October 2, 2015 - Retard-O-Tron

Honestly, for the most part, this was a fairly uneventful week, and that doesn’t happen very often! Which is okay by me, because this also generally means that nobody’s at risk of getting demolished! We saw the return of Nathan, after he missed a week, which really seemed to tick Joe off. Joe seems to have taken a bit of a liking to Nathan... either that or he just enjoys having fresh blood to torment. But, who am I to say? You can be the judge of that! Nathan’s return coincided with another week where Azkath decided to subject us to yet another video full of wrongness, this one entitled “Retard-O-Tron”. Fitting, to be honest, considering the content. The worst thing about these videos is that we really can’t describe what we’re watching during talk breaks, and we end up needing an ample supply of eye bleach to cleanse ourselves after watching. Not fun. Then Nathan was actually kind enough to share some fun stories with us that, had they been filmed for posterity, may very well have been fit for inclusion on a “Retard-O-Tron” collection! But, then, who are we to judge, we’ve all done some fairly idiotic things on this show. Azkath had asked me if I’d been having any further Jeffie sightings, and as it turns out, I indeed had been. As a matter of fact, I shared one very specific example where I’d awoken during the night to find Jeffie staring down at me. This little episode startled me enough that I actually fell out of bed, bumping my head on the night stand. And when I finally got myself situated he was no longer there. This actually freaked me out quite a bit, because the locks on my door had recently been changed, and I’m the only one who currently has a key to my apartment. But, that didn’t freak me out nearly as much as getting a phone call from him during the show! Yeah, that was pretty bizarre, and nobody believed me when I said that it was Jeffie, and that he was coming to get me...

- Recap By Randy


September 25, 2015 - Magic Mushrooms

MOThere was a bit of concern in the early running regarding the absence of Nathan. We honestly didn’t know if he just wasn’t there, or if he’d gotten so skinny that we could no longer see him. It was also speculated that perhaps he was out riding Spanky, but considering his prior little adventure didn’t work out so well, I had my doubts. There was even an attempt at calling him, to no avail. I guess he just wasn’t able to join us this week!

For some odd reason, Azkath seemed to think that I’d jumped off the barn the previous week, but I had no memories of anything like that, despite some strange evidence that was found around the backyard area. A mark on the ground where I could have potentially landed...blood splotches on the stairs to the barn...and also what Joe suggested was a hole out behind the barn, but who the hell knows what that came from? Unexplainable things aside, I was actually battling a touch of the plague on this evening. Damned late summer/early autumn colds suck, but it’s to be expected, I suppose. Of course, it probably didn’t help that I’d been packed like a sardine in a sea of people at a Gwar show just a few nights prior. Go from a hot and sweaty environment like that and into the chilly night air, you’re just asking to get sick. The show itself was a blast, featuring openers Battlecross and Butcher Babies. Solid night of music from start to finish, and it was my first time actually seeing Gwar. Sad that it took me so long to have my first Gwar experience, to be honest, would have loved to have seen them while Oderus was still with us. Still, the current lineup is pretty amazing, and the show itself was the most over the top night of craziness I’ve ever experienced. And yeah, I was close enough to get a full-on drenching, I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Anyhow, Azkath decided that feeding me some of the enormous mushrooms that are growing in his lawn might make me feel better. I really didn’t see where this was a good idea, but before I knew it, there were mushrooms being shoved into my mouth, and I found myself swallowing them. It wasn’t long before my skin started turning fuschia and my hands began to blister. Then the chills started...and the much vomit... And it wasn’t like a regular session of puking. This was turbo-projectile puking. And also highly acidic, as it began eating through the grass...and the trees...not to mention my leg. And, oh yeah, one particularly large blast caught Josh full on, eating through his clothing, forcing him to remove every stitch that he was wearing. Azkath, being the standup guy that he is, found some old Worm shirts for Josh to cover himself in. Which is cool, because those things have been sitting around for ages. Nice to have found a use for them! Everything else after that kinda becomes a blur, though. I just remember becoming progressively more and more sick as the evening went on...and it’s all a blank after that. Still, once again, it must not have been so bad if I’m able to sit here and type this out now!

