Seriah Azkath

October 17, 2014

RandyDrill

Playlist

Nachtblut "Schwarz"
A Breach of Silence "Hang Em High"
Doombringer "Grand Sabbath Reaps Souls"

Exodus "BTK"
Goremathon "Land of the Lost"
Godflesh "Deadend"
Doomed and Disgusting "Unleash the Vampire"
Anaal Nathrakh "Rage and Red"

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February 7, 2015 - Yesterday's Saints Interview

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Recap by The Metal Wulf;

So, once again, Azkath and Joe were going head to head over the whereabouts of the still-missing chair. I can understand Azkath's concern, because who the hell knows what kind of mayhem could come about if some poor Gurney resident finds it and accidentally finds out it's true nature?
Bad things, man...bad things...
We also featured a Skype interview with Matt Rice of Washington, D.C.-based Yesterday's Saints. We're all pretty impressed with this band and recommend them highly. Check 'em out!
Joe seemed to think he caught me actually picking boogers and eating them. Don't know where that came from, I certainly have no recollection of any such behavior, but man, he just couldn't let it go. I mean, yes, at one point of the evening, I DID have a bit of an annoying itch on the tip of my nose, and I was scratching it lightly, but there were certainly no picking and/or eating involved. 
Personally, I think Joe just spent way too much time hanging out with Jeffie in Florida. That experience will mess with anybody's perceptions...
We also discussed the appearance of what appeared to be another Josh at the recent Sons Of Sabbath show at Suzy's Tavern in Auburn, NY the previous Saturday night. In fact, this isn't the first time this has occurred. This is actually the THIRD occurrence of us finding another Josh! The last time around there was a referee at a local UWF (Ultimate Wrestling) event who looked just like him. Josh seems a little close-mouthed about this phenomenon, which makes me wonder if he's been tampering with forces beyond his understanding...as in whatever it is that Azkath uses to continue making clones of Jeffie and myself...
As a matter of fact, there's another matter that I should address here. Josh and Jeffie seem to have been bonding an awful lot lately, possibly developing into something of a "bro-mance", as it has come to be called in recent years. It's really confusing for the rest of us, because for the most part Jeffie just makes us want to pound our heads against the walls...or better yet, pound HIS head against the walls...
Of course, I have very little room to talk. Wasn't terribly long ago that I actually considered Jeffie one of my best friends as well, but a couple years ago he followed Joe to Florida (he does that a lot...) and went shark fishing without me! Still pisses me off, because I LOVE to fish, and don't get to do it nearly often enough, and I think shark fishing would be a pretty damned cool experience! But, no, Jeffie went without me, and I've been holding that grudge for a bit.
Funny how that whole debacle got twisted over the last couple years from shark fishing to shark FISTING...and then to SHART fisting...and eventually evolving into "shart fistishing"...
Anyhoo, all I can say is that Josh had better watch his back, because I think it's only going to be a matter of time before Jeffie abandons him, as well!
 

Playlist

Gehennah - Four Knuckle Facelift
Taake - Stank
Cyrax - Cockroach

Primitive Man - Downfall
Dehuman - Crypts of Blood
Frosthelm - Tomb Of Sordid Ruin
Heavydeath - Eat The Sun
Devathorn - Principles Of Chaos

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January 30, 2015 - Joe is Back...

Recap by Randy MetalWulf...
Well, the show began with us expressing more concern over the absence of our long-suffering host, Joe Wyatt. Thankfully, that concern was short-lived, as he FINALLY made an appearance during our second talk break.
So, what exactly happened with that whole debacle with the chair that was not JUST a chair?
Well, it seems that the chair made a beeline for someplace called Gurney. I should note that nobody knew precisely where Gurney was, but a bit of Google research revealed that it's actually in Wisconsin. Of course, nobody knows WHY the chair seemed to be programmed to travel to Gurney, but that's where it went, and it seems that it's also where Joe lost Jeffie.
As for Joe, he managed to make his way to Florida. Sadly, the peace of his impromptu vacation was short lived, as Jeffie arrived a couple days later. And, the crazy part is, Joe actually went on record to state that he and Jeffie ALMOST had fun!
Yeah, that boggles the mind, I know...
Apparently Jeffie proceeded to make an utter nuisance of himself while in Florida, parading around in swimwear that Joe described as being straight out of the movie, Borat. Now, that was painful enough to imagine, but he then told us that Jeffie was wearing it BACKWARD.
Makes ya want to bust out a gallon or two of Eye Bleach, doesn't it?
Other exploits included Jeffie attempting to ride a dolphin, which I have to admit would quite possibly have been amusing to watch, even somewhat cute...until you take a moment to ponder exactly what was meant by "ride". I mean, with Jeffie, you just never know. And, apparently, he also attempted to jump from a pier onto a passing mermaid, who was not a mermaid,which I can't imagine went well for either of them.
So, once the story was out, there seemed to be a bit of developing hostility between Joe and Seriah Azkath. After all, the chair was (and is) still among the missing. Hate to think that one of us may actually have to take a mid-winter trip to Wisconsin just to reclaim it. Hopefully the two of them can resolve this issue in the coming weeks!

