffed into a de-boned duck, stuffed into a de-boned turkey, also stuffed with a breadcrumb mixture or sometimes sausage. Just for those who have no clue as to what the Hell I'm talking about, mind you... So, we went from discussing that (which, let's face it, was already going off the beaten path), and less than two minutes later we're discussing John Madden and former WWE Women's Champion, Chyna, doing a porno flick together. For the life of me, I don't know how we made that jump. Logically, there was nothing there to sensibly connect Thanksgiving to John Madden getting freaky with Chyna. It made no sense... But damn it was funny! Seriously, it was such a diversion from the original topic that Joe felt it was necessary to play that new LuLu song (Metallica/Lou Reed collaboration, god-awful, in case you were wondering...) for added ambience. Much to our dismay, of course, because the song blows. Yet, Joe keeps insisting that we love it, so he keeps playing it... But yeah, sometimes it really doesn't take much to throw us off the beaten path and straight down the side of a big ol' hard rockin' cliff... Crash and burn!


October 8, 2011 - Just Joe's Birthday

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

So, if you were tuned in this week, you know that I was ousted from the show early. Somehow I ended up by the road with a For Free sign tied around my neck... Good thing Bill was passing by at around that time, 'cuz who the Hell knows where I may have ended up otherwise? Thanks a bunch, guys, I won't forget this one...

Anyhoo, I probably deserved it, considering I'd consumed some Zatarain's Red Beans and Rice before the show, and the results were a little worse than normal... (Worse meaning that Jeffie ended up comparing the smell to dead Sea Monkeys...25-year-dead Sea Monkeys, to be precise...) Okay, I'm kind of a gassy guy, and yeah, everybody's right, it doesn't seem to matter what I eat! Maybe I should just starve myself? Either that , or just accept things for what they are and just go for broke every week. Maybe I'll have a whole bunch of broccoli and taco dip before the next show! Mmmmm... (No worries, I'm not actually a big fan of broccoli...)

Anyway, from a music perspective, there was a bit of a mixed bag for some of us. I mean, Joe played "Mad Dog" by Anvil, a song I hadn't heard since the 80's. Seriously, the last time I'd heard that song was on Bob Appel's old show, The Rock Shop. The good old days... So, yeah, that was pretty awesome. However, Joe decided that we deserved to hear that Metallica/Lou Reed song again. Now, this collaboration has officially been dubbed LuLu...although, as much as I love Metallica (and I really do, don't get me wrong...), the majority of us on the Onslaught seem to think that the name should be changed to PuPu... Okay, the music itself really isn't terrible. It's mostly Lou Reed's involvement that turns this into a huge pile of shit, at least in my book. And face it, Lars' drumming in recent years hasn't been so great. Can't put my finger on it, but there is definitely something missing from his old sound...

Now, as if that weren't bad enough, he also tossed in some more Bulletboys from their recent cover album, as well as some Michael Schenker with Robin McCauley (a little lame, I'm sad to say, and I seem to remember that line-up of MSG actually being pretty good...), Five Finger Death Punch (hate 'em, just don't care for this band, never have...), and a truly awful track from Maylene and The Sons Of Disaster, a band that Joe actually liked an album or so ago. Oddly enough, the best song that came out of that Set Of Pain (as I have dubbed it...) was the Bulletboys track, a cover of Scorpions "Falling In Love". In fact, we all agreed that Bulletboys actually IMPROVED on the original. (Honestly, not that big of a feat, if you ask me, and I'm actually a fan of the Scorps...) Redemption for this set came a little later, as Joe played some Charred Walls Of The Damned, which features former Judas Priest vocalist Tim "Ripper" Owens, and was pretty freakin' good! He also backed that up with some classic Priest in the form of "Desert Plains", so the night really wasn't a complete bust!


