November 19, 2011 - Armed with Valor

  • Published in 2011

Recap by The Metal Wulf
Disclaimer: No sharks have been violated by any member of The Metallic Onslaught. In fact, while Shark Fisting may sound fun to certain adventurous types or those who are addicted to danger (or just the plain stupid, let's not forgot them!), when it's all said and done, it really just sounds like a good way to piss off the shark... and get killed and eaten by it... In other words, DON'T DO THAT!!! It was back to the usual chaos last night after doing a pre-recorded show last week. That actually makes two pre-recorded shows that I need to catch up on now. I'm a little intimidated to be honest... We had most of Armed With Valor in the studio. Always fun to have these folks sit in with us, although I think we confuse Stephanie a litlle... or a lot... (Really Steph, we're pretty harmless...maybe not entirely sane, but we're harmless!) Hey, I'll be honest, if I weren't accustomed to the show, I'd probably wonder what the hell was up with a discussion that started with something about corn meal, and evolved into making Swamp Muffins for Croctosquatch... Really, those are just the natural turns our discussions take. I can honestly understand why some people could end up brain damaged just listening to us!  Anyhoo...  There was also some concern over the whereabouts of Bill. The only thing we're sure of, 100%, was that he was at a viewing of the latest Twilight film, "Breaking Dawn". Now, I'm pretty sure he'd been kidnapped aggressively, by rabid Twi-fans, and dragged to the theater completely against his will. I mean, what kind of guy would actually OFFER to go? NOT MY BRO, THAT'S FOR SURE!!! But, Joe seemed pretty sure that Bill had volunteered his services, and that Bill is actually a Twilight fan. I find that a bit difficult to swallow, but I'm sure the truth will be revealed at some point! Jeffie was visibly absent, and I'd suggested that perhaps he was still cleaning his fists from his fishing trip last week. After all, it was he and Joe who were supposed to go fishing... or fisting... shart fistishing... shark fishing... Whatever... Either way, no Jeffie, and I'm still a little hurt at not being invited for the fishing trip. Not that I would have been in a hurry to fist any sharks... or sharts... however it went down... Maybe it's best I wasn't involved? So, the evening came to a close with Azkath wanting to confirm that I hadn't smoked in awhile, which, to be honest, I hadn't. Hard to remember when my last one was, to be honest.  Here's the official tale of the tape, so to speak. I haven't actually purchased cigarettes since the end of March. I've pretty much quit them entirely, except for rare moments where I'm hanging out at a show. Those are really the only times I want to have a cigarette or two. So, on the average, two cigarettes every two to three weeks, depending on how often I check out some bands. Hey, some folks are social drinkers, I'm more or less a social smoker. I can actually live with that! Azkath seemed pretty pleased that I'd been behaving myself, but informed me that it's now time to get working on bringing my weight down. Personally, I'm not gonna argue with the guy about the need to lose some pounds... but did he really have to beat the snot outta me to announce this next phase? 

Rush - Working Man
Megadeth - Millennium Of The Blind
Kyng - Bleed Easy
StormWarrior - The Ride Of Asgard
Brainstorm - Dark Life

Lonely Kamel - Grim Reefer
Charetta - Lights Out
Battlerage - Raw Metal
Fastway - Deliver Me
Outrage - Pact Of The Wicked

Isole - The Water
Black Pyramid - Endless Agony
Vektor - Dark Creations, Dead Creators
Ion Vein - Anger Inside
Trigger The Bloodshed - Devouring All That Is Kind

Armed With Valor - I Killed The Peeping Tom
Vallenfyre - As The World Collapses
Edge Of Paradise - Tail Of The Gun
A Plea For Purging - My Song

Armed With Valor - We Used A Band-Aid
Die Hard Till Death - Die Hard Till Death
Iced Earth - Days Of Rage
Sulaco - Build And Burn
Mortal Sin - Doomed To Annihilation

Armed With Valor - What All The Kids Are Craving
Midnight Chaser - Hotshot
Black Country Communion - Burn
Dixie Witch - Sevens
Rough Angel - Defiance

Carnifex - We Spoke Of Lies
Ashes Of Your Enemy - Face Of The Flood
Thousand Year War - Open Casket
Myrath - Dawn Within
Supreme Pain - Trapped In Heresy
Black Tusk - Resistor

Close Your Eyes - Scars
Counterparts - Pedestal
Hundredth - Weathered Town
The Gardnerz - Lady In The Grave
Sincera - Cursed
Suffokate - Always Hopeless

Objex - RSVP
Undergang - Table Scraps
Nekrogoblikon - Goblins Ahoy
Svolk - Overload

Slipknot - New Abortion


July 16, 2011 - Armed with Valor and The Death of Randy...

