September 3, 2011 - Bleach Drinking and Sad Whales...

Recap by The Metal Wulf; 
There was plenty of new music on hand, which is always a plus. Wouldn't be much of a hard rock/heavy metal radio show if we didn't actually play music, now would it? Especially knowing that there's a whole slew of new releases arriving in the coming weeks. Lots to look forward to, and we'll be playin' it! Plenty of craziness to go around last night, as well. Josh actually impressed us for a bit as he stood up and tried to keep Tim in order. Well, you know, you shouldn't come on a radio show of this type and start singing Olivia Newton-John songs. I really can't blame Josh for getting "Physical"... Tim stated that he thought he was bleeding, at which point I asked him if he was sure it wasn't menstrual. I mean, the guy DOES like "Glee", after all... (Tim, once again, I apologize. That was a brutally low comeback, even from me! But DAMN it was funny!) Another, brief, bit of silliness occurred when I mentioned that I'd shared a fun little Facebook link that portrayed what, to me at least, is the ultimate lawn decoration. Lawn gnomes and pink flamingo statues are boring as hell, but when you make them ZOMBIE GNOMES, and they're actually EATING the flamingos, they become awesome! Hell, as great as that would be for Halloween, I'd keep them up year-round! Of course, Joe had to ask what I had against flamingos... And Josh had to mention something about the flamingos dancing flamenco-style... Yep, downhill from there!

There was some discussion regarding the State Fair. Seems I'm the only one who went this year, so it was my turn to face the ridicule. Not so much for seeing REO Speedwagon, who actually were quite good. I'd see them again, to be honest. However, I DID get busted on for just mentioning the possibility of going to see Starship. I understand the reasoning, believe me. Starship started to suck as soon as the stopped being Jefferson Starship, and got even worse with the departure of Grace Slick and Craig Chaquico. And really, the songs that were released after they became Starship? "We Built This City"? Bleah... Better off passin' that one up! I also got busted on for having my picture taken with cute sea lions. It was actually quite enjoyable. Don't know why folks don't like sea lions... Besides, they weren't letting us get out pics taken at the bear exhibit, which would have been REEEEAAAALLLY cool! Oh well... So, one more thing to mention about the fair. I don't understand it, but there's been this odd trend in recent years regarding deep-fried foods at the Fair. Literally, deep fried anything. At least it seems that way. Here are some prime examples of what I saw on menus: Deep Fried: Pickles, Oreos, Pizza, Peanut Butter And Jelly, Twix, Reese's Cups, Apple Pie, Cheese Curds, Snickers (bacon-wrapped, no less! Bleah...) among others. Seriously, I think I prefer my junk food just a little more pure than that... Oh, let's not forget the Donut Burger, because ground beef is just so much tastier on a glazed fucking donut! Mmmmmm... And of course, if you happen to look at the people lined up in front of these places, you'd b e amazed. Most are skinny as a rail, totally unexpected. Well, a few more years of that kind of cardiac abuse, and they'll be lookin' plenty different! Of course, by this point Jeffie had joined us, and he'd suggested deep-fried bacon weenie. Nobody seemed to find that appetizing for some reason...

Speaking of Jeffie, he now claims that he comes in 78 delicious flavors. Obviously, nobody was about to do a taste-test to find out... I had a lot to share with Jeffie this week. Specificallly that my doctor would love to talk to him, as well as some of his colleagues. Quite frankly, Jeffie has successfully baffled science. Here's the deal: Not only am I a clone (yeah, I know, I didn't believe it for the longest time, but apparently they did kill me that night, and Jeffie somehow made another "me"...), but it seems that he'd incorporated wolf DNA into the mix. And he did it in such a fashion that I won't experience any adverse effects until the full moon... They'd love to know how Jeffie did this, and are talking about considering him for the Nobel Prize. Yeah, it makes MY brain hurt, too... Of course, Jeffie says he has NO idea how he did it, and claims that I'm a werewolf only because he super-glued the mask to my face last week. Well, the blood work was confirmed before the gluing happened, so who can really say. Apparently I'm gonna be Wulfie for real, now. I guess we'll find out in the coming weeks...

Let's see, what else... Jeffie was on this kick about impersonating a sad whale. Okay, I admit it was just silly enough that I had to join in. We soon had the sound of a whole pod of sad whales. Bill even gave us a dose of what a sad Wookie would sound like (he does a GREAT Chewbacca impersonation!) As the eveing started to wind down, Jeffie decided to share some bleach with me, claiming that since we were both clones, we'd be fine. I really didn't believe it was bleach at first. Stupid me... Okay, so I now know what the effects of bleach drinking are on clones. You eventually become a tickle monster, and you sing bad television theme songs, and then you have Jeffie shoot little foam darts at you, from the toy machine gun he found upstairs. Or at least that's how the show ended this week...

Jorn - Road Of The Cross
Arch/Matheos - Neurotically Wired

Uncle Knucklefunk - Little Problem
House Of Lords - Blood
Opeth - Slither
Powerman 5000 - Candy-O
George Lynch - Son Of Scary

Dream Theater - On The Backs Of Angels
Hatesphere - Smell Of Death
Blind Illusion - Gargantuan
Blood Red Throne - Trapped, Terrified, Dead
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - I've Done Everything For You
Michael Schenker Group - Out In The Fields

Malformed - As The Churches Smolder
Anubis Gate - Facing Down
Divine Ascension - Guided By Osiris
Dr Sin - May The Force Be With you
We Came As Romans - A war Inside
Will Haven - Mida's Secret

Pagan's Mind - Power Of Mindscape
Kittie - Already Dead
Sebastian Bach - Dance On Your Grave
Powerman 5000 - Devil Inside
Textures - Black Horses Stampede
The Devil Wears Prada - Mammoth

Arkona - Odna
MonstrO - Solar
Rival Sons - Get Mine
Armed With Valor - I Killed The Peeping Tom
Diamond Plate - At The Mountains Of Madness
Chimaira - Born In Blood
Trivium - A Grey So Dark
Design The Skyline - Break Free From Your Life

Arch/Matheos - Any Given Day (Strangers Like Me)
Alice Cooper - I'll Bite Your Face Off
Thrashfire - Dead Collector

Jasta - The Fearless Must Endure
Trouble - Assassin
Icon In Me - Nuclear Drama
Eat The Gun - Not Dead Yet
ICS Vortex - The Sub Mariner

Last Red Ember - Dead Weight
Order Of The Dead - Bullets
Fleshgod Apocalypse - The Violation
Wayne Static - Assassins Of Youth
Warbringer - Living Weapon

Vio-Lence - Phobophobia
Mastodon - Curl Of The Burl
Machine Head - Locust

Thrashfire - Angels And Drunk Witches
Thrashfire - Death Is Near

The Movie