April 2, 2011 - Randy is Still Smoking...

Recap by Randy, aka Wulfie

My apologies to those who may have hoped to hear Lady GaGa or Justin Bieber on this edition of the show, as we advertised. Actually, if you honestly hoped to hear any of that crap, you probably shouldn't be listening to the Onslaught, anyway... We'd thrown in some fun novelty tracks during the early portion of the show, in the interest of celebrating April Fool's Day, so if you were wondering where "Star Trekkin'" or "Earache My Eye" fit into the scheme, well, now ya know! Let's see, a couple of early discussions stood out. Somehow we got on the subject of video gaming, and Bill and I mentioned how we'd both been having marathon sessions with some recent favorites. For me, it's been Dragon Age II, an amazing sequel to Dragon Age Origins. I mentioned how I'd devoted a straight seven hours in one particular session. Bill, on the other hand, has been mixing it up between Darksiders, Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow, and Dead Space 2. Joe had asked how we handled bathroom breaks for those kind of sessions, to which I replied, "Well, that's what the pause button is for..." Bill, on the other hand, suggested something a little more hardcore, involving duct tape and a hose. Dwelling on that thought kinda makes me cringe, so we'll just move right on from there... Actually, Joe had suggested Depends, an idea that quite frankly never crossed my mind. And probably shouldn't cross my mind for at least another thirty years or so... A discussion about Primus resulted in further head trauma to myself. In a nutshell, Joe was doing a passable imitation of what most Primus songs sound like, leading Bill to mention that it made him feel like whamming his head into the wall. Well, next thing ya know... Wham, wham, wham... Of course, that wasn't the end of the head trauma, Goddess forbid I should catch a break for more than a week at a time. It's like this: Azkath seems to be on a mission to get me to quit smoking. Tough love seems to be be playing a large part in this process, so the blows to the head continued. Among Azkath's implements of "motivation" was a heavy plastic snow shovel. Not as bad as the drill, but damn, still pretty friggin' unpleasant...

Then, to add to the strangeness, at certain points of the show I was singing Bon Jovi songs. For some reason this seemed to happen whenever I craved a cigarette. I'd get the urge to walk into the control room with Joe and Rick, and I'd just break into song, and then go out for a smoke... Then, there were moments when I'd break out into song when I didn't particularly feel like smoking. Puzzling, really, I just don't understand it... Of course, now this talk of smoking makes me want to light up, And, strangely enough, after lighting up I suddenly want to call Joe and sing Bon Jovi songs to him. Awww, hell, it's only 11:55, he shouldn't mind...

Symfonia - Forevermore
Jag Panzer - Bringing The End
Evergrey - The Phantom Letters
Clandestine - Phantom Pain
Within Temptation - Faster

Pearl Jam - Spin The Black Circle
Pearl Jam - Animal
Stryper - On Fire
Power Quest - Rising Anew
The Firm - Star Trekkin'

Grave Robber - Lion Of Judah
Solace - Sled Heavy
Vicious Rumors - Right Of Devastation
Thinning The Herd - Defiler
Taletellers - The Keepers Of Doom
Zuul - Warhammer

Royal Dano - Death Threat
Sanjuro Fields - The Dude
Obscura - Ocean Gateways
Becoming The Archetype - Path Of The Beam
Testament - The Preacher
Duff McKagan's Loaded - Executioner's Song

Cheech & Chong - Earache My Eye
Cavalera Conspiracy - Target
Feral - Graverobber
Amon Amarth - Destroyer Of The Universe
Bodyfarm - Final Redemption
Bane - The Dawn No More Rises

Blackguard - Firefight
Corrosive Carcass - Awesome Nuclear Power
Sabretung - Barbarian
Dark Mass - Neon Revelations
Artillery - Show Your Hate 2011
Salt The Wound - To The Top

Across The Sun - Tipping The Scales
Blood Ceremony - Coven Tree
Between The Buried And Me - Lunar Wilderness
Firebird - A Wing And A prayer

Pictures Of Pain - Betrayal
Sons Of Seasons - Sanctuary
Kampfar - Blitzwitch
Of Wrath And Ruin - Sapphire Sea
Celtachor - A Warning To Balor

Pentagram - Call The Man
Leaves Eyes - Etain
Violent Eve - Priest Of Corruption
Signs Of Betrayal - Hours
Believer - End Of Infinity

Hyperborean - Killing Grounds
Holocaustum - Prepare For Butchery
Diabolical - Sightless 6

Whitesnake - All Out Of Love