-Metal Wulf


September 18, 2015 - Jumping off the Barn Happy Fun Time Show!

JoshandNathanThis show came along following the End Of Summer Metal Meltdown in Clyde, NY. Happy to say it was a solid event, with a great turnout, which really comes as no surprise, considering the fan base in our area. Always good to see people coming together to support local music!

Josh and I had been sharing out some Archway cookies on this evening, although Nathan seemed to be feeling guilty about indulging himself. Honestly, considering that he weighs less than 50 pounds and could potentially get blown all the way to Oz in a stiff breeze, I don't think a few cookies were going to really be a problem for our Brony friend. Joe did take a bit of offense when Nathan started eyeing his cherry pie, even making the obvious Warrant reference. Joe wasn't havin' it, though, and suggested that perhaps Nathan could eat the it turns out, this was likely one of the dirtiest double-entendres in Metallic Onslaught history. Pretty sure none of us have a problem eating the box, Joe!

We were actually a little concerned about Nathan's well-being, considering all the damage he'd been put through in recent weeks. I mean, between getting Spanky's horn rammed up his ass (yes, it's confirmed, that horn went straight into the ol' starfish...), and then all the punishment we'd dealt him the prior week, well, it's only natural that the guy may not have been feeling up to snuff. I think we all felt bad for an entire two minutes, and then got on with the show...

Somehow Babymetal got mentioned, and we were reminded that Joe has still not been exposed to them. Luckily, Josh is almost never without his laptop, so we found some YouTube content. Sadly, the video just sat there buffering, so Joe was unable to take in said YouTube content. Which is a shame, because love 'em or hate 'em, you really need to see it to fully appreciate it.

Azkath had gotten it into his head that I would show my skills as a stuntman on this evening by throwing myself off the top of the barn. As a matter of fact, the way he put it was that we were going to have "Shove-You-Off-The-Roof-Happy-Fun-Time". I think it should go without saying that I wasn't buying it for a second. Oddly enough, and I don't remember how this happened, I ended up taking a warm-up plunge from the roof of our current recording space. I believe I ended up landing on a metal table, and was pretty sure I'd broken a number of bones. In fact, my right arm in particular seemed to have been damaged horrifically...yet I was in no pain. In fact, it was only a short time before it seemed like the arm was completely healed! Weird how that happens...but not as weird as Azkath's suggestion that perhaps the pain was a figment of my imagination. He, in fact, went so far as to suggest that perhaps they were all figments of my imagination...which is just silly...

As for the barn, I swore up and down all night that there was going to be absolutely NO jumping off. I mean, not only is it one hell of a climb to the top of that damned thing, but there are also numerous coyotes roaming about Azkath's domain, and rumor has it that they've somehow been acquiring meth. Now, I don't know about you, but climbing to the top of a barn while meth coyotes are nipping at my heels is NOT my idea of a good time! And this is where I things get weird again...I have vague memories of being on top of the barn, but no idea how I got up there. Thankfully, I don't remember seeing any meth coyotes...yet, I do seem to remember falling and hitting some steps...and then...nothing...

Yet, here I am, typing this recap, so maybe it really was all a figment of my imagination!

- Metal Wulf


September 11, 2015 - Nathan Abuse

MOWe had David Henninger join us this week for a bit of last-minute promoting for the End Of Summer Metal Meltdown show at Donselaar's in Clyde, NY. This show was actually considered to be a "part 2" to Finger Lakes Metal Fest, and featured a solid lineup of ten local bands. All said and done, it was a great way to cap the summer off!

I got my balls busted a bit for taking in a Salt N' Pepa performance while visiting the NY State Fair. As a matter of fact, Azkath suggested that I may have outdone myself, having seen a potentially worse show than Jackyl five years ago. Truth is, my girlfriend and I were enjoying a bit of lunch in the vicinity of Chevy Court (where the show took place), and we decided to check it out for a bit...and ended up watching the whole thing! Okay, so it ain't metal. Truth is, I'm not the only person on the Metallic Onslaught who's been to a hip-hop show, and Salt N' Pepa actually came from a time frame where I didn't really dislike that kind of least, not as much as I do these days. But, in all honesty, Rick and Josh have been to hip-hop shows that could be considered to measure higher on the bad-ass scale, such as Snoop Dogg, Wu Tang Clan, Ice Cube, Public Enemy...and by comparison... I saw Salt N' Pepa... Okay, so maybe I deserved that ball-busting just a was still a fun way to kill an hour at the fair!

