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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
We were all still a little nervous at the very beginning of the evening, as Joe had STILL been MIA. The worry was short-lived, though, as Joe walked into the Stupid Room carrying a rolled-up newspaper, which he promptly used to beat me with, calling me bad Wulfie, and I think even at one point referring to me as a bad hoax!
Actually, I thought I'd made a pretty damned good hoax, considering how long we'd been able to keep Jeffie fooled. Oh well...
Yep, Joe had returned and WOW, was he pissed? Holy shit, I'd never seen his so furious! Not only about the circumstances that led him to depart the show for two weeks, but he wasn't too thrilled about me taking his car again in order to look for him.
Now, I could have sworn I'd left his car right in his driveway, but he said it wasn't there, and that it was my fault that he'd missed out on the Death Angel show!
Okay, I guess I'd have been bummed too if I'd missed that show, 'cuz it KICKED ASS!
More on that in a bit, though...
Anyway, Joe left the newspaper with Josh, in the interest of keeping me in line. Thankfully we were able to move on from my beatings long enough to pay tribute to departed guitar legend Gary Moore, focusing on his classic material from the 80's as well as a bit of his work with Thin Lizzy. Another sad loss, let's hope it's the last one for awhile.

So, Death Angel were AMAZING, I've gotta tell ya. It was more than worth taking our lives in our hands to attend the show, which was at Rochester's Montage Music Hall. Yeah, to say the weather absolutely SUCKED that night would be an understatement, and I think the fact that we even set foot out the door can stand as a testament to just how much we love this music. I shit you not, we risked our lives for that show!
Death Angel are one of those bands that I used to hear about back in the 80's and never really got around to embracing, although I always heard some pretty high praise for them.
Okay, I confess, I had my head up the ass of mainstream hard rock and metal for way too long back in the day, and I missed out on a LOT of great underground music. Can't dwell on what ya can't change...
Anyhoo, I left that show more or less kicking myself in the ass for not delving into their material more deeply. Their new disc is damned solid, and the new material holds up very nicely with the old, making for a very intense set list! Of course, it didn't hurt the evening at all that both Bonded By Blood and Lazarus A.D. both kicked ass. Definitely a great evening of metal, I strongly recommend ANY of these bands if they roll into your town!

Let's see, another point of interest...
 It seems that Will Polson wants to introduce us to some dude who calls himself "Shades"... Now, the only shades I know about are the ones I wear on sunny days, so I've got no bloomin' clue as to what the hell he's blabbering about, but we could be finding out pretty damned soon, from the sounds of it.
Aww, Hell, bring him on, the more the merrier, I say!

And finally, my evening on the show ended rather...ummmm...abruptly...
Azkath mentioned that maybe it wasn't a good idea to mention that he had...
Owwww...
Something about owls...
Grrrrrr...
My head hurts just thinkin' about it...
Anyhoo, apparently I started to lose it again, and of course I don't remember anything. And apparently it was left to poor Bill to get me out of the studio and deal with the situation...
Apparently he had to hit me with a tire iron just to get me calmed down...
Sigh...
Damned Azkath...

Listen to the Show - Pictures

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Not a bad night by any stretch, although we were still lacking our host. Yep, Joe was still among the missing as of Friday night, and we were all pretty afraid that I may have frightened him off for good...
Not that I hadn't attempted to search for him. Man, I busted my ass lookin' for that guy! Knocked on his door for half an hour, and when I finally realized that neither he OR his wife were answering, I decided to expand my search. Unfortunately, I lack a ready source of transportation of my own...
Hmmm...what to do...
Figuring that he hadn't killed either Bill or myself for taking his car at Christmas, I proceeded to borrow it again! Yep, I drove that convertible of his around five counties, pretty much peeking in every window and under every rock, behind every tree...
You get the idea, and of course, I had no luck...
Anyway, blame seemed to be pretty firmly leveled at me, although I'm not liking how strange things occur whenever Azkath is on the show. Strange things like gaps in my memory...
Hmmmmm...
Seriously, were things really that much worse when we had a Jeffie running around?

Anyhoo, we had guests in the studio as well, so we really couldn't dwell on our missing host for too long!
So, Cuss Muffin and Izzy Normous had both returned to the show, and they brought a new team member, L.L. Cruel J, along with them. They were kind enough to bring us up to speed with new developments, among them the beginning of a new, longer season of derby action, a new team (the Mid-Town Maulers), and, of course, promoting their season opening bout at the Dome Arena this past Saturday night.
Always a pleasure to have these ladies visit, I've gotta say. L.L. Cruel J was nice enough to share a fun little story with us about how she got to meet Lemmy from Motorhead, and even played a game of pool with him, and Cuss Muffin shared some more tales of her travels with us. Of course, after hearing her tell of a visit to Nicaragua where she found a large spider eating a cockroach on top of her toothbrush, I'm thinking I'm not minding the cold, snowy New York winters quite so much anymore...
EWWWWWWWWW!!!

The latter portion of the evening, after our derby friends departed, found me sitting by myself in the Stupid Room. Seems that nobody wanted to share the essence (or should I say ASS-ence...) of Wulfie that was wafting about.
Hey, I didn't design the radio station! Who would have thought to put the rest room just a couple of doors away from where we all sit? Really! And you'd think if folks were so worried, they'd put in some air freshener or somethin'...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Well, things went terribly wrong somewhere along the line last night, and I don't remember what happened!
Funny thing is, everybody tells me it's best NOT to remember. Must have been pretty damned bad!

So, the evening started off smoothly enough. Bill and I had returned after suffering from a dose of the typical offerings of the winter cold season.
An early discussion in the evening touched on my now-defunct werewolf gimmick that Jeffie had blown out of the water. Somehow it was mentioned that the whole thing could be considered a hoax, kind of a unique perspective when you think about it. Wulfie in the same league as Bigfoot, or the Loch Ness Monster? Hmmmm, does this mean that random Wulfie encounters could show up in the tabloids?
That would be pretty damned cool, if ya ask me!

Azkath from The Last Exit For The Lost had joined us once again, and it was shortly after his arrival that something terrible happened. Something so bad that nobody would speak of it, and I couldn't remember it!
Something so bad that it caused Joe, our long-suffering host, to quit the show!
Wish I could remember...
All I know is that Azkath mentioned something about having eight owls in his tree, and from there everything becomes a big ol' blur.
Apparently I went on some kind of terrifying rampage and did something so unspeakable that...well, as I said, nobody will speak of it! I mean, really, all Azkath would say was that the next time he gave me a post-hypnotic suggestion, I'd better interpret it properly!
But Azkath has said he'd NEVER hypnotize me!
Honestly, it's all very confusing...
And then everybody made me clean up the mess I'd made.
I swear, I don't even know what some of those fluids were! EWWWWWW!!!

So, of course, I really wanted to rectify the situation and make it up to Joe somehow, but he was long gone. Eventually, I decided I'd better get out and find him in the interest of setting things right!
Of course, so far I've had no luck in that department, and I' guess we'll just have to sit back and wait to see what comes of all of this...

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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard;
The Demon Azkath was there, and said he had seen the video proving that there had indeed been a Jeffie there the week before (he hadn't believed them when they told him there had been one there), and he had no idea where these Jeffies were coming from, as he wasn't making them. He didn't know where that one had gone, but, since Jeffie had said he was going home with Shoebox, he thought maybe Shoebox had him. If that is so, I bet Shoebox is just thrilled to death about that. The conversation hit on such topics as paper cuts, how they are the worst injuries to have by far, which is why there has never been a wrestling, or death match fight with them as the goal, it would just be too brutal, and penguins, what they wear, and the fact that all the species that are dying, are doing so, according to Joe at least, from liquefied innards, which would also make a cool title for a death metal song, "Death By Liquefied Innards". I'm gonna work on writing that right away, I'm sure it will be a hit, then I can become a super rock star, like Jeffie, with my own bus, groupies and everything...!!!!

Listen to the Show * Pictures




Recap by The Metal Wulf; I had a funny hunch that this night would be a little goofier than usual, as they are when somebody's birthday is creeping up. The birthday in question this time?

Mine!


Yes, my birthday was on the 17th, so I was expecting some related fun. Truth is, I desperately attempted to beat around the bush when asked how old I was going to be. At first I was tempted to switch numbers around, but then I realized I'd only be making it worse...

But, yes, you're sometimes furry pal is now 45, and only occasionally feeling it!


I was very pleasantly surprised by a visitor that had been invited by Azkath. A previous regular on the show, Worm Quartet's Shoebox hadn't been in the studio in roughly five years. Understand, now, that my only exposure to Shoebox before Friday night, outside of briefly meeting him at a roller derby event, had been in the form of Best Of DVD's that Azkath had set me up with during my recovery from foot surgery. I spent a LOT of time laughing at many of the segments on those discs, and probably laughed loudest during any segment that featured Worm Quartet. (those are all available on the website by the way, free to watch and download!)

Now, Worm Quartet, for those who may be scratching their heads, is a one-man musical comedy act that has been featured very prominently on Dr. Demento, even garnering the honor of being that shows most requested artist for a couple of years. The material, I must say, is freakin' hilarious, and I strongly recommend it!

So, Azkath, Rick, and Joe were certainly no strangers to Shoebox, although there seemed to be some puzzlement as to where the rest of Shoebox was left. Seems the man has lost a substantial amount of weight, so it was a sleeker version that joined us in the studio. Truth be told, everybody was thrilled to have him back!

One of the funniest moments of the show that night came as we were preparing to play Worm Quartet's "The Ballad of Dr. Stopp". Shoebox was explaining the story behind the song, which is about a little procedure he had done. He was quite descriptive, actually, and the hilarious part is that the procedure wasn't really named in specific terms, although I'm pretty sure it wasn't too difficult to piece together! Azkath then made matters worse by asking even more detailed questions...


Dave Henninger from Spater had also dropped in, promoting an upcoming show his band has with Nine Round this weekend, and also to get the word out that bands submitting for this years' Fingerlakes Metal Fest should get them in soon, as time is runnin' out! That particular event will be in May, the weekend BEFORE Memorial Day, and The Metallic Onslaught will be on hand to emcee the show! Gonna be a great time!

Had a brief visit from Jeffie, who'd gotten hold of some Gold Bond powder, which promptly stank up the entire Stupid Room. Oddly enough, Azkath swears that he hasn't made another Jeffie to send our way, but if that wasn't Jeffie, who was it?

Hmmmm, could Azkath be pulling the wool over our eyes? Or could Jeffie have learned how to clone himself before I killed him the last time?

Seems we've got a bit of a mystery on our hands here...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Not a lot of time for talk and/or random silliness, as this was our Best Of 2010 show. Considering there were five of us contributing this year, it filled the evening pretty completely, I must say!

Of course, if you tuned in at the beginning you may have been a little puzzled by the sounds of Gerry Rafferty's "Baker Street" kicking off the evening, but it was all in tribute to Mr. Rafferty's passing earlier in the week. A few Y&T songs were in there as well, as we'd also lost bassist Phil Kennemore. Let's face it, both artists contributed to some fine, memorable musical moments over the years, and respects must be paid where they are due!

Despite the limited time for talk, Bill and I did take a moment to make sure Joe found his car in acceptable condition following it's return on Christmas morning. He seemed pretty put-off by the whole thing, although I assured him that I thought we'd gotten all the reindeer poo off of his windshield.
Seriously, I've discovered, after that night, that birds are NOTHING when it comes to pooping on windshields. Flying reindeer are FAR worse, leaving a much larger area of splatter...

Anyhoo, on to the meat and potatoes of the evening!

Starting with Josh and continuing throughout the night with Bill, myself, Joe, and Rick, we played selections from our favorite albums of 2010. Now, in some cases there was a bit of overlap (a LOT in the case of Bill and myself, actually, but we listen to a lot of the same stuff, so...), but overall, I think the final tallies show a LOT of diversity in styles.
What can I say? 2010 was a HELL of a year for new music, and for my money the strongest showings were from acts that have been around for years. Kinda tells me that these acts have no plans of packing it in any time soon, and that the younger lions may need to start roaring a little louder if they wanna stay heard!

So, starting with Josh's list, here's what the Metallic Onslaught thought kicked the most ass in 2010! Take notes and check them out!

Josh Nolin's Picks
1. Iron Maiden-The Final Frontier
2. Gamma Bomb- Tales From Grave Space
3. Spiritual Beggars- Return To Zero
4. Bonded By Blood- Exiled To Earth
5. Halford IV: Made Of Metal
6. Helloween- 7 Sinners
7. The Sword- Warp Riders
8. Enslaved- Axioma Ethica Odini
9. Mago De Oz- Gaia III Atlantia
10. Tank- War Machine

Bill Smith's Picks
1. High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
2. Murderdolls- Women And Children Last
3. Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
4. Triptykon- Eparistera Daimones
5. Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra
6. Watain- Lawless Darkness
7. Overkill- Ironbound
8. Rob Zombie- Hellbilly Deluxe 2
9. Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black
10. Flotsam And Jetsam- The Cold

Randy Smith's (aka Wulfie) Picks
1. Murderdolls- Women And Children Last
2. Rob Zombie- Hellbilly Deluxe 2
3. Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black
4. Overkill- Ironbound
5. High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
6. Triptykon- Eparistera Daimones
7. Ozzy Osbourne- Scream
8. Stone Soul Foundation- Electric Valley
9. Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
10. Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra

Joe Wyatt's Picks (in no particular order)
Hail Of Bullets- On Divine Winds
Venomin James- Crowe Valley Blues
Atheist- Jupiter
Widow Sunday- In These Rusted Veins
Fallen Angels- Engines Of Oppression
Flotsam & Jetsam- The Cold
First Blood- Science Is Betrayed
Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black
Overkill- Ironbound

Rick Horton's Picks
1. Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra
2. High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
3. Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
4. Death Angel- Relentless Retribution
5. Stone Soul Foundation- Electric Valley
6. Bleeding Through- Bleeding Through
7. Nevermore- Obsidian Conspiracy
8. Watain- Lawless Darkness
9. Enslaved- Axioma Ethica Odini
10. Kylesa- Spiral Shadow

Plenty of good music in there, let me tell ya! Makes me wonder if 2011 will be able to compete! But why stop there? Let's take a closer look where we overlapped, shall we? Because, when it all boils down, the following are the cream of the crop for 2010, and should be considered the true must-haves of the year.
Each title shows up on at least three of the previous lists. So, in no particular order:

Metallic Onslaught's Best Of 2010
High On Fire- Snakes For The Divine
Dimmu Borgir- Abrahadabra
Cradle Of Filth- Darkly, Darkly Venus Aversa
Overkill- Ironbound
Black Label Society- The Order Of The Black

Yep, I'd say that pretty much sums it up! Now check 'em out!

Listen to the Show - Pictures

Recap by The Metal Wulf; That's right, kiddies, we were live on Christmas Eve! Hey, how often is this possible, really? I was glad to jump on the opportunity to spend a portion of the holiday hanging with these guys!

Had kind of a shaky start to the evening as we encountered some technical issues, but those were remedied with a minimum of panic. Tim had joined us once again, but when he arrived without the sports car that Joe wanted for Christmas, disappointment was pretty evident. Man, Joe was really lookin' forward to that Mazeratti, too!
Of course, it was a no-go as well when Joe mentioned that Tim could just hand him over the monetary equivalent. Poor Joe...

There was some concern over the appearance of my left eye expressed, and when I tried explaining the circumstances behind it, hilarity ensued.
Here's the deal: Bill and I had visited our parents for a bit before the show. Mom and dad have three cats, and Cotton is the only one of them who falls into the "friendly" category. Marmalade and Munch, well, you just take your chances with those two. I mean, it IS possible to catch them in a good mood, but...
Anyhoo, I'd been petting Cotton, and something in her fur caused an allergic reaction that affected my eye. What I'd said on the show was something like this:
"Whenever I pet her, I puff up..."
Now, there was a very brief moment of dead silence, followed by insane laughter from EVERYBODY! It was so bad that Joe had to jump right into a music set while we got ourselves composed.
It's really blown me away how that little statement just plummeted all of our minds straight to the gutter simultaneously, quite possibly right along with all of our listeners! Seriously, it was almost like one gigantic mental toilet flush!