October 1, 2011 - Jeffie Gets Naked

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Lots and lots of new music, as anticipated. It's a busy time o' year, that's for damned sure! Not that I'm complaining, 'cuz some of this stuff is pretty kick-ass! Case in point: Worship Music by Anthrax!! Such a great disc, it's a shame I've gotta settle for a burned copy for the time being. I'll have the real thing in my hands before too long. If you're a fan, you need to purchase it, NOW!!! One of the best of the year, mark my words! We played some tracks from Wayne Static's "Pighammer"  disc, really good stuff to be honest, but then I always thought Static-X were cool as hell, anyway. Some of this new stuff  is almost danceable, but I'll let you be the judge of whether or not that's a good thing. Me, well, I fully admit to movin' a bit, here and there... The new Machine Head is incredible, at least what I've heard from it so far. Another case of, if you're a fan, it's fully worty of your collection. I'm definitely looking forward to hearing  more. Folks seem a little on the fence about the new Opeth release (Heritage), both production-wise and vocally. Personally, the clean vocals don't bother me in the least, but I'm more of an old-school fan, anyway. Back when I started listening to this stuff, there was no such thing as growling in metal! And now I'm starting to sound old... Shit... Anyhoo, I've no complaints about anything I've heard off of Heritage. Once again, be your own judge, don't be swayed by the rantings of others. You've got a brain, so think for yerself, dammit! Of course, not everything that's coming is completely killer. Definitely wasn't overwhelmed by the Bulletboys cover of Accept's "Balls To The Wall". This track features a puzzling mega-phone-like effect during the main verses, completely unnecessary. Marq Torien is actually a damned good singer, and I just don't get it. He should have just gone...well...balls to the wall with it... And then Joe subjected us to a complete travesty.

Okay, I'm no big fan of Lou Reed, right out of the starting gate. Really, I just don't care about the guy. On the other hand, I really do love Metallica, especially the older stuff. I mean, say what you will about them now, but the first three albums are bona-fide classics. Whoever thought that combining the talents of both parties, though, should be systematically hung, drawn, quartered, and fed piece by piece to a pack of starving, rabid poodles. The track in question, called "The View", is utterly disappointing. I mean, I really wanted to give it an honest try, and I'm just not feelin' it. But hey, once again, that's just me, and if you think it's something you'd be interested in, by all means check it out.

We'd gotten into Joe's current sinus discomfort. He's not one to suffer from seasonal allergies or anything like that, but somehow he was just really congested. I'd mentioned how this is actually a rough time of year for me, telling how the goldenrod tends to kick my ass. That's goldenrod, the plant, NOT Golden Rod the sex toy as some would have suggested... Ahem...

Let's see... Jeffie received a phone call from Azkath during the show, and started to mention something about eight owls. Now, a few months ago, that would have sent everyone into mass panic. Actually, it almost did last night, but I had a thought. I told Jeffie to go ahead and pass the message along, which is, in case you've forgotten, is "There are eight owls in my tree".
Previously, this would have triggered full-on Viking-rage in me, and Olaf would have come out for a visit, but, strangely, that didn't happen. Which is completely fine by me, because that guy was completely out of his mind! Must be that the head trauma that spawned Olaf in the first place didn't apply after I'd been cloned! Fine by me!


September 24, 2011 - Dave Returns!


Recap by The Metal Wulf;

Well, it was pretty much back to the normal routine after skipping a show to take in a Last Exit For The Lost Presents event at The Haunt in Ithaca. That particular show featured Sanjuro Fields, Psyche Corporation, The Lobster Quadrille, and Zadoc...& The Nightmare, and kicked ass from beginning to end. Not a metal show as such, but a great evening of very different sounds and styles, and there's not a damned thing wrong with that! And that was just five days after Rick, Bill, Erica, and myself had taken in another incredible show at The Montage in Rochester. That one featured DevilDriver with Skeletonwitch, Chthonic, and locals Othin opening the whole thing. Gotta say this: Chthonic are fucking INCREDIBLE, and if you missed their show this time, you need to make it a point to check them out if they come back through the area. You will NOT be disappointed!

