Seriah Azkath

June 22, 2013 - Joe's Birthday

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Playlist
Dio - Fever Dreams
Queens of The Stone Age - I Sat By The Ocean
Jorn - I Came To Rock
Moon Curse - Black Elk

Metallica - Trapped Under Ice
Havok - Worse Than War
Darkane - Collapse Of Illusions
Brutus - Square Headed Dog
Amon Amarth - We Shall Destroy
Kalmah - Pikemaster

Extol - Behold The Sun
The Black Dahlia Murder - Phantom Limb Masterbation
Alice In Chains - Lab Monkey
Huntress - Destroy Your Life
Dream Death - Bludgeon

Wolf - A Dangerous Meeting
Scorpion Child - Salvation Slave
August Burns Red - Count It All As Lost
Anger As Art - Speed Kills

Satan - Time To Die
Into The Flood - Sufferer
Children of Bodom - Damaged Beyond Repair
A Pale Horse Named Death - The Needle In You
Evile - Skull
Anvil - Call Of Duty
The Quill - Freak Parade

Spirits Of The Dead - Song Of Many Reefs
Mumakil - Fresh Meat For The Grinder
King Kobra - The Crunch
Battlecross - Wage A War
Gutted - Collector Of Souls
Beyond Creation - Omnipresent Perception

White Wizzard - Kings Of The Highway
Queensryche - X2
Queensryche - Where Dreams Go To Die
Zed - Settle The Score
Megadeth - Kingmaker
Demon Lung - Eyes Of Zamiel

Pasadena Napalm Division - 100 Beers With A Zombie
Svartcrown - Genesis Architect
Colossus - Beacons
Disfigured Dead - Deranged Concecration
Yellowtooth - '75 Black Pontiac
Venomous Maximus - Father Time
Venomous Maximus - Dream Again

Revelation's Hammer - Buried As Filth
Kalmah - Windlake Tale
The Black Dahlia Murder - Control

Havok - Living Nightmare
   


Recap by The Metal Wulf


Birthdays are a sure guarantee of carnage and chaos on the Onslaught, with our long-suffering host Joe Wyatt being the most recent celebrant.
Joe had mentioned the previous week that he'd like a visit from Sloth for his birthday, and Sloth didn't disappoint. Of course, in addition to Sloth, Seriah Azkath, Arydaea Insanity, and JustJoe (from The Last Exit For The Lost) had also joined us for the evening. 
As a matter of fact, according to Azkath, Arydaea was supposed to emerge from a cake. Joe was unconvinced, however, insisting that the cake probably had Jeffie in it. Azkath countered with assurances that the cake was too small to have Jeffie in it...but in the end, that's exactly who was in it...
Odd, I would have sworn Jeffie NEVER would have fit inside that thing...yet, he did...sort of...
Truth is, he almost made it out of the cake before he got stuck...and I mean FIRMLY stuck. There was absolutely NO getting him out without a lot of effort on our part.
Which, in the long run, really felt like way too much trouble and energy to expend on his stupid ass, so we just relocated him to another room and let him fend for himself. Truth is, last time I saw him, he'd somehow repositioned himself in the cake so that only his feet were sticking out. I think he may have been trying to eat his way free.
He's fine, though, no worries! I'm almost positive he'll be back without needing to clone him again...

Thanks to Bill throwing me under the bus, word got back to Azkath that I had once again snuck in a cigarette. This led to an attack with the Pooh stick. That didn't sit well with me, because anybody who saw the last video segment to feature the Pooh stick knows where the thing had ended up. Yep, that same Pooh stick that Sloth violated himself with months ago on The Last Exit ended up getting shoved in my face, in and around my nose and mouth area, among other places that I'd rather not discuss.
Yeah, it was pretty bad... 
 
Further birthday shenanigans included a mouse trap toss. Literally, taking loaded mouse traps and tossing them at Sloth's tush. This eventually led to covering a portion of the floor in loaded mouse traps and tossing Sloth into them. 




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June 15, 2013 - Don Weeks Returns...