Nathan returned once again. In the days following his previous visit, he'd actually posted a photo of him on his bathroom scales, with the weight showing 131 pounds. We all called shenanigans, of course, because those could have been anybodys feet showing in that pic. Besides, I'm still pretty convinced that Nathan might weigh about 57 pounds right before a good dump... Truth be told, we like Nathan. It's always good to have fresh blood on the show. As a matter of fact, we all took turns attempting to spill some of that blood throughout the evening! In all honesty, Nathan HAS stated that he'd like to be put through a table, so it's not like he's an unwilling participant! I can't remember specifically how it all began, but Joe decided that he really wanted to superkick Nathan out of his chair, which he did...TWICE! This led to a demonstration of Josh's mastery of Air-Fu (it's a sight to see, lemme tell ya!), and I was able to get an Atomic Drop on the little guy in the early going. Good thing for Nathan there was a nice, cushiony leather couch set up near the barn for us to throw him into! Things got a little weird after a bit, though. As the abuse continued, I felt compelled to protect Nathan. Every time somebody went to take a shot at him, I'd have to intervene. This was an insane contradiction, as I genuinely wanted to take part in the abuse, but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to lift a finger against him. I just wanted to continue stopping everybody else. And then things got stranger, because no matter how badly I wanted to protect Nathan, I couldn't interfere with anything Azkath was doing! My brain's hurting just thinking about the moral dilemmma. I mean, look at it this way. I WANTED to hurt Nathan...but I couldn't! I felt compelled to protect Nathan...but I couldn't, at least not from Azkath. Before the night was over, though, things seemed to balance themselves out once again, and I was able to body slam Nathan onto the couch and follow it up with a couple of splashes. We all got in on it, actually, with the worst possibly coming from Rick, who chokeslammed out little Brony onto the couch. Yes, I'd say that Nathan has been well and truly initiated into the fold.

- Metal Wulf


September 4, 2015 - Nathan Returns

MOWe were visited once again by Nathan Bobbett, who shared some Brony-Con stories with us, probably the most amusing of which was how there was a noticeable lack of heavy metal music. This forced him to take breaks in his hotel room to get his fix of brutality. Nathan claimed, on this evening, to be approximately 134 pounds, but we weren't convinced. Azkath is pretty sure he's doing what some professional wrestlers do, exaggerating his weight to appear heavier than he really is...which is approximately 55 pounds soaking wet...give or take. He also got to finally meet Spanky, which is only fair as he was the one to...ummmm...father our centaur/unicorn...thing. Nathan was almost immediately scooped up by Spanky's horn, possibly getting his rectal cavity ruptured. Spanky tossed Nathan on his back before darting off for a run through the nearby woods. The sound of clopping hooves and agonzed screams filled the countryside.

I had some Jeffie sightings throughout the evening, usually when I stepped out among the trees to pee. Nobody else has seen him, and Azkath insists that there have been no signs of Jeffie being back among us. My argument to that, of course, is that if Jeffies' ghost is haunting me, there wouldn't be any physical evidence to be found. I was so afraid to urinate at one point that Azkath and Josh joined me, just for company's sake. Of course, they took that opportunity to taunt me, actually frightening me in the process...causing me to pee on myself. Never a fun time... I got so frightened that I actually ran deeper among the trees...and then lost track of things, waking up to find myself tied to a chair in the barn, where Azkath found me. And, now Azkath seems to think I did this to myself, and doesn't believe for a moment that Jeffie is actually haunting me, which is utterly ridiculous...but it's a bit hard to prove that I'm actually on the level. What can I say? Hopefully time will tell!

-Metal Wulf


August 28, 2015 - Is Randy Being Haunted?