Anyhoo, so much for playing catch-up... Our most recent show could best be described as special. And if you tuned in, you know just how "special" I mean... Dave hadn't joined us in studio in over two years. Bear in mind, that last visit was the night of the Super Dave Challenge, where Joe got screwed out of $10,000. I think Joe might still be a little pissed about that... Of course, pairing Dave up with Jeffie is never a good thing. I think the only thing that would have made the night lean more toward catastrophe would be if Just Joe were included in the mayhem, and I don't think any of us would survive that. Hmmmmm, maybe I need to stop tempting fate...

I've gotta say this: I LOVE taunting Dave about the whole wolf thing. After the whole hoax thing was revealed, it was always funny seeing Dave in Ithaca and telling him, "Hey, Dave, I'm not really a wolf!" Seriously, any other time watching a grown man/child cry would NOT be funny in the least, but with Dave, it's fucking HILARIOUS! Well, I made Dave's night during his visit when I told him that now I really AM a werewolf, thanks to Jeffie's genetic tamperings. Yep, Dave was pretty damned chirpy after telling him that! Unfortunately, it was the wrong time of the month to make the most of the "good" news. Good for Dave, anyway...

So, we'd asked Jeffie where he was the week before, as he had said he'd be at The Haunt. He claimed that he and Dave had gone to the wrong club. As in, the kind of club where dollars go into g-strings... GUY'S g-strings... Apparently Dave walked out with a lotta singles that night... EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Didn't take long for things to degenerate into silliness, as what could only be defined as a tickly orgy ensued, getting almost everybody involved. If I had to judge, I'd almost have to say that Josh is probably the most ticklish of the Onslaught crew. I'm sure he'll appreciate my sharing that! (C'mon Josh, you know you're fine with the ladies knowing you're ticklish!)

The evening culminated with a wrestling match between Dave and Jeffie, that further degenerated into more tickling and just general pandemonium. Jeffie even called for some play by play, so I attempted to provide my best Jim Ross (WWE announcer) impersonation. Probably failed miserably, as well, but it's all cool.

And, yeah, that's pretty much the most pertinent of the evening's events. I mean, there was mention at some point in the latter part of the evening about my "Smurf-kini", but I'm sure folks would rather just not hear the gory details regarding that...


September 17, 2011 - A Quiet Night...

Recap by Fire Eater Wizard; Most of the MO gang, Rick, Randy, BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!, and, Jeffie were attending the The Last Exit For The Lost Presents Show, which left Joe and Josh holding down the fort. Lots of awesome metal was played, as always. And things were talked about, like how disgusting and just plain wrong chocolate toothpaste is, although Joe and Josh split on citrus flavored toothpaste, Joe thought that was disgusting and wrong as well, while Josh liked it... And as always, good information was given on what cool new music had been released recently, and would be released soon and where/how to look for it... As always, your great source for all things metal!


Dream Theater - Outcry
Megadeth - Public Enemy No. 1
Doogie White - Time Machine

Black Sabbath - Danger Zone
Black Sabbath - Disturbing The Priest
Pain Of Salvation - Mortar Grind
Redemption - No Tickets To The Funeral
Bucket - Guitars, Beers & Tears


