May 4, 2013 - No Pants Day!

Listen to the Show
** Slayer Tribute **
Captor Of Sin
Die By The Sword
Hell Awaits
Raining Blood
War Ensemble
South Of Heaven
Silent Scream
War Zone
Hate Worldwide
Agressive Perfector
Angel Of Death
Masters Of Metal - Chameleon
The Resistance - To The Death
Pamela Moore - Paranoia
F.K.U. - Scream Bloody Mosher
M:Pire Of Evil - Blackened Are The Priests
Atrocity - Death By Metal
Ark Of The Covenant - Transgressors
Vicious Rumors - Electric Punishment
Orchid - Mountains Of Steel
Black Water Rising - Show No Mercy
Death Dealer - Hammer Down
Gary Clark Jr. - When My Train Pulls In
Amorphis - Enchanted By The Moon
Iron Glove - Heaven Hellbound
Suidakra - Let Me Put My Love Into You
Trail Of Tears - Path Of Destruction
The Monolith Deathcult - Drugs, Thugs & Machetes
Starkill - New Infernal Rebirth
Killswitch Engage - Time Will Not Remain
Potential Threat - Written In Blood
Horseface - Succubus (I Warned You!)
Ghost B.C. - Depth Of Satan's Eyes
Arsis - Choking On Sand
Anciients - Faith And Oath
Kings Destroy - The Toe
Kadaver - Rythm For Endless Minds
Sodom - Tracing The Victim
We As Human - Dead Man
Skid Row - Get Up
Ugly Kid Joe - No One Survives
Pamela Moore - Melt Into You
Avantasia - Dweller In A Dream
Pushmen - The Year Of Hands & Neck
Stygian - Bloodlines
Blood Ceremony - Witchwood
Kobra And The Lotus - No Rest For The Wicked
Recap by The Metal Wulf...

So, as per tradition, the night of the 3rd was our annual No Pants Day celebration (being the first Friday of the month). And, in all honesty, the first couple of hours were pretty uneventful in the sense that there was no uncomfortable silly occurrences, of the type we are all too well known for on this particular evening.
In fact, Joe attempted a save by suggesting that No Pants Day was over by the time the rest of the crew arrived (Jeffie, JustJoe, and Arydaea), mentioning how it was officially Saturday, and therefore May 4th, which is apparently now Official Star Wars Day (May The Fourth Be With You...)
But, Jeffie and JustJoe proclaimed it to be No Pants Day Weekend, so there was no avoiding it...
Before I get into any more detail regarding the horrors that befell later in the evening, I should mention that we devoted the first hour of the show to paying tribute to Slayer's Jeff Hanneman, who had sadly passed the day before. 
Those familiar with Hanneman's story know that he'd taken ill a couple year's ago, contracting necrotizing fasciitis, possibly from a spider bite. The official cause of death, as of recently, seems to be pointing to cirrhosis of the liver, however.
No matter, you can't prepare yourself for anything like this. I mean, come on, Hannaman was part of a major movement in heavy metal history, being part of the early thrash scene and helping to pave the way for a completely new genre of heavy music. His contributions to Slayer are practically limitless, including both music and lyrics, especially in the early years. He will be deeply and sorely missed...
So, moving along to the horrors of No Pants Day...
Okay, I confess, even I found myself to be highly creepy in the aftermath of the whole thing, when photos and video were being shared on Facebook. I mean, I even kept my shorts on this year, literally NO boxers and NO man-kini! 
Can't say the same for the shirt, though. 
So, yeah, in a nutshell, I put rainbow stickers around my nipples to act as Pasties, strapped on an inflatable unicorn horn, painted a mop head in rainbow hues (a HORRIBLE paint job, by the way...), and wore Jeffie's blonde wig (my head's been itchy every since...) in the interest of putting forth my ultimate personification of what a Brony would be. And I'm kinda ashamed of myself...
Of course, shame doesn't make it okay that at the end of the evening Jeffie and JustJoe beat me down and violated me with my own unicorn horn...and I'm pretty sure there was some sincere attempts at tea-bagging me at the very end...
And let's not forget Arydaea's assurances to the three of us that not only was there a No Pants Day bus outside waiting for us, but there was also a Brony bus, specifically for me.
We looked...long and hard...far and wide...there were no buses...