It seems that Azkath has found yet another table by the roadside, and is itching to put somebody (me) through it. He seemed sincerely disappointed, in fact, when he asked if I'd been smoking recently, and I responded with "No". To his advantage, it seems that our occasional visitor, Nathan (aka The Brony), actually WANTS to be put through a table! Problem solved, right? Perhaps not... You see, Nathan weighs about 70 pounds soaking wet, and would probably just bounce off anything made from something heavier than balsa wood. Worse case scenario, he'd snap like a twig, and we really don't want that to happen. So, we spent a bit of time discussing ways we could put Nathan through a table without completely destroying him. It was even suggested that I could be the one to put him through the table. Obviously moonsaults and senton bombs are out of the question... I actually suggested elbow dropping him, or perhaps leg dropping. Splashing him would probably kill the guy, so that's a no-go. Of course, the problem of getting me on a surface high enough to pull this off came up. As Azkath put it, most of my springs are pretty much shot. Still, If I got two or three rungs up on a ladder, I think I could effectively get him through with an elbow drop. I mean, if that's what he really wants...

The topic of Century Media's acquistion by Sony came up. Overall, the general consensus seems to be that it may not be such a great idea. I mean, Century is pretty much a giant when it comes to indie labels, and while I'm sure the move was more than financially lucrative, in the long run it will likely be the bands that suffer. Still, there's no saying another label won't rise up to fill that void. Time will tell!

Another debate centered around weather patterns in our area. Granted, we've had our share of brutally hot days, but the point I was trying to make was that Summer weather seemed a bit late in arriving. It just seemed to me that we had a bit of an extended Spring, followed by monsoon season (so much more rain than sun for a good stretch...), followed by the arrival of actual Summer around mid-July. Honestly, I've been saying for years that central New York weather is more or less a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down... For the record, though, the days where it's in the low 80's, with low humidity, are just about perfect. For me, the suffering doesn't begin until the humidity goes over 60%, and the temperatures spike at 90 or above.

We played a new Iron Maiden track, "Speed Of Light", from the new album The Book Of Souls, which is now available as of this writing! General consensus...the track is okay, but not among their best songs. Honestly, the video is actually cooler than the song. This actually led to the question of when Josh (probably the biggest Iron Maiden fan on the planet) started listening to Maiden. Seems that Josh started getting into them during the time that Blayze Bailey was replacing Bruce Dickinson on vocals. I should note that for many, this is widely considered Iron Maiden at it's lowest point. Not that Blayze is a terrible vocalist. In all honesty, while those two albums he was on will never be among my favorites, there ARE actually songs on them that I liked...not many, but a handful. And, if you take the time to peek at YouTube to listen to Blayze singing some of the Paul DiAnno-era Maiden tracks, he actually sounds quite good singing those songs. But...he just couldn't cut it when it came to singing the Bruce Dickinson-era songs. And let's face it, not many people could have possibly filled those shoes. The important thing here is that Josh got into Iron Maiden and liked them enough that he visited the back catalog, thereby discovering the band at it's best. Which is as it should be!

The last item of note that I'll be bringing up this week is that I'm pretty sure Jeffie's ghost is haunting me. It's been a couple months since I killed the last one, and Azkath insists that he hasn't cloned anymore, because it's too much of a hassle, especially when we keep killing them off. But, seriously, I've had moments where I've looked out the window of my second story apartment and seen him on the sidewalk, just staring up at me. And I've also gotten phone calls that consist of nothing but laughing and giggling that sounds way too much like Jeffie to be anybody else. And, yeah, considering that Jeffies started out as faulty clones of Azkath, it would be really easy for him to PRETEND to be Jeffie, just to bust my balls. And this is something he absolutely WOULD do...except, he insists that it isn't him, and I believe him. Honestly, the guy's way too damned busy to resort to such methods.

