February 16, 2013 - Randy Wants Breath Strips!

  • Published in 2013

Voivod - Mechanical Mind 
Destruction - Legacy Of The Past 
Maelstrom - A Futile Crusade 
Unbreakable Hatred - Years Of Violence 
Suffocation - Sullen Days 
Kongh - Sole Creation 
M.O.R.G. - Feelings 
Eye Of Solitude - Night's Dew 
Great White - Face The Day 
Druid Lord - Curse Of The Skull 
Saxon - Warriors Of The Road 
Orange Goblin - The Filthy & The Few 
Death - Altering The Future 
Deathrow - Watching The World 
Slammer - No Excuses 
Exodus - Within The Walls Of Chaos 
Flotsam & Jetsam - The Evil Sheik 
Sanctuary - Battle Angels 
Seplophile - Quarantined 
Gibby Haynes - Paul's Not Home 
Psyche Corporation - Whirring World 
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil 
Volume IV - Wager 
Manilla Road - Stand Your Ground 
Dark Throne - Leave No Cross Unturned 
Twelve Foot Ninja - Mother Sky 
Hatriot - Weapons Of Class Destruction 
2Cellos - Supermassive Black Hole 
Victor Griffin's In-Graved - Teacher 
Intronaut - Milk Leg 
Mothership - Angel Of Death 
Newsted - Skyscraper 
Zen Kura - The Warning 
The Beards - Why Having A Beard Is Better Than Having A Woman 
Nile - When My Wrath Is Done 
Killswitch Engage - In Due Time 
Dreamshade - Consumed Future 
Deathchain - Abzu Doom 
Neaera - Black Tomb 
Steel Panther - Fantasy 
U.D.O. - Desperate Balls 
Cold Steel - America Idle 
Clutch - Earth Rocker 
Lightning Swords Of Death - Cloven Shields 
The Porridgeface - Ancient Rider 
Black Drawing Chalks - Street Rider 
Recap from The Metal Wulf

Had Darrel Lake on hand to help promote the upcoming event, "Bring 'Em Home", a multi-band show to help benefit the Wounded Warrior Project at the American Legion in Geneva, NY on April 20. The show will feature a solid selection of local bands as well as some out-of-state talent, and should kick ass. Best of all, it's for a good cause! Pretty safe to say that at least a couple of us will be on hand!
Joe seemed to take a great deal of pleasure in the amount of suffering I'd been going through as a result of his implanting me with the Abba Chip.
It was bad, people. I'm dead serious when I say there are few things worse than hearing ABBA in every piece of music that makes it to your ear canal. Think I'm kidding? Television theme songs...radio of all varieties...the muzak system at work...all ABBA, all the time...
No shit, I was ready to power drill straight into my brain, from both ears... 
However, Joe WAS kind enough to turn the chip off for a brief amount of time, as we played the newest track from Darkthrone, which clocks in at almost fourteen minutes, and completely kicks ass. Looking forward to hearing the entire new disc once it's available. I'm thinking it could be an early contender for this year's Top 10...but, then, it really is far too early to say!
I was pretty much begging him to take the chip out, especially knowing that Rick, Josh, Bill, Erica, and myself were all headed to Buffalo to see Testament (along with Overkill, Flotsam & Jetsam, and 4Arm) at the Town Ballroom. I really wanted to enjoy that show, and the idea of hearing ABBA vocals emanating from Chuck Billy's throat just made me cringe... 
Things actually worked out well in the end, as Azkath was on hand, further taunting me with breath strips. He ended up pushing me a little too far, and I ended up mugging him, mercilessly, for his entire stash.
Yep, I devoured every last breath strip he had, after pummeling him and throwing him into some of the equipment, savoring the minty freshness for the rest of the evening.
Joe was so impressed by the amount of violence I directed at Seriah that he decided to cut me a break, deactivating the ABBA Chip, and allowing me to enjoy the concert in all it's Thrash-tastic goodness!
See, happy endings really do happen!
So, next installment, we'll be having Ferg and the rest of the boys from Setiva on hand. This should be a fun night to tune in, as most of us have known Ferg since his days in Loopus. Lookin' forward to this one! 

