Seriah Azkath

March 3, 2012 - Muscle Marcos from 2CW

Muscle Marcos, a wrestler for 2CW, that has visited the show before, returns and Jeffie asks him to train him...

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Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Iron Mask - Genghis Khan
Mr. Big - Around The World
Black Sabbath - After All (The Dead)
Church Of Misery - Cities On Flame

Pilgrim - Quest
Lamb Of God - Straight For The Sun
Lamb Of God - Desolation
Savage Grace - Fight For Your Life

Epica - Storm The Sorrow
Astra - Barefoot In The Head
OSI - Wind Won't Howl
Sigh - Far Beneath The In-Between

Hammer Horde - Oathkeeper
Cannibal Corpse - Intestinal Crank
Suicidal Angels - Legacy Of Pain
Break Of Reality - The Day That Never Comes

Neothiest - Darkness Remains
Everytime I Die - Underwater Bimbos From Outer Space
Faith Or Fear - Bloodbath
Powergod - Kill With Power
Q5 - Pull The Trigger
Asphyx - The Flood

Xandria - Soulcrusher
Diabulus In Musica - Shadow Of The Throne
Dead By Wednesday - Peaches
Wykked Wytch - Abolish The Weak
Zombie Inc. - Bloodrain Overdose
Dismemberment - Perpetual Malice

Opera Diabolicus - The 13th Guest
Assassin - Assassin
Kreator - Pleasure To Kill
Doomsday Mourning - Culture Of Corruption
Avatar - Napalm

Orange Goblin - Save Me From Myself
Eluveitie - The Siege
Combat - Age Of Discord
Goatwhore - When Steel And Bone Meet
Mustasch - The Challenger
Corrosion Of Conformity - River Of Stone

Pallbearer - An Offering Of Grief
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Squared Circle Wrestling (2CW) performer, Muscle Marcos, joined us in the studio for a good portion of the evening. Seems that Marcos is no stranger to The Metallic Onslaught, but it had been quite some time since he'd dropped by for a visit. He was more than happy to bring us all up to speed, though. As previously mentioned, there was a 2CW event held at Suzy's Tavern in Auburn last Saturday night, and I'm glad to say that Joe, Lance, and myself all made it out enjoy it. Marcos had a match with former (WWE-era) ECW wrestler, Colin Delaney. Happy to say they had themselves a pretty solid match, although I hardly recognized Delaney. He's come along a bit from that skinny, pimply, somewhat dorky guy that was getting annihilated from one week to the next on ECW. Also cool to see former WWE Superstar Carlito in a match, not to mention familiar faces like Dewey Murray and Superbeast (who we'd all seen perform with UWF in the past). All in all, it was a fun night, and I'm looking forward to a return engagement, possibly in a slightly more accomodating venue!



Much to our surprise, NeoTheist's Matt Greenwood dropped by just to hang out, which was cool as hell of him. Seriously, if prior guests want to hang with us, they're generally more than welcome, never been a problem! Let's see, what else transpired...?

There was a brief discussion regarding No Pants Day again. Hey, like I've said before, it's approaching that time, like it or not, with just a couple of months to go. Seriously, though, I'd mentioned some plans I have for that evening, which, understandably, made everybody a little nervous. Now, I know everybody involved (especially those who were present last year...) have no reason to trust me, but I honestly have a fun little idea that shouldn't be even the least bit truamatizing...well, maybe a liittle...I mean, it really depends on your level of tolerance...hmmmm...

Honestly, there is no way I can make it any worse than last year without getting us booted off the air, and that is NOT going to happen! Trust me when I say that I have a fun idea that may not even transpire! I assure everybody that, if I can pull this off, it won't be anywhere near as horrific as last year's escapades!

Jeffie had a very bad night. I mean, it got about as bad as it can get for a Jeffie unit, and that means that by the end of the night, he was dead...

Hey, the guy NEVER learns, as I've mentioned (see previous recaps and my "Full-Circle Learning Curve Theory..."). Between tickling Josh, bothering Raven for her Tazer, annoying Marcos, and throwing my fedora on the floor before kicking it around the studio, the guy really did have some punishment coming. And I'm pretty sure he was tanked on bleach again...