April 20, 2013 - Spater, Ire Clad, and Stone Soul Foundation


Dust - Chasing Ladies 

Skid Row - Kings Of Demolition 
Jungle Rot - Blind Devotion 
MPire Of Evil - Temples Of Ice 
Gama Bomb - Beverly Hill Robocop 
Potential Threat SF - In For The Kill 
Kadavar - Doomsday Machine 
Memory Garden - Country Girl 
Silent Knight - Prophets Of War 
Sodom - Invokating The Demons 
Uncle Acid And The Deadbeats - Poison Apple 
Stone Soul Foundation - Taking Back The U.S. 
Spater - Pummeled 
The Black Dahlia Murder - Into The Everblack 
Lonesome Wyatt And The Holy Spooks - Curse Of The Poltergeists 
Kobra And The Lotus - Forever One 
Horseface - The Nile 
Arsis - Sunglasses At Night 
Hellbound - Blood Preacher 
Queensryche - Empire 
Beatallica - I Saw Her Standing There 
Black Sabbath - God Is Dead? 
Anvil - Eat Your Words 
Black Pyramid - Bleed Out 
Anciients - Flood And Fire 
Ire Clad - Force It Down 
Septekh - Cursing The Skies 
Dead Awaken - Kingdom Of Damnation 
Sacred Mother Tongue - Pawn 
Pushmen - Blaze Some More Hate 
Nebulous - Aggregating Powers 
Y&T - Barroom Boogie 
Ghost B.C. - Ghuleh/Zombie Queen 
ADE - Duelling The shadow Of Spartacus 
Spiritual Beggars - Wise As A Serpent 
Kvelertak - Nekrokosmos 
Birth A.D. - Parasites Die 
Whitechapel - Alone In The Morgue 
Starkill - Immortal Hunt 
Suicidal Tendencies - Slam City 
Blind Illusion - Blood Shower 
Pestilence - Deify Thy Master 
Skyclad - Halo Of Flies 
Panic - Black Feather Shake 
Morgoth - Female Infanticide 
Dark Angel - Leave Scars 
Scanner - Grapes Of Fear 
Killswitch Engage - Beyond The Flames 
Killswitch Engage - The New Awakening 

Recap by The Metal Wulf
We had representation from three of the bands who will be playing at this year's edition of Finger Lakes Metal Fest. 
So not only did we have Dave and Terry from Spater on board, but we had all of the guys from Stone Soul Foundation on hand, as well. This was the first time we've seen them since late last summer, and they were kind enough to let us play a new track, which they will be making a video for, called "Taking Back The U.S." Looking forward to seeing it once it's ready to go! 
And, for the record, this will be their first ever appearance at Metal Fest, so if you've never seen them, get your asses to Donselaar's on May 18 and check them out. Well worth it!
Eric Rodriguez from Ire Clad was also on hand. Ire Clad is also appearing at Metal Fest for the first time, and they're another band that I personally can't recommend strongly enough. 
Eric was actually attempting to give away tickets to another show that they're playing, in this playing along with Polka Dot Cadaver and some other greats in Watkins Glen this Saturday night.
Needless to say, Eric demonstrated some...interesting...methods of motivating people to call. He actually suggested he'd have sex at the show with whoever called in for the tickets. 
Honestly, I probably shouldn't share some of the things that he was suggesting off the air...
I should also probably mention that Josh has learned to run away when people attempt to tickle him. This is a great step forward for him, to be honest, so I'm thinking in the future we may not be seeing quite as much of the "fainting goat" effect.
Time will tell!
Anyhoo, next show will feature members of both HorseFace and Stygian, and I'm pretty sure both sides are pretty pumped for this year's event! Tune in and check it out!


April 13, 2013 - What Randy Did to Cuss Muffin...

Lordi - I Luv Ugly 

Owl - Destroyer 
Ugly Kid Joe - Devil's Paradise 
Kobra And The Lotus - 50 Shades Of Evil 
Black Pyramid - Bleed Out 
Anthrax - Keep On Runnin' 
Deep Purple - Hell To Pay 
Queensryche - Cold 
Sodom - Stigmatized 
Ghost B.C. - Year Zero 
Scanner - Wizard Force 
Woe - All Bridges Burned 
The Black Dahlia Murder - Into The Everblack 
Mistress - Psycho Bat 
Terror - Invasion 
Execution - In The Name Of Metal 
Suicidal Tendencies - Who's Afraid 
Fallstar - It's In Our Blood 
Septekh - Apollonian Eyes 
Dead Awaken - Mudhell 
Anciients - Overthrone 
Anciients - Falling In Line 
Avenger Of Blood - Aggressive Psychotic Behavior 
Anvil - Jackhammer 
Kvelertak - Spring Fra Livet 
Black Summer - Letting Go 
Device - Out Of Line 
Melvins - Black Betty 
Chain Reaction - Down Below 
Dragonsfire - The Gunslinger's Fate 
The Ocean - Bathyalpelagic I: Impasses 
Rob Zombie - Lucifer Rising 
Alice In Chains - Stone 
Starkill - Sword, Spear, Blood, Fire 
Killswitch Engage - Turning Point 
While She Sleeps - Death Toll 
Crossfaith - Leviathan 
Stryper - To Hell With The Devil 
Spiritual Beggars - Turn The Tide 
Volbeat - Doc Holiday 
Ghost B.C. - Depth Of Satan's Eyes 
Sebastian Bach - Piece of Me 
Saxon - Guardians Of The Tomb 
High On Fire - Snakes For The Devine 
Hatriot - And Your Children To Be Damned 
Lynch Mob - River Of Love 
Recap by The Metal Wulf

We had Cuss Muffin and Karma from Roc City Roller Derby on hand to bring us up to speed with derby news.
Truth is, there's a lot going on. They've recently moved to Monroe Community College (Bill Gray's Ice Plex) for future bouts, and are also now members of the WFTA (Women's Flat Track Association). 
There was brief mention of No Pants Day while the girls were there, and Cuss Muffin suggested that what we needed was a No Tops Day. Not sure how that would fly, though...hmmmmm...
Somehow something was mentioned about Karma jumping over Joe as a skate stunt. The catch being, Joe has to dress as a shark, and swim around in a dunk tank, and Karma gets to dress like Fonzie from Happy Days. Personally, I say we need to make this happen before the new season is over, preferably around Joe's birthday!
Later in the evening, after Karma departed, I felt oddly compelled to give Cuss Muffin a lap dance, which didn't go quite as well as one would think. As a matter of fact, I got hip-checked...twice...and went reeling into the large wall displays where large quantities of vinyl are stored. 
The day's going to come where all of those records come pouring down... 
Darrel Lake had also returned to further promote his Wounded Warriors Project show that was held this past Saturday in Geneva.


