Seriah Azkath

July 21, 2012 - A Typically Strange Show...

Listen to the Show

Playlist;
Tank - Justice For All
Firebird - Torn Down
Rush - Carnies
Malice - New Breed Of Godz

Deep Purple - Might Just Take Your Life
Deep Purple - Perfect Strangers
Deep Purple - Highway Star
Who Cares? - Out Of My Mind

Jorn - Ride To The Guns
Dust Bolt - Deviance
Striker - Wolf Gang
Dew-Scented - Thrown To The Lions
Desaster - Cross Me Fool
Heretic - Raise Your Fist

Banshee - Halls Of Karma
Banshee - Godless
Y&T - Forever
Gojira - This Emptiness
Fetus Stench - The Outer Island
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Run Through The Bastards

Judas Priestess - Saints In Hell
Dark Angel - Never To Rise Again
Bolt Thrower - War Master
Nile - The Inevitable Degradation Of Flesh
Coroner - Reborn Through Hate

Corrosive Carcass - Butchershop
Rocking Corpses - Necropolis
Radiation Sickness - Tripping In The Seas Of Madness
South Wicked - The Phantom Prince
Humangled - Needles To The Blind

Testament - Native Blood
The Company Band - Kill Screen
Hellyeah - Rage/Burn
Dew-Scented - Destined To Collapse
Periphery - Make Total Destroy
King Of Asgard - The Dispossessed

Mortillery - Mortal Artillery
Ire Clad - Hazard
Dr. Acula - Areola 51
Saint Diablo - The Monster's Real
The Contortionist - Sequential Vision

Chaosweaver - Wings Of Chaos
Nuse - Shinebox
Bonded By Blood - Show No Fear
Bury Tomorrow - Vacant Throne
Your Memorial - Cadence For A King
A Hero A Fake - Port Hole

Banshee - Floodgates Of Hell
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Recap by The Metal Wulf

With this show being just four days after their concert at Darien Lake, a few of us were still basking in the afterglow of greatness that is Iron Maiden. One of the best shows I've ever seen, easily. In all honesty, only KISS has them beat. But, of course, that's just me, and those who know me know just how big of a KISS fan I am.

Of course, I still got my ass busted for not seeing Iron Maiden back in the 80's. To be honest, though, that show was well worth the wait and I'm pretty sure I'm more appreciative of it at age 46 than I would have been at age 19.

So, besides Maiden, there were numerous things discussed throughout the evening. Things like...

The craziness of our Judas Priestess intervew getting over 1300 views in a less than a week, when it's taken our interviews with Rob Flynn (Machine Head) and Iggor Cavalera (Sepultura/Cavalera Conspiracy) months to even hit or break 1,000 views...

Pure insanity, not that I'm complaining. Those ladies were damned cool, and I'm pretty sure we'll all be waiting for them to come through our area again.

We mourned the loss of Deep Purple keyboardist Jon Jord with a brief but ass-kcking tribute, featuring some tracks that displayed some of his best work. No doubt, the guy had his own unique signature sound and style, which pretty much helped shape hard rock and heavy metal as we've come to know it. There'll never be another like him...

Speaking of departed icons, we had a little discussion regarding news of ex-Dio guitarist Vivian Campbell and his forming of a band called either Holy Dive or The Last In Line. Truth is, I've found reference to both names, but it seems Holy Diver is the more likely...

Now, this band not only features Vivian on guitar, but also features the rest of the early Dio line-up of Jimmy Bain on bass, Claude Schnell on keyboards, and Vinnie Appice on drums. Andy Freeman (former Lynch Mob vocalist and touring member of The Offspring) is said to be taking vocal respnsibilities.

All of this may sound all well and good, and I have to admit that I AM highly intrigued, but you've also got to remember that this is from the guy who referred to Ronnie James Dio as one of "the vilest people in the industry".

