March 24, 2012 - Jeffie... Fixed?

Listen to the Show;

Iron Mask - Blizzard Of Doom
Blue Snaggletooth - Death Of The Time Lords
Powergod - Steel The Light
Diabulus In Musica - Sceneries Of Hope
Break Of Reality - The Medicine Wears Off

Eluveitie - The Siege
Meshuggah - I Am Colossus
Angel Witch - Guillotine
Dio - One Night In The City
Dio - Hide In The Rainbow
3 Inches Of Blood - Look Out

Burn Everything - Vengeance And The Night Sky
Hour Of Penance - Fall Of The Servants
Job For A Cowboy - Black Discharge
Exumer - Fallen Saint
Ministry - Kleptocracy

Abdicate - Beyond Your Grasp
The Black Dahlia Murder - Carbonized In Cruciform
Hammer Horde - Vinlander
Wretched - Dreams Of Chaos
God Forbid - A Few Good Men

Behold! The Monolith - Halv King
The Burial - Salt And Wrath
Leaders - Conviction
Jeff Loomis - Surrender
Shok Paris - Those Eyes

Soulfly - World Scum
Overkill - Electric Rattlesnake
A Sound Of Thunder - This Too Shall Pass
Hemina - Conduit To The Sky
Dark Empire - Black Hearts Demise
Furyon - Stand Like Stone

Lamb Of God - Ghost Walking
Pinwheel - Dissemble
Modern Day Escape - Tiger's Blood
Blue Snaggletooth - Sector 7
Burn Everything - Maintain Radio Silence

From Astral Planes - Chew The Ropes
3 Inches Of Blood - 4000 Torches
Hour Of Penance - The Cannibal Gods
Autopsy - Mauled To Death
Fisthammer - Doom Of The Gods

Cannibal Corpse - Scourge Of Iron
Asphyx - Of Days When Blades Turned Blunt
Faith Or Fear - System Is Armed
Impending Doom - Deceiver
Everytime I Die - The Low Road Has No Exits
Wykked Wytch - The Ultimate Deception

Fozzy - Freewheel Burning
Blessed By A Broken Heart - Skate Or Die
Panychida - Three Pillars

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
So, before I get into the details of this week's shenanigans, I want to take a few moments to mention some truly outstanding music that we've been featuring lately.

I'm loving what I've heard from the new 3 Inches Of Blood so far, and definitely will be taking in more, very soon. Blue Snaggletooth is more than worth a listen, for those who like that groove-heavy stoner-rock/metal style, and I'm very much looking forward to taking a closer listen to Behold The Monolith's latest. The biggest stand-out among the latest crop of discs, though, is Overkill's "The Electric Age". This disc is damned near perfect from front to back, absolutely no filler at all, just one classic thrash metal moment after another.

I'm probably going to piss off some people by stating this, but I'm dead seriouis when I say that this album pretty much shits all over everything Metallica has recorded since 1991. Lars and Co. would do well to take a listen and maybe get a reminder of what quality thrash metal REALLY sounds like.

But, that's just MY opinion. Check the album out and draw your own conclusions, by all means...

So, with that being said, let us move onto the craziness that was Friday night's show!

An early discussion centered on the recently-announced Darien Lake stop of "The Tour", featuring co-headlining sets from KISS and Motley Crue, a show that will probably rape your wallet, considering the shoddy state of the economy. If you can afford the just-under-$200 ticket price for this event, good for you. Me, I'll just relish the fact that I've already seen Crue three times (two of those times on some of their most famous tours...) and also the fact that I've seen the ORIGINAL line-up of KISS, not this pseudo-KISS that features only two original members and two (albeit talented...) identity thieves.

Oooops, did I say that?

Anyhoo, let's face it. For that kind of money, those who want to ride Tommy Lee's roller coaster drum kit should get to do so, not to mention take over for Vince in the vocal department. You probably can't do much worse, believe me. (No disrespect to Vince, his live vocals have just never been that strong, it's a plain fact).