September 10, 2011 - More Bleach Drunkeness

Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;
Boat Sails, AKA Kim Dreyheim, formerly of the band Static Cling, and currently of the band Infrared Radiation Orchestra, was there for the first couple hours. He promoted an upcoming event that his band would be performing at. Jeffie arrived. After a while he said he was naked. He apparently believed this, even though everyone else, after daring to look, said that he had clothes on. But when Jeffie said that, if he wasn't naked, then he should take his clothes off to become that way, everyone hastened to assure him that he didn't need to do that, he was already naked. Jeffie tried to give Randy what he believed was a naked lap dance. He and Randy fought. Jeffie started drinking bleach again, and began acting high and slurring his words. He tried to get Randy to drink it again, since he now can because he is a clone, but Randy wanted no part of it this time. Randy disgusted Joe and Rick by singing cheesy songs throughout the night, but the worst was that he kept singing Olivia Newton John's "Xanadu", and that he admitted to having seen the movie. Joe told Tim that perhaps Randy was even more of a non metal wuss than he was. Because of the bleach drinking, Jeffie became The Tickle Monster again, tickling Josh. Then he tickled Randy, and then the tickling turned into something more disturbing and disgusting. Let's just say that Jeffie's hands went places where they should never go. He claimed he had found and removed something from one of Randy's folds, Randy is, well, on the heavy side. Randy said that wasn't his fold, or his divot... Joe told Jeffie he should give Tim a big hug, as this would be his last MO for a while, as he is going back home. Tim got lots of hugging from Jeffie, which he wasn't very happy with. And, Lance was there for about the last three hours to witness the silliness and disturbing goings on...

Arch/Matheos - Stained Glass Sky
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind

Van Canto - If I Die In Battle
Jorn - The Inner Road
Dream Theater - On the Backs Of Angels


September 3, 2011 - Bleach Drinking and Sad Whales...

Recap by The Metal Wulf; 
There was plenty of new music on hand, which is always a plus. Wouldn't be much of a hard rock/heavy metal radio show if we didn't actually play music, now would it? Especially knowing that there's a whole slew of new releases arriving in the coming weeks. Lots to look forward to, and we'll be playin' it! Plenty of craziness to go around last night, as well. Josh actually impressed us for a bit as he stood up and tried to keep Tim in order. Well, you know, you shouldn't come on a radio show of this type and start singing Olivia Newton-John songs. I really can't blame Josh for getting "Physical"... Tim stated that he thought he was bleeding, at which point I asked him if he was sure it wasn't menstrual. I mean, the guy DOES like "Glee", after all... (Tim, once again, I apologize. That was a brutally low comeback, even from me! But DAMN it was funny!) Another, brief, bit of silliness occurred when I mentioned that I'd shared a fun little Facebook link that portrayed what, to me at least, is the ultimate lawn decoration. Lawn gnomes and pink flamingo statues are boring as hell, but when you make them ZOMBIE GNOMES, and they're actually EATING the flamingos, they become awesome! Hell, as great as that would be for Halloween, I'd keep them up year-round! Of course, Joe had to ask what I had against flamingos... And Josh had to mention something about the flamingos dancing flamenco-style... Yep, downhill from there!


August 27, 2011 - Werewolf Again

Recap by The Metal Wulf; 

Had Dramagod in the studio this evening, as well as Dave from Spater. Dramagod were on hand to promote an upcoming benefit festival for autism awareness called Pick Up The Pieces, being held this Saturday at KEGS Canalside in Jordan Elbridge. The event begins at 1:00 p.m. and runs through 2:00 a.m., and features a number of great bands from around the Finger Lakes Region. Among the bands scheduled to play, in addition to Dramagod, are Lowkey, Amerikan Primitive, Hunter Allen Murray, When Everything Fails, Smite, Just A Memory, Avigal, Just A Peace, and more. Dave was on hand to promote Metal Night at the Sons Of Italy in Geneva, a show that not only saw Spater play with Lowkey and Dawn Of The Apocalypse, but also saw Spater do a short tribute set of AC/DC classics. Rick, Josh, and myself were on hand to help intoduce the bands, and video footage is forthcoming. Had some crazy and unexpected moments, particularly during D.O.T.A.'s set, as they'd found themselves without a singer just hours before this event was to take place. There was some discussion of a couple shows that some of us had attended during the week, particularly Amon Amarth and Kittie. Both shows were great in their own ways. Amon Amarth are just epicly awewome. Honestly, before this show, I liked most of what I'd heard by them anyway, but didn't own any of their albums. After seeing their performance at Water Street Music Hall, I'll be rectifying that in the coming months. Definitely a must-see if you're into their style of epic, mythoology-inspired death metal. I've honestly gotta say that it's been a long damned time since I've heard a crowd so excited for a performance, and showing that excitement in such a loud manner! Kittie flat out slayed at The Lost Horizon. These girls are all business, do NOT underestimate their ability to bludgeon your eardrums to the point of surrender. I'm going out on a limb at the moment and saying that "We Are The Lamb" is probably one of the most crushingly heavy songs I've heard all year. Check them out if they come to your town! I'd also like to give major shout-outs to the opening bands for this show. A very diverse line-up, featuring Dirge Within, a killer thrash outfit called Diamond Plate, along with three local bands, Capricorn Black, Armed With Valor, and Tirade. Made for a varied assortment of styles, and that's never a bad thing! Some video clips from both shows are up on my YouTube page (metalwulff). You'll find Amon Amarth and Kittie, as well as Diamond Plate, Capricorn Black, and Armed With Valor. Feel free to check 'em out!