I have some very fuzzy memories regarding some other developments that night, having to do with my bouts of gassiness. I vaguely remember moments where I'd passed a bit of gas and being utterly terrified, almost as if a million spiders had been dumped on top of me. And, regular listeners know that I am not overly fond of arachnids, so you can only imagine the terror I must have been experiencing!
But, at another moment, it seemed that I was perfectly capable of farting without fear...which didn't go over so well with the other guys. As it stands now, I'm terrified of farting at all...as if a million spiders are about to descend upon me. You can't even imagine the discomofort of holding it all in for an extended period...

The only other matter of relevance I feel I should bring up has to do with the after-effects of eating the jerky that had been made from my previous body, after it had been possessed by Satan. The previous show had ended with me seeing items rimmed with assorted shades of Hellfire, and horns starting to protrude from my chest. Well, imagine my horror when I finally got home and a twisted little form pulled itself out of my chest cavity...not to mention the horror when that little form started running around my apartment, getting into no end of mischief.
I've since named that little form Damon, and have pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I may have given birth to the Antichrist.
Yep, just when ya thought the show couldn't get any weirder!

Playlist

Generichrist - Taste Of Death
Perdition Temple - Scythes Of Antichrist
Ergot - The Weeping Willow

Savage Machine - Fifth Computerworld
Nepente - I Will Get Your Soul
Gehenna - Lead To The Pyre
Abominator - Indomitable Master
Putrid Offal - Rotted Flesh

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January 23, 2015 - Randy eats Randy...

Recap by Randy the Metalwulf...

Gotta say, this night was possibly one of the most bizarre evenings in recent Metallic Onslaught history. Really, I'm a little uncertain as to where to start...
Well, to begin with, there was absolutely no sign of Joe or Jeffie. Not that we really missed Jeffie, mind you, but considering how the previous show ended we couldn't help but wonder just what the hell the two of them were up to...or where in the world they had ended up. I mean, honestly, NOBODY expected that chair to do anything but what chairs are meant for, know what I mean?
Azkath had mentioned that the chair had been designed by Last Exit For The Lost co-host EVD (Evil Villainous Dude), and Josh proceeded to remark that EVD was a genius. Azkath then clarified further that EVD was more like a mad scientist...
Anyhow, that show ended with Joe firing that chair up and taking off for God knows where, with Jeffie barely latching onto it before takeoff. Honestly, I don't even know if we'll see them again! Although, I will say that it was somewhat of a relief to know that, wherever they were, Joe was able to get the week's newest music selections to Azkath in a timely manner.
So, at least we know he was still in one piece to be able to do that!
Azkath shared some audio from The Last Exit For The Lost, taken from a segment from my birthday show. We hadn't done a balloon room in awhile, so I spent a good portion of that evenng blowing up balloons to fill up one of the sound booths in the new WVBR studios. Thankfully, I did get some help from Justjoe, Arydaea, and Olivia, vocalist for Undead Messengers. Much appreciated, actually, 'cuz it's a bit strenuous blowing up dozens upon dozens of balloons. Good thing I'd quit smoking, otherwise I probably would have passed out in a dead faint before the real fun began...
Anyhow, we'd been taking turns going into the balloon-filled booth, with Azkath monitoring us from the main studio. Olivia and her main squeeze, Tim (drummer for Undead Messengers) were ranting about something lurking in the room with them, mentioning something about "Santa". Weirder than you'd expect to be honest, considering Christmas has been pretty much done and over for a month now. I mean, what the hell would Santa be doing hanging out in a balloon-filled booth?
So, when my turn came, I played along, not believing for a moment that there was really anything in there with me.
How wrong I was...
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