June 22, 2013 - Joe's Birthday

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Playlist

Dio - Fever Dreams
Queens of The Stone Age - I Sat By The Ocean
Jorn - I Came To Rock
Moon Curse - Black Elk

Metallica - Trapped Under Ice
Havok - Worse Than War
Darkane - Collapse Of Illusions
Brutus - Square Headed Dog
Amon Amarth - We Shall Destroy
Kalmah - Pikemaster

Extol - Behold The Sun
The Black Dahlia Murder - Phantom Limb Masterbation
Alice In Chains - Lab Monkey
Huntress - Destroy Your Life
Dream Death - Bludgeon

Wolf - A Dangerous Meeting
Scorpion Child - Salvation Slave
August Burns Red - Count It All As Lost
Anger As Art - Speed Kills

Satan - Time To Die
Into The Flood - Sufferer
Children of Bodom - Damaged Beyond Repair
A Pale Horse Named Death - The Needle In You
Evile - Skull
Anvil - Call Of Duty
The Quill - Freak Parade

Spirits Of The Dead - Song Of Many Reefs
Mumakil - Fresh Meat For The Grinder
King Kobra - The Crunch
Battlecross - Wage A War
Gutted - Collector Of Souls
Beyond Creation - Omnipresent Perception

White Wizzard - Kings Of The Highway
Queensryche - X2
Queensryche - Where Dreams Go To Die
Zed - Settle The Score
Megadeth - Kingmaker
Demon Lung - Eyes Of Zamiel

Pasadena Napalm Division - 100 Beers With A Zombie
Svartcrown - Genesis Architect
Colossus - Beacons
Disfigured Dead - Deranged Concecration
Yellowtooth - '75 Black Pontiac
Venomous Maximus - Father Time
Venomous Maximus - Dream Again

Revelation's Hammer - Buried As Filth
Kalmah - Windlake Tale
The Black Dahlia Murder - Control

Havok - Living Nightmare
   


Recap by The Metal Wulf


Birthdays are a sure guarantee of carnage and chaos on the Onslaught, with our long-suffering host Joe Wyatt being the most recent celebrant.
Joe had mentioned the previous week that he'd like a visit from Sloth for his birthday, and Sloth didn't disappoint. Of course, in addition to Sloth, Seriah Azkath, Arydaea Insanity, and JustJoe (from The Last Exit For The Lost) had also joined us for the evening. 
As a matter of fact, according to Azkath, Arydaea was supposed to emerge from a cake. Joe was unconvinced, however, insisting that the cake probably had Jeffie in it. Azkath countered with assurances that the cake was too small to have Jeffie in it...but in the end, that's exactly who was in it...
Odd, I would have sworn Jeffie NEVER would have fit inside that thing...yet, he did...sort of...
Truth is, he almost made it out of the cake before he got stuck...and I mean FIRMLY stuck. There was absolutely NO getting him out without a lot of effort on our part.
Which, in the long run, really felt like way too much trouble and energy to expend on his stupid ass, so we just relocated him to another room and let him fend for himself. Truth is, last time I saw him, he'd somehow repositioned himself in the cake so that only his feet were sticking out. I think he may have been trying to eat his way free.
He's fine, though, no worries! I'm almost positive he'll be back without needing to clone him again...

Thanks to Bill throwing me under the bus, word got back to Azkath that I had once again snuck in a cigarette. This led to an attack with the Pooh stick. That didn't sit well with me, because anybody who saw the last video segment to feature the Pooh stick knows where the thing had ended up. Yep, that same Pooh stick that Sloth violated himself with months ago on The Last Exit ended up getting shoved in my face, in and around my nose and mouth area, among other places that I'd rather not discuss.
Yeah, it was pretty bad... 
 
Further birthday shenanigans included a mouse trap toss. Literally, taking loaded mouse traps and tossing them at Sloth's tush. This eventually led to covering a portion of the floor in loaded mouse traps and tossing Sloth into them.