So, moving on to the crazier moments of the evening... I have vague memories of Jeffie putting me out with chloroform, and when I came to I'd sprouted fur, claws, fangs, a snout, you name it, it was there. Needless to say, I freaked. I mean, the whole Wulfie thing, to begin with, was just a fun gimmick that Jeffie ruined by revealing that I wasn't really a werewolf. Well, evidence at the time of my awakening indicated that he'd somehow made me a werewolf for real, and I flipped out. Never really wanted that, Jeffie... So, of course, carnage was unleashed upon Jeffie, as well as Josh, who got caught up in the mayhem along with Tim Binder, who's been visiting the show over the past couple of weeks. But, once the show was over and I got calmed down a bit, I realized that Jeffie had just glued the old Wulfie mask to my face, along with the gloves. A painful process getting all that stuff off, to be honest. Thankfully I was able to keep the majority of my skin intact as I removed these things. Can't imagine how I would have explained it at my job... Yep, what was thought to be the return of Wulfie seems to have just been a clever little trick orchestrated by Jeffie. Of course, I hadn't said anything at the time about the results of some recent blood work I'd had done as part of my yearly check-up... Jeffie, Jeffie, Jeffie, what have you done to me?

Uncle Knucklefunk - Papa's Pretty Pickle
Jorn - Stormcrow
Pagan's Mind - Revelation To The End
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind
DC4 - Electric Ministry
Symphony X - Electric Messiah
Gentlemans Pistols - Heavy Petting
The Godz - Go Away
The Quill - Waiting For The Sun
George Lynch - Brand New Day
Rival Sons - Face The Light
Dramagod - Jackabite
Armed With Valor - What All The Kids Are Craving
MonstrO - Stallone
Jeff The Brotherhood - Bummer
Chimaira - Year Of The Snake
Dramagod - Road To Nowhere
Wayne Static - Assassins Of Youth
Lemmy - Enter Sandman
Opeth - The Devil's Orchard
Alice Cooper - I'll Bite Your Face Off
Diamond Plate - Pull The Trigger
Spater - Rat Salad
Warbringer - Shattered Like Glass
Faster Pussycat - Lovedrive
Mastodon - Curl Of The Burl
The Devil Wears Prada - Born To Lose
Evile - Centurion
Spater - Sucker Punch
Lowkey - Jumping On The Back Of A Shark
Black Pyramid - Warswine
Vader - Lord Of Thorns
Anterior - Blood In The Throne Room
Dirge Within - Absolution
AC/DC - Inject The Venom
Raging Slab - Anywhere But Here
Vio-lence - Bodies On Bodies
Revocation - Beloved Horrifier
Serianna - Deep Sleep
KYNG - Falling Down
Black Tide - Fight Til The Bitter End
Anthrax - Fight 'Em 'Till You Can't
Nekrogoblikon - Bears
Careless - Boundaries
Gypsy Hawk - Gypsy Hawk
Georgy - Third Degree Sodomy
ICS Vortex - Storm Seeker
Embrace The Massacre - Red Hour
Jasta - Set You Adrift
Demonical - Return In Flesh
Design The Skyline - Witch Of The Woods
Last Red Ember - Anchor Management
Testament - Into The Pit
Alice In Chains - Check My Brain


