July 30, 2011 - Experimenting on Randy

Recap by The Metal Wulf;
Big focus on new music lately, and last night was no exception. Truth is, things are going to get a little crazy very soon, as we'll be seeing new releases from Trivium, Kittie, Warbringer, Anthrax, Dream Theater, Opeth, Evile, Machine Head, Mastodon, Skeletonwitch, and a crap load of others. Gonna be a little tough prioritizing, but for my part I can't wait to get my hands on the Anthrax, Evile, Opeth, and Mastodon discs!

Got on some bizarre subjects last night, which is really nothing new when it all boils down, but still, there are nights where I honestly end up wondering "How in the HELL did we get on that?" For one thing, we seemed to be in a severe non-metal slump as far as topics went. I mean, seriously, you know there's something very wrong when you end up discussing Huey Lewis and John Denver during the course of a metal radio show. I'm wondering if there was a strange astrtological convergence going on or something, the subject matter just got so weird. Then somebody commented that someone sounded like Julia Child, so of course that just sparked shit in my brain, and next thing you know I'm imitating her, talking about braising pork chops. Really, don't ask, I don't know why my brain makes these connections, it just does... Of course, it just got sillier when we took the discussion even further. Somehow Bob Ross got mentioned. Remember him? The guy who painted all those "happy little trees"? Yeah... So, somehow saw Bob and Julia Child making a really good couple. Assuming, of course, that they were still alive, which they're not. But, really, it seemed like it could have been a match made in heaven. Bob kind of struck all of us as the type who occasionally liked to smoke some happy little trees, as well as painting them. So, occasionally he'd perhaps have the munchies. This is where Julia Child would be his dream woman, because she'd always have something yummy on hand just for those moments! And Bob would be able to paint all kinds of nice pictures for Julia's kitchen... Hell, maybe, just MAVBE,  in some weird alternate reality, that's EXACTLY what happened!
Better abandon this train of thought before folks think I'VE been smoking them happy little trees... Anyhoo...

So, the clone b.s. is continuing, and in the interest of proving me wrong, Jeffie mentioned a theory he had involving my... Sigh... ...anal divot... Yeah, back to that again, something about if I were a clone, my divot would be deeper than a regular person. Wasn't about to let him anywhere near my divot, by the way. Especially when he mentioned the divot in conjunction with his hands and other parts of my anatomy. There was omething mentioned about it being like a finger puppet...
Yeah, that definitely wasn't happening! And to make it worse, Jeffie felt that I might enjoy a screwdriver to the divot. Have I mentioned that this Jeffie is among the worse we've encountered? Funny side note: Josh is still spouting theories about this Jeffie and another one that is possibly time travelling, in the tradition of Dr. Who. Only, in this case, instead of a Tardis, Jeffie is piloting a Re-Tardis... When he puts it that way, it's a little hard to argue... Anyhoo, my evening on the show last night ended rather abruptly, after Jeffie slipped a little something into my chewing gum. Honestly, at first I thought he was going to stick the pack into his pants, because we all know how much Jeffie LOVES to stick things in his pants... Ick... But, no, oddly enough that wasn't the case this time. I was still hestiant about chewing a piece after he'd handled it, of course, but then he forced a piece into my mouth, and from there it was all over. Seemed he'd been experimenting with something that duplicated the effects of both Ecstacy AND Viagra... So, yeah, my night ended by stroking all kinds of interesting surfaces, and being unable to stand up without embarrasment. I eventually wandered off into the night, looking for, ummmmm...something to.... Yeah... More on that later...MUCH later, as I'll be missing the next couple of shows. Next week because of my  day job, the following week because a few of us are going to be in Ithaca to see Sorrow Of Batavia and some other great bands at The Haunt. So, yeah, a little patience is in order. I'll just say this much...squirrels are REALLY bad-tempered when you wake them up at night...and splinters really, REEEEAAAALLLY suck... ...especially THERE...


Cypherseer - From The Womb
Symphony X - Dehumanized
Gentlemans Pistols - Midnight Crawler
George Lynch - Brand New Day

Trivium - Watch The World Burn
Megadeth - Killing Is My Business...And Business Is Good (live)
Psychostick - Numbers (I Can Only Count To Four)
Pagan's Mind - The Master's Voice

Arch/Matheos - Stain Glass Sky
Dream Theater - On The Backs Of Angels

Uncle Knucklefunk - Acoustic Man
Scorcher - Don't Hold Back
Jasta - The Fearless Must Endure
Order Of The Dead - Brotherhood Of Darkness
Absolution Project - Delusional

Serianna - Inheritors
Bury Your Dead - Mosh N' Roll
Dir En Grey - Decayed Crow
Mastodon - Black Tongue
Fair To Midland - Rikki Tikki Tavi
August Burns Red - Internal Cannon
Sulaco - Summon The Hammer

Tyrant Of Death - Necronomicon
Communic - In Union We Stand
Doom Unit - Dead Pilot
Dark Castle - To Hide Is To Die
No Redemption - No Return

Sepultura - Relentless
Ringworm - Cleansing Of The Fall
Altars - Advocate
Exhumed - As Hammer To Anvil
Jungle Rot - Kill On Command
vanna - Passages

KYNG - Falling Down
Burn Everything - They Don't Advertise Killers
Hail!Hornet - Unholy Foe
Iwrestledabearonce - Deodorant Can't Fix Ugly
Warbringer - Living Weapon

Armored Saint - stricken By Fate
Overkill - Wrecking Crew
Candlemass - Under The Oak
Malevolence - Face The Death
The Quill - Running

I.N.C. - The Good Bones Stay Down
Affiance - Call To The Warrior
Zombie Shaker Box - Hideaway
Hands - Water
Zeroking - Black Friday
Armed With Valor - I Killed The Peeping Tom

Law - Bees
Unkind - Kaivannot
Eternity - Sleepwalk
A Hill To Die Upon - The Perfection Of Evil