Randy Smith aka Metalwulf

RandyFirst showed up in November of 2008, Randy used to just show up on the full moon, now he's a regular. He also writes the archive recaps.

In his own words...

I've been involved with the Metallic Onslaught as a regular co-host for over five years, but my first appearance was actually just slightly over six years ago, when I made my debut as MetalWulf.

MetalWulf, in a nutshell...hmmmm... Well, obviously he was a headbanging werewolf, and heavy metal music was one of the things that would trigger his transformations.  I'd actually created quite the fun back story for the character. Initially, I was escorted by my "business manager", Steve Papagiorgio. Steve had found me in Tijuana, Mexico, where I'd been working as a bouncer at a bar that featured donkey shows. Yeah, you read that right. I was a werewolf AND a bouncer...at a donkey show... Sadly, Wulfie (as he was fondly referred to) was fired for eating one of the stars of the show...and copulating with the other. History is a bit vague as to which star he devoured and which he...well, you know... Best not to think about those things... As far as how Wulfie became afflicted with his curse of lycanthropy, well, that dates all the way back to January of 1984. Ozzy Osbourne had come to Rochester, NY on his Bark At The Moon tour. Toward the end of his set, I'd been hit with a beer bottle, and rendered completely loopy. Not unconscious as such, just knocked silly. Eventually, I did end up blacking out for a bit, and when I came back to reality, I was sitting with my back to a wall, and the sensation of warm fluid was splashing on my cheeks. I noticed that somebody was urinating on the wall next to where I was sitting, and that "somebody" was none other than the Prince Of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, himself. Naturally, I was a bit irate over being splashed in Ozzy pee, and when I stated my displeasure, Ozzy transormed into a werewolf, nipped me on the leg, and ran off, howling into the night... Wulfie was a great gimmick, but sadly didn't last more than a couple of carnage-filled years. It was Jeffie (pretty much the Village Idiot of the Metallic Onslaught) who ruined everything. He'd been convinced for some time that I was only wearing a mask and pretending to be a werewolf. And, one night, he was able to prove it. After that, I was ostracized on the show, even getting referred to as MetalHoax for quite some time. Oddly enough, it was Jeffie who inadvertently brought about the return of Wulfie after I accidentally deleted every video on my brother, Bill's, YouTube account. Yep, as punishment, Bill and Jeffie killed me, basically choke slamming me into the basement. However, I guess Jeffie must have felt bad, because he cloned me, so I was as good as new by the following week. He'd also mistakenly thrown wolf DNA into the mix when he cloned me, making me a werewolf for real. Jeffie's kind of a dick... Enough about Wulfie.
I've done some crazy shit on this show. I'm the guy who's been credited for making No Pants Day the most dreaded day of our broadcast year. Don't take my word for it, just go to YouTube and watch some of the clips. There's plenty of madness to be enjoyed! So, I should probably talk about my musical tastes a bit here. Honestly, I will give pretty much anything a fair listen. I tend to favor a lot of bluesy hard rock, and my tastes in metal tend to lean more toward power, stoner/doom, thrash, and symphonic styles. I do enjoy a bit of black metal and a dash of death metal here and there, though, not to mention a bit of punk here and there. Like I said, if it rocks, I'll give it a fair and honest listen!
Last modified onWednesday, 03 December 2014 00:00
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