June 22, 2013 - Joe's Birthday

  • Published in 2013
Listen to the Show


Dio - Fever Dreams
Queens of The Stone Age - I Sat By The Ocean
Jorn - I Came To Rock
Moon Curse - Black Elk

Metallica - Trapped Under Ice
Havok - Worse Than War
Darkane - Collapse Of Illusions
Brutus - Square Headed Dog
Amon Amarth - We Shall Destroy
Kalmah - Pikemaster

Extol - Behold The Sun
The Black Dahlia Murder - Phantom Limb Masterbation
Alice In Chains - Lab Monkey
Huntress - Destroy Your Life
Dream Death - Bludgeon

Wolf - A Dangerous Meeting
Scorpion Child - Salvation Slave
August Burns Red - Count It All As Lost
Anger As Art - Speed Kills

Satan - Time To Die
Into The Flood - Sufferer
Children of Bodom - Damaged Beyond Repair
A Pale Horse Named Death - The Needle In You
Evile - Skull
Anvil - Call Of Duty
The Quill - Freak Parade

Spirits Of The Dead - Song Of Many Reefs
Mumakil - Fresh Meat For The Grinder
King Kobra - The Crunch
Battlecross - Wage A War
Gutted - Collector Of Souls
Beyond Creation - Omnipresent Perception

White Wizzard - Kings Of The Highway
Queensryche - X2
Queensryche - Where Dreams Go To Die
Zed - Settle The Score
Megadeth - Kingmaker
Demon Lung - Eyes Of Zamiel

Pasadena Napalm Division - 100 Beers With A Zombie
Svartcrown - Genesis Architect
Colossus - Beacons
Disfigured Dead - Deranged Concecration
Yellowtooth - '75 Black Pontiac
Venomous Maximus - Father Time
Venomous Maximus - Dream Again

Revelation's Hammer - Buried As Filth
Kalmah - Windlake Tale
The Black Dahlia Murder - Control

Havok - Living Nightmare

Recap by The Metal Wulf

Birthdays are a sure guarantee of carnage and chaos on the Onslaught, with our long-suffering host Joe Wyatt being the most recent celebrant.
Joe had mentioned the previous week that he'd like a visit from Sloth for his birthday, and Sloth didn't disappoint. Of course, in addition to Sloth, Seriah Azkath, Arydaea Insanity, and JustJoe (from The Last Exit For The Lost) had also joined us for the evening. 
As a matter of fact, according to Azkath, Arydaea was supposed to emerge from a cake. Joe was unconvinced, however, insisting that the cake probably had Jeffie in it. Azkath countered with assurances that the cake was too small to have Jeffie in it...but in the end, that's exactly who was in it...
Odd, I would have sworn Jeffie NEVER would have fit inside that thing...yet, he did...sort of...
Truth is, he almost made it out of the cake before he got stuck...and I mean FIRMLY stuck. There was absolutely NO getting him out without a lot of effort on our part.
Which, in the long run, really felt like way too much trouble and energy to expend on his stupid ass, so we just relocated him to another room and let him fend for himself. Truth is, last time I saw him, he'd somehow repositioned himself in the cake so that only his feet were sticking out. I think he may have been trying to eat his way free.
He's fine, though, no worries! I'm almost positive he'll be back without needing to clone him again...

Thanks to Bill throwing me under the bus, word got back to Azkath that I had once again snuck in a cigarette. This led to an attack with the Pooh stick. That didn't sit well with me, because anybody who saw the last video segment to feature the Pooh stick knows where the thing had ended up. Yep, that same Pooh stick that Sloth violated himself with months ago on The Last Exit ended up getting shoved in my face, in and around my nose and mouth area, among other places that I'd rather not discuss.
Yeah, it was pretty bad... 
Further birthday shenanigans included a mouse trap toss. Literally, taking loaded mouse traps and tossing them at Sloth's tush. This eventually led to covering a portion of the floor in loaded mouse traps and tossing Sloth into them. 