We all got in on the beatdown action throughout the evening, with me attempting to put his head through a door before putting him in a sleeper, and Marcos clobbering him with his Shake Weight (yes, the guy comes to the ring carrying a Shake Weight...hey, I've seen worse gimmicks!).

Ultimately it was Raven who took Jeffie out, with a pretty brutal kick to the head. So, yeah, in the closing moments of the show, another Jeffie had bitten the dust.

Not to worry, whether we want him or not, I'm sure Azkath will provide another Jeffie in the coming weeks, and we can look forward to perhaps taking that one out, as well!
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February 25, 2012 - Neotheist

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Neotheist from Rochester, NY, visit the show.

Playlist;
Pat Travers - Killer's Instinct
Witch Mountain - Wing Of The Lord
Iron Mask - God Punishes, I Kill

Sword - Stoned Again
Astra - Quake Meat
Ministry - Double Tap
Pallbearer - The Legend

Dio - Invisible
Van Halen - As Is
Break Of Reality - Lateralus
Graveyard - Deathcrowned

Neotheist - Scars Of Melancholy
Christian Mistress - Haunted Hunted
Rage - Forever Dead

Faith Or Fear - Grinding Halt
Neothiest - Darkness Remains
Cannibal Corpse - As Deep As The Knife Will Go
Asphyx - Reign Of The Brute

Neothiest - The Truth Unseen
Eluveitie - The Siege
Psycroptic - Unmasking The Traitors
Orange Goblin - The Fog
Exumer - Fire & Damnation
Napalm Death - Fall On Their Swords

Neotheist - Megiddo Aflame
Thoughts In Reverse - Skywalker
Nokturnal Hellstorm - Eternal Wasteland
Pallbearer - Given To The Grave




Pilgrim - Quest
Corrosion Of Conformity - The Moneychangers
Savage Grace - After The Fall From Grace
Behold!The Monolith - Bull Colossi

Anvil - Paper General
Spater - Brain Dead
Motorhead - Stay Clean
UFO - The Last Stone Rider
Girlschool - C'mon Let's Go
Manowar - Hail And Kill

Tetrafusion - No One Sleeps
Iced Earth - Iron Will
Death - Zombie Ritual
Angel Witch - Dead Sea Scrolls

Faith Or Fear - Titanium
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;

This edition of The Metallic Onslaught featured NeoTheist in the studio, an extreme progressive-metal act from Rochester. Very cool to have them on board, I'm happy to say they fit right in. Drummer Brady Mentz was even enough of a trooper to take a taser shot to the tush, courtesy of Raven.

Seriouisly, I'm pretty sure the guy volunteered, so that makes a grand total of two guests between the Onslaught and The Last Exit For The Lost who have willingly allowed themselves to be zapped. The other victim being Bryan from Sorrow Of Batavia, who not only took a shot to each ass cheek during one show, but came back the folliwing week to administer a shot all by himself! Which, being Bryan, really isn't so surprising. He did, after all, volunteer to ride to Cold Stone Creamery in Bill's trunk that one night a couple year's back...

Musicians can be sooo silly!

In all seriousness, this band's got some chops and you can hear their latest demo streaming live on their Facebook page. They'll also be celebrating their demo with an official CD release on March 31 at Monty's Krown in Rochester. Check 'em out!

Funny, I don't think the guys in the band knew that we had a reputation for insanity on the show, as they seemed a little shocked when Azkath came out and started beating on me for something I'd said. Honestly can't remember what triggered that particular beatdown, but it seemed to confuse the band just a tad. I assured them that it was all more or less part of a "normal" Onslaught evening.




Speaking of the usuall craziness, in addition to Brady getting zapped, Jeffie was on hand once again. Seems he can't get enough of that damned taser, which I kind of look at this way:

As it stands, if it makes him happy and he leaves the rest of us alone, where's the harm? Let him fry himself silly! (Sillier...?) It's really only annoying when he gets zapped while latched onto somebody else (usually me...and it SUCKS!!!). So, I say we should all pitch in and get him his own taser, and he can sit iin the corner and play with it until he's a smoking, blackened husk sitting on the carpet!

Then, of course, Azkath will just make another...