So, has Viv had a change of heart in the wake of losing both his parents (within a year of each other, not long before Ronnie passed), or is the guy hoping to cash in on his involvment with the earliest line-up of Dio?

I've actually got an answer to that, too. I really am going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and say that I genuinely believe that he's trying to do this for the sake of the musical legacy. I mean, come on, the guy's been with Def Leppard for over 20 years and isn't exactly starving! I highly doubt he's doing it for the cash.

I'd say this is a development that warrants more attention as time goes on!

We discussed an upcoming show at Suzy's Tavern in Auburn that will feature 80's metal act, Banshee. Gotta say, I'm glad that these guys were able to get a gig there, as they'd already had two shows fall through at the Bug Jar in Rochester. Seems that not many people remember them, but I'm hoping that the right kind of promotion, along with the fact that it's a free show, will bring out a decent crowd to check them out. Rest assured that a good chunk of the Onslaught crew will be on hand for this one!

We discussed the situation regarding Lamb Of God's Randy Blythe, who is still sitting in a Czech prison as of this writing. As I remember, something was mentioned about Rick needing to break Randy out of jail, kinda crashing through the wall like Kool Aid man.

OH YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

And then we'd all end up drinking from the head of Rick, which would be cracked open like a coconut after freeing Randy Blythe. It would be our salute to a fallen hero!

Honestly, though...don't hold your breath on that...

Josh got his balls busted harshly, as Joe finally had it sink deeply into his head that Josh is a Hall And Oates fan. Yep, that officially puts Josh in a similar category of lameness as me. Joe even demanded that Josh appear on the next show wearing a mustache like the one that John Oates used to have in the 80's. Tune in and find out how that goes!

Also in Josh news, he had a rare moment of actual funniness when he referred to Jeffie as Rubbin' McStuffins. I forget the reasons for the new nickname, but it was worth a genuine chuckle. Unfortunately, repeated usage wasn't quite as amusing, but it's given us new hope for Josh in the future! It would be pretty refreshing to have Josh known for more than being highly ticklish and for inserting his foot in his mouth (sometimes up to the knee) on a regular basis.

Go Josh!

As for Jeffie, poor Josh had forgotten to pick up his MP3 player. It now has sack marks on it, I'm pretty sure, maybe a little cheese on the corners...

Seriously, when Jeffie's around, it's ALWAYS best to be aware of the locations of your possessions. That's free advice, there, folks!

So, as he tucked Josh's belongings in awkward locations and as he tried rubbing Joe's bald spot, Jeffie explained to us how he has 500 David Hasslehoff cut-outs, something that the rest of us just could not wrap our brains around.

Who wants 500 David Hasslehoff cut-outs? I mean, the guy's become a drunken lout. The man's best days are long past. I mean, the Germans still seem to love him, but man...

Sorry, that just seemed like an odd request. I mean, I can understand a teenager wanting a poster of his from the 80's, when he was on Knight Rider. Or a young lady wanting a poster of him from his Bay Watch days, I suppose I can grasp that as well. But 500 cut-outs? Yeah, my brain is still hurting...

Oddly enough, Jeffie didn't seem to be aware of David's 80's success and seemed very interested in the idea of a talking car. I even placated him by telling him that maybe I'd rig his bus to talk.

Admittedly, not one of my brightest ideas. Hopefully he'll forget the whole thing before Friday.

There had been fairly extensive discussion regarding what has come to be known as the Jukebox In My Head. Unfortunately, this jukebox seems to be loaded with mostly crappy music, and only rarely contributes something even remotely listenable. In fact, the evening closed with a veritable medley of awfulness popping into my head and spewing forth from my mouth.

All of which led to the evening ending on a high note...well, a couple of them...literally...
 
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July 14, 2012 - Friday the 13th...

Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Rhapsody Of Fire - Heroes Of The Waterfalls Kingdom
Jorn - Live And Let Fly
Fist - Out Here In The Desert

Rush - Caravan
Y&T - Black Tiger
Spater - Sucker Punch
Mortillery - Without Weapons
Kyng - Bleed Easy
Candlemass - The Sound Of Dying Demons

Striker - Can't Stop The Rush
Periphery - Ragnarok
Hammers Of Misfortune - Summer Tears
King Of Asgard - Up On The Mountain

Alice Cooper - He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)
Watain - Wolfs Curse
Dust Bolt - March Thru Pain
Bury Tomorrow - Royal Blood

South Wicked - Graveyard Of Bones
Humangled - Skinned, To Feel All
Radiation Sickness - The Place Where People Die
Rocking Corpses - Up From The Grave
Fetus Stench - Meat Grinder Flesh Obliteration
Corrosive Carcass - Awesome Nuclear Power

Alice In Chains - Check My Brain
Diamond Head - Helpless
Baroness - Take My Bones Away
Eye Of Solitude - The Haunting

Nuse - Blood In The Streets
Contortionist - Feedback Loop
Chaosweaver - Infected
Bonded By Blood - Among The Vultures
A Hero A Fake - I Have A Knife
Nile - Supreme Humanism Of Meglomania
Gojira - The Axe

Ire Clad - Saints Of Lies
Unleashed - Rise Of the Maya Warriors
Your Memorial - Shipwreck
Manners - Shrouds
Saint Diablo - Blood On The Bathroom Floor
Vision Of Disorder - Loveless

For Today - Under God
Testament - True American Hate
Throw The Fight - I Just Died In Your Arms
Dying Fetus - Subjected To A Beating
Bathory - The Golden Walls Of Heaven

Dr. Acula - Dressed For Transylvania In The Boiling Weather
________________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf


Pretty damned good evening on the show, consdering we were originally going to pre-record the show. But, Joe decided to stick around, so it was he, and Rick, along with Josh and myself, who entertained throughout the evening.

Being Friday the 13th, it was only natural for Joe to play Alice Coope's "He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask)", even though it's really not among Joe's favorite Coop tracks. Truth is, Constrictor really doesn't rate to highly among Joe's favorite albums by Alice, although I personally didn't find it to be THAT terrible.

Joe actually suggested that I need to dress as Jason Voorhees tomorrow night when we go see Alice open for Iron Maiden at Darien Lake. Joe feels that Alice may actually play that song if I dress as Jason Voorhees, complete with hockey mask and machete, and approach the stage while Alice is playing. Personally, the only thing I see happening is ending up in a jail cell...which would endanger my chances of seeing Maiden for my first time, and THAT'S NOT HAPPENING!!!

And it's not just me who hasn't seen Maiden before. Foul Mouth Girl will be joining us for this show, and she hasn't seen either Maiden OR Alice Cooper before! Seriously, this is going to be a great time, can't wait to share the experience on the next Onslaught!

We were happy to announce that Judas Priestess would be playing in Seneca Falls at the Women's Right To Rock Festival. This show has already happened, and if you were there to witness it, consider yourself lucky, because these ladies kicked ass! Some may bitch that Militia doesn't sound like Rob Halford, and those are the people who don't freaking get it. These ladies aren't looking to copy Priest, they're looking to pay tribute and give the classic songs their own personal spin. I'm happy to say that it works, and Militia sounds freaking AMAZING singing those songs.

Don't believe me? Go to the Metallic Onslaught website and click my YouTube page, where you'll find plenty of live evidence from that show, plus an almost 20-minute interview with the entire band. Personally, I look forward to seeing and hanging with them again sometime!



So, it wouldn't be an evening on the Onslaught if we didn't get caught up in some completely nonsensical discussions. Somehow, we got on the subject of Faith No More and their former guitar player, Jim Martin. Jim, last I knew, was a pumpkin farmer, and this fact led to a discussion concerning why somebody would leave such an amazing band, only to devote his time to growing pumpkins. Of course, the only conclusion we could come to is that he's really Linus from Peanuts, and he's attempting to genetically engineer The Great Pumpkin, in the hopes of unleashing him upon mankind. We even came to the conclusion that he's still got his blanket, only now it's used to buff his guitar...

