This show came along following the End Of Summer Metal Meltdown in Clyde, NY. Happy to say it was a solid event, with a great turnout, which really comes as no surprise, considering the fan base in our area. Always good to see people coming together to support local music!

Josh and I had been sharing out some Archway cookies on this evening, although Nathan seemed to be feeling guilty about indulging himself. Honestly, considering that he weighs less than 50 pounds and could potentially get blown all the way to Oz in a stiff breeze, I don't think a few cookies were going to really be a problem for our Brony friend. Joe did take a bit of offense when Nathan started eyeing his cherry pie, even making the obvious Warrant reference. Joe wasn't havin' it, though, and suggested that perhaps Nathan could eat the box...as it turns out, this was likely one of the dirtiest double-entendres in Metallic Onslaught history. Pretty sure none of us have a problem eating the box, Joe!

We were actually a little concerned about Nathan's well-being, considering all the damage he'd been put through in recent weeks. I mean, between getting Spanky's horn rammed up his ass (yes, it's confirmed, that horn went straight into the ol' starfish...), and then all the punishment we'd dealt him the prior week, well, it's only natural that the guy may not have been feeling up to snuff. I think we all felt bad for an entire two minutes, and then got on with the show...

Somehow Babymetal got mentioned, and we were reminded that Joe has still not been exposed to them. Luckily, Josh is almost never without his laptop, so we found some YouTube content. Sadly, the video just sat there buffering, so Joe was unable to take in said YouTube content. Which is a shame, because love 'em or hate 'em, you really need to see it to fully appreciate it.

Azkath had gotten it into his head that I would show my skills as a stuntman on this evening by throwing myself off the top of the barn. As a matter of fact, the way he put it was that we were going to have "Shove-You-Off-The-Roof-Happy-Fun-Time". I think it should go without saying that I wasn't buying it for a second. Oddly enough, and I don't remember how this happened, I ended up taking a warm-up plunge from the roof of our current recording space. I believe I ended up landing on a metal table, and was pretty sure I'd broken a number of bones. In fact, my right arm in particular seemed to have been damaged horrifically...yet I was in no pain. In fact, it was only a short time before it seemed like the arm was completely healed! Weird how that happens...but not as weird as Azkath's suggestion that perhaps the pain was a figment of my imagination. He, in fact, went so far as to suggest that perhaps they were all figments of my imagination...which is just silly...

As for the barn, I swore up and down all night that there was going to be absolutely NO jumping off. I mean, not only is it one hell of a climb to the top of that damned thing, but there are also numerous coyotes roaming about Azkath's domain, and rumor has it that they've somehow been acquiring meth. Now, I don't know about you, but climbing to the top of a barn while meth coyotes are nipping at my heels is NOT my idea of a good time! And this is where I things get weird again...I have vague memories of being on top of the barn, but no idea how I got up there. Thankfully, I don't remember seeing any meth coyotes...yet, I do seem to remember falling and hitting some steps...and then...nothing...

Yet, here I am, typing this recap, so maybe it really was all a figment of my imagination!

- Metal Wulf

We had David Henninger join us this week for a bit of last-minute promoting for the End Of Summer Metal Meltdown show at Donselaar's in Clyde, NY. This show was actually considered to be a "part 2" to Finger Lakes Metal Fest, and featured a solid lineup of ten local bands. All said and done, it was a great way to cap the summer off!

I got my balls busted a bit for taking in a Salt N' Pepa performance while visiting the NY State Fair. As a matter of fact, Azkath suggested that I may have outdone myself, having seen a potentially worse show than Jackyl five years ago. Truth is, my girlfriend and I were enjoying a bit of lunch in the vicinity of Chevy Court (where the show took place), and we decided to check it out for a bit...and ended up watching the whole thing! Okay, so it ain't metal. Truth is, I'm not the only person on the Metallic Onslaught who's been to a hip-hop show, and Salt N' Pepa actually came from a time frame where I didn't really dislike that kind of music...at least, not as much as I do these days. But, in all honesty, Rick and Josh have been to hip-hop shows that could be considered to measure higher on the bad-ass scale, such as Snoop Dogg, Wu Tang Clan, Ice Cube, Public Enemy...and by comparison... I saw Salt N' Pepa... Okay, so maybe I deserved that ball-busting just a little...it was still a fun way to kill an hour at the fair!