March 16, 2013 - Arydaea's Surprise Party

  • Published in 2013
Iron Maiden - Killers 
Iron Maiden - Hallowed Be Thy Name 
Gloryhammer - Angus McFife 
Saxon - Walking The Steel 
Anthrax - Big Eyes 
Clutch - The Wolf Man Kindly Requests... 
Cathedral - Tower Of Silence 
Gamma Ray - Empire Of The Undead 
Kvelertak - Trepan 
Witchburner - Possession 
Volbeat - Cape Of Our Hero 
Ken Mode - The Terror Pulse 
Adrenaline Mob - High Wire 
Ghost B.C. - Year Zero 
Intronaut - Milk Leg 
Rotting Christ - In Yumen-Xibalba 
Sanjuro Fields - Death's Umbrella 
Moss - The Bleeding Years 
Finntroll - Skogsdotter 
In Vain - To The Core 
Hope For The Dying - Reformation 
Hope For The Dying - Iniquitous 
Lordi - The Riff 
Sanjuro Fields - Smoking Cold Cigarettes 
Anthrax - Smokin' 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Keepers Of The Night 
Mama's Boys - Needle In The Groove 
Sanjuro Fields - Driver Included 
Mortillery - Evil Invaders 
Serenity - The Art Of War 
Legacy - Armored Forces 
This Is Hell - The Enforcer 
Head Of The Demon - Phantasmagoria 
Cathedral - Vengeance Of The Blind Dead 
Gamma Ray - Death Or Glory 
Clutch - Cyborg Bette 
Howl - Attrition 
Carnivore Diprosopus - Colossal Destruction 
Suffocation - Eminent Wrath 
Hatriot - Globicidal 
Tennessee Murder Club - Cyborg Deathbed 
Thin Lizzy - Emerald 
The Modern Age Slavery - Arise 
Mothership - Win Or Lose 
Soilwork - Leech 
Krokus - Hallelujah Rock N' Roll 
Toranaga - Sword Of Damocles 
Avenger Of Blood - Aggressive Psychotic Behavior 
Nick Hellfort - Fame Is Just A Whore 
Robot Lords Of Tokyo - Chicken Little
Recap by The Metal Wulf
Very likely the craziest night we'll have on the show all year. Of course, I'm not going to swear to that, because we've still got nine and a half months of craziness to get through.
Anyhoo, we'd been preparing for this particular evening for a number of weeks, as we wanted to do something special for Arydaea Insanity (the little lady who does most of the video recording for both the Metallic Onslaught as well as The Last Exit For The Lost), in honor of her birthday. This is actually the second time we've gotten a large number of her friends to converge on the same night. Two years ago we had met in Ithaca for an edition of The Last Exit, with all of us from the Onslaught showing up, as well as members of Zadoc...And The Nightmare!, and many others as well. It went over pretty well, so Azkath arranged another one for this year, this time at the Onslaught.
So, if you tuned in, you know things were pretty much out of control right from the starting gate. My vote for surreal moment of the evening was when Shoebox (of Worm Quartet fame) suggested we all randomly read the closest thing within reach, simultaneously.
There is video of this occurring, and it's pretty damned funny. Stay tuned!
In addition to Shoebox, we also saw the return of JustJoe, who's always good for his own brand of insanity, and there was also an appearance put in by Sloth, who we'd last seen on The Last Exit on their End Of The World show.
We'd also seen Sloth back in June when we celebrated Joe's birthday, the high point of that evening being a round of soccer with a ball constructed of barbed wire...
Cortland's Sanjuro Fields had also dropped in for Arydaea's birthday. Truth is, we'd tried to get them in the studio about a month earlier, on the same night that some of us were to go see Doro Pesch.
You'll recall that the weather that night put a damper on a LOT of people's plans...
(Fucking weather...*grumble grumble*...Doro...*grumble*... )
Anyway, Sanjuro Fields are pretty killer if you've never heard them or seen them live. Good high energy band with some catchy tunes, leaning a bit toward the punk end of the spectrum. Worth a listen, without a doubt, and you can find them right here on good ol' Facebook!
So, I'm not even going to attempt to recount everything that happened Friday night, it would be pointless. A lot of stuff got lost in the madness, and everything is pretty much a blur. All I can say is between photos and video, you can expect to see loads of madness and things done with balloons that...well, I'm pretty sure balloons weren't meant to be used in such a way...
So, things should return to some semblance of "normalcy" on the next edition of the show, when we'll be getting a visit from some of our Roc City Roller Derby friends. Most of the ladies haven't been out to see us in quite some time, so this should be pretty entertaining!
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