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Playlist
Kiss - Hell Or Hallelujah
Metal Church - Battlions
Evile - Outsider
Children Of Bodom - Damaged Beyond Repair
Burning Rain - Out In The Cold Again

Sanctuary - Taste Revenge
Into The Flood - Faitheater
Spirits Of The Dead - Seaweed
Amon Amarth - Blood Eagle
Jorn - Carry The Black
Tony Martin - Raising Hell

Black Sabbath - Damaged Soul
Tank - Crawl Back Into Your Hole
Queens Of The Stone Age - Smooth Sailing
Ire Clad - God Of War

Duskmachine - Endless/Feel No Pain
Kalmah - Wolves On The Throne
Eklipse - Mumbai-Theme (Theme From "Bombay")
We Came As Romans - Tracing Back Roots
August Burns Red - Spirit Breaker

Satan - Cenotaph
Dio - Electra
A Pale Horse Named Death - Killer By Night
Megadeth - Kingmaker
The Quill - Death Valley
Anvil - The Fight Is Never Won

Zed - Skin And Bones
Liege Lord - Broken Wasteland
U.D.O. - Steelhhammer
Disfigured Dead - Cauterized
Deathpoint - Sinister
Better Left Unsaid - Exile The Rightous
Alice In Chains - Pretty Done

Demon Lung - A Decade Twice Over A Day
Pasadena Napalm Division - Spell It Out
Gama Bomb - Backwards Bible
Saxon - Crusader
Overkill - Long Time Dyin'
Monolith Deathcult - S.A.D.M.
Thinning The Herd - Sludge

Beyond - Fatal Power Of Death
Philip H. Anselmo And The Illegals - Usurper's Bastard Rant
A Sound Of Thunder - My Disease
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Recap by The Metal Wulf


So, Don Weeks had returned from South America, where he'd been touring with Yes. I may have mentioned that he does lighting for numerous bands and/or projects around the state/country/world. Oh, he was also the original host of what was to become the Metallic Onslaught, in case folks had forgotten that, as well!

In the early going of the show it was actually just Joe and I with Don, as Rick and Josh had taken in some local music in Rochester before heading out for our show.
 
Had a cool discussion regarding the new release from Black Sabbath. Lotta buzz about this disc, and not all of it is very good. Folks have highly mixed feelings, as some seem to love it, and others seem very disappointed.
Personally, I don't hate the disc. I certainly think there are some flaws, not the least of which is Tony Iommi's guitar just not sounding like what we've come to expect. And it's not just me who's noticed it, others have mentioned it as well. And Ozzy's vocals aren't his best work, either. Kinda lackluster, with a few moments here and there where it almost sounds like he's about to get a fire lit under his ass...and then the moment's gone...
I don't know, maybe it'll grow on me, but after two initial listenings, I highly doubt it's going to be in my Top 10 for this year.
I will say this, however. Just having a NEW Black Sabbath record in 2013...is pretty damned cool from that perspective...probably shouldn't bitch too much...
 
So, a couple of weeks following our most recent visit from Steve Papagiorgio, I found those copies of Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark, and even recited/sang (sort of...) "The Hearse Song", which is what Steve and I had been singing when that whole topic came up. May have to bring them along when Halloween rolls along...
 
In the interest of tracking my weight loss progress, Azkath asked how much I was down. Of course, I really wasn't sure of what my weight was when we first mentioned the challenge. If anything, we did establish my initial weight to kick this off as being 356 pounds. Hopefully we're gonna see that number go down a LOT in the coming weeks! Because, let's face it, that cake battle will be far more entertaining between Dave and Jeffie...
 
And that pretty much wraps it up for this week. We'll be celebrating Joe's birthday on the next show, which is always a fun-filled evening. Don't be surprised if we get a JustJoe visitation, and of course Jeffie won't be able to stay away. 
And to think...I've got some unfinished business...with BOTH of them...
 

 
 
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June 8, 2013 - Just another night...

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Playlist
Tank - Healing The Wounds Of War 
Children Of Bodom - Crazy Nights
Newsted - Heroic Dose
Jorn - Cancer Demon

Dio - Lord Of The Last Day
Burning Rain - Our Time Is Gonna Come
Megadeth - The Blackest Crow
Scorpion Child - Polygon Of Eyes
Deathpoint - Condemned To Suffer

Pasadena Napalm Division - All Of A Sudden Dead
Nine Inch Nails - Came Back Haunted
Voodoo Highway - Wastin' Miles
Amon Amarth - Warriors Of The North
Demon Lung - Hallowed Ground

Beyond Creation - Injustice Revealed
We Butter The Bread With Butter - Western Beta
Suidakra - Dragon's Head
The Black Dahlia Murder - Every Rope A Noose
Tesseract - Resist

Alice In Chains - The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here
Gama Bomb - Legend Of Speed
Thinning The Herd - Bloodfire
Disfigured Dead - Punishing Atonement
U.D.O. - Metal Machine
Orchid - Nomad

Black Sabbath - Damaged Soul
Colossus - Bereavement
Immolation - Keep The Silence
Anvil - Time Shows No Mercy

