August 21, 2015 - Tim Binder Visits

  • Published in 2015

We spent a good portion of the evening discussing some old Metallic Onslaught playlists that Joe had come across. These dated back to roughly 1999 or so, and featured music from local favorite Hate Machine, not to mention Filter, Sevendust, the Go-Go's... Yes, you read that right. Apparently Joe was fond at one point of playing something not even remotely heavy, and then killing that track with something brutal. In this case, The Go-Go's were followed by a track from Mortician. Kinda fitting! And it sounds like something we should bring back from time to time, just for shits and giggles. Azkath also had one of his Last Exit For The Metallic Onslaught "Best Of" DVD's playing in the background, so there was a bit of commentary regarding some of the bygone days of both shows.

Rick had brought up our journey to The Lost Horizon in Syracuse to see High On Fire, which was an amazing show. We only caught a little of the first band, Venomous Maximus, but we liked what we heard. Lucifer were incredible, a very pleasant surprise, as I wasn't familiar with their material at all. Highly impressed with that band! Pallbearer were a bit of a letdown, only because their forty-minute set really didn't offer a lot of variety in tempo. Slow, trudging, doomy as hell (this is a good thing!), but really not overly distinguishable from track to track. What can I say about High On Fire? This was my second time seeing them, and they are the real fucking deal. One of the loudest, genuinely heavy bands out there. They are absolutely crushing live, and I recommend the fuck out of them. 'Nuff said!

Our old friend Tim Binder had come out to join us this evening, actually the first time he'd paid a visit to the Onslaught since our final night at the old studio, all the way back in July of 2014. This was actually the night when Jeffie had offered Tim some "goodies" that had been acquired at Grassroots Fest in Trumansburg. Tim started flipping out, thinking Jeffie was a monster, and had attempted to kill Jeffie. I actually took responsibility for that kill before it was all said and done. Anyhow, we were pleased as hell that Tim had come out to join us that night...right up to the point where he mentioned the Savatage/Tran Siberian Orchestra performances at Wacken. Don't get me wrong, Tim loves Savatage, but seems to hate TSO, even going so far to say that they shouldn't have played at Wacken at all. Now, we're all pretty open-minded, and we all pretty much realize that not all of our musical tastes are compatible. this regard, Joe and I took strong offense. As a matter of fact, Tim ended up getting temporarily banned from the show by Joe. Ultimately, we let him back in, though. I mean, we kinda had to. He'd parked in a particularly soggy part of Azkath's driveway, and his car had sunk so far down that it was irretrievable. I'm sure things worked out well, in the long run, though, as I called Spanky over to give Tim a ride back to Canandaigua. At least, I assume Tim made it back okay...

Azkath brought up a little game they'd played on the previous edition of The Last Exit For The Lost, encouraging us all to share our earliest memories. Now, that's really not easy for me to do, because I remember quite a ways back, but it's hard for me to place events in the proper continuity. With that being said, Josh told us how he'd swallowed a penny at the age of four, and his dad going nuclear. On the plus side, it seems that everything came out alright in the end, pun totally intended. In fact, Joe even went so far as to ask Josh if he'd kept the Poop Penny... I was actually able to recall three early memories, the first being the time I broke my left arm. I was roughly three or four, and fell while stepping out of a wading pool at my grandparents old home in Fairville, NY. I'd been carrying a plastic fish that had filled up partially with water, lost my balance while carrying it as I exited the pool, and came down on the arm, resulting in a compound fracture...and a really frightening experience for a youngster of that age group! Seriously, I distincly remember screaming in horror while being x-rayed! There were a couple others I recalled, but I won't go into further detail here. Rick recalled a time when he'd bounced a padlock off the head of a classmate who'd tried to pick a fight with him...and then shared a particularly funny memory that involved him taking bites out of a pig's head (it was cooked!), and spitting the pieces out at people in the crowd. And, hey, if that's not metal, I don't know what the fuck is! Joe had the most difficulty really coming up with anything. We ended up using his first time hearing KISS or first time seeing Star Wars as reference points. He finally did recall a fairly early memory of getting pulled out by a riptide while visiting Florida. Azkath also recalled getting pulled under by a wave while visiting Long Island sound. Actually, it's kinda interesting how some of our earliest memories are of scary encounters in the water! Just serves to remind us that nature is VERY deserving of our respect!