  • Published in 2011

Recap by The Metal Wulf;

Members of Armed With Valor joined us in the studio this week. For those unfamiliar, this is a band that has formed from the ashes of Amelia Is Dead and Torment The Vein. They were kind enough to provide a couple of demo tracks for us to feature, overall not sounding bad at all. A little more melodic than fans of Amelia Is Dead might be expecting, but that's really not a bad thing in my book. Keep an eye out for them soon, as they'll be performing their debut show very soon, and they also have an opening slot for Kittie coming up next month (August 25) at The Lost Horizon in Syracuse. They were also kind enough to take some time for an interview for YouTube and our main website. You can find that interview on YouTube as well as Metallic Onslaught Facebook page as of right now!

Now, on to the goofiness... And when I say goofiness, I mean these guys are losin' their minds. I mean, literally bonkers, outta their minds. Why do I say this? Well, they seem to think that I died on the show last week. Now, I remember having a really weird dream where Bill and Jeffie slammed me through the floor, and Jeffie body splashed me from the upper floor as I was lying in the basement (covered in spiders...), and I also dreamed that Josh slipped on my blood and fell on top of me. But it was a dream, it had to be! I mean, here I am, HELLO!!!! I'm alive and well, and feelin' great! Yet, they seem to think that I was cloned in the meantime, and that I'm another version of Randy. They kept referring to me as Randy 2, which is just plain ridiculous. Honestly, at one point I suggested that, since summer is in full swing, maybe they'd been visiting the cow pastures looking for some special mushrooms. I mean, come on, that's probably the most practical explanation, not that I see any of these guys honestly partaking of hallucinogens... Maybe they're just crazy... Speaking of crazy, Jeffie joined us once again. He was also suggesting I was a clone, and even went so far as to mention that he'd combined his DNA with mine. Sigh... Truly disturbing, Jeffie kept referring to "anal divots" throughout the evening. I'm not too specifically sure what an anal divot is, but I've got a pretty good idea. It got worse, as Jeffie suggested measuring each of our divots, and doing measurements of weenies as compared to the depths of our divots. Do I really need to say that there were NO takers for that? Of course, then there was mention of anal lint, or "Shlint" as I've come to hear it referred to over the years. All I can say to that is...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Let's see, we'd also got on the subject of some photos I'd taken while enjoying a relaxing day in Auburn with my girlfriend, Deb. I'd mentioned that I'd gotten some pics of squirrels, as well as a mama duck with her hatchlings. Hey, is it really so terrible to have an appreciation for the outdoors, and to take advantage of having a good camera for wildlife moments? Joe seemed to think it was kinda gay, to be honest... Seriously, what do they want? It's not like I can jump into wildlife photography with gigantic predators. Not around here, anyway, and I really would rather not encounter any bears. Been there, done that, it was a little on the scary side. With that being said, I think the birds and herbivores should be just fine for now!

Anyhoo, before closing this for another week, just wanted to say that Rick and I are EXTREMELY stoked at our opportunity to interview Devin Townsend this Monday in Rochester. His band, The Devin Townsend Project, will be performing at the Montage Music Hall with Obscura and a few locals (including Malformed and Order Of The Dead), and it should be a damned good time. Look for the  interview on our Facebook page, as well as YouTube and our main website, very likely by Tuesday evening! 


Pagan's Mind - The Master's Voice
George Lynch - Wicked Witch
Daedalus - Perspective Of The Moon
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind

Motorhead - Burner
Motorhead - Nightmare/The Dreamtime
Motorhead - Orgasmatron
Motorhead - Killed By Death

Arch/Matheos - Stained Glass Sky
Symphony x - The End Of Innocence
Devin Townsend Project - Sumeria

Armed With Valor - I Killed The Peeping Tom
Cannabis Corpse - Gateways To Inhalation
Injury - Violence Unleashed
Battlecross - Man Of Stone
Powerwolf - Night Of the Werewolves

Armed With Valor - We Used A Bandaid
Affiance - Call To The Warrior
Altars - Advocate
August Burns Red - Internal Cannon
Hands - Jovian

Kaapora - The Day I Left The Dust
Excruciator - Metal Forces
Malefice - Baying For Blood
All Shall Perish - The Death Plague
Jungle Rot - Push Comes To Shove
Lowkey - Porcupine Cannonball

The Quill - River Of A Moonchild
Megadeth - Devil's Island (Randy Burns Mix)
40 Watt Sun - Between Times
Dream Theater - On The Backs Of Angels
Trivium - In Waves

Gentlemans Pistols - Comfortably Crazy
Zeroking - Kings Of Self-Destruction
Eternity - Sleepwalk
Sepultura - Kairos
Exhumed - As Hammer To Anvil
Morbid Angel - 10 More Dead

Seven Witches - Eyes Of Flame
Voodoo Highway - The Fire Will Burn
Anthrax - Fight 'Em 'Till You Can't
Othin - When The Ash Desolves
Toxic Holocaust - Red Winter

Misfits - Helena
Ninth Moon Black - Kalyug
Ted Nugent - Dog Eat Dog
Attack Attack! - Turbo Swag
Suicide Silence - Smashed

Uriah Heep - Trail Of Diamonds
George Lynch - Rattleshake

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