So, this week saw our long-suffering host, Joe Wyatt, return to form as he had finally conquered his bout of the plague. Yep, Joe was healthy as a horse this week, back and ready to kick ass! Rick had also overcome his own bout, and I'm happy to say that, as of this writing, Josh and I have been able to avoid getting sick.

Jeffie, on the other hand, hadn't fared quite so well. As a matter of fact, it was a fresh Jeffie clone that joined us this week, as his prior incarnation had succumbed to the plague. Yes, you read that right, we had a Jeffie death and didn't even know it!

The newest Jeffie was still sick, and spent a good portion of the evening downing bottles of cough syrup, when he wasn't sneezing all over the place and dowsing us with snot. At one point he'd sneezed so hard that he claimed that some giblets fell out. Personally, I didn't see this happen, and I'm pretty damned glad for that.

Anyhow, as you can well imagine, Jeffie on cough syrup didn't pan out so well, as he spent the majority of the night hallucinating. And not only was he hallucinating, he was playing with hammers as well, even going so far as engaging Joe in a hammer fight.

Honestly, while all that was going on, I was thinking, "Hell, better them than me!"

But, Jeffie still felt the need to abuse me toward the end of the evening when he decided it might be a fun idea to mummify my head...with a VERY long roll of measuring tape. Silly jackass almost sliced my nose off with it, too. Not one of the more comfortable experiences I've encountered, quite frankly.

And to make matters worse, they're still talking about handing me over to the clan of Bigfeets, which is just weird, anyway. I mean, there are definitely packs of coyotes roaming about our new digs, but I refuse to believe for one moment that I'm going to end up getting passed around to a bunch of sasquatches for "sexy time", as Jeffie refers to it.

Honestly, I'll worry more about bumping into those coyotes...

 

- Randy MetalWulf

Our opening set of music consisted mostly of Twisted Sister tracks, in honor of their late drummer, A.J. Pero, who I'm sad to say passed just one short week ago. Always had a great deal of love and respect for Twisted Sister, and his passing is a sad one for many of us

 

Our long-suffering host, Joe Wyatt, was suffering a bit more this week, as he'd come down with a case of the plague. Even shared the story about how he got sick. Seems he had a run-in with a couple of moldy pieces of marble loaf cake. Obviously, he didn't realize they were moldy at first, but it was too late. Seems he's allergic to mold, and this apparently affected his immune system in a negative manner, opening him up to all kinds of nasal ickiness.

Naturally, it was a bit of a chore for him to speak as a result, but he held up pretty well. The guy's a trooper, I'll give him that!

 

Jeffie shared an interesting story about an airplane that had to turn around after a passenger used the, ummmm...facilities...and stank the entire plane up. Y'know it's bad when they literally have to reroute a flight...

Jeffie seems to think that I was the passenger, and while, yes, I did on ONE occasion, stink up WEOS badly (it permeated the entire studio...), I can assure you all that I have NEVER in my life flown...anywhere... 

Sorry, Jeffie, I'm not the guilty party!

 

After last weeks indignities (Jeffie took a cheese grater to my head...well, BOTH my heads, actually...), I made it very clear that I'd like to beat him to the point where Azkath won't be able to send us another clone of him for at least a year.

Doesn't mean I'll get the chance, of course, but man, I sure would LOVE to do that... 

To make matters worse, Joe went so far as to suggest that I'd like to have a nail gun used on me next, and there was also something mentioned about sacrificing me to Satan...again...

In fact, it was suggested that perhaps they'd nail me to my chair, more or less effectively crucifying me, before sacrificing me to Satan... 

Really, guys? Once was enough! Bad enough you took my corpse the last time around and turned it into demon-possessed jerky...

And, on top of that, they got talking about summoning Sasquatches...in the interest of me having "Sexy Time With Bigfoot".

Honestly, why do I stick around this scene? It isn't bad enough that they want to sacrifice me or staple me to burning tables, oh hell no, now they want me to get molested by  cryptozoological monstrosities! 

Besides...everybody knows there's no such thing as Bigfoot...that's just silly...

 

- Randy MetalWulf

 

Well, the highlights for this week were two interviews that Joe and I conducted last week when Carmine and Vinny Appice's DrumWars show rolled into Waterloo, NY. Not only did we get to sit down with Carmine and Vinny, we also got to talk for a bit with guitarist Ethan Brosh, a remarkable talent in his own right.

You can check both interviews out on my YouTube page (Randy MetalWulf), as well as some fun performance clips from that show.

 

Jeffie was once again back, doing what he does best...annoying the hell out of us...