Probably the greatest moment of the evening, though, was the arrival of Jeffie Claus! Yes, indeed, folks, Azkath has once again sent us a Jeffie unit, and for my part, I couldn't be any happier! My best friend is back and just as goofy as ever!
For some reason, the rest of the crew didn't seem as thrilled to have him back. There was even some suggestion that Christmas had been ruined! Well, at least Tim and I were happy to see him!

And to just give you an idea of how considerate Jeffie Claus is, he gave Joe's convertible to me and Bill as a Christmas gift!
And it was AWESOME! Wow, how did Jeffie know that Bill and I wanted to spend the wee hours of Christmas morning joy riding around Seneca County? We had sooooo much fun!
More on that when we return in a couple of weeks, though! Which, by the way, will be our Best Of 2010 show, so by all means check it out and find out what albums had the biggest impact on us in the past year!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Another relatively quiet evening this week. Meaning, in a nutshell, there was no goofing around until somebody fell into a large, spiky houseplant.
Yeah, there are still scratch marks on my left ass cheek...

We had a pleasant surprise in the form of a visit from Tim Binder, who's back in the area to celebrate the holidays. Joe even played Giuffria's "Call To Your Heart" just for Tim, and I must say, I was a little shocked by the song choice, for a couple of reasons:

A. That has got to be the most commercial song I've EVER heard Joe play on the Onslaught. Geez, what's next, Bon Jovi? Shudder...
B. What the FUCK? He plays Giuffria, but consistently busts on my balls for liking Jackyl? DAMN!!!!

Okay, to be honest, no disrespect to Giuffria. I've heard far worse over the years, no doubt about that. But, Giuffria sounded a little too much like Journey, and as far as I'm concerned, you only really need one Journey. Still, on the plus side, they had a damned fine guitar player in Craig Goldy, who went on to kick some ass with Dio off and on over the years. Hell, the guy is one of the main reasons that Dream Evil is one of my favorite Dio records.
Still kinda burns my tush that playing Giuffria was somehow a lesser evil than Jackyl, though...

Tim actually surprised us all a bit when he admitted that he didn't own any Metallica releases. Well, he's got Ride The Lightning ripped to his laptop now, so here's to hoping he gains a new appreciation for their stuff. Seriously, Tim, ya can't go wrong with their first three albums. Must-haves, all of them!!!

In some of the more humorous moments of the evening, Joe had remarked on how quickly our topics of discussion can spiral downward into tastelessness. It's actually kind of frightening sometimes, I have to say. Of course, if people could hear some of the shit we discuss OFF the air...

Interspersed throughout the evening was some more sounds of the season, of course. We're building up for our Christmas show next week, after all! Yes, that is correct, the Onslaught will be on for your Christmas Eve listening pleasure! Just imagine the headbanging fun you can have while wrapping those last few gifts! I have a feeling this show's going to be more fun than usual, and it's also going to be our last show of 2010, so DON'T MISS OUT!!!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; This night saw us easing a little more into the holiday mode, as we featured some sounds of the season, just done a little on the heavy side! Hey, personally, I kinda like rockin' covers of Christmas standards!

Azkath and FMG were on hand once again, and once again things got a little fuzzy for me before the end of the night. Josh and Rick had both celebrated birthdays during the previous week, and for some reason at a couple points during the evening I was compelled to give Rick a birthday lap dance... Yeah, I know...EWWWWWWWWW!!!! I'm sure it was no picnic for Rick, either... Imagine my confusion, though, when I realized I wasn't fully dressed at certain intervals of the show. Azkath assured me that Bill had hypnotized me and suggested the whole lap dance thing, although everybody else insisted it was Azkath who had suggested it... But he'd NEVER do something like that to me! I'd swear to it!

Things got really out of hand at the end of the night, though, when people started delivering a beat-down on Bill, and for some reason I was once again compelled to dance for Rick. Rick fought back violently, though, and before I knew it I was being thrown toward the storage racks for WEOS's vinyl collection. Didn't quite hit the racks, though, as I tripped over a prone Bill, falling directly into the large, spiky-leafed plant in the corner, where I not only received scratches on my left butt cheek, but I also managed to smack the back of my head on a window sill... ...and also landed on Bill's head... Poor Bill...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; First and foremost, we had Stone Soul Foundation in the studio. As I mentioned in last weeks' recap, these guys will be releasing their new disc, Electric Valley, very shortly. It will also be available to order from CD Baby, if you're of a mind. I've got to say, the disc is incredible. If you're a fan of Seventies hard rock, you'll probably love Electric Valley. For me, it brings to mind bands like Deep Purple and Humble Pie, without actually sounding like either. It's just got that kind of great vibe to it, a flat-out smokin' album from front to back. Definitely gotta give major props to vocalist Sean Muldoon, who has one of the best voices I've ever heard in all my years as a fan of this music. No bullshit, not an attempt to kiss anyone's ass, the guy is just THAT frickin' good! In my book, he's right up there in the same league as Robert Plant, Ian Gillan, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, you get the idea, I'm sure! Yeah, check 'em out, if you haven't already!

So, once we got past the midnight hump, birthday greetings were in order as Josh turned another year older! He even ended up on the end of a birthday spanking courtesy of Bill, along with The Last Exit's Azkath. Within the next week, Rick will be celebrating a birthday as well, so he can probably look forward to similar treatment!

Above and beyond that, things got very confusing for me. Something went oddly wrong toward the end of the evening, and I can't quite place what happened. I seem to remember dreaming that I pushed Jeffie into a wood chipper, but Azkath assured me that I had actually killed Jeffie by beating him with a soda bottle, disemboweling him with fragments of a broken record, and then tearing him in half. Reminded of this, I was overwhelmed with guilt and ended up strongly lamenting the loss of Jeffie. I mean, really, how could I have done that? He was my best friend in the whole world, and I killed him! The Onslaught will never be the same without him! Seriously, I was fully prepared to find a bridge and join Jeffie, I felt so bad... Somehow, I got calmed down, so things are cool. Besides, I remembered something that Azkath had mentioned. He said he wouldn't send us another Jeffie unless we asked for it! So, maybe if I ask Azkath nicely...

Listen to the Show * Pictures

Recap by The Metal Wulf; Another peaceful, fun-filled night, which I still attribute to the lack of Jeffie to complicate things! And to think Azkath says we're gonna want another one eventually! HAH!!!

Speaking of Azkath, he and FMG were on hand Friday night, along with Syracuse band, Zadoc And The Nightmare. There seemed to be some confusion as to whether Zadoc was really Zadoc, due to the lack of face paint. I guess folks aren't accustomed to seeing the guy without his stage gear, and for added confusion there was actually facial hair! But, it was really him, and along with the rest of the band they treated us to a whole slew of acoustic songs, including a very cool cover of Rainbow's "Temple Of The King". All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable experience, and I'm fully behind the idea of checking them out live one of these days!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; All told, a relatively normal evening, which was a far damned cry from last week! We had a couple of members from Rochester's Warblade on hand, who were there to promote their latest CD, World War IV. Of course, we were more than happy to play a few tracks throughout their visit. Definitely a more extreme sound than a lot of what you'll hear from bands from our area, more of a Blackened Death Metal style, and very cool.

Not much else to speak of. I think Bill and I were a little worried for our future status on the Onslaught, and I did my best in the early portion of the show to keep the subject diverted from last week's takeover by Azkath and his cohorts from The Last Exit For The Lost. Basically, it was all about asking Joe how Tran-Siberian Orchestra was, and keeping him on the topic. Buuut...it didn't last and the cat got let out of the bag, and Joe found out about not only the takeover, but about us actually playing Jackyl's "The Lumberjack" during his absence... Yep, Joe wasn't too pleased, but in the end he took it easy on us. Maybe my assurance that Jeffie was dead, and that Azkath wouldn't send any more unless we asked, helped. Maybe not. Hard tellin'! I can say this much, though, it's probably gonna be a loooong damned time before any more Jackyl is played on the show!

Looks like we might have some fun guests coming on over the next coming weeks. It was mentioned last night that Zadoc And The Nightmare might...MIGHT, mind you...be joining us for a bit next week. Definitely keeping my fingers crossed on that one! And then, in two weeks, we should be getting a visit from Stone Soul Foundation, who are getting ready to release their next disc, and I am DEFINITELY looking forward to that one! Good times are a'comin', stay tuned!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; This night should have been relatively calm and uneventful. Honestly, there was absolutely NO REASON for things to go as abysmally and catastrophically wrong as they did. But...they did...So, Rick was hosting in place of Joe, who was attending Tran-Siberian Orchestra's show in Rochester that night. Will Polson was in the control room with Rick, while Josh, Bill, and I were in our usual places, and the night was off to a pretty good start.We also had a new person on hand. Remember how I'd jokingly mentioned we needed a Mommy in the Stupid Room a few months back? Well, we now have someone to fill that position, and I must say that Lindsey was taking to the job eagerly. I, myself, ended up with two time-outs...

There was much rejoicing in the studio in the early going, as Rick and I explained how I'd killed Jeffie the week before. This turn of events came to pass on an edition of The Last Exit For The Lost, our sister show in Ithaca. Guilty confession time: I had actually considered that visit to The Last Exit as a defection from The Metallic Onslaught. After events during our Halloween show, I'd decided I needed to get away from Jeffie permanently, and considering he's not allowed on The Last Exit...You see where I was going? Well, that particular night on The Last Exit was they're Tribute To The Past Russian Roulette show. No new music was played, and the Russian Roulette aspect comes from a random selection of songs that are played. Any songs that fall into the category of overplayed, cheesy, or covers are considered "bullets", and if a bullet plays, somebody has to draw a slip of paper from a bag. Written on the slip is a random action or activity that the person must carry out. At some point, somebody pulled a slip with Jeffie's name on it, meaning that Jeffie had to be called to come to The Last Exit... Seriously, what are the frickin' odds?Well, as soon as Jeffie got there, I was on him like white on rice, bludgeoning him to death with a liter bottle of Mountain Dew and disemboweling him with a piece of broken record. What's even worse is that, in my rage, I seem to have torn what was left of Jeffie in half, literally grabbing a butt cheek in each hand and TEARING! Yeah, it was a hell of a mess! By the end of that night on The Last Exit, I'd reconsidered my decision to leave the Onslaught, and not just because we didn't have Jeffie to worry about anymore. I became the subject of a bullet, and my slip of paper simply said "Porno Joe". Meaning that Just Joe gave me a lap dance, much to my sheer terror...

So, with all that in mind and knowing that Jeffie wouldn't be tormenting us anymore, Rick was cool enough to play some Jackyl for me, thinking we could get away with it in Joe's absence. Hey, I saw absolutely no harm in enjoying "The Lumberjack"!

Well, somebody else seemed to think that it was a bad idea...

Imagine our surprise when the Demon Azkath himself showed up! The guy came in with Foul Mouth Girl and Just Joe, and proceeded to not only chloroform Rick, but he also took over the show! AND HE BLAMED ME!!! Not just for playing Jackyl, either, he'd also admitted that Jeffie's death was part of it, as well as some previous invasions by the Onslaught. Invasions by the Onslaught? Now, he couldn't possibly have meant our interrupting their interview with Moore a couple months ago? Hell, that was just all in good fun! Okay, so Azkath's the kind of guy who seems to carry a grudge, and this was his method of payback. On top of everything else, when Rick regained consciousness, HE blamed me for the takeover as well! Hell, if I'd known playing Jackyl would spark that kind of reaction, I'd have left well enough alone. Funny thing is, Rick grudgingly agreed that Azkath had been doing a good job in the control room, prompting the Demon to relinquish control of the show back to Rick. Now, one would think that things would have gone a little more smoothly, but I'd been really leary around Just Joe that evening. He claimed that he didn't remember giving me the lap dance that night on The Last Exit, but he sure didn't waste any time stripping to his boxers and bouncing on my lap again! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Yeah, it was too much to take, and I ran for it. Don't know how the rest of the evening went, but I'd had enough!So, here's hoping that the next show will be back to normal, and that Joe won't be too angry at the turn of events during his absence...

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So this night, everyone from The Metallic Onslaught went to see Overkill at The Montage Music Hall in Rochester. Everyone EXCEPT Jeffie. What they didn't know, despite him warning them he would, is that Jeffie was going to take over The Metallic Onslaught this night. And he did. Apparently Joe got wind of it a bit more than halfway through, but it was really too late...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; I'd been looking forward to this show, especially when you consider I missed out on last year due to my foot surgery. Yep, celebrating Halloween on the Onslaught was a great way to kick off what would be a full weekend of fun!

Rick had brought an old friend by the name of Will along, and he definitely seemed to fit in with the rest of the crew, especially when it came time to beat on Jeffie at the end of the show! Turns out that he's done radio before, in the Buffalo area. I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of him!

Jeffie seemed a little confused when he arrived. Being in costume for this show, I was foregoing my wolf form, and Jeffie kept thinking I was Josh, and also thinking Josh was me. Yeah, it got a little annoying trying to keep him straight, but it would get worse before the night was over!

So, it seems that Jeffie's got an alternate personality called Pepe that he was embracing for the evening. So, he comes out in a Mexican bandito outfit, complete with a sombrero, a wool poncho, and maracas...Gotta say, that poncho was more than just a little on the itchy side, as Bill and I both got our heads wrapped up in it. Of course, then Jeffie had to try dressing me up as Pepe.This didn't go over too well to begin with, since I was already pretty satisfied with my zombie-demon (demon-zombie? Hmmmm...) get-up. But, before you could say "South Of The Border", I had the sombrero, the poncho, the sunglasses, and even the maracas.I tried to make the most of it, though, right up to the point where Jeffie used his bandanna to dose me with chloroform...I don't remember much after that, just that I was starting to come back to my senses and was still pretty groggy when something utterly unthinkable happened. Apparently Jeffie was pretty sure he'd killed me, and Joe had told him to give me mouth-to-mouth.Now, imagine my shock when Jeffie's tongue made it's way down my esophagus! Yep, I was pretty outraged, I must say. I even tried strangling him with his own poncho once he was finished with concert listings.

The night pretty much spiraled down from there, ending with Will and I beating on Jeffie, and Jeffie clutching Bill's leg and being dragged about the studio.

So, in retrospect, I've gotta say I'm still pretty mortified by the whole "mouth-to-mouth" thing. This whole I-Dosing thing has obviously only made Jeffie worse, and in the interest of getting away from him permanently, as of this weekend, I'M LEAVING THE METALLIC ONSLAUGHT! That's right, I can't go back there, Jeffie wins, they can have him. I'm hooking up with The Last Exit For The Lost starting this Saturday night!

Really, it can't possibly be any worse than hanging with Jeffie!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Well, I'd say the big topic of conversation for the evening was the High On Fire show that the five of us attended the previous Saturday. It was definitely a kick-ass night all around, with all three bands pretty much bludgeoning us. In a good way! I think I may have finally pushed Joe over the edge in the early portion of the show. As in during the first talk break... I'd brought up a confession I'd made on our way to the High On Fire show (mostly in jest, by the way!) I'd mentioned that I should build a shrine to Jackyl, complete with a giant golden chainsaw that could be used for sacrificial purposes. Joe didn't really seem too keen on discussing the matter too much, but I took it a step further by mentioning that I'd also added Jesse James DuPree as a friend on Facebook! Joe's response?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

He seemed to have regained his composure by the next talk break, though. Good thing, too, because by then we'd had a visitor arrive from Roc City Roller Derby. Yep, it had been over a year since Shockin' Audrey's last visit, and she was kind enough to bring us up to speed on her status. She's been out of action since June, when she suffered a broken leg. Happy to say that she's up and about, now, though, and pretty much ready to hit the track again! She was also promoting the season's closing bout on November 13 at the Dome Arena in Henrietta. Proceeds from this bout will be going to the Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester, and will feature a silent auction where bidders can walk away with plaster castings of...well...the breasts of some of the derby girls! That's right, these casts have been painted and decorated, and will be up for bid, and it's all for a good cause! Just think of the potential these have as far as being conversation pieces!