Oh, remember when i'd mentioned the learning curve as applies to Jeffie? How it pretty much goes all the way around, coming full circle, so there really is NO learning progress? His continued dealings with Raven have more or less confirmed this theory of mine, as she continually beats the snot out of him before zapping him. Seriously, this lady showed some impressive martial arts skills, landing a kick straight to Jeffie's dome at one point. Sincerely, I wouldn't mess with this lady!

Once again, though, there's that whole "full-circle learning curve" thing...

There was further mention of No Pants Day. Now, some may say it's too soon to discuss such things, but the truth is, as of this coming Friday, we'll be looking at exactly two months from that particularly...ummmm, awkward...event. Now, the general consensus seems to be that the only way I can make the night worse would be to go completely naked, which I'm NOT GOING TO DO!

Jeeez, chill already, folks, I'm not that crazy!

As a matter of fact, it was pretty much agreed that I am not only to wear pants that day, but I am to wear DOUBLE pants! Two layers, on the first Friday in May? That could suck, considering you never know what early May can be like weather-wise. Shit, we could have snow on the ground or it could be in the 90's!

I personally guarantee that whatever goes down this year on No Pants Day, it will NOT be me who traumatizes everybody in the building! But, that doesn't necessarily mean we're coming away unscathed...

And besides, look on the bright side. Just a couple of weeks after No Pants Day, there's an even bigger event to look forward to, with that being Finger Lakes Metal Fest!

See, there really IS light at the end of the tunnel!
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February 18, 2012 - Josh and Kris from 2CW

Pictures

This night we had Josh and Kris from a local wrestling promotion, 2CW in studio most of the night!
 
Listen to the Show;


Playlist;
Orange Goblin - Death Of Aquarius
The Element - Promises (At Least One Sunny Day)
Primal Fear - Bad Guys Wear Black
Dio - Straight Through The Heart

Marchello - First Love
W.A.S.P. - The Real Me
Pilgrim - Masters Of The Sky

Spater - Evel Knieval
Mustasch - Destroyed By Destruction
Avatar - Let It Burn
Psycroptic - The Throne Of Kings
Lamb Of God - The Undertow
Eluveitie - Scorched Earth

Spater - Rat Salad
GoatWhore - Beyond The Spell Of Discontent
Legacy Of Disorder - Break
Trillium - Scream It

Cannibal Corpse - Followed Home Then Killed
Corrosion Of Conformity - The Doom
Iron Mask - Blizzard Of Doom
Asphyx - Of Days When Blades Turned Blunt
Asphyx - Der Landser
Sonic Syndicate - Denied

Caliban - Edge Of Black
Martyrd - Pain Of Reason
Tetrafusion - Cloudless
Desaster - All Hell's Horizon
Lay Down Rotten - Swallow The Bitterness

Spater - Revenge
Burn Everything - Ambulance Chaser
Mpire Of Evil - Hell To The Holy
Mortal Sin - Psychology of Death
Bleeding Through - Entrenched
Bleeding Through - Back To Life

Dio - Shame On The Night
Nevermore - In Bondage To Sin
Anvil - Strength Of steel
Cradle Of Filth - The Promise Of Fever
Motorhead - Get Back In Line
Lillian Axe - Bow Your Head
Girlschool - Hit And Run

Aborted - Of Scabs And Boils
Sulaco - On The Fence
Neotheist - Meggido Aflame
Thoughts In Reverse - Dead Poet
Saint Chaos - Nothing Is Forever
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;

Wasn't much time for craziness on this installment, but it was far from a dull evening. David Henninger from Spater was on hand to share the line-up for this years edition of Finger Lakes Metal Fest with us, and I'm here to tell ya, it's gonna be fucking KILLER! The bar has been raised, and I'm suspecting that Donselaar's might need to reinforce the builiding beforehand. No kidding, the place may not be standing by the time this is over! So, here's the facts as they stand. Finger Lakes Metal Fest will take place on Saturday, May 19. Once again, it will take place at Donselaar's in Cyde, NY and will feature 20 bands on 2 stages. As always, this is a FREE event, the only expenses you have to worry about are gas money to get there, plus whatever you want to bring to spend on merch, food, drinks, etc. Camping is available, in case you overindulge a bit and don't feel like driving home. Just bring a tent!

