April 29, 2016 - The Cursed Pig Head

So, we kicked the show off by announcing that KnownAsJosh is officially engaged to his little lady, Stephanie. We’re actually very happy for them, and wish them the best. It also means that we may have to have a bachelor party broadcast sometime down the road here. Or not...fun idea, though!
We also announced that we will have new t-shirts available for sale at Finger Lakes Metal Fest. Been about three years since we had a new shirt design, and we’d like to thank Nikki Reese for her artwork contribution, ‘cuz it’s pretty bad-ass!
Let’s see, what else...
This week’s Racist Randy was slightly less of a waste of airtime than previous weeks, mainly because I got to spout off about how much I hate Jeffies. Yes, I actually admitted to being a Jeffie-ist, as did Joe and KnownAsJosh. This also led to a discussion involving our upcoming Three Stages Of Hell Death Match, where I’m going to destroy Jeffie twice, and hopefully talk Azkath into not making anymore. Joe mentioned that he’d like to see Leatherface get involved, but he was actually talking about a wrestler famous for his work in one of the Japanese promotions. Funny how things come back to wrestling on this show...kinda like Ames...
Jeffie had handed me a gift from Azkath, and I’ve gotta admit that I was really worried when he asked me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. Honestly, I had to confirm that he hadn’t been unzipping his pants when he made that request. You just never know with Jeffie...
But, as it turned out, this gift was a little ceramic pig, and there was a very strange story behind its’ origins. It seems that Azkath had burned a brush pile, and the next day the ceramic pig was sitting in the middle of the circle of ashes. It had NOT been there the prior day. Or so Jeffie says. I’m sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation. Jeffie doesn’t seem to believe so, though, even going so far as to suggest that it was actually a cursed object, gifted upon me by the Elder Things that reside in the back fields out behind Azkath’s place. Obviously I’m not buying any of this, and have actually taken the time to give the little fella a nice paint job.
Cursed object, what a crock...
We also mentioned that No Pants Day was only a week away. Rick actually expressed gratitude that he wouldn’t be in attendance for this, as he’ll be seeing Soulfly in Rochester that night.
For those unfamiliar with this tradition (which we totally stole, and improved upon!), the first Friday in May we celebrate this silly day. Pants are optional. Now, this doesn’t mean we have to run around in our underwear, but that is usually exactly what happens...that, or worse. I have actually, in recent years, been the guy who’s completely ruined No Pants Day for all involved. Don’t believe me? Go to our YouTube page and check out some of the fun. This will actually be the first celebration of No Pants Day in our new digs, as last year we took the festivities to The Last Exit For The Lost, much to the dismay of all in attendance that night.
Speaking of dismay, Jeffie had mentioned wanting to make sure he trimmed his pubes beforehand. Obviously this was a topic of discussion we didn’t care to pursue, especially when he took it a step further and suggested that maybe he’d plant his pubes to see if more Jeffies grew out of them. Yeah, how’s THAT for a visual...
In the long run, though, I had a far more disturbing visual for everybody, as I made the official announcement that, this year, on No Pants Day, I would be going Full Monty. Yep, you read that right, I am goin’ commando this year, because after everything I’ve done in previous years, there is no other way for me to possibly top myself. I apologize in advance, but this year, Wulfie’s gettin’ nekkid!
We ended the evening on a somewhat high note when Joe revealed that he’d paid a visit to Cyberdyne labs, where he was outfitted with a new metal arm and hand. The hand even shoots away from the arm, which he promptly demonstrated by zeroing in on Jeffie’s head...and my groin.
I’ve gotta get me one of those before the Death Match...