Hey, it could happen!

Or not...

And, I'm sad to say, for those who were tuned in, there was no nakedness on the show, after all. I was really pushing for it, knowing that after midnight it had officially become National Naked Day. Actually, if you look up the info, it was actually National Nude Day, as National Naked Day was supposedly back on the third of May. Naked or Nude, don't matter, there was none of it happening this past Friday night, as much as I really pushed for it.

I'll bet Jeffie would have celebrated if he'd shown up, though...

Ummm...yeah, best not to think of that...



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July 7, 2012 - Ire Clad



More Pictures

Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Rhapsody - Of Michael The Archangel And Lucifer's Fall
Opium Symphony - Soul For Sale

Icarus Witch - Tragedy
Testament - True American Hate
The Company Band - House Of Capricorn
Tank - Grace Of God

Fist - I Don't Care
Death Angel - Evil Priest
Malice - chain Gang Woman
A Sound Of Thunder - Kill That Bitch

Ire Clad - Little Middle Man
Bonded By Blood - Sheperds Of Rot
Mortillery - Evil Remains

Ire Clad - Dead Alive
Gideon - Overthrow
Saint Diablo - Blood On The Bathroom Floor
Dr. Acula - Ironic Enclosure
Kreator - From Flood Into Fire

Ire Clad - Saints Of Lies
Vision Of Disorder - Loveless
Drone - Zombies In The Moshpit
Dust Bolt - March Thru Pain
Grave Digger - Rage Of The Savage Beast
Manowar - Black List
Chaosweaver - The Great Cosmic Serpent

Chasing Valor - Victorious
Ire Clad - Hazard
Pantera - Rise
Solstice - Cataclysmic Outburst
Manners - Widow Marker

Bathory - A Fine Day To Die
The Contortionist - Feedback Loop
Korpiklanni - The Steel
Holyhell - Lucifer's Warning
Oliver Dawson's Saxon - Hell In Helsinki
Delain - We Are The Others

Gojira - Pain Is A Master
Unleashed - The Hour Of Defeat
Dying Fetus - In The Trenches
40 OZ. Failure - Clawhammer
For Today - Immortal

Sanctuary - Battle Angels
Tony Iommi - No Stranger To Love
Dust Bolt - Oblivion
Jorn - Chains Around You
Lowriderz - Calling My Grave
Fear Factory - Recharger
____________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Hard to believe we're half-way through the year already, and it's been a damned good one! Loads of good music has been released already, if you know where to look (although, probably NOT Wal-Mart or Target...). Lookin' forward to lots more before the year's out!

Anyway, had a couple of representatives from Ithaca's Ire Clad (bassist Eric Rodriguez and drummer Pete Schlough) on hand this week. Damned good band, and they'll be playing at The Haunt this Friday night, as they open for Bone Jar, alongside Sanjuro Fields. Should be a good time, check 'em out if you're in a musical mood that evening.

Regrettably, Eric and Pete were still in the studio when Jeffie arrived, and unfortunately, lap dances and head lickings commenced almost immediately. Pete ended up with a pixie in his lap, while Eric ended up with...me...

All I've got to say about that is that Eric seemed to be enjoying my presence in his lap maybe just a bit much, bouncing me on his knee like I was the world's largest three year old...scary stuff, and I got the Hell outta Dodge as soon as I could.

Not that it mattered much, as Jeffie proceeded to place me in Pete's lap, which was really no fun for either of us. In fact, Pete was very verbal about his desire to have the pixie return to his lap.



Speaking of the pixie, who has been fluttering about the studio a lot in recent weeks, she offered a totally unnecessary diversion while we were discussing my attending the upcoming Journey/Pat Benatar/Loverboy show in Canandaigua next month.

