October 30, 2015 - Halloween

  • Published in 2015

Jeffie and RandyThis particular week wasn’t just special due to the fact that it was our Halloween show, but we also featured an interview with Chastain vocalist, Leather Leone. Gotta say, the new Chastain album is pretty incredible! But, yes, this was our Halloween show, and Jeffie had completely ruined the holiday for me. Honestly, my favorite day of the year. The one holiday I truly embrace whole-heartedly. And that goofy son of a bitch totally fucked it up for me. In previous weeks, the plant growth that was slowly spreading over my body was staying pretty well hidden beneath my clothing, but not this week. My face and hands were partially covered in what looked like mulch, along with some leaves. And, to top it off, a big yellow flower was growing out of my forehead... And, to make matters worse, I’d addressed the issue of the “twig and berries” literally turning into...a twig and berries... And let’s not forget the indignity of lactating maple syrup! Oh, yeah, that’s loads of fun! I may as well cover my nipples in velcro, the effect is pretty much the same! And based on Jeffie’s negative experiences when trying to eat pieces of me, I’m pretty sure Randy-syrup is not likely to get marketed by Aunt Jemima any time soon... Jeffie took a moment during the Leather Leone interview to put on his Halloween costume, and you can imagine my dismay as he came out with his goofy dinosaur hat, which had been adorned with Spanky’s horn. And he was also wearing part of Spanky’s hide over his back. Aside from those things, that is ALL Jeffie was wearing... And, of course, he just had to take it all one step further by mocking me in Spanky’s voice, suggesting that it was my fault that Spanky was dead, which I obviously know is not true, but still, that was pretty fucked up! Have I mentioned that Jeffie’s got a LOT to answer for in the coming weeks? We finally got the full story of what happened to Joe that week he was missing, which you’ll remember was also the week that Jeffie returned and revealed that he had murdered Spanky. Anyhow, it seems that Jeffie and Joe went on a picnic. Now, I find it very hard to believe that Joe willingly took part in this venture. This is the guy who complained weekly about recording outdoors during the summer! Aside from the occasional softball game and perhaps mowing the lawn, Joe doesn’t do “outdoors”. But, Jeffie insists that they went into the woods, got lost, and had a picnic. He even went so far as to suggest that Joe was snuggling a raccoon, which I never would have believed, if not for the photos. Oh, yeah, Jeffie supplied photographic evidence of the “picnic”, and to say that the evidence provided was shocking would be an understatement. Let’s just say that Joe wasn’t precisely conscious for the festivities. It certainly appeared that Joe had been roofied...and that nuts and tossed salad were on the menu at this picnic! And I won’t even go into what that raccoon was doing...

All of this was pretty much the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as Joe was concerned. Earlier in the evening he had mentioned possibly splitting off with Josh in the interest of forming their own show. Jokingly we’d all referred to that particular union as “Joesh” forming what would become the “Joeshow”...or would that be “Joesh Show”....hmmmmm... Anyhoo, Joe and Josh made good on their threat, leaving the studio once things started getting really out of hand, and the truth about his absence had been revealed. Oddly enough, Josh returned shortly thereafter, without Joe. And it wasn’t long after that someone burst into the building wearing a Richard Nixon mask, and proceeded to beat Jeffie to a pulp, concluding our Halloween festivities for another year.

- Randy Metal Wulf

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