December 17, 2011 - Xmas Show

Recap written by Randy Smith, aka MetalWulf

Disclaimer: I would like to note that at no point in my life have I ever taken part in anything that resembled "Roller Boogie", and have never had anything remotely resembling an afro. I hated Solid Gold, and thought Deney Terrio was a pussy. Thank you very much... Due to the fact that next week's edition of The Metallic Onslaught is going to be pre-recorded, we celebrated Christmas on the show last night. In fact, I had it on good faith that a visit from Satan Claus was imminent. C'mon, do you honestly think the guy wouldn't eventually show up, after being discussed on the show for who knows how long? More on that in a bit!

There was another episode of Stryper denial on my part, as Joe passed along news that he'd seen one of their posters at a local thrift shop. Honestly, not interested, but I can say that until I'm blue in the face, and I'll still got ragged on for actually going to see them live way back when. Trust me, I'm well aware that I'll never be able to live that down. Still, in the interest of making a dart board, I may just invest in that damned poster, anyway...

Metallica had dropped a new 4-song EP earlier in the week called Beyond Magnetic. In a nutshell, they're all songs that didn't quite make the cut for the Death Magnetic album. After hearing "Rebel Of Babylon"  played last night, I can kind of understand why these songs were put on the backburner. I mean, the song wasn't terrible, but it didn't exactly floor me, either. It's honestly been many years since I can honestly say that I've been floored by anything Metallica has done...
Ironically, the newest Megadeth disc HAS floored me. Kinda says something, doesn't it?

Tim Binder is back in the area, visiting family and friends for the holidays. Always cool to have Tim hanging out with us, but isn't it kind of strange that when he visits, our metal cred kinda goes through the floor? Don't get me wrong, Tim genuinely loves metal, but he likes a lot of other stuff as well. I mean, not that diversity is a bad thing, but Janet Jackson? Okay, maybe "Black Cat" wasn't so bad, but...c'mon... And then he turned around and started playing some Hall & Oates on his laptop! I'm cringing as I type this, believe me! Of course, it didn't seem to help matters when I admitted a  modicum of respect for the band Men At Work. Okay, they'll never be one of my favorite bands, but they stood out from a lot of the shit that was on MTV at the time. Really, if you were around at the time, just think of some of the utter crap that got played back then. Of course, defending and showing support for these artists got Tim and I banned for life, so technically he and I aren't even allowed back on the show. (Joe will NEVER remember this, though, so I can pretty well guarantee that we'll be back in two weeks!) I'd actually brought up, in mine and Tim's defenses, that we all probably have dirty little musical secrets that we wouldn't necessarily want the rest of the world to know about. Hell, I now know for a fact what one of Josh's secret favorites is. I'll hold that bit of info for blackmail purposes, though. Never know when tidbits like that could come in handy. That discussion of lameness actually sparked further talk, focusing on bad 45's we had when we were younger. To be honest, I don't remember owning many 45's, although I confessed that the first one I owned, at roughly age 4 or 5, was "Rubber Ducky". Joe didn't seem too pleased when I mentioned that he'd probably had 45's of The Banana Splits and The Bay City Rollers... The midnight hour was approaching, so it was time for me to make some preparations. You see, it's kinda like this. Satan Claus doesn't have a physical form. Being a demonic anti-Christmas spirit, he needed to...ummmm...possess me, so to speak... That, and he NEVER arrives before the Witching Hour. Don't know why this is, though. I think he just gets off on the drama...

Overall, it was a strange experience, really, not sure I'd like to go through that again. Of course, should he want to return (and he probably will...) it's completely feasible that he could take over somebody else next year! But, yeah, he showed up, and seemed a little puzzled over Azkath's lack of faith in anything holiday related. Seriously, here's a guy who, to the best of my knowledge, arrives the day AFTER Christmas to take toys back from bad children who didn't really deserve them, or anyone who generally just messed up big-time on Christmas day. Oh, he also thrives on everybody's holiday stress. Take it from me, he gets a HUGE kick out of all that! Anyhoo, Satan Claus demanded that somebody give Azkath something for the holidays, so he could take it back. Seemed really insistent about that... Now, bear in mind that while my consciousness was tucked away while Satan Claus was in charge, I was still perfectly aware of what everybody was saying. Yep, heard every word, and you can imagine my frustration upon hearing that the guys thought Satan Claus was cooler than me! Damn... All told, our demonic visitor couldn't stay for long, and whether the rest of the crew liked it or not, I was put back in control of my...self... Probably not going to do that again any time soon, to be honest...

Redemption - Love To Love
Riot - Black Leather And Glittering Steel
Anubis Gate - Facing Dawn
Isole - Born From Shadows

Midnight Chaser - Dynamite
Mastodon - Octopus Has No Friends
Sulaco - Dingy Metropolis
King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas
Megadeth - Sudden Death

Metallica - Rebel Of Babylon
Possessed - Death Metal
Krisiun - The Extremist
Laestrygonia - The Grizzly
Lamb Of God - Ghost Walking

Morbid Angel - God Of Emptiness
Eat A Helicopter - Sluggard (Infected With Life)
Thousand Year War - Spartacus
Mortal Sin - Deny
Vektor - Venus Project

My Ruin - Highly Explosive
Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Wizards In Winter
Bob Rivers - I Am santa Claus
Saxon - Crusader
Hellcannon - Chainsaw Ripping Death
Carnifex - Dead But Dreaming
Austrian Death Machine - Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies

Vio-Lence - Phobophobia
Benediction - Artefacted/Spit Forth
Flotsam And Jetsam - I Live You Die
Judas Priest - Desert Plains
Halford - We Three Kings

Argus - Pieces Of Your Smile
Opeth - Famine
Slash - Nothing To Say
Beehler - Kill The Witch
Terminate - Rotten Dead Mass

Machine Head - Blood For Blood
Kreator - Betrayer
Worm Quartet - A Worm Quartet Christmas
Where She Wept - A Dangerous Neglect
OZ - Turn The Cross Upside Down

Queens Of The Stone Age - No One Knows
Black Sabbath - Voodoo