- Metal Wulf


August 21, 2015 - Tim Binder Visits

We spent a good portion of the evening discussing some old Metallic Onslaught playlists that Joe had come across. These dated back to roughly 1999 or so, and featured music from local favorite Hate Machine, not to mention Filter, Sevendust, the Go-Go's... Yes, you read that right. Apparently Joe was fond at one point of playing something not even remotely heavy, and then killing that track with something brutal. In this case, The Go-Go's were followed by a track from Mortician. Kinda fitting! And it sounds like something we should bring back from time to time, just for shits and giggles. Azkath also had one of his Last Exit For The Metallic Onslaught "Best Of" DVD's playing in the background, so there was a bit of commentary regarding some of the bygone days of both shows.

Rick had brought up our journey to The Lost Horizon in Syracuse to see High On Fire, which was an amazing show. We only caught a little of the first band, Venomous Maximus, but we liked what we heard. Lucifer were incredible, a very pleasant surprise, as I wasn't familiar with their material at all. Highly impressed with that band! Pallbearer were a bit of a letdown, only because their forty-minute set really didn't offer a lot of variety in tempo. Slow, trudging, doomy as hell (this is a good thing!), but really not overly distinguishable from track to track. What can I say about High On Fire? This was my second time seeing them, and they are the real fucking deal. One of the loudest, genuinely heavy bands out there. They are absolutely crushing live, and I recommend the fuck out of them. 'Nuff said!

Our old friend Tim Binder had come out to join us this evening, actually the first time he'd paid a visit to the Onslaught since our final night at the old studio, all the way back in July of 2014. This was actually the night when Jeffie had offered Tim some "goodies" that had been acquired at Grassroots Fest in Trumansburg. Tim started flipping out, thinking Jeffie was a monster, and had attempted to kill Jeffie. I actually took responsibility for that kill before it was all said and done. Anyhow, we were pleased as hell that Tim had come out to join us that night...right up to the point where he mentioned the Savatage/Tran Siberian Orchestra performances at Wacken. Don't get me wrong, Tim loves Savatage, but seems to hate TSO, even going so far to say that they shouldn't have played at Wacken at all. Now, we're all pretty open-minded, and we all pretty much realize that not all of our musical tastes are compatible. this regard, Joe and I took strong offense. As a matter of fact, Tim ended up getting temporarily banned from the show by Joe. Ultimately, we let him back in, though. I mean, we kinda had to. He'd parked in a particularly soggy part of Azkath's driveway, and his car had sunk so far down that it was irretrievable. I'm sure things worked out well, in the long run, though, as I called Spanky over to give Tim a ride back to Canandaigua. At least, I assume Tim made it back okay...

Azkath brought up a little game they'd played on the previous edition of The Last Exit For The Lost, encouraging us all to share our earliest memories. Now, that's really not easy for me to do, because I remember quite a ways back, but it's hard for me to place events in the proper continuity. With that being said, Josh told us how he'd swallowed a penny at the age of four, and his dad going nuclear. On the plus side, it seems that everything came out alright in the end, pun totally intended. In fact, Joe even went so far as to ask Josh if he'd kept the Poop Penny... I was actually able to recall three early memories, the first being the time I broke my left arm. I was roughly three or four, and fell while stepping out of a wading pool at my grandparents old home in Fairville, NY. I'd been carrying a plastic fish that had filled up partially with water, lost my balance while carrying it as I exited the pool, and came down on the arm, resulting in a compound fracture...and a really frightening experience for a youngster of that age group! Seriously, I distincly remember screaming in horror while being x-rayed! There were a couple others I recalled, but I won't go into further detail here. Rick recalled a time when he'd bounced a padlock off the head of a classmate who'd tried to pick a fight with him...and then shared a particularly funny memory that involved him taking bites out of a pig's head (it was cooked!), and spitting the pieces out at people in the crowd. And, hey, if that's not metal, I don't know what the fuck is! Joe had the most difficulty really coming up with anything. We ended up using his first time hearing KISS or first time seeing Star Wars as reference points. He finally did recall a fairly early memory of getting pulled out by a riptide while visiting Florida. Azkath also recalled getting pulled under by a wave while visiting Long Island sound. Actually, it's kinda interesting how some of our earliest memories are of scary encounters in the water! Just serves to remind us that nature is VERY deserving of our respect!