Jeffie was on hand once again, and he's still I-Dosing. He's also become fond of a new song, which seems to be called "(We All Love) Yelling On The Radio!", or something to that effect. Kinda fun to participate in, but I can see where there's an underlying annoyance factor... Speaking of annoying, I wasn't too thrilled by the attention that was almost given to a donut I was nibbling on at one point. Seems Jeffie thought it would make a nice subject for a game of "What's In Jeffie's Pants?", but thankfully I had broken it in half and was eating it  before he had a chance to play a special game of ring toss. EWWWWWWWWW!!!

So, next up is our Halloween show, which I'm especially looking forward to. If you remember correctly, I missed out on last year's while I was recovering from my foot surgery. But I'm on hand for this year, and I can't wait to see what kind of craziness transpires!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf;If you tuned in at 9 p.m. Friday night to find...well, not sure what exactly would have been heard at that time, to be honest...anyhoo, you may have been a little disappointed. Or not? Suffice to say, the show had been pre-empted by an hour due to circumstances beyond our control... Okay, so we went live at 10:00 instead, it was all good. It was actually a relatively calm night, with a bigger focus on the music, which, as I've said before, is never a bad thing! Kinda nice to push the silliness in the Stupid Room (as we've affectionately come to call it) off to the sides every now and then. Besides, quiet nights like these usually result in twice the craziness when things go back to "normal" on the following week.

So, as far as music goes, we were featuring new material from Flotsam And Jetsam, which is actually REALLY, REALLY good, more than worth a listen or two! Triptykon has a new EP coming out soon, and we were more than happy to feature "Shatter", the discs title track. I'll be gettin' my paws on that one, without a doubt. We also threw some High On Fire and Torche into the mix, as we anticipated seeing both bands (along with Kylesa) at Waterstreet Music Hall the following night. Yep, the entire Onslaught crew were in attendance, and I'll tell ya, that was one crazy damned crowd! Personally, the best club show I've ever attended, and High On Fire are officially the heaviest band on the frickin' planet. Okay, maybe with the exception of Behemoth, but I personally haven't seen them perform yet...

Also featured some tracks from "Bitten By The Beast", which is the new solo disc from David "Rock" Feinstein of The Rods. We'd been treated to some of these tracks at a couple of shows in recent months, but there was one track in particular that I badly wanted to hear the studio version of. "Metal Will Never Die" features vocals by David's cousin, now departed metal legend, Ronnie James Dio himself. It was great hearing David performing the song live with The Rods, back in June in Ithaca, as well as last month in Auburn, but to hear the actual song off the disc, knowing it was among Ronnie's last recordings, well that's something pretty damned special in my book!

No Jeffie last week, which probably contributed greatly to the feel of "normalcy", but he'll be back this week, I'm sure. On top of that, Halloween is fast approaching, so I can only imagine how that night's going to go! Hell, last year I totally missed out on Halloween on The Metallic Onslaught as I was recovering from my foot surgery, so this year I get to make up for lost time! Heh, heh, somethin' to look forward to!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; This night saw Seneca Falls band Fleshburn drop in for a couple of hours. Imagine my surprise when I walked back into the studio after our traditional trip to Cold Stone Creamery to discover not only the band, but their manager, Jeff Barrett. Now, Jeff also plays in another Seneca Falls band by the name of Str8jacket, and I've personally known the guy since, hell, roughly the age of six or so! Yep, we go back a ways, and it was very cool to get to hang with him on the show! I actually mentioned that he needs to get Str8jacket to pay us a visit, but it seems that they are currently searching for a new drummer... Anyhoo, we were playing a few Fleshburn songs throughout the evening, and gotta say, ummmm...they're just a little on the heavy side! Okay, it's like this, the first song they mentioned was supposedly their "weakest" track, and it was anything but! Heavy, brutal, very much in the death metal vein. Good stuff, by all means keep your eyes and ears open accordingly!

Dave Henninger from Spater also joined us for a bit to let folks know that they're starting to look into booking bands for next years Fingerlakes Metal Fest. I was happy to hear that the event will actually be held a week earlier than usual, in the hopes that more people will attend if it's not on Memorial Day weekend. That's right, no excuses! Next year you don't have to worry about passing it up for a camping trip, and I won't have to worry about missing it because I have to work the entire holiday weekend!

Gotta point out a great moment that Josh had. During one of the music breaks, while chatting with the guys in the band, we somehow got on the subject of anal leakage (you know, chips, Olestra, unpleasant oozing from your bum...don't ask me how these things come up, they just do!) Josh joked that Anal Leakage would be a great name for a Grindcore band, and I told him I'd have to search the name out on MySpace, just for shits and giggles. Well, Bill whipped out his trusty Droid-X and searched it out himself, and guess what? THERE'S AN ACTUAL GRINDCORE BAND ON MYSPACE CALLED ANAL LEAKAGE!!! I shit you not, it's actually there! Of course, we had to bring this up on the air, which everybody agreed was a terribly wrong thing to discuss on the air. But discuss it we did, and it was pretty damned funny!

Another source of amusement was our teasing Bill about his interest in going to see Lady Gaga's show in Buffalo next March. Yes, Bill is probably a little more diverse than the rest of us in his listening interests, and he likes some of Lady Gaga's material. For my part, I don't really care for her music, but I've heard enough about her live shows to admit a grudging semi-interest. But, no, I'm passing on that one. Got myself in enough hot water just by going to see Jackyl!

No Jeffie on this show, and it was mentioned that he was probably at Wicked Ithaca. I'd brought up a bit of news I'd heard though, and passed along that he was in rehab after i-dosing just a little too much. This news was greeted by general disinterest from the rest of the crew, which really wasn't very surprising. Should be interesting to see if he happens to find his way back to us this week!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Previously, the Onslaught had been pre-recorded as we all made our way to The Haunt in Ithaca to check out some great bands at a show that was hosted by our sister program, The Last Exit For The Lost. Gotta say, it was very cool that we all got down there to hang out with that crew, since it really doesn't happen very often. But, this week it was back to business as usual, meaning our usual mix of music and mayhem! Lance had dropped in for a bit, and once again we found ourselves discussing Jackyl's free show at the State Fair. I just can't seem to find a leg to stand on with this one, but at least Lance was able to try to back me up a bit. Hey, I'm of the mind that if something is pleasing to your ears, then more power to you. That's how I've always approached this kind of music. Not every genre or sub-genre is going to be to everybody's tastes, and I'm cool with that. Personally, my favorites fall into the categories of straight hard rock, shock rock, power metal, and thrash, plus a little bit of death and black metal. That is just how I'm wired, and I don't expect everybody to like the same things I get into. Besides, I've said before that it's our listening diversity that makes for a great little radio show! So, I just take the ribbing about Jackyl with a grain of salt, even if Joe seems to think I need to be sacrificed to Shagrath at the Dimmu Borgir show that's coming to Buffalo in December. Hell, I know he doesn't really mean it. At least, I hope he doesn't...

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So this show was just Jeffie and Joe, pre-recorded because all involved were at The Haunt in Ithaca for a Last Exit for the Lost Show... They still managed to have a good time...  I believe Joe even admitted hosting the show with Jeffie was.... Fun. Listen for it.

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; We had a return visit from some of our Roc City Roller Derby friends on this edition, specifically Ja-Boodie, Izzy Normous, and Cuss Muffin, who incidentally had recently returned from Nicaragua. Yep, our Cuss is a worldly lady, and always has some cool stories to relate about her travels. They were, of course, on hand to promote last night's bout at the Dome Arena. Not sure how that went for them, but I'm sure the ladies skated their hearts out. At least those who aren't on the injured list, as part of this evening's discussion centered around the number of casualties for this season. C'mon girls, stay healthy!

Now, as those of you who listen regularly know, I'd acquired a very large plush version of Animal from The Muppet Show a few months back. Well, after Friday night, Animal is no longer in my care, and it's probably for the best. He'd taken a bit of abuse and was showing more than a little wear and tear. The new owner of Animal is none other than Cuss Muffin herself, who is a tremendous fan of The Muppets, and when she'd expressed interest in him awhile back, I'd decided that if she really wanted him, I'd hand him over the next time she paid us a visit. Let me tell ya, that was one happy Derby girl who left on Friday night! Hey, in the long run, I'd rather see Animal stay in one piece with somebody who'd be happy with him than see the poor thing get decimated during the radio show. Take care of him, Cuss!

I'd taken a bit of abuse during the evening for going to see Jackyl's free show at the State Fair last Monday. I was fully expecting to take a ribbing over it, yet was completely unrepentant for having seen them. As I've said, we all have our favorite styles when it comes to heavy music, and some of my favorite bands are just straight up hard rock. The important part is that I had a GREAT time at that show. Besides, I'll have some upcoming opportunities to redeem myself as I take in upcoming shows from the Gruesome Twosome (Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie) on their Halloween Hootenanny tour, as well as High On Fire, Overkill, and quite possibly Dimmu Borgir in Buffalo! Sooooo many good shows coming up!

One of the cooler moments of the show, for me at least, came when we played a Sister Sin song for none other than The Hardcore Legend, Mick Foley, himself! "Wow, Wulfie, how did this come about?", you may ask. Well, it's kinda like this. Two weeks ago, Joe had played a Nasty Savage song that featured an appearance from Luna Vachon, a former WWE wrestler who had recently passed away. A day or so later, I was reading Mick Foley's blog, where he'd taken some time to pay his respects to Luna and relate some of his experiences with her over the years. I'd left a comment for Mick telling him about Joe's tribute, and Mick had actually responded with some interest in the show. I'd sent him a message via MySpace to fill him in a bit, and he responded with a thank you and a request for us to play some Sister Sin, as they're his new favorite band! Seriously, how damned cool is that? Or course we had to come through on this! Don't know if Mick was actually listening, but we delivered for him, by God!

I've gotta give myself a little credit, here. As I was relating that Mick Foley story, I had to attempt to ignore some distracting behavior from Jeffie, who seemed to think I'd appreciate a back massage at that moment... Then Cuss Muffin and Billiam joined him... Talk about grace under pressure. Hey, at least my back felt better! But, yeah, this led to some aggravation with Jeffie. Yep, I'd pretty much reached my limit of tolerance, and I actually told him I was going to make a trip down to Ithaca's The Last Exit For The Lost to have a discussion with the Demon Azkath. Jeffie, of course, was undeterred and wanted to come along with me. Seems Azkath doesn't really want Jeffie around either... That's okay, though, 'cuz I DID make that trip, and I think we've got a solution to make Jeffie less annoying in the coming weeks!

It won't, however, occur on the next show. Seems that next week's edition of The Metallic Onslaught will be pre-recorded as we all attend a very cool Last Exit For The Lost-hosted show at Ithaca's The Haunt. Yep, we are ALL going there to see Vindicator, Moore, Angels Beneath Me, and a special guest band who are coming down from Canada. If you like old-school thrash metal, this show may just be up your alley! Besides, how many opportunities do those involved with BOTH radio shows have to hang out on the same night? This is gonna kick ass!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Seemed a little strange this week, I must say, not that there wasn't a valid reason. Bill, Rick, and myself had all taken a little pre-show trek to Suzy's Tavern in Auburn to check out Torment The Vein. This show also featured 9 Round and Caustic, and I'm sure if it weren't for the fact that we still wanted to hit the airwaves, we would have stayed for the other bands as well. There'll be other opportunities, though!


So, yes, it was a tad awkward walking into the show at about 11:30 to find Jeffie had beaten us! And he was in Rick's spot in the control room! On top of that, Josh hadn't joined us since he'd gone to the State Fair to see Coheed and Cambria's free show at Chevrolet Court. Yep, things definitely felt a little off-kilter, so to speak! It wasn't long after we arrived that I was petitioning strongly for Rick and Jeffie to trade to their usual spots. Nothing against Rick personally, at all, but Lordy, I don't think I want to know what that guy ate Friday! I even ended up visiting Joe and Jeffie in the control room, for the simple fact that it just smelled better in there! Of course, another visit was a little less pleasant for Jeffie. Seems someone thought he'd goad me into a chorus of Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name". Most other nights, with any other band, it probably would have worked. But, Wulfie's not a Bon Jovi fan... I ended up making my way into the control room, and those listening probably heard me slapping Jeffie around a bit as I yelled, "DO I LOOK LIKE A BON JOVI FAN TO YOU!?!?!?!?!?" Oh, Jeffie, Jeffie, Jeffie... I also asked him if he'd been into my mushroom collection again, because he started spouting some nonsense about unmasking me last week. Honestly, I had to ask him if he was on crack! Now, I have a feeling someone hacked my recap last week, saying some slanderous b.s. I wouldn't trust that at all! Nope, not in a million years! And if any video happens to pop up, well, don't trust that either... I am well and truly a wolf! Count on it! : )


Now, there was some speculation on this particular evening that had to do with the theory that all the stupid on the show seems to hover in the "other room", where Bill, Josh, Lance, myself, and most recently Tim, hang out. Hell, I figured it would be a little more sane in there, since Jeffie was in the control room. I mean, it stood to reason that all the stupid should have followed Jeffie in there, right? Wrong... I think I can categorically say, after an evening of Rick (yes, and me, too!) playing the "butt trumpet", and Bill playing some crazy sound bits off of his Droid-X, we have plenty of our own stupidity going on! Which is why, during the final talk break, we admitted that "WE NEED A MOMMY IN THE STUPID ROOM"!!!!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Featured a lot of new music this week, with tracks from Accept, Death Angel, and former Nightwish vocalist, Tarja. From what I heard, you probably can't go wrong with any of them, although I'd personally say that the new Accept material seemed to stand out a little more. I definitely need to hear some more of that one...

Elmira death-metallers, Sorrow Of Batavia, had joined us in the studio. We'd been wanting to get them on the show for some time, and it proved to be well worth the wait. These guys flat-out blew us away when we first started playing their material on the show a few months back, one of those cases where our ears perked up and we said, "This is great, who the hell is this?" Further proof that there are some great bands throughout the area, if you look hard enough! The guys were a great deal of fun to hang with. Hell, one of the members even joined Bill, Rick, Josh, and myself on a run to Cold Stone Creamery in between talk breaks. Seems Bryan LOVES Cold Stone just as much as we do, and told Bill he'd even ride in the trunk if he had to. Bill had told him, jokingly, that there was probably room for him in the trunk. And he was right! Yes, I bullshit you not when I say that Bryan rode with us IN THE TRUNK of Bill's Nissan! We squeezed him into the back seat on the way back, though. Would've been a little difficult for him to eat his ice cream if he went back into the trunk...

Anyhoo, on to some of the craziness of the evening.

I got into a bit of a tussle with Jeffie. Can't seem to remember what sparked it, but things eventually got out of hand with his continued insistence that I'm not really a wolf and his belief that I wear a mask.Well, things came to a head during a talk break. Yep, Jeffie'd been slapping me on the snout all night, and I'd had enough! However, during one of our tussles, he got one hand on my snout and one hand on the back of my head, and then he started to twist...For those listening, you probably heard me yelling, which led to a blood-curdling scream as Jeffie twisted my head until it faced backwards.Then, you probably heard a thud as I hit the floor...Then, you probably heard me yell "THAT DOES IT!!!"And then, you probably didn't hear anything, 'cuz I accidentally hit the "on/off" switch on the surge protector that was lying on the floor. You probably did hear some confusion from Joe and Rick in the other room just before going to the next music break! Now, what you DIDN"T get to hear was me confessing that I'm NOT REALLY A WEREWOLF AFTER ALL!!!!!(GASP!!!!) And yes, it was REALLY A MASK ALL ALONG!!!! (DOUBLE GASP!!!!) Of course, if you were still tuned in after the talk break, you got to hear that confession anyway, along with Jeffie's boasting about knowing it all along! C'mon Jeffie, I had you fooled, and you know it! It took you over a year to even get a LITTLE suspicious! The joke was all on you, bro! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!Of course, I have to admit something else that was addressed on the show. I may not actually be a real werewolf, but I DID eat Jeffie's Llamas a couple months ago...EWWWWW!!!

So, yeah, for the record, let me introduce myself: My real name is Randy, and I only PRETEND to be a headbanging werewolf! But I'm sure you were all smart enough to put that together, anyway...One thing's certain: It's only gonna get crazier from here! I mean, eventually somebody else has to hear what God's message was, don't they?