-Metal Wulf


August 17, 2013 - Finger Lakes Lunachicks

  • Published in 2013
Listen to the Show

The Winery Dogs - Six Feet Deeper
Lord Dying - Dreams Of Mercy
David "Rock" Feinstein - Metal Rules
Blue Oyster Cult - Veteran Of The Psychic Wars

Watain - Sleepless Evil
Emblazoned - Refuge In Darkness
We Butter The Bread With Butter - Psycho
Newsted - Heroic Dose

Scythe - Leather Aggressor
Argus - The Coward's Path
Grave - Morbid Ascent

Fleshgod Apocalypse - Minotaur
Blessthefall - Hollow Bodies
Skeletonwitch - Burned From Bone
Sinner - Comin' Out Fighting

Soulfly - Bloodshed
Manowar - House Of Death
Bombs Of Hades - Skull Collector
Castleumbra - The Flesh Beyond The Umbra

Trouble - Paranoia Conspiracy
Church Of Misery - Badlands
Norma Jean - Wrongdoers
Vision Of Disorder - By The River
Behemoth - Penetration
Chimaira - Plastic Wonderland

Duskmachine - Dying In My Skin
Carcass - Captive Bolt Pistol
Fueled By Fire - Suffering Entities
Hidden Masters - She Broke The Clock Of The Long Now

Dark Angel - Never To Rise Again
Dark Angel - The Burning Of Sodom
Exodus - And Then There Were None
Slammer - Hellbound
Coroner - Reborn Through Hate
Death Angel - Voracious Souls

Scythe - Thunder Hammer
Dream Death - Feast
Spirits Of The Dead - Rumours Of New Presence
Temple Of Thieves - Umbilical
Counterparts - Soil
Potential Threat - In For The Kill
Doyle - Learn To Bleed

Fleshgod Apocalypse - The Fall Of Asterion
Argus - No Peace Beyond The Line
Mephistosystem - Possessive Greed

Killer Dwarfs - Stand Tall (Stick To Your Guns)
Recap by The Metal Wulf
We had a visit from some of the ladies from the Finger Lakes Lunachicks Roller Derby league, and they were highly eager to promote not only the Open House in Lyons this past Monday night, but also derby in general. Which is great, because it's always cool to know just how much these ladies love what they do.
Always a pleasure to have them on, whether Roc City or Lunachicks!
Had some strange moments throughout the evening. Azkath had mentioned something about "these things snap right off", which was really puzzling at first, until I felt compelled to try snapping Tim's arms off.
And I'm tellin' you right now, it was NOT as easy as it sounded. As much as I yanked or pulled on his arms, there was no give at all. I mean, I thougt I MIGHT have had it, for just ONE brief moment I thought I felt something starting to slide out of place, just a little...but then nothing.
So, yeah, it seems that those things DO NOT just snap right off...
As I recall this whole thing was meant to be punishment for Tim attending that night's Carnival Of Madness show in Canandaigua.
Azkath had me try again later in the evening, this time giving me a hammer. And one would think that using the claw end of the hammer to dismember somebody would make things much easier...but no dice. His arms were bound and detemined to stay attached to his torso.
Damn stubborn appendages, anyway...
As for Tim, he got so worried that I might actually succeed in my venture that he hid himself in the rest room, successfully flushing himself just to get away from me. But, eventually he returned, drenched and covered in unspeakable foulness. And I'm pretty sure Bill had just recently "blown up" the toilet, as he likes to put it, so I'm pretty sure some of that was attached to Tim here and there.
Not sure what we've got on the agenda for the next show. So far, it's sounding like it might be one of those "quiet" nights, which are cool as well, because it's always good to keep the focus on the tunes!