-Metal Wulf


August 14, 2015 - Joe Quits.

We had to bust Josh's balls just a little bit, as his computer seemed to be stuck on 80's music that night...and not particularly good 80's music, either. In fact, you could hear A-Ha's "Take On Me" in the background during one of our final talk breaks of the evening. Still, it could be could have been Bon Jovi. Which brings me up to what was probably the main topic of the evening. This actually requires a bit of background to explain, so here goes. Josh LOVES Iron Maiden. We know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. To one degree or other, we all like Iron Maiden...except for Joe, who no longer cares for anything past the Paul Di'Anno years. Joe and I also love KISS, which isn't so surprising, considering the time frame that we grew up in. We've had some fairly intense differences of opinion regarding where we stand when it comes to both bands, mainly because Josh has, for the most part, claimed to love everything that Maiden has ever done. Joe has actually accused Josh on more than one occasion of being a total shill for Iron Maiden. He just doesn't seem to be willing to admit that they have, indeed, released some stinkers in their time. And, in all fairness, most bands have done so. Something that Joe and I are more than willing to confess to when it comes to KISS. Cases in point being the entire Unmasked album (piece of shit, there is absolutely no redeeming or forgiving that album, especially the track "Shandi"...), anything in the 80's that came after Lick It Up (although Animalize had a few decent tracks), and Psycho Circus (aside from the title track, I thought it was the worst comeback album in history). Joe and I are willing to admit that those albums actually suck, to one degree or other. So, imagine our surprise when the discussion actually made it to the airwaves, and Josh actually admitted that he hates ONE Iron Maiden album! No Prayer For The Dying, to be precise! And the craziest thing about the whole discussion was Joe's reaction...he quit the show and made me the host! Yep, Joe was so shocked by Josh's statement that he seemed to feel that he couldn't continue as host, handed me the mic, and told me I was in charge! Kinda caught me off guard, to be honest!

Of course, this almost traumatized Josh and Rick, as their biggest fears were suddenly realized. That being that I would make the show one big Jackyl-fest. Now, I like Jackyl, I really do, but I also know that they're not the greatest fit for our show. So, rest assured, should I really ever take over the hosting duties, there will be no Bon fucking Winger, as I hate them more than any other band on the planet. No disrespect to Kip Winger, in all honesty, I just thoroughly detested their music. But, it's really not that big a deal, as Josh actually retracted his statement in order to get Joe back in the hosting seat, so to speak.

Azkath joined us about mid-show, asking how I was feeling after the previous week when he beaned me in the head with a large ceramic flower pot. I'm actually doing pretty well, thanks to the ol' clone-healing thing I've got going on, but I still get a little confused. But, that could just be me, naturally. Not gonna deny it! Azkath also wanted to know how things were going with Spanky, and wanted to know when I was going to let him move in. I reminded him that he has, in the past, seen my apartment. There is NO ROOM for a mutant unicorn/centaur at all, and I sure wouldn't be able to corral him in the back yard. Besides, train tracks run behind my building, and I think that would terrify him.
Still...I could make a little money offering rides to the neighborhood children...hmmmm...