April 6, 2013 - Breaking Randy's Brain...

    Kiss - I've Had Enough (Into The Fire)
Melvins - Warhead
Death Ray Vision - Not For Glory
Terror - Live By The Code

Spater - Sucker Punch
AC/DC - Let There Be Rock
Alice Chains - Stone
U.D.O. - Metal Machine
Crossfaith - Monolith

Cathedral - Pallbearer
Anthrax - Big Eyes
Nightshade - Apathy

Dead-Lift - Break-Down
Poetry In Black - Black Down
Cinderella - Bad Seamstress Blues/Fallin' Apart At The Seems
Clutch - Crucial Velocity
Adrenaline Mob - The Mob Rules
Witchburner - Spirit Of The Dead

Declarations - Exodus
Sworn To Remember - What's Left
Six Feet Under - The Day The Dead Walked
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil
Kvelertak - Snilepisk
Dark Sermon - Carcass

Misfits - Scream!
Misfits - Helena
Misfits - Science Fiction/Double Feature
Anvil - Paper General
Lordi - We're Not Bad For The Kids (We're Worse)
Suffocation - Rapture Of Revocation
Volbeat - Room 24

Jungle Rot - Ruthless Omnipotence
Mortillery - Creature Possessor
Rotting Christ - Gilgames
Gloryhammer - Wizards!
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Hell Will Have To wait

Cannibal Corpse - Nothing Left To Mutilate
Cannibal Corpse - Buried In The Backyard
Cough - Amaranth
Moss - The Bleeding Years

Iron Maiden - Heaven Can Wait
Lynch Mob - River Of Love
Black Summer - The Grind
Stryper - Soldiers Under Command
Krokus - Hardrocking Man
Hatriot - Weapons Of Class Destruction

Kiss - Heaven's On Fire
Deep Purple - Sail Away
Howl - Attrition
Pyrithion - Bleed Out
ASG - Avalanche

Saxon - Made In Belfast
Bring Me The Horizon - The House Of Wolves
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Started the evening off with KISS's "I've Had Enough (Into The Fire)" from Animalize, mainly because I was pretty sure it had been quite some time since anything had been played from that disc.

And I was right...

Joe was having just a little too much fun, however, as he kept playing the intro to Heaven's On Fire...over and over again. You know, the one where Paul Stanley goes..."WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOAOOOOOOO!!!!"

Indeed, it got so bad that later in the evening, when Joe played the full song, Rick took it out on my hide in the closing moments of the show. Yep, he totally lost it and pummeled me like a baby seal...

And that wasn't the only weirdness going on. There was one entire set of music where I could have sworn Joe was playing some of the worst garbage imaginable. I'm talking The Bee Gees...Andy Gibb...ABBA (of course...sigh...), and David Geddes' "Run, Joey, Run", which is possibly one of the worst 70's songs ever written.
And yet everybody else claimed that that particular set of music was about as metal as you could get...I sure wasn't hearing it!

And, to make matters worse, by the end of the evening I was so conflicted that I didn't even believe myself! Literally, nothing that came out of my mouth seemed truthful! It was definitely one of those things that sincerely make you question your sanity! Wouldn't wish that on anybody!

So, regarding normal things, we had Darryl Lake on hand to promote the Wounded Warriors Project, which is being held at the Geneva American Legion on Saturday, April 20. Featured bands include Poetry In Black, Beneath The Words, Through Lifeless Eyes, Deadlift, Here's My Obituary, Declarations, and Sworn To Remember.
Pretty sure admission is $10, or $5 with the donation of non-parishable goods to be sent to our troops. NO FOOD PLEASE!!!
At least I think I've got that right, and if I didn't, I will clarify with Darryl once more, as he arrives again on Friday night for one more night of promotion.

Speaking on Friday night, looks like we'll finally be getting a visit from at least a couple of our favorite Roc City Roller Derby girls, as I believe Cuss Muffin and Karma may be dropping by.
Should be a good time!


March 30, 2013 - Easter Jeffie


Suicidal Tendencies - Smash It! 