July 27, 2013 - Tim and White Lion

  • Published in 2013
Listen to the Show

Venom - Don't Burn The Witch
Lord Dying - Greed Is Your Horse
Burndwiller - Slobbering Souls
Order Of The Dead - Neurot/Despot

Trouble - One Life
Korgull The Exterminator - Korgull The Exterminator
Lords Of Trident - Complete Control
Castleumbra - Realm Of Utumno

Airbourne - Firepower
Dream Death - You're Gonna Die Up There
I Killed Everyone - Born Of The Abattoir
Seven Witches - Nightmare Man
Mercia - The Necromancer

Spater - The Brady Bunch
Fueled By Fire - Rotten Creation
Tarja - Victim Of Ritual
Gorguts - Forgotten Arrows

Spater - Pummeled
Jorn - Carry The Black
Annihilator - Alison Hell
The Burial - Itching Ears
Doyle - Headhunter

Chimaira - No Mercy
Kingshifter - Peace Of Mind
Tyr - Blood Of Heroes
Violator - Dead To This World
Mercenary - Dreamstate Machine

As They Burn - Frozen Vision
Goatess - Full Moon At Noon
A Sound Of Thunder - Queen Of Hell
Battlecross - Ghost Alive
Chthonic - Set Fire To The Island

Sirenia - The Funeral March
Huntress - Destroy Your Life
Deadlock - Dead City Sleepers
Newsted - Twisted Tail Of The Comet
Potential Threat - Behold The End
Heaven+Earth - Back In Anger
Spirits Of The Dead - Rumours Of A Presence

W.A.S.P. - The Real Me
Heretic - Let 'Em Bleed
Hey! Hello! - Feral Days
Candlemass - Under The Oak
Gwar - Madness At The Core Of Time
Long Since Dark - Feeding Blood To The Earth

L.S.D. - Tank
Recap by The Metal Wulf
We'd discussed getting to see Howl and Lord Dying at The Bug Jar in Rochester the night before. Great show, with local support from Burndwiller and Order Of The Dead. All four band just freakin' killed it, definitely a good time!
We were also able to score an interview with all four members of Lord Dying.

David Henninger from Spater joined us for a couple of hours to bring us up to speed on what promises to be a very cool show in Lodi on October 26, at the Eagle Hotel. Spater will be hosting a Heavy Metal Halloween Bash (to be emceed by the Metallic Onslaught crew), an event that will be free AND open to all ages, and will feature some prize giveaways and, of course, costume judging!
(Amusing side note: It was mentioned that my costume would probably include my man-kini and possibly some of the Brony gear I used on No Pants Day. Don't worry about that costume for this year has been pretty much planned out since last Halloween, and will be both man-kini and Brony free, I assure you!)
The line-up, as it stands, will be Spater, Ire Clad, J.A.C.K., Thoughts In Reverse, Psychopath, and a Black Sabbath tribute band called Sabotage.
This show should be a blast, so mark your calendar NOW!
Tim Binder had joined us once again, actually just a night or two after he got to meet White Lion's Mike Tramp at a show...somewhere...hmmmm...oh well, doesn't matter who or where the show was, we promptly started busting Tim's balls regarding White Lion. 
Now, I've never heard White Lion's first album. I've heard that it's actually a really good, straight-forward hard rock/metal album. Sadly, my exposure to White Lion came around the time that "Wait" and "When The Children Cry" were on MTV...and I HATED them...almost as much as Bon Jovi...
(But not as much as there are none so despised as Winger...)
So, yeah, there was some discussion back and forth, both for and against White Lion. It all seems pretty silly at this juncture...but silliness is one of those things that we're REALLY good at, so it all worked out for the better, I suppose.
Anyhoo, a further trip into the horrors that are in Tim's Ipod revealed not only White Lion, but bands such as Tyketto, Tuff, Tori Amos (Azkath promptly slapped me upside the head for being able to identify the song "Raspberry Swirl"...), 'Til Tuesday, and Thompson Twins... each their own, I guess...


July 20, 2013 - What's on Tim's iPod?

  • Published in 2013
Listen to the Show

Doyle - Abominator
Potential Threat - Rise Of The Apocalypse
Manegarm - Forged In Fire
Diamond Plate - Walking Backwards
Ares Kingdom - Without Warning
Ares Kingdom - Tooth And Nail

Black Tusk - In Days Of Woe
Karnivool - Aeons
Seven Witches - Stand Or Fall
Serianna - Snake Oil Salesman
Skiltron - The Swordmaker

DevilDriver - Ruthless
Born Of Osiris - Machine
We Came As Romans - I Am Free
Soul Embraced - Like A Corpse
Erimha - Bewildering Nightmare

Amon Amarth - Burning Anvil Of Steel
Lord Dying - Summoning The Faithless
Chthonic - Rage Of My Sword
All Hail The Yeti - After The Great Fire
Carcass - Captive Bolt Pistol

