October 9, 2015 - The Return of Jeffie

Jeffie and RandySo, not only was Nathan not on hand this week, but our long-suffering host, Joseph Wyatt, was also among the missing. And, if that wasn’t weird enough in and of itself, Azkath had mentioned that he’d been hearing some strange things out back. In fact, he was pretty certain that there was something roaming around behind the building, but hadn’t caught sight of whatever it may be. Of course, my first thought was that it was likely Spanky, but Azkath insisted that he hadn’t seen any sign of our centaur/unicorn hybrid all day. And he also insisted that it was NOT Jeffie. My theory on the matter was that perhaps Spanky was roaming around out back, looking for Joe, and perhaps Nathan was riding Spanky as they both searched. At one point, Azkath was so convinced that he heard something outside that he had Rick and Josh join him while he took a peek. I tried to take a moment to share some details about a show that Joe and I had gone too the previous weekend, but Jeffie took that moment to reveal himself to me, right there in the studio. Naturally, I flipped, and Azkath, Rick, and Josh came running back in to see what was wrong. Of course they didn’t believe a word I said about Jeffie being right there, saying he was coming to get me. It wasn’t too much later when Azkath heard something again, this time going outside on his own to investigate. We heard a loud “thud”, followed by what sounded like Azkath calling for help. Of course, Azkath and Jeffie sound almost identical, so who the hell knew what I was getting myself into when I stepped outside? I’d only been out there a matter of seconds when a white, ghostly figure came dashing at me from the darkness...and caught me in a huge bear hug. It was, well and truly, Jeffie. He’d doused himself in a ton of what was probably jock itch powder, and glomped the living hell outta me, causing an enormous white cloud to puff out from the impact. Yes, there is YouTube content down below, and it’s a sight to behold... So, yeah, Jeffie was back, and had never actually been dead in the first place. He’d been haunting me and plotting his revenge for weeks, not to mention planning on reinstating himself as the “star” of the Metallic Onslaught. Yep, the guy is still delusional as ever!

The evening came to a particularly shocking conclusion after I’d mentioned to Jeffie that he’d missed out on me becoming a parent, although he insisted that he had, indeed, met Spanky. And, at the end of the show, he provided evidence of this as he left a large plastic case in the middle of the table...with Spanky’s severed head inside of it...

- Recap by Randy Metalwulf


WASP - Slaves to the New World Order
Annihilator - Suicide Society
Intronaut - City Hymnal

Megadeth - Fatal Illusion
Kylesa - Shaping the Southern Sky
Clutch - Our Lady of Electric Light
Abagail Williams - Of the Outer Darkness
Arkaik - That Which Lies Hidden

One-Eyed Doll - Afflicted
Ghost Ship Octavius - Saturn and Skies

Slayer - Vices
Malevolent Creation - Imperium (Kill Force Rising)
Revival - Drowning in Apathy
Fierce Justice - Behind the Thoughts
Meka-Nism - Mouth of God

Queensryche - Arrow of Time
Atreyu - Brass Balls
Accept - Haste the Day
Separations - Dream Eater
Grave - Plain Pine Box
Metal Allegiance - Dying Song

Motorhead - Evil Eye
Voices of the Dead - Hanging the Hermit
Children of Bodom - I Worship Chaos
Under the Church - Triad of Inquisitors
Vingulmork - (I Am) The Darkness You Can Touch

Age of Shadows - Fall of a God
Kowloon Walled City - Grievances
Moloken - Seventh Circle
Kristian Harting - Digging Up Graves
Deafheaven - Brought to the Water

Machine Head - A Thousand Lies
Exodus - Impaler - Live
Forbidden - Follow Me
Crimson Glory - Queen of the Masquerade
Scorcher - More Whiskey

Monster Magnet - She Digs that Hole
Fit for an Autopsy - Ghosts in the River
Audiotopsy - Burn the Sky
My Dying Bride - A Cold New Curse
Thor and the Ass Boys - X Marks the Spot

Osirus - Mass Termination
Sabre Tiger - At the Front
Terminal Function - Dream Traveler
Vehemence - Murdered by the Earth
The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - Chapter VI: Cultists on Board

Battalion of Saints - Darkness
Dark Moor - There's Something in the Skies

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