Trouble - 'Scuse Me 
Bring Me The Horizon - The House Of Wolves 
Dark Sermon - Hounds 
Iron Maiden - Killers 
U.D.O. - Metal Machine 
Killswitch Engage - You Don't Bleed For Me 
Necrophagia L.A. - Tear Off Your Face 
War-Saw - Intro (Final Warning) 
War-Saw - Nuclear Nightmare 
Alice In Chains - Brother 
Ghost B.C. - Year Zero 
Queensryche - Redemption 
Dedvolt - Let It Burn 
Niacin - Krush 
Clutch - D.C. Sound Attack 
Anthrax - Smokin' 
Spiritual Beggars - Left Brain Ambassadors 
October Tide - Emptiness Fulfilled 
Left For Dead - Kill All Humans 
Lynch Mob - Wicked Sensation 
Robin Trower - Bridge Of Sighs 
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil 
Kverertak - Nekrokosmos 
Jungle Rot - Rage Through The Wasteland 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Keepers Of The Night 
Saxon - Wheels Of Terror 
Gloryhammer - Magic Dragon 
Lordi - The Riff 
Hatriot - Blood Stained Wings 
Rotting Christ - Grandis Spiritus Diavolos 
Hatchet - Dawn Of The End 
Stryper - The Rock That Makes Me Roll 
Alice In Chains - Stone 
Flotsam And Jetsam - Ugly Noise 
Manowar - Manowar 
Soilwork - Realm Of The Wasted 
Ken Mode - The Terror Pulse 
Suffocation - Cycles Of Suffering 
Dark Throne - Valkyrie 
Mortillery - Madhouse 
Krokus - Rattlesnake Rumble 
Mad Season - I Don't Know Anything 
Terra Tenebrosa - The Compression Chamber 
Mothership - Angel Of Death 
Nightshade - Betrayal 
While She Sleeps - Death Toll 
Crossfaith - Jagerbomb 
Hope For The Dying - The Lost 
Psyche Corp. - Pound Of Flesh 
Godseed - This From The Past 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
Recap by The Metal Wulf
There was a touch of the ol' Full Moon Madness goin' on, and I spent the evening partially fuzzy. Still kinda disappointed that nobody wanted to scratch me behind the ears...
You'll see what I mean when the video gets shared...
Had a brief visit from some of the extended Onslaught family, as Will and Lindsey dropped in to say hello for a bit. It had actually been quite some time since the two of them had dropped by, so it was fun seeing them. Hard to believe that it's been just over a year since they became parents!
Kudos to Lindsey for being the only person who was nice enough to scratch behind my ears. It felt very nice...
So, before getting to the meat and potatoes of crazy events for the evening, I need to discuss a strange phone call that came for me during the first talk break. 
Some person with a phony accent (think Apu from "The Simpsons"...) mentioned something about how he'd heard I was interested in My Little Pony. He even went so far as to extend an invite to a convention in Las Vegas, where he wanted me to be their keynote speaker for the event...
I was honestly perplexed at first. I mean, I was pretty sure somebody was just fucking with me, but let's face it, crazy shit happens with us sometimes, and I've approached a juncture where very little actually shocks me anymore. Hell, for all I know, there really COULD be some weird sort of Bronie-Con going on. 
Anyhow, I declined, politely explaining to this person that I wasn't remotely interested in anything Bronie-related, in fact I went so far as to inform him that I'd never even heard the term until this past December. 
The guy didn't seem to believe me. In fact, he told me to "stop being a Richard", which roughly translates to don't be a dick (short for Richard...)
I will say this, it was an amusing conversation. Rick and Joe were pretty much losing it based solely on what they could hear on my end of the conversation, which I ended by thanking the caller for listening.
Pretty sure this particular incident warrants an installment of "Randy's Rants", so be on the lookout for that.
Well, it really came as no surprise when Jeffie arrived. As a matter of fact, Azkath's abrupt departure was the first clue that trouble was on the way.
Yep, previously assumed to be shark-bait...imprisoned by Sloth, before he escaped (more on that in a bit...), Jeffie made his return to the Onslaught this past Friday night...and what a return it was...
He started parading around in his underwear (wearing a shirt, at least...), and started pelting us with empty plastic Easter eggs. And instead of fake bunny ears, he was wearing that silly dragon cap of his, which just looked really...well...
Okay, as stupid as it looked, it was pretty fucking funny, I can't deny it.
Still, he pelted us with EMPTY plastic Easter eggs! No chocolate, foiled-wrapped eggs or peanut butter cups, or Peeps (personally, I hate Peeps...), or jelly beans (can take or leave those, as well...), or...well, you get the point.
In all honesty, after getting blasted directly on the right cheek bone, I should be grateful that those eggs had nothing inside them...
Anyhoo, we proceeded to welcome him back to the show by beating the unholy fuck out of him, throwing the eggs back at him, kicking and stomping him into the ground, beating him with his own Easter basket.
Yep, welcome back, Jeffie!
So, once he was capable of movement and semi-coherent speech again, he brought us up to date on all the fun stuff that happened to him after following Joe to Florida earlier this year.
Seems that Jeffie got really bored and decided to take some Twinkies to Sloth. Now, bear in mind, at this point in time there were no Twinkies on the shelves. Oh, maybe some generic, store-brand equivalents here and there, but no real Twinkies. Jeffie managed to find an old box deep on a shelf.
And, for Sloth, this has been an EXTREMELY sensitive subject. I don't think I've ever seen anybody get so emotional over the loss of a snack cake before. The man has truly been in mourning...
So, apparently Jeffie came along with the Twinkie box, but accidentally ate them all on the way, and Sloth just lost it. Freaked out. Beat Jeffie mercilessly, and then locked him in the basement for a couple of months. 
Bear in mind, Sloth actually revealed to us that Jeffie was in his basement just a mere three weeks ago when he dropped in for Ayrdaea's birthday.
So, the following week was when Azkatch received the cryptic message stating simply..."I got out..."
And, that brings us up to date, with Jeffie officially returned to the Onslaught. With that being said, anybody with a secure basement can now feel free to abduct him again, it won't be necessary to inform us of where you're keeping him. 
Awwwww, Hell, who am I kidding...we're pretty well stuck with him again...