Heretic - Whitechapel
Heretic - Enemy Within
Havok - Chasing The Edge
Battlecross - Flesh & Bone
Newsted - Nocturnus
Trouble - The Broken Have Spoken

Diamond Plate - Rainmaker
Mercenary - Through Our Darkest Days
True Widow - Numb Hand
Damien Deadson - All Hail The Great Destroyer
Butcher Babies - Dead Poet

Mercia - Olmek The Usurper
Nihilist - Terminus
The Burial - Itching Ears
Annihilator - Phantasmagoria
Sword - Stoned Again

Max Havoc - I'm The Show
Witch Cross - Bird Of Prey
Philip H. Anselmo And The Illegals - Bedroom Destroyer
Screamer - Demon Rider

Deadlock - The Final Storm
volto! - Whopner
Spirits Of The Dead - Wheels Of The World
Jorn - Traveller

Ares Kingdom - The Captive
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Truth is, I don't really remember too much about what happened on the night of the 19th.
I mean, I do remember Rick and Josh discussing Mayhem Fest at Darien Lake, where they were able to not only interview a member of Battlecross, but they also got to talk to two members of Butcher Babies. Pretty cool if ya ask me! 
Above and beyond that...It's kinda blurry...

I remember Tim Binder returning that night, as he does during the summer months. And I remember Joe going through Tim's Ipod, discovering the horrors that lied within. Not to say that all of the music in Tim's Ipod sucks, but some of it...more than a few bands, quite frankly...
Did I mention that we really do like Tim?
Okay, far be it from me to knock another person's musical tastes. Let's face it, I've been told my tastes suck more than a few times over my four years on the show. Kinda used to it. I generally just like to leave it that we all liike what we like, even if it's not hard rock or metal.
(Hillary Duff? WTF?)
It's all good, really!
But, yeah, I do remember Tim's balls getting busted pretty harshly regarding the contents of that Ipod...
What I DON'T remember is saying that Jackyl was the greatest band ever, and all other bands fell short in comparison. But...apparently I made some statements that suggested just that...
Yup, seems that I stated that Jackyl were the only perfect band, making them awesome, and there was no other band in the world that even came close to that awesomeness.
And yet...I don't remember saying a word of it...weird...