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Had a couple of surprises on this particular evening, as we were paid a visit not only from Lance, but also Lance's friend, Tim.Now, Tim's been on the show before, and I'm not 100% sure what he's involved with now, but I know as of his last visit, he was employed by Century Media. So, here's a guy who's got some closer insight to the business than we'll probably ever have. Not that I'm complaining about my little niche in all this fun, but it's kinda cool to have that extra perspective on hand from time to time. Looks like he might be hanging with us a bit more in the coming weeks, and I say the more the merrier!

Probably the funniest discussion of the evening centered around a tattoo idea for Josh. Lance suggested we all kick in for Josh to get the Helloween pumpkin design for his first tat, with the stipulation that the tat has to go on his lower back.Josh really wasn't down with the idea of a Helloween tramp stamp so to speak, but if he wants it someplace else, he's gotta pay for it himself.Of course, this concept went further as we discussed an old 80's band called Rail, who I'd remembered had a video for a song called "1,2,3,4 Rock N' Roll", and I never heard much of them since then.Well, somewhere along the line it was mentioned that maybe Josh could get a Rail tramp stamp. I went so far as to suggest that it wouldn't be so bad, as long as it wasn't a prison tattoo, because then it would give new meaning to the term "running a train"...Which led Joe to mention something about Josh's cellmate would be someone named "Gerbil"...Yeah, things spiraled down pretty low, I must say!

Possibly one of the more uncomfortable moments of the evening came when Joe went to play an Exodus song, and decided to share a couple of terrible covers from the disc in question. He didn't play the full songs, just a minute or two from each, but even that much of listening to Exodus doing versions of "Bitch" by The Rolling Stones and "Pump It Up" by Elvis Costello proved to be almost unbearable.But, we got through it only slightly worse for wear.

Also got into a little discussion about some upcoming shows (they're still teasing me about wanting to see Jackyl...), which led into a further discussion about the future of the Penny Arcade in Rochester. Now, it's been close to a year since this place hosted any shows, and it's really heartbreaking to think that it may never open it's doors again. Place has way too much history to just sit there empty, but it seems that Joe and Bill said it best when they mentioned that the current owners just seem content to run it into the ground... Now, as far as other venues go, we've got some GREAT shows coming through to the Water Street Music Hall, who'll be hosting Gwar in October, as well as High On Fire. Not to mention the Montage, who not only just hosted Devildriver and a number of others last weekend, but who will also be hosting Overkill in November, as well as Epica.Good times, good damned times!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Focused a lot on music, as Joe played a few tracks from the Murderdolls latest disc, "Women And Children Last", as well as "The Order Of The Black", from Black Label Society.Both of these discs are already among my favorites for the year, needless to say.
As far as the usual insanity went, Billiam pretty much received his official initiation to the show, as he was the subject of some Jeffie abuse.Can't remember if I've ever mentioned these pants that Bill has had for awhile. Think of the most ridiculously flared bell bottom jeans you've ever seen, then add about ten inches in diameter. There's a reason we refer to them as the "Holy Shit Pants", I assure you...Well, Jeffie decided to try sticking his head as far up Bill's pant leg as it would go, and he made it a pretty good distance. Amazingly enough, Bill managed to handle the experience with a surprising lack of hysterics.Of course, that wasn't all. Bill's new Droid-X became the subject of a game of "Guess What's In Jeffie's Pants", as did a Jester's cap that he's fond of wearing for offbeat occasions. I think his car keys may have been involved at some point as well.Poor Bill, it was bound to happen eventually! Of course, things just deteriorated from there. Got to be a bit of a mess, actually, as cases of CD's were upturned over Jeffie's head, and a Frisbee was broken over his head...Honestly, I didn't mean to break the poor Frisbee! I didn't think I'd hit him that hard, I swear!!!!Somewhere in all the chaos, I ended up nipping Jeffie. I don't think it was a full-fledged bite, but things got our of hand. He seemed to think he was going to become a werewolf, and eventually he put on this really cheap-looking vinyl wolf mask.I mean, really, it looked like something you'd buy at the zoo...Well, we called his bluff soon enough, and further carnage ensued.All has been recorded for posterity, so keep your eyes open for the impending video footage. I have a feeling it's gonna be worth more than a few chuckles!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Alright, admittedly I wasn't there for a good portion of the show. Truth be told, Josh and Joe were pretty much on their own, since Rick, Billiam, and myself had all gone to see the Carnival Of Madness stop in Canandaigua.

Steve Papagiorgio had stopped in, along with the members of Lowkey. They were on hand to promote the upcoming Hage Fest, a whole weekend of metal music! Looks like they've got a helluva lineup, including local and non-local talent. I'd say it's probably going to be a must-see, and I'm pretty sure I heard mention of our own Rick Horton emceeing the show on that Saturday. Hell, work permitting, ya might even see a Wulf out there!

Billiam and I arrived shortly after 11:30, and we were more than happy to share the events of our evening.

I'm still seeing tentacles. Kinda played it down on Friday night, though. I figure we can get all this hashed out when Jeffie returns to the show this Friday night, maybe find out exactly what's going on here...
Maybe it's time to share the message with everybody else!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; I think we experienced some kind of record in the early portion of the show, as Jeffie joined us at approximately 9:15 p.m. My GOD! He's NEVER that early! What the hell?
Then he explained that he was just showing up late from last week, which kind of ruined our moment, damn him!
Anyhoo, it wasn't much later that we were joined by Steve Papagiorgio. Surprisingly enough, he and I didn't attempt to kill each other for THE ENTIRE NIGHT!!!
That's gotta be another kind of record! Man, we're on a roll, lately!


Of course, it also could have had something to do with the fact that we had a band in the studio that night, as well. Amelia Is Dead, from Syracuse, were kind enough to join us for a couple of hours.
What can I say about Amelia Is Dead? Sound-wise, think of a hybrid of Flyleaf (with heavier guitars), Otep, and Kittie. At least those are bands that come to my mind when I hear them.
I actually caught their performance at the Women's Right To Rock Festival in Seneca Falls roughly three weeks ago, and I loved the live show. Definitely some high energy and aggressiveness from the boys in the band, and vocalist Stephanie Smile has got a scream that will pretty well curdle your brains after she pierces your eardrums.
They also recently got to perform at the Darien Lake stop of the Van's Warped Tour, which I believe is the biggest show they've played so far. I think it's safe to say that there's loads of potential there, and I wouldn't be surprised to see bigger and better shows in their future.
All in all, had a damned good time hanging with them, and I believe we'll be seeing more of them in the coming months, quite possibly with an acoustic performance in the studio! Something to look forward to!

So, I don't remember much of what happened after the band left.
Truth is, I was kept muzzled throughout the evening, particularly while Amelia Is Dead were visiting. I'm assuming this had to do with the fact that I was still seeing tentacles. Part of me wants to take comfort in the fact that Jeffie and even Steve could see them, which tells me that maybe I'm really NOT going crazy!

Of course, Steve says he was seeing tentacles AND testicles, so I don't even want to fucking speculate as to what's up with that shit...

Anyway, I was able to slip the muzzle off once or twice, thankfully. Damned thing was uncomfortable as hell, truth be told. Don't even fully understand why they felt the need for it, I suppose they felt I might embarrass them in front of the band or something...

But, as I was saying, it was after the band left that things get blurry. All I remember is waking up in the basement of the studio and Bill helping me out shortly thereafter. Good thing he showed up, too, or he may not have gotten me to my 25-year class reunion in time!
Got the story from Bill in the meantime, though, and it seems that I just went completely bat-fuck insane during a music break. I guess I was screaming "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!", over and over, and attacking the walls, not to mention beating the utter shit out of Animal, who we'd had propped up in a safe place while the band was there. I guess this prompted Joe to lure me into the basement, and lock me in there until I calmed down.
All I can say is I hope I didn't damage Animal too badly, and I hope Joe's not gonna be too pissed that Bill broke me out again!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; More or less a quiet evening, which, as usual, meant a greater focus on music. Pretty much the way it should be!
Early discussions focused on last week's Battery show in Clyde, still can't believe the tribute band played longer than Metallica could ever have dreamed of...wow...
We also somehow got on the topic of "Shandi", a tune that is historically significant only because it is the absolute WORST KISS SONG EVER WRITTEN!!!
To be brutally honest, I'd rather listen to "Music From The Elder", front to back, a thousand times over, than ever have to hear "Shandi" again...
Believe me, I'm pretty sure the listening audience got a damned good dose of just how bad this song is when I started singing snippets of it on the air. Honestly, I don't mind the occasional breaking into song thing, but belting out "Shandi" left me feeling just a little nauseous.
Damn, I'm gettin' queasy just thinking about it...mmmph...
Jesus Christ, it's no wonder Peter and Ace left the fuckin' band...

Discussing "Shandi" seemed to leave a bad taste in all our mouths, so it's a damned good thing Rick mentioned that a Cold Stone Creamery had just opened in the Tim Horton's, which is conveniently located a short distance up the road from the station. Yep, an ice cream break was just what the doctor ordered, and I strongly recommend the Peanut Butter Cup Perfection!
Mmmmmm, ice cream!

Around the time that we would normally have been expecting Jeffie, we got word from him via phone and text that he couldn't make it, due to bus issues. Somebody mentioned tires, to be precise, prompting me to ask if he'd tried taking the square ones off...
Rick (or was it Joe? hmmmm...) mentioned that Jeffie should just try the old Fred Flintstone technique, to which I replied that Jeffie actually looks more like Captain Caveman...
Seems that Jeffie had also mentioned that the show would be fine in my hands.
Okay, so does it seem to anybody else that getting a vote of confidence from Jeffie is a bit of a dubious honor? Anybody else not quite trusting that?
Yeah, thought so...

So, no Jeffie meant that reading the listings for upcoming shows fell into Joe's hands. Eventually we got onto a discussion of some of the free shows coming to the State Fair this year, and there's actually a pretty good line-up, if you're looking for some rock. Of particular interest to me are Blue Oyster Cult (who I just recently saw in Farmington, and they were GREAT!), Kansas, Coheed And Cambria (yes, they are performing for FREE!), and Jackyl.
Now, personally I was pretty excited about Jackyl, but it seems the other guys just don't share my appreciation for some good ol' redneck rock. Not even breaking into a little bit of "I Stand Alone" could sway them, and I happen to think that's a pretty bad-ass song!
Guess it all boils down to taste, and we all have our preferences on the Metallic Onslaught. Part of what makes it a good solid show, if you ask me!

So, it seems that in some ways I really wasn't keeping it together very well on the show that night.
I can't remember much of what Jeffie had whispered in my ear last week, but I can definitely say that something is really, REEEAAALLY weird. I mean, all I saw that night were tentacles! Little by little, throughout the evening, there were more and more of them! At first, it was just one or two caressing Josh's shoulder, and then there was a mass of them all over the place by the end of the night!
And nobody else could see them! What the fuck is up with that? How could they NOT see all of that green, slimy squishiness?
Of course, knowing what I saw and where those tentacles were going, maybe it's just as well that they couldn't see anything...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Now, last week I explained some of my reservations about resurrecting Jeffie. Tough decision, and I'd actually told the other guys on the show that I wasn't going to do it...
But, of course I did...
I mean, come on, Azkath just would have sent more. Hell, there was apparently one night before I joined up where there were 40 Jeffies, and they had to kill 39 of them!
In the end, I decided that it would be the lesser of two evils to just go ahead and resurrect the Jeffie that was sacrificed last week...
Of course, there was that whole bath thing to take care of. After a week of rotting in the heat, Jeffie's corpse was in pretty rough shape. I mean, we had to clean chipmunk nests out of his hair! EWWWWW!!!
Of course, the chipmunks themselves just served as a little snack for me. Hey, waste not, want not!
Josh had even contributed to the bath by adding a little of this and that to at least make Jeffie smell a little better when he came back.
So, at least he was nice and lemon-y fresh when he came downstairs, completely bare-assed naked...
I never, EVER want to see that again...
Anyway, when it came time for Jeffie to reveal God's plan to The Metallic Onslaught, he revealed that none of us were worthy of hearing it.
Well, with the exception of me...
Admittedly, I was a little skeptical about being the only person on the show who was deserving of this...ummm...honor..., and I almost didn't go for it. But in the end...Ia...
I did...Ia...
And the word of God...Cthulhu...apparently drove me...Fhtagn...
quite...
insane...
To be honest, I really don't remember much...something about seals and singing "Strawberry Fields"...
Hmmmmmmm...
Hey, look, a tentacle!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Fun night, overall. Not only did we have Dave from Spater on hand for a couple of hours, we actually had the entire BAND in the studio! Which was cool as hell, 'cuz they've got a great show coming up this Saturday night at Donselaar's in Clyde. Yep, Spater is opening for Battery, the only Metallica tribute band that is ACTUALLY APPROVED BY METALLICA! Now, I've seen Battery, and I'll tell ya something: They are as close as you can get to the real deal without forking over roughly $90.00 a ticket. Yes, THEY ARE THAT GOOD!
Of course, if you're not a Metallica fan, you probably won't care, and that's okay! For my part, I'm gonna be there throwin' the horns and giving myself a case of whiplash...hopefully DURING Whiplash!

By the way, this recap is being typed as i enjoy my very last cigarette...or what I HOPE to be my last cigarette! It ain't gonna be easy for the next couple of days, but your fuzzy friend here is bound and determined that he's kickin' the habit! Just be careful approaching me the next couple of days, I might nip...

Anyhoo...

Well, I waited an awful long time to do this, but it has finally happened. I've experienced my very first Jeffie death on the show!
Now, if you remember correctly, I had to sacrifice Jeffie in order for him to reveal God's plan for the Metallic Onslaught. Of course, leave it to him to reveal that his death would have to take place during the last talk break of the evening. Then he tells us that his body has to rot in the studio before we resurrect him on the next show, using the same "Resurrection Bath" that was used on Josh as a trial run.
So, yes, in the closing moments of the show, I went on a little rampage of Jeffie destruction, and after what seemed like an eternity, he finally died. Which was my cue to break out that little Wal-Mart greeting card that plays the Hamster Dance. This was followed by Joe playing Angtoria's "God Has A Plan For Us All", as I felt it was a fitting piece of music.

Now, I've got a few reservations about how all this is going to turn out.
Here's the deal: Jeffie's, as I understand it, are clones of Jeff The Radio Guy, who in turn is a clone of the Demon Azkath from The Last Exit For The Lost, our sister show. Before, when a Jeffie died, Azkath would just send another along.
However, this time we're resurrecting a Jeffie, and I'm a little leery about some complications that could occur.
I mean, is it possible that this Jeffie could come back to life worse than before he died? Will he be altered in some horrible way? Will it even work? What if the bath wasn't prepared properly?
And even worse! What is Azkath sends ANOTHER Jeffie clone, anyway? Can we really handle a new Jeffie and a resurrected Jeffie?
I'm a little nervous about how this next show is gonna go, I have to admit!
Well, regardless of what transpires next, at least we'll have some good music to enjoy before the shit hits the fan!

Listen to the Show - Pictures


Recap by The Metal Wulf; So, we weren't really expecting anybody as far as guests this week, pretty much figuring most of the focus would be on the music. Hey, it IS a radio show after all! But, unexpected things happen...
There were some technical difficulties in the early going, but thankfully we got them squared away in a somewhat timely manner. Be thankful you couldn't hear what was going on in the station in the first five to ten minutes or so, there would have been some interesting things heard as some of us explored our range of creative profanity. Okay, maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but it's just as well it didn't make it over the airwaves!

Probably the most unexpected event of the evening was the return of Lance! Yeah, you read that correctly, after a hiatus of about six months or so (some would suggest years, but that was all in good fun!) Lance dropped in to catch up with us. He was kind enough to share some recently acquired music, and true to form it was heavy on the 80's glam. Hey, no complaints here, for the most part. Although I think we could have done without that Heavy Pettin' song, and to be honest, that re-recording of Dokken's "Tooth And Nail" probably wasn't the greatest thing ever. Musically, pretty sound, but I think Don's vocals were much better the first time around!
All in all, I'd say we were all pretty pleased that he showed up, though, and he promises it won't be another six months between visits.
Hmmmm...time shall tell...