March 23, 2013 - Tormenting Randy with ABBA


    Queensryche - Deliverance 
Avenger Of Blood - Aggressive Psychotic Behavior 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Night Songs 
Stryper - Soldiers Under Command 
Anthrax - Keep On Runnin' 
NightShade - Betrayal 
Mudhoney - In This Rubber Tomb 
Atrocity - Haunted By Demons 
Iron Maiden - Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son 
Sepultura - Procreation (Of The Wicked) 
Cauldron - Nitebreaker 
Dark Sermon - Hounds 
Spiritual Beggars - Too Old To Die Young 
Hypocrisy - Soldier Of Fortune 
Jungle Rot - I Am Hatred 
Lost Society - Diary Of A Thrashman 
Byzantine - Soul Eraser 
Black Star Riders - Bound For Glory 
Torture Killer - March Of Death 
Throw The Fight - Breaking The Cycle 
Memory Garden - The King Of The Dead 
Orchid - Wizard Of War 
Sebastian Bach - Slave To The Grind 
Clutch - The Face 
Hope For The Dying - Reformation 
Horseface - The Nile 
Horde Of Torment - As I Lay Dying 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
Kvelertak - Tordenbrak 
Hatchet - Screams Of The Night 
Ghoultown - Drink With The Living Dead 
Grim Reaper - See You In Hell 
Anthrax - Jailbreak 
Cathedral - Cathedral Of The Damned 
The Accused - I'd Love To Change The World 
Blowsight - We All Fall Down 
Heaven Shall Burn - Hunters will Be Hunted 
Warbreath - Hell Fire 
Pretty Maids - Sad To See You Suffer 
NightShade - Creepy Crawlies 
While She Sleeps - Death Toll 
Crossfaith - Monolith 
Sevendust - Till Death 
Million Dollar Reload - Blow Me Away 
Black Actress - Mopar 
Lordi - I Luv Ugly 
Mortillery - Angel Witch 
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil 
Hatriot - Suicide Run 
Krokus - Dirty Dynamite 
Recap by The Metal Wulf

A highly sarcastic discussion centering on Iron Maiden occupied the early portion of the evening.
This coincided, of course, with the official release of Maiden England on DVD. Pretty sure this is the first time this concert video has been available on DVD in the states, and as such, the package is pretty damned solid. You not only get the original concert, but there are bonus performances from the same show that didn't make it to the original VHS release.
On top of that there's also a second disc which features The History Of Iron Maiden, Part 3 (1986-1988), not to mention 12 Wasted Years (a 2012 remaster of the late 80's documentary, also on DVD for the first time), as well as a number of remastered promo videos from that time period.
And that's not all! There's also a live CD version of the show available!
And, seemingly, this is part of the problem. Over-saturation of Iron Maiden in the metal market! 
Now, as Maiden fans, Josh and I are perfectly cool with this. I'm actually chomping at the bit to get my hands on it. Joe, on the other hand, has pretty much had enough. That, however, didn't stop the rest of us from teasing him on the air about how much he LOVES Iron Maiden. As a matter of fact, he likes the new live CD so much, he played "Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son" within the first hour of the Onslaught! I mean, that's the LONGEST track on the setlist, so he must really, REALLY dig that tune!
Further discussion of my supposed upcoming expression of Bronie-ism on No Pants Day was held, and I actually did confess to researching this bizarre phenomenon, just a little bit.
Personally, I just don't get it...
I mean, I don't have an issue when it comes to adults liking cartoons. Personally, I still love most of the old classics, Loony Toons in particular. Some of that stuff just never gets old. Flintstones, Scooby Doo, Underdog, Josie And The Pussycats, Tom And Jerry...all good, still love them, no problem.
Bronie's are an odd bunch, though. I mean, if you like the cartoons, fine, but holy shit, the money people are willing to drop so they can have a Rainbow Dash wig? Or socks? Or lunch boxes? Or a fucking $65.00 zipper hoodie? Really? Adult males are into this crap? 
Seriously, you have my assurance that No Pants Day is going to be 100% Bronie-free...
The only other major item of note that I can remember is hearing ABBA playing during most of the talk breaks. I mean, I KNEW I was hearing ABBA, but the rest of the guys kept saying I was crazy, and that there was no ABBA playing at all.
It all must have been too much to bear, though, as Rick finally lost it, claiming that he had heard enough, and yelling about how Abba sucked. He then came out and beat the snot out of me, throwing me around the studio like a rag doll, bludgeoning my knees with large metal pipes, and basically leaving me a bruised mess on the floor.
Now, considering who was running the sound board, I'm pretty sure it was Joe who should have received that beating. Not that I'd normally wish harm upon the guy, but I'm just saying that it certainly wasn't ME who was trying to be all deceptive and shit. As for the rest of the guys, well Hell, they were in on the joke as well, so I don't think they've got a lot of room to bitch!
Yep, definitely should have been somebody else on the other end of that beatdown...Where's Jeffie when you need him?