February 9, 2013 - Snowstorms and ABBA

  • Published in 2013

2Cellos - Technical Difficulties 

VoiVod - Empathy For The Enemy 
Destruction - Cynaide 
Destruction - Spiritual Genocide 
Joe Carpenter - Stormbringer 
Manilla Road - Hallowed Be Thy Grave 
Avenger Of Blood - Spawn Of Evil 
Enforcer - Death Rides This Night 
Death Tyrant - Baphomet 
Newsted - King Of The Underdogs 
Demon Hunter - I Am Stone 
Psyche Corporation - Pound Of Flesh 
Crest Of Darkness - Welcome To My Funeral 
High Priest Of Saturn - Crawling King Snake 
Soothsayer - Dark Star 
Kiss - She 
Volume IV - Kong 
Victor Griffin's In-Graved - Thorn In The Flesh 
Neuronspoiler - Through Hell We March 
Those Who Fear - Daggermouth 
Dynasty - Hard Pressed 
Abdicate - Cranial Collapse 
Death Wolf - Death Wolf March 
Hatriot - Blood Stained Wings 
Helloween - Waiting For The Thunder 
Spinal Tap - Christmas With The Devil 
Fist - Hot Spikes 
Crash Diet - Liquid Jesus 
The Beards - You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man 
Slammer - Johnny's Home 
Maelstrom - Predestined 
Cold Steel - Blood Secrets 
Static - X - I'm With Stupid 
Metal Church - Fake Healer 
Haiduk - Stormcall 
Seven Year Existence - Death Roll 
Swarm Of Arrows - Gravel And Gold 
Hate - Venom 
Clutch - Earth Rocker 
Alice In Chains - Hollow 
Mothership - Lunar Master 
Suffocation - As Grace Descends 
Ghost - Secular Haze 
To The Deep - Thrown From High 
Powermad - Absolute Power 
Angel - Tower 
Bornholm - Throne Of Crows 
Hatebreed - Indivisible 
Hemlock - The Masquerade 
Hemlock - Vendetta 
Recap by The Metal Wulf

Kind of a miracle that the show even happened on this evening, as the East Coast was being battered by a winter storm called Nemo...

Nemo...fucking Nemo...who names a storm Nemo?

I guess I get the whole nautical thing, Captain Nemo...Finding Nemo...but what the hell?

Pardon me if I seem just a trifle bitter toward our recent weather patterns. The fact is, had it not been for that piece of shit Nemo and some added accumulations courtesy of a large lake effect storm, I would have been in Rochester that night, along with Bill, Erica, Josh, Seriah Azkath, and Arydaea Insanity to see Doro Pesch, as well as possibly get an audio interview with her.

Yeah, I'm still pretty pissed, not that it does much good. I mean, you can shake your fist at the skies all you want, but let's face it, the only thing you're going to do is look like a complete ass...


When I found out the we were still on for the Onslaught, I initially decided to just hang back. I mean, we were under a State Of Emergency, after all. But then Joe called me, asked me why I was being such a puss, and threatened to kick me in the vagina.

Novel idea, considering I don't have one. Unless it's really, REEEEAAALLLY well hidden...

So, with that being said, we rode up and it was on with the show!

With the weather being what it was, there was some joking around going on about wearing each other like Tauntauns is any of us got stuck outside. It was pretty solidly decided that I'd be the one who smelled the worse on the inside, but that kinda goes without saying. To be honest, a further agreement suggested that I should just be used as a new form of bio-chemical weapon.

Getting back to the Bronie Bullshit, Joe had mentioned something about there being a whole new line of My Little Pony toys being released, along with a Pony Castle...

Seriously, not my thing. Not even remotely interested, don't believe a word of it...

I'd mentioned how I'd finally heard Ghost's cover of ABBA's "I'm A Marionette", which is going to be included on their upcoming new disc, entitled "Secular Haze".