January 26, 2013 - Tim's Last Visit

  • Published in 2013
Emperor-The Warriors of Modern Death
Corrosion of Conformity-Seven Days
Rush-The Twilight Zone
The Project Hate-We Watch in Silence as the Earth turns to Blood
Mercyful Fate-At the Sound of the Demon Bell
Down-New Orleans is a Dying Whore
Sepultura-Chaos B.C.
Swarm of Arrows-Damage Generator
Between the Buried and Me-Silent Flight Parliament
Hatebreed-Bitter Truth
"        "-Boundless(Time to Murder it)
The Acacia Strain-Doomblade
Daemonicus-We feast on your Flesh
Mothership-Cosmic Rain
Alpha Tiger-We Came from the Gutter
Illnath-Captain of the Seven Seas
Devourment-Fifty Ton War Machine
The Resistance-Rise from Treason
Cradle of Filth-Hell Awaits
Helloween-World of War
Holy Grail-Take it to the Grave
Xanthochroid-Blessed He with Boils
Nidingr-O Thou Empty God
Spiritus Mortis
Overtorture-The Coming Doom
Lightning Swords of Death-Cloven Sheilds
Gloria Morti-Our God is War
Zombified-Reign of Terror
Trust-Bosser Huit Hueres
Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats-I'm Here to Kill You
Upon Wings-Afterlife
G/Z/R-Seance Fiction
Dropkick Murphys-Rose Tattoo
Crashdiet-Snakes in Paradise
Flotsam and Jetsam-Rage
4arm-The Opressed
Mortillery-Feed the Fire
Trouble-Memory's Garden
Dio-Naked in the Rain
Diamond Head-The Prince
Ozzy-Over the Mountain
Down-Beautifully Depressed
Destruction-Legacy of the Past
Hellcannon-Resinous Infection
Disfigured Dead-God Forgives,I Don't
Wolcott Falls-Sculpture of Light
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Another quiet night on the show. Literally, it was just me, Rick, and Josh for a good portion of the show, as we eased ourselves into our new 10:00 p.m. time slot.  
Tim Binder joined us for a bit. In fact, this was actually his last visit with us for the foreseeable future, as he'll be making his way back to L.A. sometime in the coming week. We tried to talk him into staying at least long enough to go see Doro Pesch with us on the 8th of February, but no dice.Of course, it's not like he'll never return. I mean, really, it's only going to be a few flips of the calendar before he comes back to us, probably not more than half a dozen flips, to be precise.
As I'd said, it was a quiet night, with just the few of us, but that was fine, as it gave us a chance to focus more on the music as opposed to the silliness. Not that there was none of that, mind you. I mean, quite frankly, it was pretty damned cold that night. As a matter of fact, I'd have probably spent half the night shivering if it hadn't been the beginning of the full moon phase. Yep, a quick shift to Wulfie, and I was good as gold. Fur makes all the difference, I'm tellin' ya...
Not that there aren't disadvantages. Having a canine form kinda sucks when you need to use the facilities. In fact, I had to take a moment to head outdoors at one point, so I'll now take a moment to extend my apologies to whoever encountered my handiwork at the edge of the parking lot.
I really did try to cover it up the best I could...
For further silliness I shared a story about being Dutch-ovened by my cat.
True story, I'm sorry to say...
Mittens (my cat) had decided he wanted to come under the covers with me on Thursday night. He occasionally does this on the extremely cold nights, and there was a time when he'd stay underneath with me, usually curled up inside the bend of my knees, for the entire evening.Well, this time he only stayed under the covers for about five minutes, and then decided he wanted to get back out. Imagine my surprise when I lifter the sheet and blankets, only to get a direct nose-full of cat fart...
Yeah, thanks Mittens. I'm sure that was intentional, and considered payback for all the times when I let loose on you.Besides, I heard you as you jumped off the bed. It was clear as a bell, a distinct "meow", followed by kittie laughter...
So, not much else to share this week, really. I will say this, however. Next week is going to be a show you're not going to want to miss, as we'll have David Henninger from Spater on hand to announce the line-up for the 2013 edition of Finger Lakes MetalFest.
For those unfamiliar, Finger Lakes MetalFest is a long-running event that takes place at Donselaar's in Clyde, NY. This year the event falls on May 18, and will feature approximately 20 local and regional hard rock and metal acts, and The Metallic Onslaught have been emcees for the past few years.
It's always a great time, so we can't wait to hear from Dave and find out who will be performing this year! 

January 12, 2013 - A Quiet Night...

  • Published in 2013

Helloween - Live Now!
Jorn - The Mob Rules
Kiss - A World Without Heroes
VoiVod - Warchaic

Horseface - The Nile
Watchtower - The Size Of Matter
Clutch - Earth Rocker
Hatebreed - Put It To The Torch

Andy Winter - Far Beyond Autopilot
Jimmy Fallon - Reading Rainbow
Band Of Skulls - Sweet Sour
Blue Oyster Cult - In The Presence Of Another World

Mortillery - Creature Possessor
Head Of The Demon - Phantasmagoria
Lightning Swords Of Death - Acid Gate
Man The Machetes - Neo-Cowboy

Swarm Of Arrows - Little Marching Vipers
Xanthochroid - Long Live Our Lifeless King
Varg - Guten Tag
The Project Hate - We Watch In Silence As The Earth Turns To Blood
Sinister - Unheavenly Domain
God Seed - From The Running Of Blood

Newsted - Godsnake
Headcrusher - Let The Blood Run
Oblivion - Reigns In Fire
Satan Jokers - Schizophrenic
Nunslaughter - Deathlehem

Funeral For A Friend - Best Friends And Hospital Beds
Air Raid - Raiders Of Hell
Alice In Chains - Hollow
Siegewyrm - Bloodlust
Stormborn - Scorched Earth

Katalepsy - Body Bags For The Gods
Prowler - Knives For Fingers
Visions Of Tragedy - I'll Be Born Again
Tystnaden - Against Windmills
Gloria Morti - Sleep, Kill, Regress, Follow