Okay, he went above and beyond annoying on this night, to be perfectly honest. There had been a brief discussion in between talk breaks about ECW, 'cuz we're a bunch of wrestling geeks, and I'd said something about how brutal it was to see Tommy Dreamer get a cheese grater rubbed across his forehead by the Dudley Boyz. Joe brought this up in a roundabout manner by saying that I WANTED to have the same thing done to me, which is about as far from the truth as he's ever gotten.

Of course, Jeffie will believe anything that he hears, so it wasn't too much later that he came back into the studio with a cheese grater...a RUSTY cheese grater...and he proeeded to shred the bejesus out of my forehead. He'd also mentioned that he thought it may have been the same cheese grater that the Almighty Monkey had once used to circumcise himself, which really didn't make me feel better about the whole procedure. As a matter of fact, Jeffie went ahead and attempted to  circumcise ME with it...which was an exercise in futility, because that little matter had been tended to LONG ago. By the time he was done, BOTH of my heads looked like raw hamburger, and I was bleeding profusely.

To make matters worse, the damned cheese grater got stuck in my forehead at one point, and that jackass swung a cookie sheet at me to knock the freakin' thing loose. THAT little stunt peeled my scalp back like a banana, causing more bleeding, and more pain.

But wait, that wasn't all!

Jeffie then decided he needed to cleanse the wound with rubbing alcohol, and then patch my head up with duct tape.

Yeah...big help, there, jackass...

Good thing I've been cloned and can heal pretty fast now. Can you imagine the kind of scars that would actually leave?

Ewwwww...

 

I don't remember much about the rest of that final segment, aside from the fact that we were getting ready to play a track from an incredible death metal band called Alkaloid, which I'd jokingly referred to as Arkanoid, being the gaming geek that I am. Somehow Arkanoid got compared to Dig Dug, and that's where things get a bit hazy in my memory, because every time I hear the name Dig Dug, I want to start thumping bibles and preaching hellfire and brimstone sermons...

Honestly, I don't remember a damned thing above and beyond that... 

 - Randy MetalWulf

 

It was Friday the 13th, so the show once again opened with Joe's favorite Alice Cooper track.

Really...don't let the guy fool ya, he's been in denial about it for years. He LOVES that freakin' song...

 

Rick and I took a moment to talk about the recent show at the Montage in Rochester featuring former Marilyn Manson and current Rob Zombie guitarist John 5. He's been out recently on his first ever solo tour, and completely blew us away. There is so much more to this guy's talent than you can hear on either Manson's or Zombie's albums. I highly recommend checking out his solo material, he is truly a gifted musician.

 

Jeffie was on hand once again, being as annoying as ever. He seemed to have it in his head that the character of Baymax in the animated film "Big Hero 6" was somehow modeled after me. Personally, I don't see the resemblance...

Things got pretty tasteless after Joe referred to Jeffie as a porch dick. Don't ask me what the hell that's actually supposed to mean, but Jeffie seemed to think it was some kind of detective. So, he took it upon himself to investigate Azkath's porch. Joe had asked him if he'd found any poop, which led to...things that just shouldn't be discussed on the air...ewwwww...

Of course, things didn't improve once we got into a discussion involving a black metal band called Anal Vomit. I'm still a bit miffed at Josh for thinking I was the one talking about eating my own anal vomit when it was clearly Jeffie who made that remark.

Dammit Josh!

 

Rick took a few moments to take part in an interview with Colin Busse of Rochester, NY's Abhor, who recently released a new album, and we've been featuring tracks from it pretty heavily over the past few weeks. Highly recommended stuff!

 

Joe and I took some time to discuss our interview with Carmine and Vinny Appice, who as of Thursday the 12th had brought their Drum Wars show to little ol' Waterloo, NY. I'm happy to say that the interview went very well, and I can't wait for everybody to hear it when it airs on next week's show! As for the show itself, all I can say is it was incredible to get to see two of my idols, both certifiable legendary musicians in their own right, in such an intimate setting. Trust me...it doesn't get much more intimate than Lizards Tailgator Lounge!

 

Things got really weird as the night wore on. I mean, that's pretty much the norm on the Metallic Onslaught. Weird is pretty much our thing, above and beyond the music. But...

Let's put it this way. Jeffie freaked us out a bit. He started tampering with aspects of the show that nobody should have influence over. 

Case in point, he made us talk backward! EVERY ONE OF US!!!! I don't know how he did it, but he did, and it was CREEEEPY! He even claimed he'd make the whole show run backward if we weren't nice to him!

And then he started making Joe's voice speed up! Absolutely no natural explanation for any of it, Joe just started sounding like he should be accompanied by David Seville, as well as Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.

Yeah, this is freakin' me out just thinking about it. Who knows what else Jeffie is capable of?

 

- Randy MetalWulf