It's a good track, suitably creepy to fit Ghost's style, yet I found myself wondering if I'd ever even heard the original. I couldn't for the life of me remember, so further searching on YouTube not only allowed me to hear that, but to also notice ABBA tracks that I hadn't heard since I was in my early teens...

How I despise admitting this...

Yes, I went ahead and listened to almost half an hour worth of ABBA tracks! I confess! And I even found songs I remember actually LIKING as a kid!

So, as a result, I've had "Take A Chance On Me" stuck in my head for almost a week at this juncture. Yeah, that's right, almost constantly since last Tuesday, no bullshit, that song keeps popping up in my brain.

It's drivin' me nuts, too. Well, crazier than I already was...

And to make matters worse, I can't even enjoy other music anymore, thanks to Joe. I'd dozed off in between talk breaks and apparently planted something in me he's calling the Abba Chip. This chip makes all music I hear sound like ABBA songs.

Don't believe me? Well, I tried listening to AC/DC not long ago, and all I heard was shit like "Fernando", "Waterloo", and fucking "Dancing Queen"...

I've been trying to find out where in my body this chip currently resides, with absolutely no luck. Believe me, I'm almost at a juncture where I'm ready to rip out some potentially important organs and/or body parts in order to get this thing out of me...

So, with that being said, hopefully there will be enough of me left to make it to the Onslaught on Friday, and hopefully I'll be able to enjoy some heavy freakin' metal by then!


February 2, 2013 - Randy's Withdrawal...

  • Published in 2013

    Circle II Circle - Never Gonna Stop
Angel - Long Time
Hatriot - Heroes Of Origin
Death Wolf - Snake Mountain

Ghost - Secular Haze
The Beards - Beard Related Song #38
Killswitch Engage - In Due Time
Mothership - Comic Rain
Local H - 2112 Overture/Temples Of Syrinx

Spater - Brady Bunch
Alice In Chains - Hollow
Newsted - Soldierhead
Clutch - Earth Rocker

Spater - Agony
Butthole Surfers - The Hurdy Gurdy Man
Sons Of Aeon - Cold Waves
Maelstrom - Predestined
Soothsayer - Back To Evil
Psychothermia - The Fight
Hatebreed - Honor Never Dies

Joe Carpenter - Country Girl
Grand Prix - Shout
Powermad - Nice Dreams
Ancient VVisdom - Deathlike
Heaven's Basement - Executioner's Day

Slammer - Hunt You Down
Cold Steel - Ashes To Ashes
Seplophile - Quarantine
Satanic Threat - Small God Big Cross
Evil Army - Ashes Of The Nuclear Fire
Spiritus Mortis - The Mighty One
The Modern Age Of Slavery - Arise

Bornholm - Valhalla
Hexen - Private Hell
Shai Hulud - Monumental Graves
Dreamshade - Consumed Future
Mutiny Within - Falls To Pieces

Hate - Hatchhammer
Flame - Rain
Riotor - Nuclear Solution
Reanimator - The Desolator
vatican - Hope
Dynasty - Death Solution
Those Who Fear - Daggermouth
Point Blank Rage - Paranoid Fist

Mustach - Never Too Late
Cry Wolf - Road To Ruin
Deathrow - The Deathwish
The Bronx - Youth Wasted
Spinal Tap - Break Like The Wind

The Beards - Got Me A Beard   
Recap by The Metal Wulf
So, the main order of business on this evening was the announcement of the confirmed bands for this year's edition of Finger Lakes MetalFest. Spater's Dave Henninger was on hand, as always, to make the announcement, and here is the standing list of confirmed bands for the show:
Spater, Stone Soul Foundation, Lowkey, Steel Kingdom, Mercia, Poetry In Black, Abhor, Stygian, Cassidy Has Cholera, Dawn Of The Apocalypse, Concrete Slacks, Ire Clad, Disfigured Dead, HorseFace, Tonight We Feed, and Ripped Apart.