Forgot to mention something about the closing moments of last week's show: Jeffie felt he needed a little reminder of what exactly God's message for the Onslaught was, so he asked if I had any more of those mushrooms. At first I told him that he'd already eaten them all, but it turned out that there were a handful or so left, which he immediately ate in the closing moments.
Well, once he showed up for this week's fun, we asked him how it all went. He knew of two things:
A. He'd been told that Lance would show up. Ummmm, yeah, easy enough to say after the fact Jeff-ward, try again...
B. He said that he would have to be killed on the show, by me. And then resurrected in the same manner that Josh had been. Seems Josh was just a test subject, to see if the process would work.

So, next week, I get to kill Jeffie and then give him the "Resurrection Bath"! Of course, I'm pretty eager to take part in my first "Jeffie Death", so I'm gonna take some time to decide exactly how I'm going to do this. I'll try to make it as memorable as possible!

We also had another edition of Jeffie's new talk show, "Long And Deep With Jeffie: Banging It In And Filling It Up All Night, Now With No Llamas", with Lance as his first guest.
Attempts at getting any insight into Lance's whereabouts over the recent months proved to be mostly fruitless, with Lance mostly commenting on just how much of an idiot Jeffie is. Really, the most that was revealed had something to do with taking a Red Rocket to Uranus, and I really don't think most folks wanna hear about that...

Oh, and how could I forget! My brother Bill was on hand again to hang with us, and we'd brought our own little special guest. Seriously, one man's trash is another's treasure, and as soon as Bill and I saw that life-sized plushie of Animal from The Muppet Show at a local yard sale, we immediately knew there'd be a place for him in conjunction with the show! We'll be bringin' him back for some fun, guaranteed! In the meantime, you'll see him in this week's photos once they're posted!

Yep, that pretty much covers the major bases, I'd say. Although, I would like to mention that no hedgehogs were actually harmed on the show that night. Hey, it's not OUR fault that some toy maker decided to make a hedgehog finger puppet, with the finger hole directly where the poor hedgehogs bunghole would be!
It WAS funny as hell, though!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Okay, so one of those nights where things didn't go quite according to plan. Sorrow Of Batavia couldn't make it, and there was no sign of Richard Venice or Dewey, but hell, that's alright. These circumstances usually just mean more focus on music, and maybe just a little more random silliness. Not such a bad thing, really!

I got the guys laughing pretty hard early on in the show as we all shared a Beavis And Butthead moment. I've been able to do a solid imitation of Mr. Anderson's voice for years, and it's always good for a chuckle, but this went on for a good chunk of the talk break, and at one point I'm pretty sure I had Rick in tears from laughing so hard!
Hey, just a sign that I'm doing something right!

Josh departed a little early, and there was some speculation as to why. We think it may have been because I didn't let him ride me around the parking area again. Hey, what the hell does he want? I'm a werewolf, not a damned pony! Besides, once should be enough!
Jeeeeeez...

Jeffie continued his doubtful ways as to my status as a lycanthropic terror. Jeeez, this guy just doesn't give up!
He even went so far as to introduce a new interview segment called "Long And Deep With Jeffie: Banging It In, Filling Up All Night (Now With Extra Llamas!)".
Gotta give him credit, he pulled through with the llamas. There were probably about half a dozen or so roaming around the studio.
So, we had our little interview, and I had to go into the whole back story of my origins as a werewolf again. For those who missed out on the story when I first appeared on the show, here's a synopsis:

In January of 1984 (the week of my 18th birthday!), Ozzy Osbourne came to Rochester, NY on his Bark At The Moon tour. This was my first show, and on my way back to the car I got separated from my friends somehow. I'd found my way to the backstage area and ended up getting knocked loopy by what I suspect was a whiskey bottle thrown by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, who were the opening act on that tour.
Anyhoo...
I returned to consciousness to discover somebody urinating heavily near my prone body. Now, this really didn't sit well with me, and when I looked up and started yelling at the person to stop, I noticed it was Ozzy himself!
Well, Ozzy didn't take too well to my verbal lashings, and he immediately transformed into a werewolf in front of me! (Just think of the Bark At The Moon cover, you'll know what I mean!) And then, he BIT ME!!!!
Well, from that night on, I not only transformed on the full moon, but I also changed whenever heavy metal music played!
Yeah, life sure got interesting after that!
Anyway, there's more to the tale, especially the events that led Steve Papagiorgio to discover me in Mexico, but that's a story for another day.
Maybe...

Further interrogation into the "hands coming off" incident occurred, and I just couldn't seem to convince him that I'm having a little problem in the excess shedding department.
I don't think Jeffie's gonna let go of this any time soon. Oh well, what ya gonna do?

The evening came to a close amidst a small amount of bloody carnage in the station. Hey, it was a full moon, and those llamas were DAMNED tasty!
Hell, I ate like a king in that last half hour, and imagine my surprise when Foul Mouth Girl decided to jump in to make a kill!
Wow, I never took her for the blood-thirsty type!
As for Jeffie, he ended the night in shock, crying over the massacre of his beloved furry llama friends.
Me? Hell, I just used a chunk of rib bone to pick my teeth!

Listen to the Show - Pictures

Download Jeffie's birthday song for Joe

Recap by Metal Wulf; Well, we were anticipating some surprises on this particular night, since we were celebrating Joe's upcoming birthday. Honestly, we had visions of Jeffie arriving with some of the crew from The Last Exit For The Lost, most likely Just Joe and Dave. Indeed, it was probably even more surprising when Jeffie arrived WITHOUT Just Joe and Dave...
He did have Genevieve from Psyche Corporation with him, however, and it was fun to get a chance to catch up with her. Always a pleasure to have her on hand!

Anyhoo, further attempts to get Jeffie to share God's plan with us proved to be fruitless. He continued to insist that the time wasn't quite right yet.
Well, I certainly hope the time is coming soon, 'cuz I think The Metallic Onslaught may have some plans for Jeffie before God can make good on His!

So, let's see, what were some of the crazier moments? Jeffie made sure he was going to make the most of spreading birthday cheer for Joe, who oddly enough decided at a couple points in time that he actually LIKED Jeffie!
Now, Joe really doesn't like Jeffie at all, so this kinda boggled our minds. Even more puzzling was Joe's showing how much he liked Jeffie by screaming "BERSERKER RAGE!!!" and pummeling the hell out of him. Then he'd come to his senses and realize that he really didn't like Jeffie after all. This happened a few times.
For further birthday enjoyment, Jeffie played a new birthday song for Joe, which we all thought was one of his coolest pieces yet. Strangely, when we actually like some of Jeffie's songs, he doesn't seem to appreciate the music. Seriously, some people just can't take a frickin' compliment!
Then there were a couple of live musical interludes, one of which featured Genevieve singing "Happy Birthday To You"...
...backwards!
Hey, it was actually kind of fun, especially with a little accompaniment from me and Foul Mouth Girl on bongos and Casio keyboard respectively.
And since we had the instruments on board, anyway, it just seemed like a fun idea to do a live jam of Jeffie's "Rubbernecking" song, which for some reason Joe and Rick just can't seem to embrace...
Just can't please some folks, I guess!

Interesting side note to that "Rubbernecking" segment:
That silly Jeffie, I gotta tell ya...
At some point a big clump of fur flew off of my hand as I was playing bongos, and Jeffie insisted that my hand itself flew off! Can you believe it?
Look, the weather's been really hot lately, and I've been shedding a lot more than normal for this time of year, that's ALL IT WAS! Honestly, Jeffie seems to think I'm trying to pull something on everybody. How many ways can I say that I am genuinely a wolf! I am a snarling, carnivorous beast! HONESTLY!!!!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: Well, talk about some bizarre situations. On the last show I pretty much succeeded in driving everybody out of their minds with my biscuit addiction. Once again, Jeffie is the primary party to blame, although I should have known better than to eat something that he offered me. But those biscuits were sooooo yummy...
Mmmmmm, biscuits...
NOOOOO!!!!

Okay, so maybe there's some lingering attachment there, but I've found other entertainments in the meantime. More on that in a bit...

Anyhoo, Joe had me sedated in my closing moments on that last show, and had supposedly dropped me off at Rehab.
Strange thing, though. I don't think most rehabs come equipped with an S&M Dungeon...
So, there I was chained to a wall surrounded by a bunch of leather-clad dingbats who thought they knew something about inflicting pain.
Poor, poor bastards...

Upon my arrival at the show, I explained the situation to the guys, explaining that the above-mentioned leather-clad folks were currently chained up for my further entertainment. Yep, I'd been teaching them a LOT over the previous week!
Imagine my surprise, though, when my handiwork was interrupted by my brother, Bill, who had arrived to rescue me from Rehab (using his amazing invisible Ninja skills!) and get me to the radio show in time to hang with Cry To The Blind.
In the end, I reluctantly left my victims where they were for the time being. I was pretty sure they'd be alright until I got back. I mean, a couple of dangling organs here and there couldn't have been THAT life-threatening, could they?

Anyways, on to the serious aspects of this weeks show: Cry To The Blind!
So, let's go back to the early part of the New Millennium, when an event called Party Project at Geneva, NY's Smith Opera House introduced me to a rap/metal combo called 40 Oz. Failure, whose sound could best be compared to Limp Bizkit. 40 Oz. Failure were a LOT heavier, and infinitely better, in my opinion.
These guys blew me away that night, as well as another band called Loopus. Over the next three years or so Bill and I took in as many shows featuring these bands as humanly possible. Seriously, I've lost track, It seems like every weekend we were seeing one or the other or both.
Well, since that time, both 40 Oz. Failure and Loopus have disbanded.
Cry To The Blind is the band that rose from the ashes of 40 Oz. Failure, with less focus on the rap aspects and more of a modern hard-rock sound. Still damned good, let me tell ya!
So, it was vocalist Jon Lamana, drummer Jay Telarico, and bassist Kory Maclauchlan who joined us in studio this week, bringing us up to date on many things, as well as reminiscing about some of the "old" days. Seriously, with enough hard work and dedication (and believe me, these guys have got it in SPADES!), the sky is the limit for this band. I wish them nothing but the best!

Anyway, other discussions drifted toward recent events concerning Jeffie. I have a feeling he may be in for a rough evening when he returns next week. I think we're all a little impatient to discover what this message from God is all about, and we may have to get some answers from him! And considering Bill has shown interest in hanging with us a bit more frequently, maybe those invisible clowns living in his pants could be of help!
Yeah, I'm expecting some extreme craziness in the coming weeks!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: This was a rough night for ol' Wulfie, I've gotta tell ya. And it's all Jeffie's fault...
The evening started off on a positive note, as Roc City Roller Derby's Cuss Muffin and Ja-Bootie joined us once again. They brought along a fresh face this evening, although we had to look up a bit to get a good look at her. At 6', 4" we were ALL looking up at Izzy-Normous.
Anyhoo, the ladies were on hand to promote their upcoming June 12th event at the Genesee Valley Sports Arena, and we were, as always, more than happy to oblige them. We LOVE our Derby!

Rick took some time to share some of his fun memories from hosting the Fingerlakes Metal Fest, and it sounded like he had himself a great time. Two days of great music, and not a bad band to be heard among them all! Hopefully next year, more of us will get to enjoy it!

On to the not so pleasant aspects of the evening...

I'd mentioned in last weeks' recap that Jeffie had handed over some biscuits for me to try, and the effects they had on me.
Well, guess who was under the impression that Jeffie was going to be back on the show, with more biscuits. Imagine the disbelief and disappointment when informed that Jeffie wasn't coming on the show that night...
That couldn't be! There had to be MORE BISCUITS, DAMMIT!!!!!
I imagine I must have gotten a little out of hand by that point, as I kept insisting that Jeffie was coming, and the guys kept telling me he that he wouldn't be returning for another TWO WEEKS!

THAT COULDN'T BE TRUE!!!

And so, Wulfie's night on the show spiraled downward into drastic stages of biscuit withdrawal, forcing Joe's hand. Yep, the only thing left to do was to take me to...

REHAB?!?!?!?!

Of course, I insisted that wasn't necessary. Why, I could quit any time I wanted, I'd be just fine!
But, no, in the end it was an early departure from the show. Rick must have found some of that elephant tranquilizer that Steve Papagiorgio used to use on me, 'cuz the next thing I felt was a little prick in my arm, and a warm, relaxing feeling as I drifted off to sleep...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Well, once again we were to pay tribute to another lost member of the tribe, this time Slipknot's Paul Gray. Always sad to see someone so young pass on, especially when their band is at the top of the current heap.
Seriously, this really sucks. I mean, I'm cool with the idea of a Rock N' Roll Heaven, but I think the Higher Powers should concentrate on someone NOT in the metal universe...

We had members of Newark's "Break The Silence" on hand for a little while. They were promoting their appearance at this weekend's Finger Lakes Metal Fest.

Josh's corpse was still there this week, so, I took a few moments to roll around in it.
If you remember correctly, I killed Josh in a bestial rage on the air in the closing moments of last weeks show. Well, it seems that somebody had just tucked his body into a corner and forgot about it, and he was gettin' pretty ripe. Perfect!
Yep, as Break The Silence promoted their show, you could hear me rolling around in near-orgasmic ecstacy, crunching some of Josh's ribs in the process...
Josh didn't take too well to that after he rose as a zombie about half an hour later...
Oddly enough he wasn't looking for revenge on me, though, although the broken ribs didn't exactly sit well with him.
Nope, he was pretty well prepared to take out all his undead aggression on Jeffie. Of course, after a little speculation he decided that eating Jeffie's brains was pretty pointless. Would've been like finding a needle in a haystack, to be honest...

Then we all started annoying the hell out of our long suffering host, Joe. Poor guy...
It's Jeffie's fault, of course. Leave it to him to come up with another annoyingly catchy song to sing along to. Before long he had Josh and I chanting along to "I Am Rubbernecking, I Am Rubbernecking..."
Really, don't ask me what it means. Who knows where Jeffie comes up with this stuff. It was just insanely fun!
Except for Joe and Rick...

Okay, guilty confession, I should know better than to nibble on anything that Jeffie offers to me, mainly because you never know where it's been, but, DAMN, those dog bisquits smelled good! They were kinda like the Lays potato chips of dog bisquits, I couldn't eat just one. In fact, before the night was over, I think I can categorically say I became addicted to them...
This didn't sit well with Joe either. I mean, one minute I'm a self-respecting werewolf, and the next I'm behaving like an attention hungry chihuahua, begging for more bisquits, whining...
What the HELL were in those things?
Of course, eventually the bisquits ran out, and Jeffie had the brilliant idea of offering me peanut butter.
Talking through peanut butter is hard enough in human form, imagine what it's like through a wolf muzzle...
And then Jeffie had to go and speculate how the peanut butter would taste if he smeared it in his armpits. My stomach just kinda lurched at the thought.
It's almost impossible to puke through a mouthful of peanut butter...
Of course, Jeffie had to remark on that particular phenomenon, describing in detail how I was vomiting peanute butter and bisquit chunks through my nose...

On top of that, before the night was over, Jeffie assured us that Josh's rising as a zombie is all part of the overall plan, as we continue toward this great revelation that he says God wants to share with us in the coming weeks. He even went so far as to prepare a special bath for Josh, which brought him back to life, pretty much the same as ever.
Of course, knowing Jeffie there's going to be a catch to this somewhere. Part of me is dreading the coming weeks...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; You never really WANT to have that moment come when you devote a portion of a radio show to the memory of one of your heroes. When it all boils down, you really just want to be selfish and go on wishing that the person in question never passed on, never had his voice forever silenced, and will still be around to continue making contributions to the music you love.
But, the reality is that Ronnie James Dio has forever left us, and that beautiful voice of his, which could go from angelic to demonic in the blink of an eye, has been silenced. There will be no more trips to the magical and sometimes frightening worlds he introduced us to in his songs.
With that being said, I'm sure we probably didn't feature the greatest tribute likely to be done in Ronnie's honor, but I'd say it was probably up there among the most heart-felt and genuine, as each and every one of us on The Metallic Onslaught know full well what Ronnie contributed to our kind of music over the years, be it with Elf, Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Dio, or Heaven And Hell.
Truth be known, each and every one of those bands was featured in our tribute, that ran slightly over the one-hour time slot that was originally planned for it. Not that any of us complained. Hell, given the opportunity, I'm sure we would've been more than happy to just keep going with it right up until the end of the show.
Ronnie, wherever you may be now, we're all going to miss you terribly. Rest In Peace!