Joe spent a few moments lamenting the fact that Iron Maiden has just released a CD version of En Vivo, which had previously been released in DVD format. I'm guessing that Joe feels Iron Maiden releases far too much material, especially live stuff. Personally, I wouldn't complain, because I've seen most of their live concert releases, and they never disappoint. Just my opinion, though!

There was a brief discussion of how their aren't enough Cannibal Corpse tracks available for Rock Band. I'm personally not sure how I feel about that, because Hammer Smashed Face is pretty damned torturous, and I don't know if my fingers would survive any more than that. But, hey, I'm sure there are those who'd love to see some full-album DLC made available!

Something was mentioned about that wondrous new "miracle meat" known as Pink Slime, a substance that has personally put me off wanting to even look at ground beef for the foreseeable future. I'll stick with the things I can honestly identify as meat. You know, steaks...pork chops...chicken breasts...Seriously, anyone who has ever seen Soilent Green should maybe lose just a TINY bit of sleep over what this alien pink goo really is. Or not.

After reviewing our usual list of upcoming shows, I decided to share info about the not-so-epic line-up of shows coming to the shell at Canandaigua this year. Yep, once again, for the second year straight, CMAC seems to be shying away from anything resembling a good rock show. Good thing there's some solid club shows coming up, as well as some truly choice events coming to Darien Lake this summer, otherwise I'd be really saddened at the lack of shows to attend in the coming months. I'd like to stress, though, that I'm not actually knocking CMAC's selection of quality artists for the season. There is some very sold talent coming, if you're into country music or jam bands. What I AM knocking, however, is their ability to book good rock shows over the past couple of seasons. I mean, c'mon, it was only three short years ago that Judas Priest played there, alongside Whitesnake, to a packed house! Not to mention Shinedown headlining Carnival Of Madness two years ago. And those are just shows that I personally attended! What the hell has happened since 2010 that's made them shy away from a good rock package? I don't think we're asking for much, here, and there's plenty of options they could be pursuing.Oh well, as I said last year, it's more money in my pocket that can be put toward club shows and local bands. Given the choice, I'd rather just continue supporting the local scene, anyway.

Moving right along...

Raven and Foul Mouth Girl were in attendance once again, as was another Jeffie. We'd all figured that this was just another clone sent by the Demon Azkath, but I guess that's not the case this time. Seems that Raven did a little tampering with the corpse of the Jeffie that she killed a few weeks ago, bringing him back to life and...ummmm..."re-programming" him, as such, creating and..."improved"...Jeffie.

As it stands, Jeffie seems much more child-like, more like a pet than anything else. He definitely likes to sit on people's laps, going from person to person, much to our dismay. Oh, and I'm pretty sure we were all referred to as his "groupies" at one point or another, which is just really, REEEEAAAALLLY wrong...

I will say this, Jeffie still likes his bananas, sticking a couple in his pants and prompting a couple verses of the corresponding song. ("I've got bananas in my pants!") Of course, once they'd been down his pants, there was absolutely no chance of anybody else wanting to eat them. Oh, he was also inserting banana fragments into his nostrils, which I'm pretty sure he never used to do...

I can't remember who it was who said it, but something was mentioned about bananas and cheese being a very bad combination...and I'm strongly inclined to agree with that.

Other humorous moments came when Raven convinced Jeffie that Rick was on fire, making Jeffie run to Rick's assistance in a hurry! Not that Rick seemed overly appreciatvie, considering that he wasn't even in the least bit on fire. And it also seems that Raven has taken a liking to the cry of the Sad Whale, which Jeffie was more than happy to once again duplicate for us. And let's face it, it's impossible for me to not join in at those moments. Sad whales are awesome!

So, not to give too much away, but I took a ride with Rick to Ithaca last night to hang with Azkath and Co. on The Last Exit For The Lost. Strange events were occuring to me, and if I feel that it's safe to come out by Friday, I'm thinking our next edition of the Onslaught will be feeling some of the repercussions from last night. Of course, I might just want to sit in my little shell and attempt to NOT relive some very disturbing things that involve horrible Lovecraftian beasts in WVBR's basement...not to mention some confusing issues regarding my parentage...and worst of all, a highly traumatizing case of gender confusion...