And, once again, this event will be emceed by The Metallic Onslaught! And now, the meat and potatoes! This year's line-up features the following:

Spater/ Inersha/ Tarantula/ Caged/ Horseface/ Lowkey/ Awaken/ The Untold Lies/ Order Of The Dead/ Hate Machine/ Circus Grenade/ Poetry In Black/ Dawn Of The Apocalypse/ Takken/ Burn Everything/ Stygian/ The Long Cold Dark/ Laestrygonia/ Cassidy Has Cholera/ Armed With Valor

Can you say "must-see"? Really, I can't think of a better show to kick the summer concert season off than this!

Speaking of potential "must-sees", Squared Circle Wrestling (2CW) will be putting on a show next Saturday at Suzy's Tavern in Auburn. Yeah, sounds crazy, but they're gonna do it, and the main event is going to be a STEEL CAGE MATCH! Inside of Suzy's! Still trying to wrap my head around that! All this and more was discussed as a couple of 2CW representatives told us a bit about this event, and more! I'm thinking it's gonna get a little wild in Auburn next Saturday night!


Not much else to speak of this week, besides the excitement over the impending Iron Maiden concert at Darien Lake. They'll be performing their on July 16th, and I really couldn't conceal my enthusiasm over this show. Bottm line, I've NEVER seen Iron Maiden! Every chance I've had to see them, something had to go wrong. Powerslave tour? Parents wouldn't let me attend due to a downswing in my grades...Somewhere In Time tour? College classes and lack of money...Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son? Lack of funds...

You get the gist, I'm sure...

So, yes, I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. This could very well be my last chance to see them for a long damned time, considering I'm pretty sure the last time they came around here was Ozzfest 2005...Seriously, between that, Mayhem Fest, and some really cool upcoming club shows, 2012's looking to be pretty damned kick-ass!
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February 11, 2012 - Drophead, Azkath, and Jeffie



Keith from Drophead stopped by the show, as did Azkath, and finally Jeffie. Chaos was had...

Listen to the Show;

Playlist;

Lillian Axe - Gather Up The Snow
Girlschool - Watch Your Step
Van Halen - Bullethead
Crimson Glory - Queen Of the Masquerade

Crimson Glory - Lady In Winter
Iced Earth - The Trooper
Grave Robber - Fill This Place With Blood
Astral Doors - Pearl Harbor
Lamb Of God - The Number Six

Asphyx - Deathhammer
Mpire Of Evil - The 8th Gate
Orange Goblin - The Fog
Goatwhore - Judgement Of The Bleeding Crown
Legacy Of Disorder - Break

Desaster - Troops Of Heathens, Graves Of Saints
Lay Down Rotten - Hades Resurrected
The Devastated - Zombies
Wombwrecker - Death Curse
3 Inches Of Blood - Leather Lord

Drop Head - Inside My Head
Saint Chaos - Hellfire
Leeway - Mark Of The Squealer
Nine Round - The Disease
Tetrafusion - Spider Silk

Anvil - Mad Dog
Anvil - Machine Gun
Anvil - Bushpig
Mystic Prophecy - Eyes Of The Devil
Avatar - In Napalm
Atomkraft - Teutonic Pain
School Of Violence - We The People

Motorhead - Killed By Death
Bleeding Through - Final Hours
Aborted - Our Father, Who Art In Feces
Burn Everything - Ghosts Of The Waves
Combat - Age Of Discord
Asphyx - Vespa Crabo
GoatWhore - When Steel And Bone Meet

Megadeth - Deadly Nightshade
Mpire Of Evil - Devil
Oz - Black Candles
Orange Goblin - The Bishops Wolf
Heidevolk - Fought To Freedom
Sulaco - Make A Move

Nine Round - Lost In The Fold
Mustasch - Dead Again
Pilgrim - Misery Wizard
Psycroptic - The Throne Of Kings

Netherbird - The Beauty Of Bones
Metallica - (Anesthesia)-Pulling Teeth
Anthrax - Metal Thrashing Mad
Riotgod - Slow Death

Dr. Living Dead - Kindergarden Cop
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Recap by The Metal Wulf;

As promised last week, Josh got his first dose of schooling in the music of Crimson Glory, as Joe played "Queen Of The Masquerade" and "Lady Of Winter". I'm happy to say that Josh enjoyed what he heard, and I'm hoping he'll eventually invest in a couple discs in the future. Just stay away from Strange And Beautiful...