Above and beyond that, we had Dave from Spater join us once again for some more promotion of the Finger Lakes Metal Fest, being held next weekend in Clyde! Seriously, this 2-day event has an extremely solid line-up, and shouldn't be missed if you can at all possibly avoid it!
We also had members of Lowkey on hand, who will actually be performing at the Metal Fest next week. In addition to that appearance, the boys have been hard at work on a new album. If you've been listening in recent weeks, you may have heard one of their new tracks, "Porcupine Cannonball", and in addition to that, they also provided us with another new track called "Passion". Sounded pretty damned good to me!

Jeffie was once again on hand, and he seemed a little confused in the early goings of his visit. Seems he woke up in a hole after last weeks show, which saw him getting into some mushrooms I'd gathered earlier in the day.
I actually thanked him for testing them for me. Considering the after-effects, I don't think I would've enjoyed those on a pizza...
I'd remarked to him that the last time I'd seen him, he was sitting on the roof of the station. He didn't seem to remember getting up there.
I swear, I honestly don't know how he got up there! I had nothing to do with it!
Heh heh heh...
Anyhow, he started rambling about being chased by a walrus and ending up in a hole. And then looking up from the hole to look into the starlight, where God revealed his plans for the Onslaught to him.
Riiiiiiight...
He later mentioned that he couldn't tell us God's plan until we sacrificed Josh. At first, I was a little hesitant. I mean, normally if anyone dies on the show, it's a Jeffie, and we haven't had a Jeffie death in, well...I honestly think the last one was the week before I made my first appearance!
Even then, he showed up as a zombie, and eventually another Jeffie was cloned anyway...
Seriously, you can't get rid of Jeffie forever. Azkath just keeps sending us more of them...
Anyhoo, back to God's plan.
In the long run, I decided that sometimes, in the interest of having your destiny revealed, a little bloodshed may just be a tad necessary.
So, in the closing moments of the show, in a bestial rage, I killed Josh on the air.
Sorry Josh, but God has a plan for us all!

Listen to the Show - Pictures

Recap by The Metal Wulf: Well, last night was about plowing on ahead and putting No Pants Day behind us. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone reminded Jeffie that it was over, as we were periodically subjected to his pants falling down throughout the evening...
Jeffie, Jeffie, Jeffie, what are we gonna do with you?

So, we had Joe Marro back in the studio last night, along with a couple of his bandmates from Paradyme, bass player Derek Schwarzkopf and keyboardist/vocalist John Walsh. They were not only kind enough to provide a couple of demos to play on the show, but they also plugged in for a little in-studio jam session. Things seem to be gelling very well for these guys, and we're all looking forward to seeing what else they have in store in the coming months!
Gotta say I'm getting a little concerned about Mr. Marro's state of mind, though, as I'm pretty sure we all heard him state at some point in the evening that he wanted to marry Jeffie...
Funny side note to that: My girlfriend told me today that she thought it was ME who made that remark about marrying Jeffie.
EWWWWW!



I must say, having the guys in the studio with their instruments added a little extra atmosphere to the show. John even gave a little musical accompaniment to Jeffie's reading of the concert listings.
Then there was Joe Marro and his impersonation of ummmm...
Shit, what's that guys name?
Hmmmm...one of those really unique voices, ya used to hear him all the time in movie ads and television ads...
Well, just think "In a world where werewolves rule the airwaves...", and you'll know who I mean!
Yeah, Joe did a great impersonation of that guy, prompting Foul Mouth Girl to construct a Mad Lib for him to read, using that voice, with some dramatic keyboard music thrown in. Kind of a surreal moment, but worth a chuckle!

Things got pretty goofy in the latter portions of the show. Jeffie started acting more unusual than normal, and said something about taking something he found in my bag. Took me a moment to think about that one, but I realized what he must have been referring to, and I responded with something to the effect of, "You took THOSE?"
Jeffie referred to them as Goof Balls, and that certainly seems to be a reflection of what they were doing to him.
Seriously, I thought those mushrooms were perfectly safe! Thought they'd be good on a pizza!
I guess I have Jeffie to thank for testing them out, 'cuz we now know that they probably weren't very healthy in the long run. He started to hallucinate heavily, at one point thinking Josh had turned into an elf and asking him to jump into his hand.
On top of that, he thought that I had turned into a regular man! Can you imagine that? Yep, they seemed to be pretty potent. I shudder to think of what happened to poor Jeffie after the show was over...

Listen to the Show - Pics
Download The No Pants Day Song!

Recap by The Metal Wulf: Okay, it's a wrap. My very first celebration of No Pants Day on The Metallic Onslaught is officially done and over, so any feelings of unrest and overwhelming discomfort can get shelved.
Until next year, anyway...

We had quite the gathering this year, too. Karma-Lized from Roc City Roller Derby joined us with a few of the girls, specifically Ja-Boodie, Mia Malicious, and Camaraderie. We were more than happy to give them some time to introduce themselves, discuss how they got into Roller Derby, and promote their season opener.

Wrestler's Dewey Murray, aka The Man Of 1,000 Gimmicks and "Super Bad" Richard Venice also joined us once again. They took full advantage of No Pants Day by donning their wrestling tights, and decided to promote an upcoming Rochester show with me sandwiched firmly between them.
I was told this was one of the funnier moments of the show. Let's put it this way, they were mentioning certain ECW wrestlers appearing at this event, and it was a little awkward hearing the name Balls Mahoney mentioned considering the close proximity of, well...I'm sure you can understand why I pleaded, "Don't say balls!!!"

Jeffie was on hand, along with Foul Mouth Girl and Just Joe from The Last Exit For The Lost. I gotta say, they were certainly in the No Pants Day spirit. Jeffie in his boxers, Just Joe in his boxers, and FMG in layers of undergarments.
Okay, so I really can't complain about FMG in her undies, but she pulled a slightly mean little trick on us. At the top of each hour she removed one layer of undies, and said she'd remove the last layer at midnight.
But, when midnight arrived she announced that No Pants Day was over, and promptly put her pants back on...
We are ALL such suckers...

The night had more than it's fair share of carnage, with Just Joe becoming an early casualty as he fell victim to an attack from Joe. Jeffie certainly took his lumps as well, as he and Just Joe each took turns getting wrestling chops not only from Dewey and Super Bad, but from Karma and Mia as well.
Actually, I'd have to say that Mia's chop was probably the loudest and sounded the most painful. It also left the reddest handprint on Just Joe's chest...

Josh had actually decided to protest No Pants Day by wearing jeans, and claiming that he had grown denim skin didn't convince anybody. Before the night was over, he was separated from his jeans courtesy of Karma, Mia, and Camaraderie.
Of course, Josh somehow didn't seem to object too much, and was grinning blissfully as the girls got him down to his boxers...

I took my share of abuse as well. In addition to being sandwiched between Dewey and "Super Bad", I ended up with both Jeffie and Just Joe in my lap throughout the evening. And Jeffie seemed to feel a need to fondle my man-boobs (yes, I'm a big guy, I have them...), which I think I tolerated with at least some semblance of grace, if not a complete lack of panic...

Cthulhu also decided to drop in for a brief visit.
Funny thing, one moment I'm fine, next there's a clap of thunder from outside and I've got this green squid-like thing attached to my wrist...
You know things have gotta be bad when you've officially traumatized an Elder God. When you've made a Great Old One shudder in horror, I imagine you must have been involved in something pretty distasteful, and Cthulhu made it very clear to us that we were ALL out of our minds!
Seriously, here's a being that's been awoken from eons of slumber, thinking it's time to bring his own brand of madness into the world and to do his part to spread chaos, and when he thinks the time has finally come...
...he discovers that it's already too late and the world is officially a lost cause...
I'm sure our little green buddy will be fine, though. Of course, he didn't take too well to the impostor that Just Joe had in his possession. Kind of a "Will the real Cthulhu please stand up" moment. Should look fun on the video!

Outside of some confusion over whether or not I'm a real wolf (seriously, how could anyone possibly think otherwise...), that pretty much covers all the No Pants Day bases. Things should be back to a relatively normal scope next week!
Not that we ever really have a "normal" show, that is...







And the Time Lapse Version of the whole night...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf:  All in all, a relatively laid-back show. Originally we were supposed to feature UW's Kriptic Keegan, but hey, sometimes things don't quite pan out. No hard feelings!
We did, however, get another visit from James Allan from Children Of The New Sun who'd dropped in to promote their show last night in Rochester, not to mention Dave from Spater once again, who was on hand to further promote Finger Lakes Metal Fest this Memorial Day Weekend, May 29th and 30th.

We also had a visit from UW's Jay Flyier, who's been great about dropping in on the night before events, and we enjoy having him on. We're gonna miss him when he takes off for a few months. Seems he's got himself a chance to train for something bigger, and I can't say I can blame him. We definitely will be wishing him the best of luck!

Outside of that, the main theme of the evening seemed to be the cloud of dread that permeated the studio as we discussed next weeks' No Pants Day show.

Here's the deal with No Pants Day, an event I have yet to experience first hand, although I have seen and occasionally shared the video from last year's fiasco...
Not sure where the trend started, it may be a college thing, but somehow the first Friday of May has, somewhere along the line, been deemed No Pants Day. No pants means just that. Guys can wear shorts, girls can wear shorts or dresses or skirts and such.
Now for The Metallic Onslaught twist...
Some folks may start out in shorts, but will generally end up in their boxers, or briefs, or what have you.
Bear in mind this is a male-heavy show, although Foul Mouth Girl has taken part, and hey, that's not necessarily a bad thing!
But then you've also got Jeffie, and members of the Last Exit For The Lost Crew like Just Joe and Dave (and his alter ego Super Dave). In their boxers...
Trying to give folks lap dances...
You see where the comfort level can somewhat diminish, while raising the bar for the show's silliness.
Yep, one of the biggest shows of the year, and it's the one that everybody seems to dread!
And good ol' Wulfie's gonna be right in the thick of it...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: Our guests for this particular evening consisted of "Super Bad" Richard Venice and Dewey, the Man of 1,000 Gimmicks. (Seriously, this guy borrows from all kinds of wrestling gimmicks, and has wrestled as Dew-dust, Dew-berg, The Dew Meanie, and others.) They collectively call themselves the "Rude Boys Of Wrestling" and have made appearances at assorted Ultimate Wrestling events in recent months, and also perform for other promotions across the state. They were kind enough to share the stories of how they broke into the business, not to mention some things I probably shouldn't mention. Let's just say "Super Bad" had a very unfortunate incident when he attempted to pull Earthquake's old finisher on an opponent...

We also premiered a certain game I'd concocted for the show, which "Super Bad" and Dewey both seemed pretty keen to try out.
This all came about thanks to a conversation that occurred a few weeks ago when we received a surprise visit from Jim Schreck, somehow getting on the subject of song lyrics and how they'd sound being sung or recited by other artists. I believe it was Joe who'd originally mentioned that we should turn that whole thing into a game, and my brain just started running with it.
Seriously, the gears were grinding so heavily that I eventually invested in two sizes of note cards.
On one stack of 3" X 5" cards I wrote the names of assorted rock vocalists, public figures, celebrities, and cartoon characters. The other stack of note cards, 4" X 6" in this case, had snippets of song lyrics written on them. A verse here, a chorus there, an odd middle segment there, you get the idea.
Each player took one of each card from the top of their respective stacks, thereby drawing one card representing a character voice to impersonate and one card for lyrics to sing or recite in that voice.
For example, I started the initial round off by having to sing Deep Purple's "Perfect Strangers" in the voice of Simon Cowell. Now, I've got some voices I can do pretty well, and Simon ain't one of them, but it's all in good fun, and the overall result was worth a chuckle. I did a little better when my turn came again, this time impersonating W.C. Fields reciting "Toxic Waltz" by Exodus.
Poor Josh had a couple awkward moments, each time drawing a female voice to impersonate. His first attempt was Iron Maiden's "Killers" in the voice of Janis Joplin, followed up by having to impersonate Grace Slick singing Metallica's "The Four Horsemen".
It got really silly when Dewey impersonated Darth Vader reciting Motley Crue's "Ten Seconds To Love", as well as Danzig's "How The Gods Kill" in the voice of Batman as done by Christian Bale. (For those unfamiliar, Christian Bale tends to throw a little bit of the ol' death-metal growl into his Batman voice. It's a kind of a kick once ya get used to it!)
"Super Bad" had a couple of fun moments as well, with his first round attempt falling on William Shatner singing performing Sepultura's "Roots Bloody Roots", and following it up with Johnny Cash singing W.A.S.P.'s "Blind In Texas".
Overall, I think the games' maiden voyage went well. We'll have to periodically dabble with it some more as I add to the variety of voices and song lyrics. Lotta potential for growth here, and I have a feeling it's gonna be a load of fun once Jeffie returns to the show in a couple of weeks.
On No Pants Day...
Shudder...

Oh, also wanted to mention that it seems Josh won't be leaving the show after all, as he's decided to take online classes to get his Masters. To be honest, I think we're all just as glad that he's sticking around. Of course, this also means no spiked dunking booth to use in search of his replacement, and no Foul Mouth Girl in a bikini...

Awwwww, hell, like that was gonna happen anyway...

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Last night started out pretty strong, only to spiral to levels of silliness we haven't accomplished in awhile. I LOVED IT!
Surprisingly, we had an unexpected visitor early on. Imagine our shock when my old manager and nemesis, Steve Papagiorgio, dropped in! Early questioning into his current status as a cyborg seemed to be met with some confusion. After being asked how he got in, he claimed that he was pretty sure that the door had already been ripped off the hinges. Now, I'm pretty damned sure I'd remember if I'd done that, so I'd say that should stand as a testament as to how much more of a machine Steve's become in recent months. Some experimentation later in the evening seemed to provide further evidence, but more on that in a bit...

We had Dave from local band Spater on hand to promote the upcoming Fingerlakes Metalfest, an event that features a slew of bands over the course of Memorial Day weekend. It's held at Donselaar's in Clyde, NY, runs both Saturday and Sunday (May 29 and 30), and is free to the public, all ages. Can't go wrong with that! Oh, Rick Horton from the Metallic Onslaught will also be on hand to emcee the show, and who knows, work schedule permitting, ya might even see a Wulf wandering about!

James Allan, guitarist for Rochester NY's Children Of The New Sun, had dropped in to promote one of their upcoming shows at Water Street Music Hall. He was kind enough to plug in for a bit and jam for us. Gotta tell ya, the guy's pretty damned good, so if you're into power metal, by all means check out his band! Definitely worth the attention

We took the time to pay tribute to Type O Negative's Peter Steele, who we lost far too soon just a few days ago to heart failure. This has been a hard one for some of us. Type O Negative was one of those bands that helped me keep faith in hard rock and metal during the Nineties, when grunge and alternative were the preferred flavors. But, yeah, Joe devoted a segment to not only Type O Negative, but also to Peter's previous band, Carnivore.

In all honesty, I think the only reason that I wasn't tearing the face off of Steve in the early portions of the show was due to the fact that I was still pretty saddened over the loss of Pete...
Joe noticed this little lapse of character, and after explaining that my heart just didn't seem to be into the carnage he started reminding me of the tumultuous relationship that Steve and I have had in the past.
For those unfamiliar with the story, Steve "discovered" me working as a bouncer at a Donkey Show in Tijuana, Mexico. After promising to take me back to the States to make me a star, the only gig he could get me was on the Metallic Onslaught. Hey, not that I'm complaining, but dammit, he promised me a hosting job on Headbanger's Ball! At least I'm pretty sure he said something about that...
Anyhoo, the floodgates opened soon afterward, and all the broken promises and all the beatings with garden hose came back to me, (not to mention that offer to appear in "Twilight: New Moon", uggggh...) It didn't take long for the milder, content to laugh and sing, happier Wulfie reverted back to the vicious killing machine that first showed up in November of 2008.
And ya know what?
IT FELT GREAT!!!!
In all honesty, I think that letting the beast come out a little more helped shake off that infection that Jeffie had subjected me too earlier this year. At least he claims that's why I've been a happier, friendlier, singing Wulf as of late.
Of course, that also brought me to the conclusion that Jeffie had to be punished...
Funny thing. I discovered last week that Jeffie is a little uncomfortable hearing the Hamster Dance when he actually hasn't died on the show. So, to make him squirm a little, I just had to break out that little greeting card I found at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago.
It worked at first, but a little later in the evening he didn't seem to mind it any more. Seemed he'd taken a moment to coat the card with a powdered version of the infection, thinking he'd revert me back to my less-vicious self. I spent a good portion of the later segments resisting that urge to sing...
Of course, this is also where the silliness bar got raised. I ended up dosing Josh with a little bit of that powder, and within minutes he started sprouting fur!
Oh no, Jeffie's powder had turned Josh into a...

