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Recap by The Metal Wulf; First and foremost, we had Stone Soul Foundation in the studio. As I mentioned in last weeks' recap, these guys will be releasing their new disc, Electric Valley, very shortly. It will also be available to order from CD Baby, if you're of a mind. I've got to say, the disc is incredible. If you're a fan of Seventies hard rock, you'll probably love Electric Valley. For me, it brings to mind bands like Deep Purple and Humble Pie, without actually sounding like either. It's just got that kind of great vibe to it, a flat-out smokin' album from front to back. Definitely gotta give major props to vocalist Sean Muldoon, who has one of the best voices I've ever heard in all my years as a fan of this music. No bullshit, not an attempt to kiss anyone's ass, the guy is just THAT frickin' good! In my book, he's right up there in the same league as Robert Plant, Ian Gillan, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, you get the idea, I'm sure! Yeah, check 'em out, if you haven't already!

So, once we got past the midnight hump, birthday greetings were in order as Josh turned another year older! He even ended up on the end of a birthday spanking courtesy of Bill, along with The Last Exit's Azkath. Within the next week, Rick will be celebrating a birthday as well, so he can probably look forward to similar treatment!

Above and beyond that, things got very confusing for me. Something went oddly wrong toward the end of the evening, and I can't quite place what happened. I seem to remember dreaming that I pushed Jeffie into a wood chipper, but Azkath assured me that I had actually killed Jeffie by beating him with a soda bottle, disemboweling him with fragments of a broken record, and then tearing him in half. Reminded of this, I was overwhelmed with guilt and ended up strongly lamenting the loss of Jeffie. I mean, really, how could I have done that? He was my best friend in the whole world, and I killed him! The Onslaught will never be the same without him! Seriously, I was fully prepared to find a bridge and join Jeffie, I felt so bad... Somehow, I got calmed down, so things are cool. Besides, I remembered something that Azkath had mentioned. He said he wouldn't send us another Jeffie unless we asked for it! So, maybe if I ask Azkath nicely...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Another peaceful, fun-filled night, which I still attribute to the lack of Jeffie to complicate things! And to think Azkath says we're gonna want another one eventually! HAH!!!

Speaking of Azkath, he and FMG were on hand Friday night, along with Syracuse band, Zadoc And The Nightmare. There seemed to be some confusion as to whether Zadoc was really Zadoc, due to the lack of face paint. I guess folks aren't accustomed to seeing the guy without his stage gear, and for added confusion there was actually facial hair! But, it was really him, and along with the rest of the band they treated us to a whole slew of acoustic songs, including a very cool cover of Rainbow's "Temple Of The King". All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable experience, and I'm fully behind the idea of checking them out live one of these days!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; All told, a relatively normal evening, which was a far damned cry from last week! We had a couple of members from Rochester's Warblade on hand, who were there to promote their latest CD, World War IV. Of course, we were more than happy to play a few tracks throughout their visit. Definitely a more extreme sound than a lot of what you'll hear from bands from our area, more of a Blackened Death Metal style, and very cool.

Not much else to speak of. I think Bill and I were a little worried for our future status on the Onslaught, and I did my best in the early portion of the show to keep the subject diverted from last week's takeover by Azkath and his cohorts from The Last Exit For The Lost. Basically, it was all about asking Joe how Tran-Siberian Orchestra was, and keeping him on the topic. Buuut...it didn't last and the cat got let out of the bag, and Joe found out about not only the takeover, but about us actually playing Jackyl's "The Lumberjack" during his absence... Yep, Joe wasn't too pleased, but in the end he took it easy on us. Maybe my assurance that Jeffie was dead, and that Azkath wouldn't send any more unless we asked, helped. Maybe not. Hard tellin'! I can say this much, though, it's probably gonna be a loooong damned time before any more Jackyl is played on the show!

