We continue with our Pandemic shows, a slight bit different, but plenty of Metal and humor...

We continue with our Pandemic shows, a slight bit different, but plenty of Metal and humor...

Thanks to my tendency to forget things, I didn’t arrive to the show prepared to take part in the proposed Randy Death Match. In turn, the room was overflowing with gratitude.

In the wake of a massive snowstorm that had recently passed through, Jeffie told us how he had attempted to make a snowman and bring it to life, ala Frosty. Not surprisingly, it didn’t work. He had even tried using a wide variety of hats, but to absolutely no avail. In frustration, he set the hats on fire, thereby melting the snowman.

The unfortunate side, more than anything, was that he’d done this on the front lawn of a school, and had stolen all the hats from school children. And then paused to wonder why the police and teachers got so angry...

Josh and Tim arrived, and Jeffie had suggested an activity that I can only think of as the Jumping Frenchmen Challenge. Apparently French lumberjacks are very ticklish, and if you startle them with a tickle, they’ll do whatever you tell them...? Don’t look at me, I’m just repeating the nonsense that Jeffie was spewing out.

In the “I Should Have Just Kept My Mouth Shut” department, I’d lamented that nobody had remembered my birthday the previous week. This resulted in a series of lap dances from Jeffie, Tim, and Eric, which further resulted in about a week’s worth of mental trauma.

Better to just age gracefully AND quietly...

Jeffie spent a pretty good chunk of time throughout the show running down some of the places he’d visited during his road trip. The running theme seemed to be the best and worst places to fun around naked.

Case in point, it seems he got kicked out of Carhenge for exactly those reasons. As it turns out, he didn’t get kicked out of Yellowstone Park, but did end up doing significant damage to his unmentionables when he tried to run through a geyser like it was a lawn sprinkler. I got the strong impression that The Rockies weren’t a good place to run around naked, and he firmly claimed that there is absolutely no good time at all for that kind of behavior in Death Valley. I guess it’s too hot during the day and too cold at night.

I can’t believe we actually offered this as a solution, but perhaps we just need to establish a nice commune for Jeffie...JUST for Jeffie...where he can run around naked to his heart’s content. A bit of climate control and a reasonably nice place to sleep, toss in a bit of food for him from time to time...he’d be fine.
In more unclothed news, it was established that at some point in the future we were going to have a Randy Death Match. Specifically meaning that I would strip down to my man-kini while Jeffie and Eric (keeper of the NippleNuts) attempted to push each other into me.
The loser being whoever I successfully latched onto...