-Metal Wulf


August 7, 2015 - Randy and the Pot

The PotWell, imagine our surprise this week when Josh actually took initiative during the first talk break, completely taking us off goard when he started introducing himself before Joe even began speaking! Honestly...this isn't like Josh at all. We really did NOT know what to make of it! We spent some time in the early potion of the show talking about the Gutted Alive CD release that we emceed at the Montage Music Hall in Rochester. It was a pretty spectacular night, with an exceptional turnout for a local band, which is always a great thing to see! Josh was particularly taken with Tyranitar, which was really no big surprise, as he's a big fan of the pagan/viking metal. Gotta say, one of the highlights of Gutted Alive's set was their performance of "Necrophiliac Chainsaw Rapist", featuring clowns...with chainsaws! And lots of smoke, courtesy of the diesel fuel powering said chainsaws. As a matter of fact, I had to step away from the stage for a bit, because that smoke started making me feel a bit nauseous... All in good fun, though! Joe seems to think that I'd taken that moment to take a run to Canandaigua to see Bran Adams, who was performing there while we were in Rochester. I had to continually assure everybody throughout the evening that I actually can't stand Bryan Adams. Although, I will admit to liking his music over Bon Jovi any day. Still...not a big fan. I mean, really, who cares what he was doing back in the summer of '69? I was three freakin' years old, for fucks sake... We'd also discussed a historical performance that took place at Wacken Open Air the previous week. One of those things that remind me that I live in the wrong part of the fucking world when it comes to my musical tastes. Nothing like this could ever happen in the states, let's face it. So, here's the deal. Tran Siberian Orchestra performed for what I'm pretty sure was their first time at Wacken. They did a 45-minute set, followed by a much-anticipated 45-minute set from Savatage, who hadn't played Wacken in over ten years. What followed was apparently nothing short of spectacular, as BOTH bands, who were performing side by side on two adjacent stages, performed ANOTHER set of music featuring material from both bands. Here's to hoping that all of it gets released in a CD/DVD format for the rest of the metal world to enjoy!

And, offsetting that awesomeness, we also discussed the sad passing of WWE Legend, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. We are all, to one degree or another, fans of wrestling on this show, and I know that I, for one, was, and always will be, a huge Piper fan. There will never be another like him!

Azkath arrived with plans of continuing my smoking punishment, as Joe had said the previous week that going through another table wasn't enough, and there had to be more. More turned out to be a heavy ceramic flower pot to the head. Luckily, my head turned out to be harder than the pot, so it was only the pot that shattered into a million pieces. I was, however, knocked completely loopy for the rest of the show. Actually, I was out cold for a bit. I actually awoke to the sensation of water pouring on my head. At least I sure hope it was water, considering who it was that was bringing me back to consciousness. Yeah, we'd gotten a visit from my spawn...who has apparently been dubbed "Spanky The Wonder Horse". Spanky was nice enough to give me a ride around the property for a bit as I somewhat regained my senses. I was actually concussed enough that I wasn't even sure that I was really riding the unicorn/centaur-...thing... Azkath had actually been remarking about how big he's gotten in the weeks since his birth, and suggested that we may have to take measures to keep him from breeding with the farm animals that live across the road. Which, let's face it, may be for the better in the long run. I'd rather not have any muitant grandchildren trotting around the area...

- Metal Wulf


July 31, 2015 - Randy Goes Through Another Table

AftermathStarted this show off by affirming that Jeffie was, indeed, still dead. It's good to start things on a positive note!

We'd mentioned that as this show was being broadcast, we were actually in attendance at the Gutted Alive CD release show at the Montage Music Hall in Rochester, NY. We'd been invited up to emcee the show, and we had a blast! Like there was any doubt... Speaking of shows, we'll be hosting the End Of Summer Metal Meltdown in Clyde, NY, once agan to be held at Donselaar's! Free show, all ages, and ten bands. The lineup, as it stands, features Nazgul, Skinbound, Divinex, Ire Clad, Age Of Shadows, Never The Voiceless, Spit Nickels, Saints And Winos, Ruination, and Million Miles From Broadway. Hope to see a bunch of our local metal family in attendance!

Josh was wearing an Eagles t-shirt on this evening, although he was still trying to convince us he'd gone to see Deep Purple. I mean, the shirt even had wings on it! Had to have been The Eagles! Josh has actually sworn vengeance on Jeffie for this continuing debacle, as it was Jeffie who had mentioned that Josh had actually gone to see The Eagles. Of course, that's going to be a bit difficult until Azkath clones another Jeffie to unleash upon us. And, to be honest, I have my reservations about punishing a new Jeffie for the actions of a previous one. I mean, will it really be right to hold the new Jeffie accountable for what the old one did? I guess we'll find out!

On a less upbeat note, I was subjected to another beating for falling off of the tobacco wagon again. I guess even being an occasional social smoker is going to have it's consequences, and I was once again dropped through a table...with Azkath taking a running start and leaping from a chair, effectively putting us BOTH through... I'm happy to say that I came through with just some very minor scrapes, and absolutely no desire to light up any time soon!

-Metal Wulf