March 16, 2013 - Arydaea's Surprise Party

Iron Maiden - Killers 
Iron Maiden - Hallowed Be Thy Name 
Gloryhammer - Angus McFife 
Saxon - Walking The Steel 
Anthrax - Big Eyes 
Clutch - The Wolf Man Kindly Requests... 
Cathedral - Tower Of Silence 
Gamma Ray - Empire Of The Undead 
Kvelertak - Trepan 
Witchburner - Possession 
Volbeat - Cape Of Our Hero 
Ken Mode - The Terror Pulse 
Adrenaline Mob - High Wire 
Ghost B.C. - Year Zero 
Intronaut - Milk Leg 
Rotting Christ - In Yumen-Xibalba 
Sanjuro Fields - Death's Umbrella 
Moss - The Bleeding Years 
Finntroll - Skogsdotter 
In Vain - To The Core 
Hope For The Dying - Reformation 
Hope For The Dying - Iniquitous 
Lordi - The Riff 
Sanjuro Fields - Smoking Cold Cigarettes 
Anthrax - Smokin' 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Keepers Of The Night 
Mama's Boys - Needle In The Groove 
Sanjuro Fields - Driver Included 
Mortillery - Evil Invaders 
Serenity - The Art Of War 
Legacy - Armored Forces 
This Is Hell - The Enforcer 
Head Of The Demon - Phantasmagoria 
Cathedral - Vengeance Of The Blind Dead 
Gamma Ray - Death Or Glory 
Clutch - Cyborg Bette 
Howl - Attrition 
Carnivore Diprosopus - Colossal Destruction 
Suffocation - Eminent Wrath 
Hatriot - Globicidal 
Tennessee Murder Club - Cyborg Deathbed 
Thin Lizzy - Emerald 
The Modern Age Slavery - Arise 
Mothership - Win Or Lose 
Soilwork - Leech 
Krokus - Hallelujah Rock N' Roll 
Toranaga - Sword Of Damocles 
Avenger Of Blood - Aggressive Psychotic Behavior 
Nick Hellfort - Fame Is Just A Whore 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Chicken Little
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Very likely the craziest night we'll have on the show all year. Of course, I'm not going to swear to that, because we've still got nine and a half months of craziness to get through.
Anyhoo, we'd been preparing for this particular evening for a number of weeks, as we wanted to do something special for Arydaea Insanity (the little lady who does most of the video recording for both the Metallic Onslaught as well as The Last Exit For The Lost), in honor of her birthday. This is actually the second time we've gotten a large number of her friends to converge on the same night. Two years ago we had met in Ithaca for an edition of The Last Exit, with all of us from the Onslaught showing up, as well as members of Zadoc...And The Nightmare!, and many others as well. It went over pretty well, so Azkath arranged another one for this year, this time at the Onslaught.
So, if you tuned in, you know things were pretty much out of control right from the starting gate. My vote for surreal moment of the evening was when Shoebox (of Worm Quartet fame) suggested we all randomly read the closest thing within reach, simultaneously.
There is video of this occurring, and it's pretty damned funny. Stay tuned!
In addition to Shoebox, we also saw the return of JustJoe, who's always good for his own brand of insanity, and there was also an appearance put in by Sloth, who we'd last seen on The Last Exit on their End Of The World show.
We'd also seen Sloth back in June when we celebrated Joe's birthday, the high point of that evening being a round of soccer with a ball constructed of barbed wire...
Cortland's Sanjuro Fields had also dropped in for Arydaea's birthday. Truth is, we'd tried to get them in the studio about a month earlier, on the same night that some of us were to go see Doro Pesch.
You'll recall that the weather that night put a damper on a LOT of people's plans...
(Fucking weather...*grumble grumble*...Doro...*grumble*... )
Anyway, Sanjuro Fields are pretty killer if you've never heard them or seen them live. Good high energy band with some catchy tunes, leaning a bit toward the punk end of the spectrum. Worth a listen, without a doubt, and you can find them right here on good ol' Facebook!
So, I'm not even going to attempt to recount everything that happened Friday night, it would be pointless. A lot of stuff got lost in the madness, and everything is pretty much a blur. All I can say is between photos and video, you can expect to see loads of madness and things done with balloons that...well, I'm pretty sure balloons weren't meant to be used in such a way...
So, things should return to some semblance of "normalcy" on the next edition of the show, when we'll be getting a visit from some of our Roc City Roller Derby friends. Most of the ladies haven't been out to see us in quite some time, so this should be pretty entertaining!

March 9, 2013 - Roller Girls


Nick Hellfort - Lifeline 
Lord - Digital Lies 
Kaledon - Between The Hammer And The Anvil 
Mortillery - Evil Invaders 
Howl - Attrition 
Wolfchant - Clan Of Cross 
The New Black - Sharkpool 
Dream Master - Leather Army 
Mothership - Cosmic Rain 
Rotting Christ - Iwa Voodoo 
Stryper - Bleeding From The Inside Out 
Gemini Syndrome - Left Of Me 
Within The Ruins - Feeding Frenzy 
Off With Their Heads - Shirts 
Stigma - Days Of Old 
Pantera - Cowboys From Hell 
Kyuss - The Green Machine 
Destruction - Cyanide 
Hatchet - Welcome To The Plague 
Orange Goblin - Round Up The Horses 
Krokus - Hardrocking Man 
Voivod - Warchaic 
Trouble - Pray For The Dead 
Hazy Hamlet - Field Of Crosses 
Maelstrom - Arise 
Mortillery - Angel Witch 
Domination - Backstabber 
Hateform - All Becomes Nothing 
Lordi - Happy New Fear 
Optical Faze - Ghost Planet 
Pig Destroyer - Volume 
Wormed - Techkinox Wormhole 
In The Flood - Sufferer 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
Inter Arma - 'sblood 
Soilwork - Realm Of The Wasted 
Toranaga - Hammer To The Skull 
Suffocation - Eminent Wrath 
Devourment - March To Megiddo 
Devourment - Today We Die, Tomorrow We Kill 
Six Feet Under - Fragment 
Lowkey - Seems Like Problems 
Raped Ape - Return To Nothing 
Mortillery - Madhouse 
Darkthrone - Dead Early 
Cancer Bats - War Pigs 
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Only got to enjoy the last two hours of the show this week, as Rick, Bill and myself had gone to see Nile at the Montage in Rochester.