I guess for some reason the guy's thought I was getting turned on about Loverboy's Get Lucky album cover (you know...Mike Reno's ass...red leather...I'm sure the ladies loved it back in the day, frankly I tried not to think about it...), and I guess the pixie thought that pressing up against the window would get me off the subject.

And it worked!

All in all, she seems pretty cool and relatively harmless, I think we'll let her stick around for a bit.

Honestly can't remember too much about Jeffie's visit outside of the fact that Kendo stick shots were delivered to both members of Ire Clad.

I'm pretty sure Eric has no nerve endings anywhere in his body, as Jeffie's shot to his back completely broke the end off of the stick. Eric didn't even flinch...

I do remember trying to ask Jeffie how he was adapting to being part frog, and I wasn't able to get a response out of him. He seemed very vague about his feelings on the subject. Quite frankly, being terrified of frogs, I thought he would have gone completely out of his mind by now...

Oh, wait...too late...

Anyhoo, I do know that before the night was over, Lance had beaten the living snot out of Jeffie, but for all practical purposes didn't seem to leave any lasting damage upon him. So, I'm guessing he'll be back in a couple of weeks.
Speaking of which, the next installment of The Metallic Onslaught will be pre-recorded. Some of us will be going to Watertown for a 2CW wrestling event, while some of us may be taking in the first night of this year's Women's Right To Rock festival right here in Seneca Falls. Three days of rockin' ladies, whether solo artists or female-fronted bands! I've had a great time at this in previous years, very much worth checking out, and it's FREE! Come on down and hang out!
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June 30, 2012 - Another New Jeffie!




Listen to the Show;

Playlist;
Kyng - Pushing And Pulling
Dream Theater - The Dark Eternal Night
Unisonic - Renegade

Tank - The War Drags Ever On
Malice - New Breed Of Godz
Jorn - I Came To Rock
Kill Devil Hill - Old Man

Rush - BU2B
Death Angel - Voracious Souls
Cradle Of Filth - Tortured Soul Asylum
Unleashed - Odalheim
Spater - Rat Salad

Testament - True American Hate
Bonded By Blood - Show No Fear
Countess - In League With Satan
As I Lay Dying - Cauterize
Primate - March of The Curmudgeon

Spater - Revenge
Ire Clad - Force It Down
Lowkey - Porcupine Cannonball
Lamb Of God - 11th Hour
Lamb Of God - Black Label

Mortillery - Without Weapons
Mortillery - Nuclear Disaster
Glass Cloud - If He Dies, He Dies
Kreator - Phantom Antichrist
Dr. Acula - Robot People From Hell
For Today - Under God

Dying Fetus - Invert The Idols
Ihsahn - The Paranoid
Fear Factory - God Eater
Gojira - The Axe
Burn Everything - Maintain Radio Silence

Icarus Witch - In The Dark
Widow Sunday - The Wave
The Company Band - House Of Capricorn
Nile - When My Wrath Is Done
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder - Dripping With Venom

Exodus - Blacklist
Manowar - House Of Death
Masi - God Promised A Paradise
Megadeth - Chosen Ones
Rammstein - Zwitter

Apple Maggot Quarantine Area - Mutant Cats From Hell
Throw The Fight - Makes Us Stronger
Single Bullet Theory - Edge Of Broken
Witchsorrow - Breaking The Lore

Krokus - Long Stick Goes Boom
Anacrusis - Sound The Alarm
________________________________________________

Recap by The Metal Wulf

In-studio guests this week were David Henninger from Spater, along with Sean and Matty from Lowkey, as they promoted a free show at Tommy's in Newark last night. Those in attendance would have had the good fortune to be on hand as Spater recorded the show for a possible upcoming live CD. Rick Horton was among those attendees, and I'm betting he'll have some fun details for us when we all get together for the next Onslaught.

