November 26, 2011 - Rough Night for Randy...

Recap written by Randy Smith, aka MetalWulf.

So, with this edition falling on the evening following Thanksgiving, I have to admit that I was actually just a little out of it. Indeed, my meal of leftovers in the form of hot turkey sandwiches put me into a little tryptohan coma following the first talk break. What can I say, I was VERY relaxed... I woke up pretty quick once Joe played Megadeth's "Black Friday", in honor of that most chaotic of shopping days that kciks off the "Holiday Season". Actually, I got somewhat bouncy after hearing that. Megadeth has strange effects on me sometimes... And it wasn't just me feeling the after-effects of Thanksgiving. Seems Rick had partied a little too much the night before, and had a fun moment bonding with the porcelain altar. That's okay, Rick, we've all been there! (Sssshhh...gotta keep this quiet, we didn't want to say too much in front of him the other night, but...Rick's an alcoholic...DON'T TELL HIM!!!!) Yep, many a time I've passed out wearing the ol' toilet seat around my head. Of course, that actually hasn't happened in over fifteen years, but...definitely been there! (We were contemplating an intervention for him, but that may have to wait a bit. Just remember, don't breathe a word to Rick! SSSSHHHHH!!!!!) Moving right along...

This particular night seemed to be spending a lot of focus on busting my balls. I mean, it's pretty much a given any week, but it was comin' down pretty hard this week. I don't understand why, but that stupid photo of me in the Stryper shirt has gotten me more grief than I ever could have imagined. Seems to be some suspicions that it may still be floating around, but I guarantee that it is LONG GONE. Thrown out years ago, I'd swear to it!
Then I was getting teased because I'd gone down to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with Bill and Erica. For some reason, Azkath felt that this refelcted VERY negatively upon me. Don't see what the problem is, outside of the fact that it's gotten more about "check out these Broadway shows" than it is about the actual parade. Hey, I want to see floats and giant freakin' balloons, dammit!!! Not to mention marching bands with pretty girls in short skirts, twirling their little batons! Speaking of giant balloons, it was speculated that perhaps there should be a Wulfie balloon in the parade. That's right, just imagine a giant Wulfie balloon, complete with man-kini! Ummmm...maybe not...

Further discussion about my future doses of negative reinforcement led to talk of what kind of scales we're going to need. I assure alll that there will be no need of truck scales, or any vehicular scales for that matter. Damn you, Azkath... But yeah, weekly weigh-ins are being discussed with both Azkath and myself, and the one who loses the least weight in a given week is the one who gets the tar beaten out of him on the air. Should be interesting in the coming weeks... Another interesting train of thought for the evening had us referring to Josh as the coolest guy on the Onslaught. Literally, I referred to him as "The Fonz" of The Metallic Onslaught. For the life of me, I have no earthly idea of WHY I would have said something like that... hmmmm... the tryptophan must have tampered with my memory of certain events of the evening... Another Josh moment came later when Azkath decided to start tickling him. Josh is kind of like those "fainting goats" you may have heard about. Start tickling him, and he just drops to the floor, limp as a rag, giggling like a little school girl. It's honestly among the funniest things I've seen in recent weeks on the show. You honestly have to witness it to appreciate it. 

As the show was winding down for the evening, I had been pushed a little too far by Azkath. I mean, the guy was taking everything I said completely out of context, and was saying some pretty damned unkind things about me. I admit, I lost it a little, and proceeded to beat him bloody. Honestly, needed a mop. And it was a little disturbing, as he was bleeding from parts of his body that I didn't even go near. Something weird's goin' on with the ol' Demon's orifices, it seems. Of course, I'm really not concerned enough to look for myself... Oh Hell, he'll be fine!


Iced Earth - Days Of Rage
Midnight Chaser - Earthquake
Brainstorm - Below The Line
Black Sabbath - Seventh Star
Riot - Riot
Mastodon - Curl Of The Burl
The Parlor Mob - The Beginning
StormWarrior - Bloode To Bloode
Jeff The Brotherhood - Whatever I Want
Myrath - Under Siege
Megadeth - Good Mourning/Black Friday
Venom - Beggarman
Turbowolf - Seven Severed Heads
Mournful Congregation - The Waterless Streams
Lonely Kamel - Rotten Seed
Saving Grace - Deathless
In The Midst Of Lions - Cry Of The Oppressed
Counterparts - Jumping Ship
A Plea For Purging - Music City
Supreme Pain - Spiritual Sickness
Million Miles From Broadway - Death Rattle
Forced Entry - Unrest They Find
Banshee - Cry In The Night
Abigail Williams - Ascension Sickness
Svolk - Anchor
Mortal Sin - Deny
Sulaco - Make A Move
Vektor - Venus Project
Trigger The Bloodshed - You, The ominous Future
Rammstein - Mein Land
Riot - Sins Of The Father
Black TusK - Set The Dial To Your Doom
The Gardnerz - Lady In The Grave
Thousand Year War - Tyrants And Men
Venom - Valley Of The Kings
Vallenfyre - Cathedral Of Dread
Carnifex - Dehumanize
Kyng - Porcelain
The Isotopes - 50 Centigrade
Die Hard Till Death - Weak Are The Cruel
Absu - Earth Ripper
Warbringer - Savagery
Vio-lence - T.D.S. (Take It As You Will)
Counterparts - Optimist
Nekrogoblikon - Bears
Hate Machine - Hasben
Vio-lence - Serial Killer