Two more bands are still to be announced, for a total of 18 bands as opposed to 20, but we're still looking at hours of awesome music on two stages, and it will be emceed by the Metallic Onslaught. Still going to be a blast, I guarantee it!
Moving along...
MetalFest isn't the only big event slowly approaching as we get closer to May. We're actually just a hair under three months away from No Pants Day. A brief discussion regarding that pretty much cemented the conclusion that this year it's going to be known as MORE Pants Day, at least as far as I'm concerned. 
Okay, I understand the concern. I pretty much have traumatized them for two years running. Don't believe me, I'll be happy to provide some YouTube links for ya. 
Still, it's not that big of a deal. I'm pretty sure I can sit this year out, I'll wear jeans if I have to, or just a pair of shorts. No boxers or man-kini's for me this year, I promise! 
Joe had returned to us from his vacation in Florida. I'm sure he was just thrilled to come back from a week of watching dolphins frolicking to temperatures in the single digits...
No Jeffie, though, which brought up the question of what did Joe do to him this time? I mean, Joe insists that there was no Jeffie on this trip, but then he said the same thing about New Orleans, before he admitted to pushing Jeffie into a gator-filled swamp.
Personally, I don't see where this is a problem. I'm actually picturing a fishing boat with a large chum bucket filled with Jeffie pieces, being used to bait sharks...
I LIKE that image!
Confusion ensued when Seriah Azkath suddenly went on about his tongue burning. Turns out he'd popped a breath strip into his mouth, and it ended up on the tip of the tongue instead of the middle.
Of course, the tip is always more sensitive...
(Yeah, we had a HUGE laugh over that while we were off the air...)
Well, next thing you know, we were all trying breath strips, and oddly enough Azkath, Josh, and myself were experiencing some crazy, trippy side effects. Yeah, things got nuts, to say the least...
Then there was the crash. Yup, we came down pretty hard, headaches all around, craving more strips.
As a matter of fact, Azkath insisted that he didn't have any more, and had actually taken the very last three.
But during the final talk break, he ended up consuming four more!
Needless to say, I'd gone insane from withdrawal, and proceeded to pursue him throughout the studio, more or less out for blood if I couldn't get breath strips... 
And that was pretty much how the evening concluded!
So, the next installment looks like it's going to be just Rick and Joe, along with guests Sanjuro Fields. Hell of a band and a very cool bunch of guys, by the way. Be sure to tune in!
As for Azkath, Arydaea, Josh, and myself, we'll be in Rochester that night to see Doro Pesch at the Montage! I've waited a loooong damned time to see this lady play live, and I'm not missing it for the world! 

December 8, 2012 - Roller Girls, Birthdays and Ponies!

  • Published in 2012
Listen to the Show

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Badlands - Winter's Call
Trouble - Tragedy Man
Troubled Horse - Another Mans Name
Orden Ogan - Angels War

CJSS - Ready
Doro - Raise Your Fist In The Air
Druid Lord - Awaken By The Dead
Earthship - Old Widow's Gloom
Mammoth Mammoth - (Up All Night) Demons To Fight

Cult Of Luna - I: The Weapon
Hatebreed - Put It To The Torch
Hanzel Und Gretyl - Ironstar Outlaws
Children Of Technology - Mayhemic Speed Anarchy

The Gates Of Slumber - Blessed Pathway To the Celestial Kingdom
Erupted - Path Of Perdition
Death - Spiritual Healing
Dimmu Borgir - The Maelstrom Mephisto
Unleashed - Odalheim

Hate - Solarflesh
The Gardnerz - Transilvanian Hunger
Daemonicus - Inhabited
Bane - Light The Black Flame
Bane - The Truth Unleashed
Type O Negative - Black No. 1

Saxon - Broken Heroes
Sacred Reich - Ignorance
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Mortiferous Scorn - Bottom Feeder
Audrey Horne - There Goes A Lady
Galadriel - Still Not Dead Enough

Wednesday 13 - Halloween 13-13
Postmortem - Falling From Hell
Dr. Living Dead! - Mental Warzone
Hellbringer - Bell Of The Antichrist
Die Hard - Sanctify The Morbid
Wintersfear - Black Dolphin
Aeon - Still They Pray
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Piled Up For The Scavengers

King Diamond - At The Graves
Sepultura - Desperate Cry
Slayer - Criminally Insane
Devo Spice - In The 80's
H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society - Harley Got Devoured By The Undead
Daemonicus - Nothing But Death
Abhor - Wings Of Chaos

Triumph - When The Lights Go Down


Recap by The Metal Wulf

For the most part, it was a fun evening, but things got a little frustrating for me by the time the night was over. More on that in a bit, though...