Svartcrown - Intern.Virus.Human
Satan - Life Sentence
Better Left Unsaid - The Butcher
The Quill - Darkest Moon
A Pale Horse Named Death - In The Sleeping Death
Evile - Words Of The Dead

Kadaver - The Man I Shot
Amon Amarth - Hel
A Sound Of Thunder - Reign Of The Hawklords
Brutus - Square Headed Dog
High On Fire - Frost Hammer

Magnus Karlsson's Free Fall - Not My Saviour
letlive. - Banshee (Ghost Fame)
Oliva - Soul chaser
Orphaned Land - Through Fire And Water

Zed - Settle The Score   
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Recap by The Metal Wulf
 

All in all a quiet evening. Well, maybe uneventful is a better word for it, 'cuz things are rarely QUIET, being a metal show and all...

One item of note would be an announcement from Azkath, once again claiming that I wrote it.

Hell, this time I'll take credit for it, why not...
So, here's the deal. I've vowed to lose 50 pounds by the end of the summer. In fact, more specifically, I have to lose more weight than Azkath by the end of summer...
If I don't, I have to go one on one in the cake battle with Dave that we've mentioned jokingly in the past. Which is okay, I suppose, 'cuz if I win, Azkath has to challenge Dave to the cake battle. 
Okay, that's not entirely accurate. Azkath is going to have a stand-in, should that come to pass. So, if he loses the challenge, it will be JEFFIE who gets to take on Dave.
And quite frankly, I'm gonna laugh my ass off while watching it!
 
 
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June 1, 2013 - Phone and Powder for Randy

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Playlist


Cathedral - Tombs Of The Blind Dead
We Butter The Bread with Butter - 1000 Volt
Megadeth - Cold Sweat
Dagoba - Kiss Me, Kraken
Evile - A Sinister Call

Kadavar - Black Snake
Kylesa - Low Tide
Tony Martin - Bitter Sweet
Satan - Personal Demons
Burning Rain - My Lust Your Fate

Timo Tolkki's Avalon - Avalanche Anthem
Demom Lung - Binding Of The Witch
Immolation - Echoes Of Despair
Doctor Butcher - The Chair
Deathening - The Living Burn

The Black Dahlia Murder - Goat Of Departure
Autopsy - Arch Cadaver
Draugul - One Rode To Asa Bay
Trials - With Only Sorrow Now

Dio - Rainbow In The Dark
Clock Strikes XII - Enter In
Philip H Anselmo And The Illegals - Walk Through Exits Only
New Keepers Of The Water Towers - Visions of Death

Svartcrown - The Therapy Of Flesh
Faith No More - Woodpecker From Mars
Colossus - Transgressor
Orchid - Wizard Of War
F.K.U. - They Feed In The Dark
Sodom - My Final Bullet

ASG - Castlestorm
Attacker - The Hammer
Church Of Misery - All Hallow's Eve
Feed Her To The Sharks - Death's Design
Anvil - Call Of Duty

Spirits Of The Dead - Red Death
A Pale Horse Named Death - Shallow Grave
Queens Of The Stone Age - I Appear Missing
white Wizzard - Strike The Iron

Alice In Chains - Phantom Limb
J.A.C.K. - Atomic Puppets
Diamond Tyr - Restless One
Liquid Me - Wrong

Satan - Incantations
Retox - Soviet Reunion
C.O.C. - Rabid Dogs
C.O.C. - LS 


Recap by The Metal Wulf
 
This week, we saw the return of Steve Papagiorgio, which was cool, since we hardly ever see him anymore. Always good for a few laughs!
Joe actually seemed a little surprised that Steve and I were getting along as well as we were. Probably because of that whole lawsuit thing a couple year's back. All water under the bridge, though, it's all good! No hard feelings at all!
(Your check's in the mail, you damnable, infernal, blood-sucking leech...hope you blow it all on hookers and get herpes...)
A request for Celine Dion prompted a short musical interlude on my behalf. The beatdowns ensued almost immediately...no big surprise, there...
Azkath had returned to visit us, seemingly a little miffed over the whole Brony thing. In fact, he'd told me that I had a call from that guy again, regarding that stupid My Little Pony convention. I don't remember much about that call, except that my head hurt afterward...a lot...not to mention the bruising...
And to make the evening even worse, Azkath had gotten wind that I'd snuck in a rare cigarette (it really is unusual for me to light up these days, just every so often if the mood strikes me...), and he decided to freshen me up by dumping athlete's foot powder all over me...
And that was where we left things off...


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