WERE-BEAGLE!!!

Yep, next thing ya know, Josh was baying away, sniffing around the studio, licking everybody's hands, tail wagging...

In the meantime, I'd tried disassembling Steve, with no results whatsoever. Seriously, beating on him with the spiked gauntlets didn't even leave a scratch.
I did discover a few interesting little buttons here and there, some of which popped out a bar, and others that popped out less pleasant things. Like, lasers and cannons...and something else that could only be described as a power tool...
Best not to think about that!
Then there was another particularly interesting button that Steve highly recommended I avoid, warning that was the Thermonuclear Core.
Now, with No Pants Day looming upon us (it's only three weeks away, Goddess help us!), touching the Core seemed like a good way to avoid the horrors approaching us on that night. But, in the end, something stayed my hand, so it looks like humanity is going to still be around long enough to be subjected to the inevitable.

And so it was that the show ended amidst more silliness than we've had for most of the year.

Another job well done, I'd say!

 Listen to the Show - Pics

Recap by The Metal Wulf: Well, this sure was a busy night!

Kim Draheim joined us for an hour or so to promote a couple of upcoming shows. For those unfamiliar with Kim, he's one hell of a guitar players who's been playing music throughout the area for many years and is probably best known for his previous band, Static Cling. He's now fronting Infra-Red Radiation Orchestra, a group that specializes in good old-school psychedelic garage rock. Worth checking out if it sounds like it may be up your alley!

Also on hand were UWF's Kriptic Keegan and Patrick O'Malley, and I must say this made for a somewhat tense evening. This show fell on the night before these two were to face each other in a No. 1 Contender's Match at UWF's Divine Intervention IV event at DeSales High School in Geneva.
Needless to say, these guys really don't seem to like each other much. There was a great deal of verbal sparring in the early going, but we were able to keep them calmed down enough to get them to share some of their early experiences in the wrestling business.
Things did end up getting physical between them, resulting in Josh and myself attempting to pull them apart. This segment was recorded for posterity, so be on the lookout!
In retrospect, I'm starting to think Josh and I should start receiving a bit of hazard pay!
Or not...



Kriptic ended up storming out of the building at just about the same time Jay Flyier showed up for a bit, and Jay was commenting on how irate Kriptic seemed. We got Jay to discuss his match from last months' Edge Of Darkness event in Phelps, where his tag team partner, David Evans, turned on him. Made for an awkward situation, as they'd retained the tag titles in that match, forcing each of them to choose a different partner for a match at Divine Intervention IV, where the tag belts would go to the winning team.

Jeffie was on hand, and I think it's safe to say that he successfully annoyed a number of people. But, let's face it, that's what Jeffie does best. Hell, he even got my goat toward the end of the show, when he decided to play a little game of "What's In Jeffie's Pants?"
The object in question turned out to be my poor digital camera. Jeffie tried to reassure me that it wouldn't be so bad as he'd recently shaved.
All I can say to that is EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
It's all good, though, as I'm pretty sure the camera has been sufficiently sterilized and disinfected.
Still, there's the principal of the whole matter...
I think we may have to issue a little payback in the future. Hmmmmm, what's a good way to get under Jeffie's skin? I mean, really, how do you best annoy a being who was created specifically for annoyance?
The gears are grinding folks, the gears are grinding...

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Recap by Fire Eater Wizard; Gotta say that last night was probably the most enjoyable I've had on the show since I returned back in January. Roc City Roller Derby announcer Gil Monster joined us, and while he proudly promoted the upcoming Roller Derby season, he was also on hand to promote something just as cool!
Now, I'd seen photos of some of Gil's handiwork. The guy makes some awesome little figures out of pipe cleaner, all kinds of fun creatures and creepy characters. What I didn't know was that these characters were part of something much larger in scope. Seems that Gil has patented a board game, and these little pipe cleaner critters are actually game pieces!
Awesomeness...
So, the game is called "Amputheatre", and the game board represents a futuristic battle arena where our fuzzy little pipe cleaner pals fight it out. Seems that each character (and there are literally dozens of them, all hand crafted by Gil) is a hardened convicted criminal, and what they're battling for is a full government pardon. Random dice rolls represent a number of things, including the initial placement of your character on the game board. Now, as each character has a detachable head and arms, some attacks allow for dismemberment or decapitation. Of course, severed body parts have to land somewhere, so another random roll of dice determines where these pieces end up on the game board.
Prime example: I'd chosen a character called Sunderella, a child-eating circus bear who, instead of rolling around on a giant ball, can roll around on severed heads for a movement bonus. Yeah, it's pretty gruesome...
Speaking of gruesome, there's also blood. Lots and lots of blood, represented by little tokens made of pieces of red felt. Blood spatter occurs after successful attacks, and once again, a random dice roll determines where the blood falls. This comes in handy if you're low on life, as you can absorb any blood that occupies a square that you land on.
Of course, there are also little surprises scattered about the board. Little cards that represent weapons to be picked up, or spells, and even a couple of traps that are truly best avoided. Loved the Yeti In A Box! (If you've ever seen "Creepshow", you know what I'm talking about.)
There's much more to it, really can't fully describe it here. I will say that Josh and I were in game geek heaven as we played in between talk breaks, with Gil and his wife, RCRD's Dee Fenestrate playing along and guiding us. Seriously, it's a blast!

Speaking of games, during a brief visit from Jim Schreck we somehow got on the subject of song lyrics being sung by assorted celebrities and/or public figures. Can't honestly remember how this came about, but it reminded me of a conversation I'd had with my brother and a mutual friend.
About three years ago, Bill had been lamenting about not being able to beat a song on Guitar Hero 2, and we'd told him "It's not the end of the world". Now, it's well established that it doesn't take much to plant a given song in my head, so this, combined with an earlier discussion about Cradle Of Filth, made me ponder how Skeeter Davis's country classic "The End Of The World" would sound as sung by Dani Filth...
Needless to say, I did my impersonation of just that on the show last night...
That sparked an idea for a game to be played on the show, combining well-known rock lyrics with impersonations of random celebrities or characters.
Guess who's seriously considering running with this idea? Given a few weeks, I'm betting I could concoct something fun, and I'm sure the other guys on the show would love to provide some input. We'll see how it goes!

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Pictures



Recap by Fire Eater Wizard; Wrestlers from Ultimate Wrestling were there, Mean Mike (who is Barry Hardy's Bodyguard), Pretty Boy Jay Flyer, and his security. Jeffie arrived. Jeffie insulted Mean Mike, saying what he's been saying for weeks, only now saying it to his face, that Mean Mike is afraid of him. Mean Mike gave Jeffie a severe beat down, throwing him into the CD rack a couple of times, lots of elbows and knees, and putting him to sleep in the sleeper hold, and choking him out. But Jeffie still kept insisting, even after all that was over, that Mean Mike was afraid of him, that that was why he finally left, and that those choke outs had been love hugs. Then Jeffie insisted that part of Jay Flyier's hair was detachable, even though Jay said it was not. Jeffie said he would prove it, and tried to pull it off. Jay brawled with Jeffie. Jeffie went "Husk! Husk!", and turned into a good wrestler for a moment and took on Jay, but that was short lived. Then Jay called on his security, and his security beat the crap out of Jeffie, again, throwing him into the CD rack, again... Jeffie also would try to hide behind Joe a lot. All and all, Jeffie got beaten down a lot on this night... www.myspace.com/jayflayier502 is the website where you can find Jay Flyier, who holds the Ultimate Wrestling tag team title with his partner, Dave Evans...

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Recap by Metal Wulf; Things felt just a little strange, especially in the early portion of the evening. Something was missing... Oh yeah, it was Josh! Yup, seems Josh is getting some things out of the way as he prepares for his departure to grad school this fall. He'll be absent on the next show as well, it seems.

Now, keeping this in mind, an early discussion centered on who was going to replace Josh and how we should go about finding this person. Joe had suggested a dunking booth with Josh as the dunkee, with the person sinking Josh being a probable replacement. Of course, being a metal show, we'd have to come up with something suitable. I suggested a SPIKED dunking booth, although I think Joe had a different kind of spiked in mind. He was thinking alcohol and I was thinking, literally, of spikes! They wouldn't have to be terribly long spikes, just enough to break a little bit of skin, and with alcohol in place of water, well, just imagine the fun sounds that Josh would make within seconds of plunging into the tank! Then, of course, the dunking tank would be filled with a combination of alcohol and Josh's blood!
Hmmmm, I could run even further with this! The person who succeeded in dunking Josh could then be thrown into the tank as his initiation into the Onslaught ranks, where he could be bathed in the unholy mixture of alcohol and Josh blood!
Any takers?
Oh, we'd also mentioned including Foul Mouth Girl in some capacity. I mean, it sounded like a good idea at first: A dunking tank, FMG in a bikini perhaps...
Then, of course, we realized that FMG would probably destroy us all for even thinking of it, so yeah, the idea kinda got scrapped...

Another topic of discussion centered on the lack of good major rock shows coming to the area as the season begins to shape up. Seriously, after that amazing show that Judas Priest and Whitesnake put on in Canandaigua last year, you'd think someone would be looking to book at least one hard rock/ heavy metal show! I think we all agreed that we'd love to see Scorpions come through, as their upcoming world tour is going to be their last before going into retirement.
C'mon promoters, Central New York needs their metal!

No sign of Jeffie on this particular night. Seems he was down with another dose of the plague...
So, no Jeffie, no Josh, and no guests scheduled to appear...Perfect chance to further focus on music, which we did! I'd have to say the most memorable tracks I heard from this show were from Triptykon's upcoming release, "Eparistera Daimones". Triptykon is the latest offering from Celtic Frost's Tom G. Warrior, and I've gotta say that this is some of the heaviest, doom-laden music I've heard in a long frickin' time. Sincerely, this stuff will rattle your bones, and I have a feeling it's going to find it's way among my personal top 10 for the year.

Surprisingly, we did have a guest drop in unexpectedly. Jay Flyer dropped by to talk about his success in gaining UWF Tag Team gold with his partner David Evans at the last event in Phelps. He also discussed the next event in Phelps, which is on March 27. He and Dave will be defending their new belts against previous champions I.B. Greene and Kage, collectively known as Degenerates Of Society, or DOS for short. Gonna be a good time!

Not much else to say about this particular night, outside of the fact that from time to time little snippets of the "Hamster Dance" would play at random moments, confusing the hell out of Joe and Rick. Wonder who was responsible for that? Heh, heh, heh...

Seriously, it's amazing what you can find just wandering around Wal-Mart...

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: Well, we weren't sure if we were ever going to pull it off, but we managed to get some of the Roc City Roller Derby girls to drop in for an off-season visit.
Wasn't that long ago that they held what they call Fresh Meat Clinics, basically a series of try-outs for new girls to join the team. So, in addition to the return of Karma-Lized and Cuss Muffin, we had two of the new girls on hand as well: Bionic Bombshell and Mystery Meat!
Seriously, ya gotta love those derby names!
Speaking of which, those of us who are on the show regularly recalled the derby names we chose during one of their previous visits back in August. I had chosen WarWulf at the time, and Rick had gone with Rick N' Roll. I honestly can't remember what Josh had picked, although the name had come up in the discussion...
Sigh...
Joe couldn't remember his at all, and neither could the rest of us. This led to a discussion of whether Joe should pick a new derby name, and somehow I don't think we determined one...
Hmmm...

Discussion came up concerning Joe wanting to take a turn tossing shirts to the crowd at one of the upcoming events once the new season gets under way, which actually sounds like a lot of fun.
From there, we discussed other options of things to throw to the crowd, taking into consideration some of the local sponsors. Cuss Muffin seemed to think that throwing Zweigles Hot Dogs to the crowd would be a pretty cool idea, which melded into a slightly different conversation altogether.
Let's just say the idea went from Weiner Tossing, to Salad Tossing, to Teabag Tossing...
It doesn't take that much of a sick mind to run with that, now does it?
Of course, my suggestion was Back Wax, something that may confuse those who aren't familiar with some of Anvil's more recent material. I'd prefer not to elaborate, really...

Eventually Karma and the new girls took their leave, but Cuss Muffin stuck with us almost to the end of the show. Cool by us, she's a fun lady to have on board!

Here's where things get hazy for me...
Jeffie arrived with FMG, and to be honest, the only thing I remember from the later segments of the show are further discussions of the "infection" that Jeffie passed onto me. Something about the symptoms making me a happier MetalWulf, explaining why I'm likely to break into song at the drop of a hat...
Hmmmm...
I'm starting to think there's more to it than that. Maybe another side-effect is the blocking of moments on the show that may be considered embarrasing for Jeffie, keeping me from sharing them in the recap each week!
Seriously, this is killin' me! I KNOW there was some pretty funny stuff discussed after his arrival, and I can't think of a thing!!!
Of course, it could be that in that last couple of hours that lead to 2 a.m. my brain just turns to jelly, affecting my memory retention...

Nah, this is all Jeffie's fault!!!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: Kicked off the early portion of the evening with a visit from Jason The Angry Amish, a previous guest who I'd had yet to meet. He didn't seem overly intimidated by having a werewolf in the room, so I'd say the night was off to a pretty damned good start! Oddly enough, he didn't seem overly angry, either. Must have caught him in a good mood!

As it turned out, Jason explained that he could no longer be considered Amish, as he'd apparently embraced technology by purchasing a Nintendo Wii. He regaled us with tales of some of his favorite Wii gaming experiences, like Wii House Building, Wii Cow Milking, etc. ...
Man, it seems like they'll put anything into video games these days!

Had to pat myself on the back a little bit in the early going. Seriously, I need to take major credit. Despite flying high on a HUGE caffeine and sugar rush, I was able to resist the urge to break into song for over TWO HOURS!!!
YAY!
Strangely enough, Jason seemed intrigued about the idea of me singing, which was a little awkward. I find it difficult to sing on demand for some reason, but if somebody blurts something out that happens to make a mental connection with a song, I'm right on top of it.
Funny how that works...
In the long run, though, I think Joe was relieved by the lack of Wulfie vocals.
Oh well, at least Jeffie still likes my singing!

Speaking of Jeffie, he was presented with his first official beat-down of 2010.
It was pretty much inevitable. I mean, within minutes of arriving, he wanted to play one of his favorite games with Jason. Now, usually this would be a round or two of "What's In Jeffie's Pants?", but on this night, Jason was subjected to a couple rounds of "Where Is Jeffie's Finger Going?"
Ewwww...
The beatdown commenced shortly thereafter....
As evidence of my successful recovery from foot surgery, I was able to get a couple of shots on him. Felt good to be actively taking part in some of the physical aspects of the show again! So, yeah, Jeffie found himself on the receiving end of a few pairs of feet, as well as a Camel Clutch, courtesy of Joe. Jason even showed a little MMA-style technique, getting Jeffie into a Rear Naked Choke Hold.
Hmmmm...never noticed before, but that sounds just a tad obscene...
You'll all be able to view this fun in the coming weeks, as this segment was recorded for posterity!

All in all, a good night, and next week should be one to look forward to as well. Roller Derby season is gradually approaching, and it looks like we might finally have some of Roc City Roller Derby's ladies dropping in for an off-season visit. Here's to hopin'!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: Topics of conversation drifted about, as they tend to do, but randomness is a big part of why I enjoy hanging on the show!