Nathan returned once again. In the days following his previous visit, he'd actually posted a photo of him on his bathroom scales, with the weight showing 131 pounds. We all called shenanigans, of course, because those could have been anybodys feet showing in that pic. Besides, I'm still pretty convinced that Nathan might weigh about 57 pounds right before a good dump... Truth be told, we like Nathan. It's always good to have fresh blood on the show. As a matter of fact, we all took turns attempting to spill some of that blood throughout the evening! In all honesty, Nathan HAS stated that he'd like to be put through a table, so it's not like he's an unwilling participant! I can't remember specifically how it all began, but Joe decided that he really wanted to superkick Nathan out of his chair, which he did...TWICE! This led to a demonstration of Josh's mastery of Air-Fu (it's a sight to see, lemme tell ya!), and I was able to get an Atomic Drop on the little guy in the early going. Good thing for Nathan there was a nice, cushiony leather couch set up near the barn for us to throw him into! Things got a little weird after a bit, though. As the abuse continued, I felt compelled to protect Nathan. Every time somebody went to take a shot at him, I'd have to intervene. This was an insane contradiction, as I genuinely wanted to take part in the abuse, but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to lift a finger against him. I just wanted to continue stopping everybody else. And then things got stranger, because no matter how badly I wanted to protect Nathan, I couldn't interfere with anything Azkath was doing! My brain's hurting just thinking about the moral dilemmma. I mean, look at it this way. I WANTED to hurt Nathan...but I couldn't! I felt compelled to protect Nathan...but I couldn't, at least not from Azkath. Before the night was over, though, things seemed to balance themselves out once again, and I was able to body slam Nathan onto the couch and follow it up with a couple of splashes. We all got in on it, actually, with the worst possibly coming from Rick, who chokeslammed out little Brony onto the couch. Yes, I'd say that Nathan has been well and truly initiated into the fold.

- Metal Wulf

We were visited once again by Nathan Bobbett, who shared some Brony-Con stories with us, probably the most amusing of which was how there was a noticeable lack of heavy metal music. This forced him to take breaks in his hotel room to get his fix of brutality. Nathan claimed, on this evening, to be approximately 134 pounds, but we weren't convinced. Azkath is pretty sure he's doing what some professional wrestlers do, exaggerating his weight to appear heavier than he really is...which is approximately 55 pounds soaking wet...give or take. He also got to finally meet Spanky, which is only fair as he was the one to...ummmm...father our centaur/unicorn...thing. Nathan was almost immediately scooped up by Spanky's horn, possibly getting his rectal cavity ruptured. Spanky tossed Nathan on his back before darting off for a run through the nearby woods. The sound of clopping hooves and agonzed screams filled the countryside.

I had some Jeffie sightings throughout the evening, usually when I stepped out among the trees to pee. Nobody else has seen him, and Azkath insists that there have been no signs of Jeffie being back among us. My argument to that, of course, is that if Jeffies' ghost is haunting me, there wouldn't be any physical evidence to be found. I was so afraid to urinate at one point that Azkath and Josh joined me, just for company's sake. Of course, they took that opportunity to taunt me, actually frightening me in the process...causing me to pee on myself. Never a fun time... I got so frightened that I actually ran deeper among the trees...and then lost track of things, waking up to find myself tied to a chair in the barn, where Azkath found me. And, now Azkath seems to think I did this to myself, and doesn't believe for a moment that Jeffie is actually haunting me, which is utterly ridiculous...but it's a bit hard to prove that I'm actually on the level. What can I say? Hopefully time will tell!