August 20, 2011 - Time Travelling Jeffie

So, this show has some issues. For some reason, the last half hour of the broadcast seems to have gone dead. The internet feed continued, and thanks to a loyal fan, we were able to get a copy of the last two talk breaks. However, being recorded poorly from the internet, they sound pretty awful. You can pretty much make out what is going on, but it sounds bad. The songs are fine. We re-added those. So when you get to those breaks, now you know why they sound so poor.

Recap by Randy, aka Wulfie, aka The Hoax Formerly Known As MetalWulf

Well, it sure was cool as HELL to be back on the show after a brief departure. You may remember that I missed a week due to work scheduling, and then the following week when Rick, Bill, Erica, and myself went to Ithaca to catch Sorrow Of Batavia with Of Wrath And Ruin, LAW, and Neon Guillotine. Great show, by the way, had a killer time! You may also remember that I'd departed the show rather abruptly the last time I was on, thanks to a strange concoction that Jeffie added to my gum. More on that later, though... Speaking of killer, we played the title track to Evile's upcoming new CD, "Five Serpents Teeth", and it was AMAZING! Can't wait for that disc to make it into my player, along with some of the other new releases we'll be looking at in upcoming weeks. September and October are going to be pretty overwhelming, and I'm lookin' forward to it! We did some heavy promotion for the slew of upcoming shows, some of which have come and gone as of this writing. Hagefest ran the entire weekend, and Rick got to host it on Saturday. I'm sure he'll have some fun stories to share on the next show. Oh, it had actually been mentioned by Jeffie that Rick should host the Hagefest naked, after taking his Viagra/Ecstacy mix. Rick declined, I'm happy to say. I'm sure Hagefest thanks him... Let's see, some of you may have checked out the return of Hate Machine, a band that I never really got to experience, to be honest. I DID get to see a version of the band that came later, when they started calling themselves Omniblank, though. Still, I'm betting that was a pretty damned good time for those who checked it out! Bill, Erica, Josh, and Joe made it to the Montage this past Saturday to see Pentagram, and feedback from them has been very positive, especially concerning openers Valent Thorr. Sadly, I had to miss out, due to my work schedule for Sunday. That's cool though, because I WAS on hand for last nights' Amon Amarth show, and it was KILLER! I don't think Water Street's gonna be the same for awhile, they may want to investigate the foundations for cracking... Got some pretty cool video from that show, which you can see on my Facebook page, as well as the Metallic Onslaught's Facebook.  You can also see them on YouTube under metalwulff, which is the channel I share with Bill. Feel free to check it out! Yep, and that was just the weekend. We've got MORE shows coming within just a few more days. Gonna be an insane week!

Anyway, moving along... I got the guys laughing over my exploits with the cable company. Seriously, have you ever attempted to discontinue a service? Now, I understand they don't want to lose customers, but quite frankly I just didn't watch enough television to warrant paying the outrageous amount this particular company wanted. Believe me, I'm quite happy with my phone and internet, not to mention my growing library of DVD titles. Not to mention I like to read! I highly doubt I'm going to have a hard time finding entertainment. But yeah, it was like pulling teeth convincing these people that I didn't need television. What got the guys laughing though, was my story of the package that was offered to me, which was better than the one I already had. Shouldn't be too hard to guess where certain minds went from there... And as I said, I may have passed up a once in a lifetime chance for a permanent upgrade... damn...