We were also featuring some great new music last night, playing new tracks from Asphyx, Van Halen (not a bad album, overall, worth checking out!), and GOATWHORE!!! I also highly recommend the newest from Orange Goblin, called A Eulogy For The Damned. This one is quite possibly an early contender for my top 10 of 2012. Well, maybe...still got a long way to go!

Had a couple of surprises, the first being a visit from Lance! Hey, I'm gonna give the guy credit, he's been trying to drop in a little more frequently as of late. Granted, on the night of the Tribute To The Past show he didn't appear until the last set of music, but he came down the following week and hung out with Joe and Rick while the rest of us were in either Rochester or Ithaca. It's good to have him hangin' out again!

Lance hadn't been there very long when the doorbell rang again. Couldn't imagine who it could have been in this case, because it was only 10:00 p.m. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find Azkath and crew! Hell, normally they wouldn't be in the vicinity until around 11:30 or so! And that's two straight weeks that he's been there early! Could we be setting a new trend? Hmmmm...only time will tell...

Azkath didn't waste any time in busting my nuts about an anti-Rick Santorum tirade that I'd made on my Facebook page. Wasn't just me, though, as a certain article on the internet sparked a great deal of anti-Santorum responses from the metal community. In a nutshell, the article in question dealt with a "war on heavy metal" that Santorum was waging as he continues to gain approval for the Republican nomination. Turns out, though, that the article was posted on a satirical news site, and the whole thing was just a big joke. So, yeah, I reacted a little prematurely, before realizing what was actually going on, and Azkath called me on it. I confess, I'm terribly gullible sometimes...

So, knowing it's only three more months until No Pants Day, the discussion somehow got on the whole man-kini thing again. I jokingly made some references to what I'll possibly do to traumatize everybody this year. Truth is, I can't possibly beat last year without streaking through the studio, and that would probably get us cancelled. I definitely do NOT want that...

So, if anything, I'll just find a cool new pair of funny boxers to wear, or maybe a kilt, who knows...plenty of time to think of something fun!

Azkath departed after a relatively short time, and we're pretty sure it was because he knew Jeffie was going to make another appearance. At one point I took a moment to give Jeffie hell for going on an extended fishing trip without me. Hey, I freakin' love to fish, and I really don't get to do it very often. But, he explained to me that I was left out so that he and Joe could enjoy some one-on-one time... God/Goddess forbid I should come between Joe and Jeffie in their one-on-one time!

Jeffie made up for months of lost time by playing numerous rounds of "What's In Jeffie's Pants", which went abysmally wrong when he decided to try hiding Raven's taser in his pants. Talk about roasted nuts! The smell of burning Jeffie pubes wasn't exactly pleasant, to be honest...

It was actually funny, because that was the only time that he really DIDN'T enjoy getting zapped. Maybe he'll learn some discretion after this...l

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? The learning curve when it comes to Jeffie just goes all the way around, continuously coming around full circle, never really going anywhere. I think I can pretty well guarantee that he'll want to get zapped again, probably soon.

Things just got sillier when Jeffie broke out his dragon hat. You honestly need to see this thing to appreciate it, and unfortunately no photos were taken last night. There WAS some more video filmed, though, so I'm pretty sure some of the footage should feature that monstrosity.

Let's put it this way, somebody referred to him as Barf, The Magic Dragon at one point, and that really does kind of sum it up!

Jeffie also broke out this little kitten hand puppet that he's got, and we all ended up kissing the puppet. Personally, I didn't mind one bit, I've never been adverse to kissing the occasional kittie.

Don't think about it too hard, now...

As the evening wound down, Foul Mouth Girl gave Jeffie a blast of perfume to the eyes, effectively blinding him in the closing moments of the show. It proved to be a bit awkward, of course, as Jeffie attempted to find his way around the Stupid Room, and further blasts of perfume from both FMG and Raven didn't seem to be helping him much.Although those blasts DID help to make him smell better! Honestly, on his best nights, Jeffie smells worse than a Lost Horizon mosh pit, so every little bit helps...


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