-Metal Wulf

It seems that Azkath has found yet another table by the roadside, and is itching to put somebody (me) through it. He seemed sincerely disappointed, in fact, when he asked if I'd been smoking recently, and I responded with "No". To his advantage, it seems that our occasional visitor, Nathan (aka The Brony), actually WANTS to be put through a table! Problem solved, right? Perhaps not... You see, Nathan weighs about 70 pounds soaking wet, and would probably just bounce off anything made from something heavier than balsa wood. Worse case scenario, he'd snap like a twig, and we really don't want that to happen. So, we spent a bit of time discussing ways we could put Nathan through a table without completely destroying him. It was even suggested that I could be the one to put him through the table. Obviously moonsaults and senton bombs are out of the question... I actually suggested elbow dropping him, or perhaps leg dropping. Splashing him would probably kill the guy, so that's a no-go. Of course, the problem of getting me on a surface high enough to pull this off came up. As Azkath put it, most of my springs are pretty much shot. Still, If I got two or three rungs up on a ladder, I think I could effectively get him through with an elbow drop. I mean, if that's what he really wants...

The topic of Century Media's acquistion by Sony came up. Overall, the general consensus seems to be that it may not be such a great idea. I mean, Century is pretty much a giant when it comes to indie labels, and while I'm sure the move was more than financially lucrative, in the long run it will likely be the bands that suffer. Still, there's no saying another label won't rise up to fill that void. Time will tell!

Another debate centered around weather patterns in our area. Granted, we've had our share of brutally hot days, but the point I was trying to make was that Summer weather seemed a bit late in arriving. It just seemed to me that we had a bit of an extended Spring, followed by monsoon season (so much more rain than sun for a good stretch...), followed by the arrival of actual Summer around mid-July. Honestly, I've been saying for years that central New York weather is more or less a roller coaster. Up, down, up, down... For the record, though, the days where it's in the low 80's, with low humidity, are just about perfect. For me, the suffering doesn't begin until the humidity goes over 60%, and the temperatures spike at 90 or above.

We played a new Iron Maiden track, "Speed Of Light", from the new album The Book Of Souls, which is now available as of this writing! General consensus...the track is okay, but not among their best songs. Honestly, the video is actually cooler than the song. This actually led to the question of when Josh (probably the biggest Iron Maiden fan on the planet) started listening to Maiden. Seems that Josh started getting into them during the time that Blayze Bailey was replacing Bruce Dickinson on vocals. I should note that for many, this is widely considered Iron Maiden at it's lowest point. Not that Blayze is a terrible vocalist. In all honesty, while those two albums he was on will never be among my favorites, there ARE actually songs on them that I liked...not many, but a handful. And, if you take the time to peek at YouTube to listen to Blayze singing some of the Paul DiAnno-era Maiden tracks, he actually sounds quite good singing those songs. But...he just couldn't cut it when it came to singing the Bruce Dickinson-era songs. And let's face it, not many people could have possibly filled those shoes. The important thing here is that Josh got into Iron Maiden and liked them enough that he visited the back catalog, thereby discovering the band at it's best. Which is as it should be!

The last item of note that I'll be bringing up this week is that I'm pretty sure Jeffie's ghost is haunting me. It's been a couple months since I killed the last one, and Azkath insists that he hasn't cloned anymore, because it's too much of a hassle, especially when we keep killing them off. But, seriously, I've had moments where I've looked out the window of my second story apartment and seen him on the sidewalk, just staring up at me. And I've also gotten phone calls that consist of nothing but laughing and giggling that sounds way too much like Jeffie to be anybody else. And, yeah, considering that Jeffies started out as faulty clones of Azkath, it would be really easy for him to PRETEND to be Jeffie, just to bust my balls. And this is something he absolutely WOULD do...except, he insists that it isn't him, and I believe him. Honestly, the guy's way too damned busy to resort to such methods.

- Metal Wulf