June 11, 2011 - Joe Marro

Seriously, things deteriorated very quickly on this particular evening. I mean, there's a perfectly good reason why we call our little section of the studio "The Stupid Room". It has more than earned that name, and probably long before it was ever dubbed as such. But there's stupid, and then there's STOOOOOOPIIIIID.... Bill's roommate Greg was briefly mentioned. Now, Greg was known as Dude On Couch (D.O.C. for short...) until Bill's previous roommate got the boot. Now Dude On Couch has his own room, so he's now known as Dude OFF Couch (so as to still keep the D.O.C. nickname...) Somehow this not only led to the mentioning of how I have a Moose On Couch (literally, a stuffed moose that was a door prize at a Christmas party many years ago...). A photo of that moose can now be seen on the Metallic Onslaught's Facebook page... Now, that, on it's own, wasn't so terrible. It wasn't until Josh said something about DudeOnCouch.com that it got inappropriate. Yeah, we've got our minds firmly entrenched in the gutter, so of course we all envisioned dudes on their couches, in front of webcams... Bleah... That officially falls under the category of things that we should never mention on the show, ever again... So, it was established that it was Will Polson's (aka Shades) birthday, and somewhere along the line I got nominated to be the one to administer the required number of birthday spankings. A mentally scarring process, I would much rather have left it all to Lindsey, who is dating Will. Problem is, they both would have enjoyed it too much, so it fell on me to the the deed... Something about using Astro-Glide had been mentioned, which prompted me to state that were I to use that while spanking Will, I would likely end up with my arm up his ass to my elbow, and then we could have a puppet show on the Onslaught... Totally, TOTALLY, unnecessary... Anyhoo, Will got the required number of spankings, and then some. I don't know who was more damaged in the end, to be perfectly honest. So, throughout the evening we'd been prompting listeners to "Like" our Facebook page. In recent weeks we've had a major increase in our numbers, and we had just cracked the 600 mark. Now, understand that just three weeks prior, just before Finger Lakes Metal Fest, we were at 485. By the time we went off the air on the most recent edition of the show, we had hit 612. We were aiming for 666 by the end of the night, but that's still almost 130 new fans in three weeks time! I'd also like to mention that Joe Marro offered to shave all the hair from his body if we reached our goal of 666. I'd almost have to say that we're probably just as glad that we didnt' have to endure that... A number of us, particularly Rick, Joe Marro, and myself, were experiencing some gassiness. Now, if you're a regular listener, this should really not come as anything remotely close to a surprise, but thigs went way off kilter in that regard this week. Seriously, the smell was almost beyond unbearable at times. It was frequently mentioned that underwear should probably be inspected for poo fragments. Now, I don't know why this popped in my head, but the subject of poo got me thinking of something I'd pondered while watching "America's Got Talent". I even mentioned this on the show. For those unfamiliar with G.G. Allin, here's a little summary: Part punk performer, part performance artist, all disgusting. The guy was infamous for crapping on stage, rolling in it, and throwing it into the crowd. I'm pretty sure he may have even tasted and spit poo at certain junctures... Anyhoo, G.G. was also famous for promising to kill himself onstage someday, and suggesting he may take a "lucky" fan or two with him. Mr. Allin died of a heroin overdose before anything like that could happen. He may or may not have been covered in his own feces at the time... Anyway, while watching America's Got Talent this week, I'd gotten to wondering how the judges would have reacted to G.G. Allin if he'd lived long enough to audition for such a show. Really, just picture the reactions of Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and Howie Mandell. ESPECIALLY Howie Mandel, who is a notorious germophobe. C'mon, tell me that doesn't just tickle your funny bone... In the end, one of those nights where we laughed long, loud, and frequently. And to be completely honest, those really are the BEST nights!

Included in this week's pictures, which are headshots, we also included pictures of the station. Actually taken last week, we were informed that we would be moving buildings in a few months. It turned out not to happen till 2014, but that is another story. So, for posterity, we are including those pics as well.

Playlist

Rhapsody Of Fire - Ghosts Of Forgotten Worlds
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - I've Done Everything For You
Trivium - In Waves
Within The Ruins - Carry On Wayward Son

Twisted Sister - You Can't Stop Rock 'N' Roll
Twisted Sister - Under The Blade
Who Cares - Out Of My Mind
Karma To Burn - The Cynics
Pyramaze - The Bone Carver
Cypherseer - Aftermass

Saxon - Hammer Of The Gods
The Muggs - Blood Meridian
Warrant - Cocaine Freight Train
TYR - I
Black Stone Cherry - Change
Alestorm - Death Throes Of the Terrorsquid

Morbid Angel - Beauty Meets Beast
Sepulura - Relentless
Herder - Heading South
Othin - Approaching Darkness
Spellcaster - Spellcaster

Paradyme - Distorted Reality
Job For A Cowboy - Execution Parade
Devin Townsend Project - Planet Of The Apes

Arch Enemy - The Book Of Heavy Metal
Order Of The Dead - Stab
Slayer - Behind The Crooked Cross

Cry To The Blind - Better Than Me
Nine Round - Soldier
Fleshburn - Amongst The Dead
Prong - Beg To Differ
Deceased - The Traumatic
In Solitude - Demons

Tombs - Bloodletters
INC - If I Were President
Black Sabbath - Digital Bitch
Thorr-Axe - Dragon King
The Black Dahlia Murder - On Stirring Seas Of Salted Blood

Ozzy Osbourne - No Bone Movies
Ozzy Osbourne - Steal Away (The Night)
The Rods - Fight Fire With Fire
Black'N Blue - Candy
Black Tide - Walking Dead Man
Black Country Communion - Man In The Middle

Unexpect - Silence This Parasite
IKILLYA - Razorblades
Vanna - I, The Remover

A Pale Horse Named Death - When Crows Decend Upon You