Destruction - Riot Squad
4arm - Taken Down
Blockheads - Digging Graves
Recap by The Metal Wulf
There was a general air of excitement as we mentioned the booking of Opeth at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo this April. They'll be playing along with Katatonia, so I'm thinking this show should be pretty damned good!
We agreed that it's a shame that we don't have a venue similar to the Town Ballroom that's located a little closer than Buffalo. Truth is, you can't beat the set-up that this place has. There's not a bad view, no matter where you stand!
Joe told me I had to start building a similar venue ASAP.
Yep, I'll get right on that, with the piddling lil' wages my day job offers... 
A discussion arose that mentioned bands that had appeared in cheesy 80's movies, with a prime example being Vixen's appearance in "Hardbodies". Not a great film, to be honest, but a damned sight better than a certain piece of trash called "The Allnighter".
Honestly, there was only one reason to watch "The Allnighter", and her name was Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles... 
This prompted a further discussion of how we should film a cheesy 80's-style film of our own. As a matter of fact, we even discussed what classic 80's talent we'd want to portray ourselves!
Lessee...we figured John Candy would work for me...John Belushi for Rick...Woody Harrelson for Joe, and for Josh...Pee Wee Herman!
Now, just need to find out who'd portray Lance, Azkath, Jeffie, Bill, and Arydaea...
Tim had joined us once again, but we'll be saying farewell to him soon, as he'll be returning to the West Coast in the coming weeks. We keep telling him to stay, but he always goes back...
I say we drug him and chain him up in the basement! Who's with me?
Seriously, though, we're starting to worry about him a little bit. He seemed to take a huge liking to Fred a few weeks ago, and...well...
I'm sorry, but the thought just creeps the rest of us out...ewwwww...
So, we'll be celebrating my birthday on this week's edition with a Tribute To The Past show, so it's gonna be nothin' but old-school metal all night long! 
And apparently Jeffie will be returning to get revenge on me for my actions on our End Of The World show. Oooooooh, I'm so afraid...
Seriously, Jeffie needs to get a grip. He doesn't mind doling out lap dances and doing things that make the rest of us feel awkward and/or uncomfortable, so personally I believe it was high time he got a big dose of his own medicine!
Actually, if I were Jeffie, I'd be more worried about what we're going to do with his damned alligator. Friggin' thing has taken up residence in the restroom, which makes it pretty difficult to take a crap!
Not that it's stopped me, yet... 


December 15, 2012 - The Calm Before the Storm

  • Published in 2012
Listen to the Show

My Dying Bride - Hail Odysseus
Doro - Grab The Bull (Last Man Standing)
T&N - It's Not Love
Fight - Christmas Ride

Venom - Black Xmas
Reckless - Voices In The Night
Black Country Communion - The Circle
Kiss - The Devil Is Me

Malice - Chain Gang Woman
Kamelot - Ashes To Ashes
Mammoth Mammoth - Bare Bones
Dead On - Beat A Dead Horse
Daemonicus - Embrace Her Remains

Midas Touch - Sinking Censorship
Paradox - Brutalized
Sabertung - Endless Winter
Creeper - War Machine
Nightwing - Evil Woman

Convulse - Inner Evil
Shai Hulud - Reach Beyond The Sun
Swarm Of Arrows - Chasing The Deathstar
Kenos - No Presents For Christmas
Solus Deus - Odium

Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus
Killing Yourself For Profit - Darkway
Cult Of Luna - I: The Weapon
Hatebreed - Put It To The Torch
Wintersfear - Blood Grip
Audrey Horne - This Ends Here

Destruction - Spiritual Genocide
CJSS - Tell Me
Corrosion Of Conformity - Strong Medicine Too Late
Butcher Babies - Axe Wound
Sons Of Aeon - Havoc & Catharsis

The Gardnerz - Don't Look Back
Death - Altering the Future
Grand Supreme Blood Court - Grand Justice, Grand Pain
Aeon - The Glowing Hate
Erupted - In The Grip Of Chaos
Bane - As Chaos Rises

Adler - The One That You Hated
Broken Bones - Programme Control
Ancient Cross - Teach The Child
Saxon - Power And Glory
Troubled Horse - Tainted Water
Reckless - Eye For An Eye
AC/DC - Mistress For Christmas

