September 25, 2015 - Magic Mushrooms

There was a bit of concern in the early running regarding the absence of Nathan. We honestly didn’t know if he just wasn’t there, or if he’d gotten so skinny that we could no longer see him. It was also speculated that perhaps he was out riding Spanky, but considering his prior little adventure didn’t work out so well, I had my doubts. There was even an attempt at calling him, to no avail. I guess he just wasn’t able to join us this week!

For some odd reason, Azkath seemed to think that I’d jumped off the barn the previous week, but I had no memories of anything like that, despite some strange evidence that was found around the backyard area. A mark on the ground where I could have potentially landed...blood splotches on the stairs to the barn...and also what Joe suggested was a hole out behind the barn, but who the hell knows what that came from? Unexplainable things aside, I was actually battling a touch of the plague on this evening. Damned late summer/early autumn colds suck, but it’s to be expected, I suppose. Of course, it probably didn’t help that I’d been packed like a sardine in a sea of people at a Gwar show just a few nights prior. Go from a hot and sweaty environment like that and into the chilly night air, you’re just asking to get sick. The show itself was a blast, featuring openers Battlecross and Butcher Babies. Solid night of music from start to finish, and it was my first time actually seeing Gwar. Sad that it took me so long to have my first Gwar experience, to be honest, would have loved to have seen them while Oderus was still with us. Still, the current lineup is pretty amazing, and the show itself was the most over the top night of craziness I’ve ever experienced. And yeah, I was close enough to get a full-on drenching, I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Anyhow, Azkath decided that feeding me some of the enormous mushrooms that are growing in his lawn might make me feel better. I really didn’t see where this was a good idea, but before I knew it, there were mushrooms being shoved into my mouth, and I found myself swallowing them. It wasn’t long before my skin started turning fuschia and my hands began to blister. Then the chills started...and the vomiting...so much vomit... And it wasn’t like a regular session of puking. This was turbo-projectile puking. And also highly acidic, as it began eating through the grass...and the trees...not to mention my leg. And, oh yeah, one particularly large blast caught Josh full on, eating through his clothing, forcing him to remove every stitch that he was wearing. Azkath, being the standup guy that he is, found some old Worm shirts for Josh to cover himself in. Which is cool, because those things have been sitting around for ages. Nice to have found a use for them! Everything else after that kinda becomes a blur, though. I just remember becoming progressively more and more sick as the evening went on...and it’s all a blank after that. Still, once again, it must not have been so bad if I’m able to sit here and type this out now!

-Metal Wulf