Looks like we might have some fun guests coming on over the next coming weeks. It was mentioned last night that Zadoc And The Nightmare might...MIGHT, mind you...be joining us for a bit next week. Definitely keeping my fingers crossed on that one! And then, in two weeks, we should be getting a visit from Stone Soul Foundation, who are getting ready to release their next disc, and I am DEFINITELY looking forward to that one! Good times are a'comin', stay tuned!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; This night should have been relatively calm and uneventful. Honestly, there was absolutely NO REASON for things to go as abysmally and catastrophically wrong as they did. But...they did...So, Rick was hosting in place of Joe, who was attending Tran-Siberian Orchestra's show in Rochester that night. Will Polson was in the control room with Rick, while Josh, Bill, and I were in our usual places, and the night was off to a pretty good start.We also had a new person on hand. Remember how I'd jokingly mentioned we needed a Mommy in the Stupid Room a few months back? Well, we now have someone to fill that position, and I must say that Lindsey was taking to the job eagerly. I, myself, ended up with two time-outs...

There was much rejoicing in the studio in the early going, as Rick and I explained how I'd killed Jeffie the week before. This turn of events came to pass on an edition of The Last Exit For The Lost, our sister show in Ithaca. Guilty confession time: I had actually considered that visit to The Last Exit as a defection from The Metallic Onslaught. After events during our Halloween show, I'd decided I needed to get away from Jeffie permanently, and considering he's not allowed on The Last Exit...You see where I was going? Well, that particular night on The Last Exit was they're Tribute To The Past Russian Roulette show. No new music was played, and the Russian Roulette aspect comes from a random selection of songs that are played. Any songs that fall into the category of overplayed, cheesy, or covers are considered "bullets", and if a bullet plays, somebody has to draw a slip of paper from a bag. Written on the slip is a random action or activity that the person must carry out. At some point, somebody pulled a slip with Jeffie's name on it, meaning that Jeffie had to be called to come to The Last Exit... Seriously, what are the frickin' odds?Well, as soon as Jeffie got there, I was on him like white on rice, bludgeoning him to death with a liter bottle of Mountain Dew and disemboweling him with a piece of broken record. What's even worse is that, in my rage, I seem to have torn what was left of Jeffie in half, literally grabbing a butt cheek in each hand and TEARING! Yeah, it was a hell of a mess! By the end of that night on The Last Exit, I'd reconsidered my decision to leave the Onslaught, and not just because we didn't have Jeffie to worry about anymore. I became the subject of a bullet, and my slip of paper simply said "Porno Joe". Meaning that Just Joe gave me a lap dance, much to my sheer terror...

So, with all that in mind and knowing that Jeffie wouldn't be tormenting us anymore, Rick was cool enough to play some Jackyl for me, thinking we could get away with it in Joe's absence. Hey, I saw absolutely no harm in enjoying "The Lumberjack"!

Well, somebody else seemed to think that it was a bad idea...

Imagine our surprise when the Demon Azkath himself showed up! The guy came in with Foul Mouth Girl and Just Joe, and proceeded to not only chloroform Rick, but he also took over the show! AND HE BLAMED ME!!! Not just for playing Jackyl, either, he'd also admitted that Jeffie's death was part of it, as well as some previous invasions by the Onslaught. Invasions by the Onslaught? Now, he couldn't possibly have meant our interrupting their interview with Moore a couple months ago? Hell, that was just all in good fun! Okay, so Azkath's the kind of guy who seems to carry a grudge, and this was his method of payback. On top of everything else, when Rick regained consciousness, HE blamed me for the takeover as well! Hell, if I'd known playing Jackyl would spark that kind of reaction, I'd have left well enough alone. Funny thing is, Rick grudgingly agreed that Azkath had been doing a good job in the control room, prompting the Demon to relinquish control of the show back to Rick. Now, one would think that things would have gone a little more smoothly, but I'd been really leary around Just Joe that evening. He claimed that he didn't remember giving me the lap dance that night on The Last Exit, but he sure didn't waste any time stripping to his boxers and bouncing on my lap again! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Yeah, it was too much to take, and I ran for it. Don't know how the rest of the evening went, but I'd had enough!So, here's hoping that the next show will be back to normal, and that Joe won't be too angry at the turn of events during his absence...