King Diamond - No Presents For Christmas 

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

Rick and Josh were not in attendance on this particular evening, as they had gone to Buffalo to see Killswitch Engage and Shadows Fall at the Town Ballroom. That left Joe and myself to get the ball rolling, actually realizing that it had never actually been just the two of us on the show before. This seemed to make Joe a little nervous, and I asked him if it was about all that silly Brony business. He agreed that it was, and I had to reassure him that at no time in my life had I ever found My Little Pony's to even be remotely interesting, much less the subject of some twisted fetish.
I swear...never watched the program, never even personally looked at one of the toys until Lance dropped 'em into my lap!
Speaking of Lance, he almost made Joe and I crap ourselves simultaneously.
Joe had heard people lurking about in the parking lot, and I figured it must have just been some wandering college students, blowing off steam after finals and before going home for their winter break.
Lance then announced his presence at the window, very loudly, scaring the fucking bejesus out of both of us...
Can't be too mad at Lance, though, because if he hadn't, it might have been hours before we figured out why it was so damned cold in the studio. Seriously, what kind of moron leaves a window open in the middle of fucking December?
Anyhow, Lance brought us up to date on his experiences meeting George Lynch, Warren DeMartini, Rob Marcello, and Michael Angelo Battio at the House Of Guitars. Very cool experiences, I'm sure, and I severly wished I'd known about that clinic when I could have requested time off from work, as Lynch and Demartini are both among my favorite 80's guitarists.  I'll just have to keep a sharper eye on the House Of Guitars event calendar, I guess... 
Tim Binder is back in the area for the holidays, and beyond. At least for the foreseeable future. He'd dropped in after going to see Flo-Rida at some event called the Jingle Ball...most definitely NOT a metal event, from the sounds of it...what are we gonna do with this guy?
Of course, the same could be said for me... 
Anyhoo, we brought Tim up to date on a good deal of things, including that ridiculous Bouncy House Cake Battle between me and Dave, which I'm happy to say has had little to no recent attention beyond Friday's discussion.
Best to just forget the whole thing, not like we're actually ever going to pull it off...
And, with that being said, there's really nothing more to mention this week. Our next show may very well be our last, as it falls directly on December 21, which, thanks to all this Mayan Calendar silliness, we have officially dubbed our End Of The World Show.
Yup, tune in and celebrate the Apocalypse with the Metallic Onslaught! I mean, if we're all goin' to Hell in a handbasket, we may as well do it with some kick-ass music to accompany us!
And, if there ISN'T an Apocalypse...there WILL be a visit from Satan Claus again! That's right, hopefully everything works out for the better,  that way ol' Satan Claus can drop by after midnight to warn all the bad kiddies that he's coming for them on the 26th to confiscate all their presents!
Oh, I should stress that, no matter how things go down on Friday night, there will not, and I repeat WILL NOT, be a Pantsless Santa Dance, as Azkath erroneously claimed in a falsified document that been forged in my name.Utterly ridiculous!
Seriously, who would even believe I was capable of such a thing... 

December 31, 2011 - A Proper Way to End the Year

  • Published in 2011
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Well, this was our last installment of the Onslaught for 2011, and I'd have to say we went out in... Okay, I wanted to say "style", but I'm not so sure that's the appropriate word for it. Hold tight, we'll get back to this before too long...

Steve Papagiorgio was on hand for a visit, his first since August or September of 2010. It had been a long damned time. In fact, it was on his last visit that he threatened to sue me for not really being a werewolf. Seems I lost the trial in absentia, and I've been losing money from my pay each week since. That would explain a damned lot, to be honest.... If Papagiorgio's good for one thing, it's an amusing discussion about Star Wars. Can't remember specifically how this came up, I believe there was something mentioned about a Boba Fett coffee mug, and from there something was said about Boba Fett being the worst character from the orginal Star Wars series. Joe, our long-suffering host, took immense offense at this statement... To be honest, I can't really argue with Steve. I mean, Boba Fett wasn't even IN the first movie, and he needed Vader's help to capture Han Solo (in The Empire Strikes Back), and then turned around and ACCIDENTALLY fell into the mouth of the Sarlacc (Return Of The Jedi). I mean, c'mon already, how pathetic is that? From there the whole thing turned into a discussion about favorite Star Wars characters (Chewbacca, Darth Vader, and Han Solo, pretty much in that order, for me!), and also a suggestion from Joe that Star Wars wasn't...well... 
Imagine my shock at discovering that a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, NONE OF THAT EVER HAPPENED!
And then they told me that Santa Claus wasn't real! HUH?
And the Easter Bunny? And the Tooth Fairy?

Subscribe to this RSS feed