Gotta say, Nile kicked ass. Will definitely have to check them out again sometime. In the interest of getting to the Onslaught, Rick and I had left after the first of their two sets, though.

We did get to hear a little bit of the Onslaught on the radio as we came back toward Geneva, which is usually fairly amusing, because you can generally hear the guys as they talk shit about you!

Yep, imagine my shock when I heard Joe say that he hates me...I was pretty bummed, but I didn't let it show. If anything, I was probably just as shocked to hear Azkath say that he actually likes me. I find that one kinda hard to swallow, especially in light of another pre-fabricated statement that he once again insists that I gave to him to read on my behalf.

So, here's the deal: This "statement" suggests that I'm going to come out on No Pants Day, displaying my Bronie-ism in a manner suitable for the occasion.

** What Azkath Read: I would like to provide a warning to all. This coming No Pants Day, I promise that I will not be any more pantless than I have in the past, but, and that is a big butt, I will finally admit to my bronyism, and let it flourish, it the most appropriate way possible for a No Pants Day celebration. You have been warned. I love you all. **

Yeah, that don't sound good at all. I mean, the whole Bronie thing is a pile o' crap anyway, I've pretty well established that. I can categorically say that there will be no Bronie-ing on No Pants Day. I'm just gonna throw on a pair of shorts and keep them on for the night. I'm letting someone else make an ass of themselves this year. Whatever happens, I WILL NOT be the one to blame! Mark my words!

And to make matters worse, Joe turned around and installed another chip in me. I swear, I've gotta stop dozing off on the show, because I'm gettin' a little tired of him tampering with my brain like that. I mean, this time he outfitted me with the "THX Chip"...

Yeah...THX...that wonderful sound sample you get to hear before certain movies. You know you've heard it...one of the most God-awful, annoying sounds in the world. I even spent a good portion of one of the final talk breaks imitating it. Wasn't hard, because every time music played, that's what I heard!

Azkath tried to help, but really didn't help at all. I guess he somehow felt he could beat the chip out of me somehow...but he just made matters worse. I mean, I can hear music, but it's always interspersed with that wretched THX sound...just terrible, really, really terrible...I guess that's what he gets for attempting to use electrocution to short out the chip. Not fun...seriously, I had smoke coming out of my ears for two days. Try explaining THAT at work...

With that being said, I've gotta say that this has without a doubt been the worst of the bunch. How I've maintained my sanity at work, or anywhere else for that matter, is completely beyond me...I just hope I can keep it together until the next installment, where I'm hoping Joe can take it out once and for all...


March 2, 2013 - Azkath's Revenge...

Krokus - Bailout Blues
Saxon - Crusader (Orchestrated Version)
Six Feet Under - Zombie Blood Curse
Black Mass - March To Hell
Stryper - Bleeding From The Inside Out
Rotting Christ - 666
Voodoo Circle - Heart Of Babylon
Raped Ape - Victim Of The Game
KMFDM - Animal Out
Rob Zombie - Dead City Radio
Alice In Chains - Hollow
Darkthrone - Valkyrie
Cancer Bats - NIB
Mourning Beloveth - Old Rope
Hatchet - Screams Of The Night
Blood Of The Sun - Burning On The Wings Of Desire
Lowkey - Devastation
Blood Tsunami - Grave Desecrator
Grief Of Emerald - Cage Of Pain
Finntroll - Can You Forgive Her
Burden My Surrender - Empty Rooms
Guns Of Moropolis - Prisoner Of War
Replacire - Slow Cuts Inside A Throat
Deep Purple - Stormbringer
Venom - Die Hard
Toranaga - Oh Well
October Falls - Boiling Heart Of The North
Within The Ruins - Absolute Hell
Gemini Syndrome - Pleasure And Pain
Soilwork - Owls Predict, Oracles Stand Guard
Lizzy Borden - Give 'Em The axe
M.O.R.G. - Devil Inside
Seplophile - Retribution
Suffocation - Cycles Of Suffering
Coroner - Sudden Fall
The Porridgeface - Deception Ignored
Deathchain - Tiamat's Eyes Of Death
Avenger Of Blood - Agressive Psychotic Behavior
Trouble - Run To The Light
Manilla Road - Only The Brave
Mortillery - Cease To Exist
Lowkey - Get Burned
Vinnie Vincent - Boyz Are Gonna Rock
Six Feet Under - Alive To Kill You
Doro - Hellraiser
Rotting Christ - Iwa Voodoo
KMFDM - Quake
Whiplash - The Burning Of Atlanta
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Had a couple of surprise visits throughout the evening, the most surprising being the arrival of Steve Papagiorgio, who we last saw leaving the Onslaught in a massive hurry. As you'll remember, Stave attempted to drop by last May.

On No Pants Day...

Yep, he didn't stick around long...

Cool seeing him, although we didn't get a chance to really question him about any current ventures (more like schemes...) he may or may not be involved in. Hoping we can pry into his brain a bit next time!

Lance also arrived, ironically just after we'd played a new track from Stryper, which wasn't terrible, as far as they go. One of those bands I'm usually on the fence about.

Speaking of Lance, he and I had both subjected the listening audience to our respective singing voices. It was an amusing segment, at least from our end.