Let's see...the appearance of KISS on Extreme Makeover came up, as did a viewing of an old Nuclear Assault video on my part. At the time I couldn't remember the name of the vid, but I mentioned how I found it amusing that Jessica Hahn made an appearance. Further discussion arose of certain body alterations Hahn had gone through since her days of playin' footsie with Jim Bakker. Particularly of how she went from being simply "buoyant" to utterly (or should that be "udder"-ly "unsinkable". (Don't think about it too hard, not that difficult to piece together!)
Oh, and for the record, after taking a peek on good ol' YouTube, I was reminded that the above-mentioned video was for the song "Critical Mass", so if ya wanna take a peek and appreciate Jessica's...ummmmmmm...uns

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: No Jeffie tonight, so Joe was excited about being able to talk less and play more music once again!
And it's not like we had a shortage of things to play. Between the four of us, we probably could have done a couple of hours just based on recent acquisitions, and actually discussed some of these purchases for a moment.
Of course, Wulfie's brain gets a little fuzzy after the fact sometimes, so I can't really remember what the other guys had acquired. Sigh...
I'm pretty sure that Joe had picked up some Morbid Angel, and as for me I'd found myself copies of Metal Church's "Blessing In Disguise", Satyricon's "The Age Of Nero", and Overkill's "Ironbound". Also grabbed up a copy of Iron Maiden's "Raising Hell" DVD, as I continue to strive to replace things I previously had on VHS.
But yeah, we took a moment to feature some songs from our recent indulgences, in addition to some great new material from High On Fire. There was also an interesting little a capella rendition of "Master Of Puppets" that was played, from Van Canto. Kinda cool to be honest, just a little different!

In between talk breaks Josh and I somehow got on the subject of hip-hop and agreed that someone needed to raise Redd Foxx from the dead to record a rap album. Seriously, that guy could out-dirty anybody on the current (c)rap scene. We even mentioned this during the next talk break, as I mentioned setting up some black candles and drawing out a pentagram so we could speak with the departed spirit of Redd.
In retrospect, it seemed like we were aiming a little too low, though. I mean, why pursue that course of action when we could talk to the spirits of departed metal Gods, like Randy Rhoads or Dimebag Darryl?
Hmmmm...food for thought for a future show? Anybody got a Ouija board?
Juuuuuust kidding!

As the night wore on, we were starting to think that our potential guests for the evening weren't going to show, but shortly before 1 a.m. UWF's Giovanni and Jay Flyier showed up, so we got to spend a few talk breaks discussing last months Phelps show, not to mention next week's upcoming show. Cool to have them on hand, and we may just see them again on the next show. For the record, that next show is on February 27, and is once again at the Phelps Community Center. It's a great time, if you're of a mind to check it out!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Well, originally this week was to feature UWF's Giovanni and Jay Flyer, but things kinda fell through with that, so hopefully they'll be joining us on the next show. Hey, things happen, can't really hold it against 'em!

Anyhoo, still had a good time, as we kicked the show off with roughly 25 minutes of Helloween. In addition to the usual show opener, "Heavy Metal Is The Law", Joe played "The Keeper's Trilogy" from their new "Unarmed" disc, which is a 25th Anniversary Best Of collection, featuring re-recorded alternate versions of some of their classics. Not only does "The Keeper's Trilogy" feature a full orchestra, the disc also has an acoustic version of "Future World" as well as a somewhat puzzling jazz rendition of "Dr. Stein". Well, I guess they can't ALL be winners, but I'd say this is probably going to find it's way into my collection somewhere down the road.

I thought it was a pretty damned cool way to kick the show off, so what the hell!

We did get a visit from a special UWF fan, who has been known to us primarily as "Ryot's Mom". If you've been to the local shows, you know who I mean. Unless, of course, you're deaf and can't hear her bellowing "RYOOOOT!!!" above the rest of the crowd...

Seriously, though, she's a sweet enough lady whose real name is Liz. She seemed a little evasive and hesitant when questioned as to whether she really is Ryot's mom, although she did assure us that they do share the same blood.

Awww, hell, family is family, good enough for me! She's even going to look into the possibilities of having Ryot drop in on the show with her some night, which I can pretty much say we'd be all for!

One point of amusement came along during the concert listings segment. Liz had been laughing over the names of some of the bands, which, in some cases, I can fully understand. She claimed to be more of a "Partridge Family" girl, prompting yours truly to once again break out into song, probably sounding better than David Cassidy ever dreamed of...

...or not...

Looks like she'll be joining us again next week in hopes of busting on Giovanni. Seriously, if this happens, it's probably going to be gut-bustingly hilarious, if their interaction at the last UWF show was any indication!

Jeffie forgot to bring his musical instruments along, and I'd forgotten to message him a reminder, so our little jam session will have to wait. We DID, however, throw together a little prelude. We found an empty bottle from the water cooler that suited my drumming needs, so with me tapping out a somewhat tribal rhythm and Jeffie quoting from a random lyrics generator, we pulled something out of our figurative hats which received a suitable amount of groaning. I'd say it was worth a chuckle! Now we just have to remember to prepare for the real deal when Jeffie comes back in two weeks!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf; Focused on some new music last night, particularly the latest releases from Overkill and Fear Factory, both of which are flat-out amazing pieces of work. Absolutely KILLER!

Joe also played a fun cover of Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore" by a band called Angry Chiwawa. Funny how things sometimes get interpreted literally, as a little yapping ankle-biter somehow made its' way into the studio...

Really, I had nothin' to do with it...I swear!

Joe actually surprised the hell out of me. Seems he's adopted a sort of "If you can't beat them, join them" attitude regarding my random song outbursts. He actually went out of his way to encourage me to start singing things, which kinda put me on the spot. It just seems to go better when it's spontaneous. Still, I managed to spout out a couple of snippets here and there. Just can't seem to remember any of them at the moment...

Gettin' old, losin' the memory, not good...

Speaking of getting old, at one point I'd mentioned an old Seventies comedy track by the name of "Mr. Jaws". Nobody knew what the heck I was talking about, which was kinda surprising 'cuz Joe really isn't that much younger than me. I mean, Josh and Rick I can kinda understand, with them being younger, but I thought for sure Joe would remember it!
Damn...

Jeffie arrived, and he seemed pretty excited about my singing throughout the evening. Hey, at least someone appreciates it! We even sang parts of the concert listings during that portion of the show, bringing further groans from the rest of the crew.

Funny thing about the concert listings. Jeffie had mentioned a band called Polterchrist, and for some reason my brain processed it as Poultrychrist, giving me an image of Jesus as a chicken...

From there, Foul Mouth Girl, during a rare stint of actually talking on the air, sketched out a little crucified chicken, surrounded by barbecue flames. That just struck me as so amusing that I had to mention it as a possible tattoo idea. What's even funnier is that by the end of the night, I was seriously considering using that as a future tattoo idea. Nobody in the world outside of the radio show would understand it, but then I don't necessarily plan on getting it where everybody's going to see it!

Josh surprised the hell out of us last night with a very bold showing as he stood up to Jeffie. Since FMG was using Josh's mic and headphones, he was only getting half of the conversation. Jeffie had referred to Mean Mike, who should be joining us next week, as a coward, and Josh immediately jumped up and started laying on the Air Fu, thinking that he was the one being referred to. Literally, Josh's face was red as a beet, and he was fired up like I'd never seen before!

Hmmmm, maybe that Way of The Ultimate Jeffie training unlocked something in Josh's head. Could be seeing some interesting developments in coming weeks!

Speaking of interesting developments, Jeffie likes my singing so much that next week he's bringing up a small assortment of instruments, and we plan on having a little concert, with me on bongos!

THIS is going to be a meeting of the minds!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf: Well, due to illness and injury we were short on Jeffie and Mean Mike respectively. Hope Mike's feelin' okay and can perform at the Ultimate Wrestling show in Phelps tonight!

Jeffie? Awww, he'll be fine...

Froze our asses off last night, even sitting behind the mics inside the studio. I think it may have been all of 4 degrees outside, and the snow just kept fallin'. Comparisons to Norway were made, but I'm thinkin' it was more like Siberia! Brrrrrrr....

After behaving myself a little more last week, I had a couple of random "breaking into song" moments, even going so far as doing the theme to "The Love Boat". Oddly enough, I balked at the theme to "Cheers". What can I say, I was never that big a fan of Ted Danson. Of course, this all led to further threats to cut my mic.

On top of that, I think I'm starting to be a bad influence on Josh. Joe had played an awesome cover of Judas Priest's "Exciter" (the actual band's name escapes me at the moment, but it WAS a killer cover!), and Josh and I just couldn't stop singing "STAND UP FOR EXCITER!!!"

I'm a bad, bad Wulfie...

Not much else really stands out from last night, although we did spend a good portion of the evening lamenting the fact that Josh will be leaving us in August. He'll be heading off to get his Masters, so we tossed around some ideas for possible replacements. Ultimately, we narrowed it down to Tony Iommi, Richie Blackmore, or that cute red-head who played keyboards for Abigail Williams before hooking up with Cradle Of Filth (I can't remember her name, dammit!!!). There were some others mentioned as well, but I think we'll have our hands full as it is. Something tells me we'll be finding someone a little more local. Ahhh, so much for pipe dreams...

Hell, we've still got about seven months. In the meantime, we'll just enjoy Josh's company while it lasts. I think everybody on the show brings a little something special to the table, and Josh is no exception in his own slightly dorky way. We're gonna miss him when the time comes!

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Recap by The Metal Wulf - Business as usual last night, meaning of course a lot of random craziness.
Actually ended the evening with a couple of surprise visitors. They'd called from Elmira at roughly 11:15 and said they'd be there in about an hour.
More on them later!

Pretty laid back in the early going, Joe had actually confessed that he didn't really feel like talking, which has its benefits, to be honest. Just that much more time to play some good music!

Things did pick up, though, once Jeffie arrived with Psyche Corporation's Genevieve. It was an utter pleasure to have her join us again, and we played some of her new material throughout the night. Still can't say enough good things about this lady's voice!

Topics of discussion, hmmmm...
Somewhere along the line, I believe it was Josh who mentioned something about steroid burgers. Can't remember exactly how this subject came up, but the idea of an Anabolic Take-Out Menu made me chuckle a bit. As I said at the time, it would give new meaning to "Super Size Me"...
I ended up revealing a little something I got for Christmas from a friend, a leather collar complete with rhinestones and a big silver bell. It was actually kind of amusing watching Jeffie become entranced by the jingling bell, almost lulling him into a state of quiet bliss where I'd be allowed to attack him at will. It ALMOST worked...
Unfortunately, Jeffie regained his composure and was able to defend himself. In the process, he somehow ended up swallowing the bell, coating it in his saliva...
EWWWW!!!
Somehow this led to Genevieve explaining the merits of zombie saliva in battling Neptunians. Good to know this in the event of any upcoming Zombpocalypse. We'll need to save as much saliva as we can if those Neptunians invade!
Then there was the matter of that little parasitic thing that Jeffie infected me with last week. He assured me that I was perfectly save and that the only thing it was going to do was make my fur sparkly.
As in Twilight sparkly...
Do I need to explain how badly this sat with me?
So yeah, by the end of the night I was getting glittery spots in my fur and at one point even started breathing out glitter...
I think Jeffie's in for a little payback once this paw heals completely, wouldn't you agree?

The capper to the evening came a little over two hours after that afore-mentioned phone call from Elmira. Our guests, who arrived at approximately 1:30 and had driven by the radio station roughly seven times looking for us, were two UWF wrestlers, Jay Flier and Giovanni. They'd dropped by to promote their upcoming show in Phelps next week, and I don't think Giovanni quite knew what he was walking into...
Those who are familiar with me and the local UWF shows know that I LOVE to bust on Giovanni's balls when I go to an event. There's just something about the little guy that screams "Heckle Me!" In reality, despite his being a heel, Giovanni's actually a pretty cool guy and we enjoyed the short amount of time we had with him on the show. Gotta get him and Jay back again when they can hang with us longer. At least then they'll have a better idea of what to expect!

Recap by The Metal Wulf: All in all, kind of a laid-back evening. Not that it wasn't without it's moments of craziness.

There's been a bit of a strange trend that actually got started well before I had my surgery in October. People can say certain things, and this will trigger something in my mind that connects with a song. When this happens, I have a habit of singing a bar or two of said song, no matter how lame it may be. Case in point, Joe saying something to Josh about "blaming it on the rain". Seconds later, I was singing Milli Vanilli, much to everyone's dismay. I actually had to confess to being ashamed of myself. Hey, when I goof, I admit it! Starting to think this whole thing is getting under Joe's skin a little bit, as he was trying to convince Josh to sabotage my mic before too long...
Hmmmm, guess I better start being careful about that singing!

We were all starting to worry about our continued good health throughout the evening. Seems Rick has had a dose of The Plague recently, and a lot of us have already had our own bouts with sickness, so we were lamenting the possibilities of getting sick again. Seriously, there were a couple of moments where I could have sworn I heard the splat of one of Rick's lungs as it hit the wall...

Jeffie was on hand once again. Seems strange that some of us were actually missing him last week. What the hell were we thinking!
Y'know, I'll give the guy credit, though. He was kind enough to sing me a birthday song in his own offbeat style. It was oddly touching, really.
Then, of course, he started coughing, propelling some sort of...thing...from his chest. And in the closing moments of the show, this...thing...crawled onto my face...and started eating it...before it decided to climb into my mouth and down my throat...settling someplace in my abdomen...

Oh, Jeffie, Jeffie, what have you done to me this time...

OWWWW!!! IT HUURRRRTSSSS!!!! IT HUUUUURRRRRTSSSSS!!!

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Recap by The Metal Wolf; I can't even begin to describe how good it felt to finally return to the show last night. More than anything, I think this was probably the biggest sign yet that my recovery is nearing its' end, and joining everybody once again just felt like the most natural thing in the world!

We were a little concerned early in the night due to the lack of Josh in the studio. We were discussing the possibility of sending out a St. Bernard or two to track him down in the crappy weather, but he finally made it! It was kinda nice to know he hadn't been buried under all the snow that was falling, or turned into a Josh-sicle thanks to the freezing temperatures.

A little strange last night, I must say. We had a few things pop up that I'm pretty sure could be taken as signs of the Apocalypse, and I'm going to summarize them here:

First off, there seemed to be an infestation of barking spiders and mice on motorcycles. Not only do these things make a highly distinctive sound, but they also leave behind a highly offensive odor. I suppose it could be chalked up to Rick's love of Taco Bell, though, so I consider these to be relatively minor Apocalyptic signs.

Then there was the Winger song, "Stone Cold Killer". I swear, if I hadn't heard it from Joe himself and personally seen the CD, I never would have believed this was an actual Winger song, not in a million years. Who would've thought that Kip Winger could actually make somewhat good music? Surely, it's a sign of the Apocalypse!

Then, amazingly, Joe joined Josh and I in the other room for a talk break. Seemed a little strange to have him slumming it, but still, pretty cool nonetheless. Another sign that I would consider relatively minor.

On top of that, Josh, Rick and I all agreed that we kind of missed Jeffie last night. Didn't seem quite right to not have him there. Joe seemed mortified that we were lamenting Jeffie's absence. Okay, I can see where that could be considered unnatural, so it must be a further sign that the End is near!

Another minor sign could be my slip of the tongue last night, as I dropped an S-bomb later in the evening. I'm usually very careful not to curse on the show, but last night I said "shit"... Aw, hell, let's just chalk that one up to carelessness on my part, and I just need to buckle down a little more. It's pretty easy to get in a comfortable mind-frame and forget yourself sometimes...

Probably the biggest shocker of the evening came during a discussion of of Keel. Seems they're collaborating on some music with the vocalist from Air Supply...
Now, bear something in mind here. Ron Keel went to playing country-western music in the Nineties under the name Ronnie Lee Keel, and eventually returned to his hard-rocking ways. But the vocalist from Air Supply? Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, good can possibly come as a result of this unholy union. This, more than anything else last night, is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.

On that note, let me just say that it may be time to duck and cover, my friends. Bend over and kiss your asses goodbye, because I strongly fear that the End Is Nigh!!!

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