Managed to get my balls busted for pirating music, which I think was a slightly harsh judgment. I mean, come on. For those of us who came through the 80's, most of us got turned onto at least one or two bands through a little phenomenon called "tape trading". Somebody would have a copy of a bands recent release recorded on a cassette, or sometimes a compilation of a few different bands, and they'd say "Check this shit out", and you'd listen and more than likely end up buying at least one or two records from some of those artists. And then you'd hand the tape onto another friend, who would conceivably do the same. Hell, I've got a copy of Metallica's "No Life 'Til Leather" demo that probably isn't even listenable anymore, but if somebody wanted a copy, I'd do my damndest to set them up!

Of course, the quality would be...ewwww...don't even wanna think about how that's gotta sound almost thirty years after the fact...

Anyhoo, I guess my point here is that this whole "file sharing" thing isnt quite so far off the mark. Ultimately, the music is getting heard, and hopefully there are enough folks out there who still actually prefer to buy music when they hear something they genuinely like.
Something was mentioned about sending me to the Olympics as part of the Diving Team, kind of a laughable idea, which is why it was brought up, of course. Hell, I suggested they should form an Olympic Cannonball Team, which I'd probably excell at, but that idea didn't exactly fly. Actually, what did fly was the idea of me being part of an Olympic Farting Team. Note, that's Farting and NOT Sharting...

Somehow we got on the topic of bath salts and it's supposed face-eating properties. That topic somehow shifted to how I should try snorting bath soap sometime.

Okay, whatever, haha, I figured I'd just run with that one. I mean, why settle on bath soap when you can have powdered bubble bath! Just set me up with a big ol' box of Mr. Bubble and we'll be golden. It'll probably make my nose run heavily, so the snot can mix with the powdery bubble bath, and each time I sneeze, bubbles can come flying from my nose, filling the room with snot-bubble goodness...

Yeah, ewwww...

Now, I'd forgotten to mention in last week's recap that not only did Jeffie die, but so did JustJoe. Both got thrown head-first into the anvil, and, well, I'm pretty sure you can guess how well that went for them. Of course, in true Jeffie tradition, there was another one handy for this week's show. Now, as you may remember, Raven made some improvements on the previous Jeffie, not actually cloning a new one, just reanimating the old one. Well, this time she cloned a fresh Jeffie, and made some improvements to the overall DNA mix. We, of course, tried to remind her that her previous improvements were really not improvements at all, but she assured us that all was good.

So, the new Jeffie, complete with frog DNA, came stumbling in.

Yes, I said FROG DNA...

Now, the newest form of Jeffie seemed far less intelligent than previous attempts, not that any of them are too far above Forrest Gump level. This one, though, was pretty damned dim. Didn't say much, outside of repeating what was spoken to him. Eventually, however, he'd come around enough to at least read upcoming show listings, so I guess there's room for further improvement, given time.

And I'll say this much, he makes for awesome pest control! Damn, he was gulping down moths like they were going out of style. Still, I kinda wish he hadn't decided he needed to cough up those moths and attempt to share them with everybody else. I would actually go so far as to say it was totally unnecessary, except for the fact that he WAS trying to feed Josh, who could possibly benefit from a small amount of protein. I mean, he pretty much survives on twigs and berries as it is...

Of course, there's that point of the evening where everything goes completely to Hell, and there's no saving us. That moment came when I decided to find out what kind of frog Raven had used in the cloning process, meaning that I sat Jeffie down in the chair and licked the top of his head...

Chaos ensued, not that I remember much beyond watching giant squirrels battling it out, and then watching a dog eat the squirrels, which made me very upset, and then the dog turned into Josh, which made me even more angry, knowing it's very unlike for Josh to eat squirrels...

Yeah, here's some free advice: If you're ever tempted to lick a clone's head to see what kind of frog DNA they contain...just...don't...really...it ain't worth it...the hallucinations...the squirrel blood...the tongue warts...none of it...

I've gotta lie down, now...

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