So, we were celebrating three separate birthdays, as Lance, Josh, and Rick all had them during the course of the week.

A friend of Rick's was kind enough to provide a thoroughly delicious marble cake, complete with black icing and a red Pentagram design on top. Our kind of cake, without a doubt!

We had roller derby girls on the show, this time representing the newly formed Finger Lakes Lunachicks. In fact, we were only expecting a handful of girls to visit, but what was supposed to have been three turned into expecting a few more, and by the time it was all said and done, we had fifteen ladies in the studio, all there to support their team. Pretty damned cool, I must say.

I'm personally very excited at the prospects of actually having a team to represent our region, now. I'm even happier to say that these ladies seem more than content to have me represent as the team mascot.

Can you say WarWulf?

So, the evening took a turn for the weird after the arrival of Azkath.

Yeah, the moment finally arrived when he read the stupid "earthshaking" confession that was supposely prepared by me. I had no idea what to expect, but when it was all said and done, the the crap that started spewing forth was just plain ridiculous, even for OUR show...

So, according to this prepared statement that I was supposedly "too afraid to read", I am what is called a "Bronie"...

Honestly? What the FUCK is a Bronie? ** READ THIS FOR MORE DETAILS **

Apparently, a Bronie is a guy who is a fan of the My Little Pony cartoon series as well as the line of toys.

Apparently, it even goes beyond guys just being "fans", as in some extreme cases it crosses the border into fetishism...

Now, I'm not one to judge folks based on what turns them on, within reason. Hell, I could even understand the whole cartoon character thing...a HUMAN cartoon character, that is...say, a Wilma Flintstone fetish...or a Jessica Rabbit fetish...

Get where I'm coming from?

So, with that being said, take it from me. I've NEVER known anybody who even OWNED a My Little Pony...I've NEVER seen a single episode of the series...and, I don't find the stupid toys even REMOTELY CUTE!!!

End of story, no Bronies here!


I, Randy Smith, have something to admit to all of you. This will be hard, but I do feel that it is an important part of my personality, and something that I wish you share with all of you. It means a lot to me, and it makes me who I am. In every possible way. It may be shocking, but in time, I feel that I can convert you all. So in conclusion, I Randy Smith, don't want you to look at me THAT differently because of all this. So, that's it I guess, oh, right, forgot to tell you. I am a Brony. That's right. I LOVE My Little Pony in the very best ways. The innocence. The love. The sexiness. So please, join me in my celebration of the greatness that is My Little Pony!

So, next week will probably be relatively calm, as Josh and Rick will be attending the Killswitch Engage/Shadows Fall show in Buffalo.

Joe and I, along with Lance, will still be on hand to entertain the masses! In fact, if I remember correctly, we should even see the return of Tim Binder, who will probably be back for a few weeks. Should be a good time, so tune on in!


December 24, 2011 - Azkath's Twisted Xmas Show

  • Published in 2011

Seriah Azkath hosts an Apocalyptic Xmas Show... Enjoy...

Green Carnation "Light of Day, Day of Darkness - Part 1"

HPLHS "Have Yourself a Scary Little Solstice"
King Diamond "No Presents for Christmas"
TV's Kyle "All I Want for Christmas is Stuff"
Fields of the Nephilim "Chord of Souls"
Sacrifice "Flames of the End"
HPLHS "Death to the World"

Worm Quartet "A Worm Quartet Christmas"
Carnivore "Armageddon"
Robert Lund "Undead Elves"
Iperyt "A Pocket Sized Armageddon"
HPLHS "Harley Got Devoured by The Undead"
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum "Bring Back the Apocalypse - Live"
Kekal "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"