Seriah Azkath was once again on hand, offering me a gift in the early going, supposedly to make up for the endless taunting he's been doing in recent weeks, constantly dangling the promise of minty fresh breath strips, sometimes directly under my nose.

Seems that my beating him down the previous week didn't sit well. The gift in question turned out to be a portable CD player, kinda old-school, but still useful, in the right hands.

Turned out these were the wrong hands, though...

Yep, and those wrong hands planted that thing directly to the side of my cranium...painfully...soon to be followed up with a fire extinguisher, which, as you can well imagine, was far worse than the discman...

And that pretty much sums up last week!

As for the next installment, look for Joe and Josh in the early going, along with Azkath, I would bet.

Rick and I should be showing up a little later, as we'll be in Rochester checking out Nile at the Montage Music Hall. Pretty sure we'll have plenty to say about this one once we get there!

February 23, 2013 - Randy vs Azkath

Listen Now



U.D.O. - Braindead Hero 

Savatage - Starlight 

Anthrax - Anthem 
Cancer Bats - Into The Void 
Bullet For My Valentine - Riot 
KMFDM - Quake 
Darkthone - Lesser Men 
Black Mass - Mountain Of Skulls 
Soilwork - Realm Of The Wasted 
Setiva - Sick Sinister 
Cold Steel - Blood Secrets 
Hatriot - And Your Children To Be Damned 
Crashdiet - Excited 
Setiva - Bury Me 
Hatebreed - Dead Man Breathing 
Soothsayer - Govern Me 
Zen Kura - Cyanide 
Riot - Outlaw 
The Beards - This Beard Stays 
Setiva - Hellmouth 
Gemini Syndrome - Left Of Me 
Finntroll - Blodsvept 
Hatchet - Signals Of Infection 
Sir Reg - 'Til The Dead Come Alive 
Blood Of God - Master Of The Dead 
Setiva - Purpose 
Call Of The Void - Napalm Lungs 
Hypocrisy - End Of Disclosure 
Mad Season - Locomotive 
Omnium Gatherum - Nightwalkers 
Megadeth - Hangar 18 
M.O.R.G. - Devil Inside 
Saxon - Wheels Of Terror 
Seplophile - Glassstorms 
The Porridgeface - Fire Fear Flames 
Ghost - Secular Haze 
Kongh - The Portals 
Avenger Of Blood - Centuries Of Hell 
Gibby Haynes - Horse Named George 
Psyche Corporation - Nightmares 
Flotsam And Jetsam - Ugly Noise 
Flotsam And Jetsam - Gittyup 
Manilla Road - Stand Your Ground 
Enforcer - Death Rides This Night 
Volume IV - Wager 
Victor Griffin's In-Graved - Love Song For The Dying 
Savatage - Chance 
Kiss - All American Man 
Maelstrom - Arise 
Voivod - Corps Etranger 
Recap by The Metal Wulf...
Gotta say, it was cool having some representation from Setiva on the show this past Friday night. Most of us have known Ferg since his days in Loopus, and we got to talk about some of those fun times, as well as the recent reformation of Setiva.
They'll be out and about doing some shows in the coming months, most notably the 4/20 show at Pineapple Jack's, which will likely have at least a couple of us in attendance. Gonna be a tough call, as that's also the same day as the Wounded Warrior's benefit show in Geneva. Hmmmmm...
Speaking of shows, there was some happy discussion regarding Testament's show in Buffalo the previous Sunday. Great sets from all the bands that played, yet sadly Overkill had to cancel due to Blitz's bout with pneumonia. Apparently it was bad enough that Overkill actually had to back out of the rest of the tour while Bobby recovers.
Still, if you haven't seen this show yet, don't let that deter you! Check 'em out!
So, as you'll remember, Joe had taken out the Abba chip so I'd be able to enjoy the Testament show, which I have to say I was immensely grateful for. The idea of hearing Chuck Billy singing "Fernando" was kind of frightening to me, to be honest.
But, I didn't end up getting off quite as lucky as I'd thought. At some juncture I must have briefly dozed off in between talk breaks, and somehow a new chip got placed in me.
And in it's own way, it sucks JUST AS BAD as the Abba chip. See, instead of hearing random ABBA songs whenever music plays...all I hear now is Gordon Lightfoot singing "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"...
Okay, admittedly, I've never really disliked this song. It's not like it's a bad song, but still...every time I hear music? All day long, while I'm at work...over and over and over...
Yup, I'm in hell, all over again...
I'd have to say that these circumstances probably contributed, at least in part, to my actions later in the show. For those who were listening, you know that Azkath was taunting me once again with his damned breath strips. Well, he pushed me a little too far, and I went off on him. I ended up throwing him into one of the corners, following it up with a running splash that should look pretty cool on video, once it's up. I tried going in for a Stink-Face after he crumpled to the floor, but he was able to avoid that particular indignity.
Things went back and forth from there, we basically beat the tar out of each other. But, in the end, I think I had him on the run...at least this time...
Eventually I DID end up with some breath strips, and well...things got a little weird from there. By weird I mean everybody's shirts and/or hoodies seemed so soft. Just couldn't stop touching fabric...never had that happen before...very strange experience...
Of course, nobody else seemed very receptive, and I can't say I can blame them. In retrospect, I'm not overly comfortable with that, either...
Note to self: Stay away from breath strips...even if they ARE minty fresh awesomeness...