December 17, 2011 - Xmas Show

  • Published in 2011

Recap written by Randy Smith, aka MetalWulf

Disclaimer: I would like to note that at no point in my life have I ever taken part in anything that resembled "Roller Boogie", and have never had anything remotely resembling an afro. I hated Solid Gold, and thought Deney Terrio was a pussy. Thank you very much... Due to the fact that next week's edition of The Metallic Onslaught is going to be pre-recorded, we celebrated Christmas on the show last night. In fact, I had it on good faith that a visit from Satan Claus was imminent. C'mon, do you honestly think the guy wouldn't eventually show up, after being discussed on the show for who knows how long? More on that in a bit!

There was another episode of Stryper denial on my part, as Joe passed along news that he'd seen one of their posters at a local thrift shop. Honestly, not interested, but I can say that until I'm blue in the face, and I'll still got ragged on for actually going to see them live way back when. Trust me, I'm well aware that I'll never be able to live that down. Still, in the interest of making a dart board, I may just invest in that damned poster, anyway...

Metallica had dropped a new 4-song EP earlier in the week called Beyond Magnetic. In a nutshell, they're all songs that didn't quite make the cut for the Death Magnetic album. After hearing "Rebel Of Babylon"  played last night, I can kind of understand why these songs were put on the backburner. I mean, the song wasn't terrible, but it didn't exactly floor me, either. It's honestly been many years since I can honestly say that I've been floored by anything Metallica has done...
Ironically, the newest Megadeth disc HAS floored me. Kinda says something, doesn't it?


December 10, 2011 - Russian Roulette Birthdays

  • Published in 2011

Recap by The Metal Wulf

We celebrated Rick and Josh's birthdays this week with a Roulette show, but did it a little differently this time. More on that in a bit, though!

So, I don't know what the deal was, but somebody's got a weird sense of humor. On the lines of "Ha ha, it's the night before the full moon, so we're gonna mess with Randy some more". Now, it's been well established that I'm NOT REALLY A WOLF, dammit! I mean, don't people feel it's enough that I've had to cope with actually DYING AND BEING CLONED! Isn't that bad enough? But, noooo, once again I found myself all furry and fanged after blacking out periodically. I hope someone's having fun with all that super glue they're using as they go through all this trouble to mess with my head! But, yeah, we had a little "Full Moon Madness" in conjunction with the birthday hijinks. It all just added to the chaos, as you'll soon see...

So, eventually Azkath arrived with Foul Mouth Girl and Kal from the Last Exit in tow. Ironically, Kal's birthday was Saturday, so he actually turned 18 while on our show! FMG was joking that we only had a limited time to take advantage of Kal before he turned "legal", but nobody was up for that kind of action. Sorry, Kal, nothin' personal...


December 3, 2011 - The Isotopes Live

  • Published in 2011
Recap by Randy Smith, aka MetalWulf or Wulfie.
Disclaimer: Any suggestion that was made Friday night that the Demon Azkath may have wi-fi in his sack is purely speculative... at least, I sure hope so, 'cuz that would just be really, REEEEAAALLLY weird...  So, this week's installment of the Onslaught was pretty much dominated by a visit from Rochester instrumental rock act, The Isotopes. Now, I got to see these guys play during halftime at a roller derby bout, so I knew they were good. Old school guitar rock, very much in the style of 60's icon Dick Dale. At least, that's what they reminded me most of. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they could up the heaviness level appreciably when they played live in our studio. No bull, it was a good time. Hope they can drop in again sometime, and maybe bring their go-go dancers along for the visit. I highly recommend them, so check 'em out if you get the chance!
As for that video footage, you'll also get to see Azkath beating the crap out of me. Okay, I suppose I had it coming. Once the band was done performing, I'd mentioned that I wasn't sure if it was Jeffie or Azkath that was in the studio, and, well... somebody got really upset by that... and the beatdown commenced.
And culminated with a big stack of records falling on my head, leaving a nice selection of paper cuts for my trouble. Oh well, I've had worse things happen...
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